PMA3: With Arms Wide Open
by Zafona
Summary: Sequel to Pleasure My Angel Encore Performance. Happily married, Dean and Castiel hadn't realized the truth of 'Nephelim have different DNA' until it's too late. Their world's about to turn on it's head. Warning: AU characters ahead and MPREG. Plz R&R
1. Chapter 1

"Thank you so much, everyone. For sticking with us this long, after all the ups and downs we've had and a lot of confusing press coverage. For joining us now, I always welcome new faces. For coming to the last show of our _Graceless Tour_! Love you all! Have a great night!"

The crowd shrieks, the stadium is full of people this time, all cheering and screaming for Castiel, for _Pleasure My Angel_. The tightly clad man raises his arms to encourage the crowd's increasing volume; it almost looks as if he's conducting them. One arm suddenly drops while the other does a few fancy twirls, ending in his customary bow to the fans. With that, the Angel leaves the stage, the constant shout for an encore pounding at his back.

PMA has become a household name all across the world, they're songs are at the tops of all kinds of charts throughout the nations, and they've sold billions of albums. Castiel's face can be seen smiling off of posters, t-shirts, backpacks, sweaters, books, magazines, and all other kinds of paraphernalia. The PMA logo is sported just as often on things and in places that a face would appear seriously inappropriate. After all of the things he'd seen, Castiel's personal favourite was the sleeve of tattoos on one woman's arms depicting all of the band's faces.

Cass steps backstage and throws on his common after-show shirt, a baggy white button-up. Clear blue eyes scan the adorably exhausted expressions of his band mates, a smile encroaching on his lips as he goes for a bottle of water. "Amazing show tonight," he chugs the water back, trickles of it missing his mouth and running down his chin.

Anna sighs, wiping her forehead. "I think these get-ups get more ridiculous as we go along."

"What?" Cass shrugs, looking down at the remainder of his performing clothes. "I like bondage."

"Yeah yeah, we know." She unclips numerous belts from her chest, not caring if they see anything since she's been with them for far too long and knows they've seen it all. "I just hate having to undress after, it's a pain in the butt."

"I think the hard part is getting into it." Castiel admits, shifting his hips comfortably, "My least favourite part is the new gear, I know I said I wanted to 'fly' onstage and logically we'd have to support me with cords and shit. But honestly? I can fly on my own, why do I need to have those damn wires on?"

Anna smirked, "Because normal people can't fly, and _normal_ people would freak out if you jumped down from a super high place without any safety wires or cords. And of course then there's the media who would have another field day with it. You want them looking at you funny, like after your other dimension self went and said some pretty out of character things to that one TV station?"

Cass stuck his tongue out at her playfully, "Well come on, let's get back home."

Their band doesn't tour, not really. They set up gigs on a certain 'route' that makes it look as though they are driving across the country, but of course they just fly there for set up. Balthazar had long arranged their procedure, a few years back after Michael died and they'd lost their manager. They have a crew that actually does drive the touring route, a crew that is very well paid but never sees the band until the night they set up for the show.

This way PMA can stay at home with their friends and loved ones as long as they want, as often as they want. Castiel loves the attention he gets from being the lead singer of a popular band, but he loves Dean's pouting face more when he has to leave to perform. Dean never warmed up to the music, but at least he doesn't sit around and mock it anymore.

Anna hopped into Balthazar's arms wearing a much more comfortable shirt, if they were going home that meant she needed to cling to one of the angels.

_Pleasure My Angel's_ last performance on their Graceless Tour had been filmed and aired live on television that night, Sam sat with Bella, Jo, Chuck, and Adam in the Winchester's living room watching the performance. It wasn't that their group hadn't wanted to go to every PMA performance ever, they were all still pretty big fans after all. In actuality they'd gone to so many that Sam feared for their hearing and decided to stay home and watch it on TV. Not to mention the last concert had gotten pretty rough and, as his usual position is to protect his friends from the mosh pit, Sam had barely gotten out of there still conscious.

With the sound of fluttering wings echoing in the air, Jo leapt from the couch and darted to the band, wrapping her arms around Gabriel's neck and kissing him adamantly. They'd taken a bit of a break a while ago while Castiel had gone missing, no one really had time for romance then it seemed. But now she was very insistent on being his girlfriend, neither being too ready for anything close to marriage even after all the time they'd been together.

"Amazing show!" She chided after unlocking their lips. "You were awesome!"

Sam smiled, his arm around Bella's shoulders, a shiny ring on each of their left ring-fingers. "I was impressed, you didn't stumble this time." His smile turned into a mocking grin in Gabriel's direction.

* * *

><p>Dean found it hard to believe that life could be so damn good: every day was better than the day before, and he grew increasingly excited for the days to come. Castiel was everything he'd ever wanted, and now? Now Dean was married to him. The superstar, triple platinum singer brought in a triple platinum income, and the only cars Dean worked on were the ones he wanted, in his own personal shop. Life was good.<p>

Castiel was a wonderful mate, and Dean still hadn't quite figure out what to label him as. Castiel flipped every time Dean called him his wife, because Castiel was most definitely not a woman. But there was something just not right about calling him his husband. Whatever the correct terminology was, married life with Castiel was heaven on Earth –you know, if you like chaos, mass amounts of sex, and pure unadulterated unpredictability. But it was fun.

It hadn't taken too long before Bella folded to Sam's puppy dog face –and Dean had called it. There was no way to resist that face, not for more than a few months. Dean couldn't resist it for more than a few hours. Bella may have been stubborn, she may even have been trying to teach the man a lesson, but even she didn't stand a chance against Sam's superior focus, pouting, and nagging. Personally, Dean was quite impressed with the fight she put up –but he'd never tell her that. He'd also never remind Sam about the 'sloppy seconds' rule, and how his little brother was dating an ex of his. Sam was married a few months after Dean.

The only downside to marriage with a celebrity was the popularity that came with it. Wealth was great, but the paparazzi, the tabloids, the press in general, the screaming fans, and the crazy fan-sites were a bit too much. Not to mention the shows. Castiel loved his music and loved his band, and their practices went on forever. Hours upon hours, day and night if need be. They were good at what they did, and they toured like mad. The time apart was borderline unbearable.

The others went to every show, and Dean tried –he really did try. The music wasn't his taste, and the crowds that it attracted were worse. Of course that was debatable –Dean's musicians were either dead or attracted 40-50 year-olds decked in leather and vests. The best part was being backstage when Castiel came back off stage, flying high on the energy of the show. Sex was always amazing the night of a show. And so Dean waited; lounging in his room in his boxers with beer, waiting for his dear wife to return home.

Castiel hadn't arrived in the same place as the others, he knew Dean well, and he knew that Dean wouldn't sit through another PMA performance, especially if it wasn't in person. There was just something about your heart pounding with the bass as you were shoved around in a hot and mostly violent crowd, watching your husband dance suggestively on stage. Dean didn't like their music and he certainly wouldn't enjoy watching Castiel prance around for strangers on TV, it couldn't be for Dean if Dean wasn't in the same room.

Cass walked to Dean's side, snatching the man's beer from him. "I'm home," he smiles and is about to drink when he realizes the bottle's empty. "Awe," he looks inside, "Babe you didn't leave any for me."

Dean turned lazily toward Cass, a small smile dancing on his lips. "Well I'm sorry, I'd say something clever about getting the alcohol outta me, but I'm not quite creative enough to set that up." Dean happily pulled Castiel onto the bed, shuffling backwards with bad intent.


	2. Chapter 2

_Two Months Later_

Sunlight filled the room; the sheets were warm and comfortable as Castiel slides in and out of consciousness. His hand drifts up his husband's side starting at the hip and moving to the shoulder. Dean's muscles haven't changed, they're still rock hard and they still turn him on. Cass smiles to himself as he feels the writhing in his body, a swirling feeling, putting pressure on his skin.

His eyes fly open, this feeling is wriggling much too high inside him to be morning wood. Castiel stumbles out of bed frantically, his stomach suddenly doing flip-flops and the sickly swirling is rising in his throat at an alarming rate. He thankfully makes it to the bathroom where he proceeds to puke yesterday's supper into the shiny porcelain. He stays here for several agonizing minutes until his stomach has calmed down a little.

Dean moaned incoherently, slowly shaking the hold of deep sleep from his mind. It'd been a long while since the wedding came and went, a long while since Cass' disappearance but it still left a cold pit in Dean's stomach to wakeup alone. Dean felt the empty bed sheets, fading heat with the absence of another body. "Cass?" Dean asked, trying desperately to hide the growing panic in his voice. He can hear the shower running, and waits patiently for Cass' reappearance.

Cass shuffles back to bed, his nausea having subsided enough for him to curl into a ball there.

"Hey babe, what's wrong?" Dean wrapped his arms around the contained ball that was Castiel. "Not feeling so hot, huh? I've gotcha." Dean held Cass close, sharing body warmth and comfort. He kissed him gently behind the ear and whispered "I love you."

Cass mumbled his reply into Dean's chest, something to the effect of 'I love you too' though he's not feeling well enough to really say it properly.

Later that morning Castiel crawls from his covers, he leans over the toilet again. He can't shake the dizzying motion in his head though he knows it isn't really there. Finally he wanders downstairs, his hair a mess and his face pale. "Morning." He mutters groggily, his steps taking him to the fridge where he promptly finds some Pepto Bismol.

Dean looks up from the newspaper comics, relinquished by Sam to appease the nagging older brother. "Good morning Cass," he chimed in reply, always happy to see his love in the morning. But something seemed very wrong, as reinforced by the Pepto.

After drinking the vile sludge he moves to was the lid in the sink where he notices there's a plate with food still on it. "What the fuck! The garbage can is right there!" He grabs the plate angrily and stalks to the metal can, dumping the contents of the plate inside, "You can't just turn the plate sideways for two seconds before taking it to the sink!"

Sam slowly lowers his newspaper, his eyes shifting from Bella to Dean, "Uh... Cass that was your plate."

They see Cass' back, he stops moving for a second then continues toward the sink again, "Shut up and fuck off Sam."

The younger Winchester is taken aback but figures that Cass probably isn't having the best day. "You've got the flu or something?"

Cass, rinsing the plate now, "I guess..." He mutters exhaustedly, "God damn it." He throws the plate down and walks out of the room, the dried food having frustrated him endlessly in less than a minute.

Dean exchanges worried glances with Sam and Bella, wisely choosing not to say anything. He hadn't messed anything up, as far as he knew. He made sure to remember every birthday and every anniversary, to celebrate every successful show and tour, and he'd made _damn_ sure that the sex was good. His record seemed to be clean, so this wasn't an out lash because of Dean's behaviour.

"Dean?" Sam looks to his brother, "I think this one's on your side of the field."

Dean looked sceptically at Sam, a more childish part of him wanting to ask why he had to do it. But something was incredibly wrong, Cass was really upset about something, and Dean was going to get to the bottom of it –at the risk of his head.

As the months passed Dean wished he could say that Castiel's mood improved –but it didn't. Dean was an expert at cheering Castiel up; he had months of practice now. The off the wall mood swings, the incredible highs followed by incredible lows mixed with the recurring morning illness didn't make that little lump on Castiel's belly any less suspicious. Dean could only pray that Castiel himself didn't notice the little bulge –lest he launch into a radical starvation diet.

Castiel had been noticing the changes in his behaviour, his random morning sickness moments, and of course his body. He was so used to wearing tight jeans or shirts or both, the shift in his body alarmed him and he'd hoped Dean hadn't noticed. He didn't want to eat less, for some reason he was suffering from the most outrageous cravings of his life and he just wanted to keep _eating_. Of course, the lump on his belly bothered him more than the cravings, he was getting bigger. It was probably because of how he was eating, so to counter that he worked out, _a lot_.

Dean's mind couldn't help but run rogue with possibilities. He knew it was impossible, and he didn't want to bring the thought to Sam for fear of utter shut down, but he could dream. Though one day in bed, Dean's eager and excited imaginings got the better of him, and he found himself rubbing soft circles on Castiel's little belly bump, which was getting bigger by the day.

Castiel's eyes shot down to the hand on his stomach, a mixture of emotions wracking his mind immediately. Dean knew, of course Dean knew! He fondled this body every night, how could he not notice the fucking belly that Castiel was growing! Cass didn't say a word; he slipped out of bed immediately and ran to the bathroom, entirely ashamed of it. "Oh god... don't look at me." He whimpers on the other side of the locked door, he can't help but bawl now, the love of his life knows he's fat. He has no idea what he's going to do.

Dean blinked slowly, trying to figure out what had just happened. "Aw crap," _'I bet he thinks I'm calling him fat.'_ Dean pulled himself out of bed and walked over to the adjoined bathroom door, only to find that it was locked. "I'm sorry, Cass."

"I'm so ugly!" Cass sobs, his nose running as he rubs it continuously, sniffling and wiping his eyes. "I'm fat and ugly!"

"No, you're not fat. And you're definitely not ugly. I didn't mean to insult you, ok? I'm sorry I rubbed your little baby bump." Dean winced –he'd said the wrong thing, he was _never_ supposed to say that out loud. Not to Cass. Dean thought it was cute, and with Castiel's supposed genetic make-up being off the wall with the nephelim bit, it was totally possible in Dean's eyes –but telling Cass that his gut made him look pregnant was not a good idea, even if it slipped out accidentally and wasn't phrased anything like that.

Cass started wailing from beyond the door, entirely closed off into himself now. "You aren't helping!" He hit the door with a balled up fist. A baby! There was no way he was pregnant, no way in hell. Just because all of his symptoms were similar to a woman with child did NOT mean he was in the same boat. He wasn't human or an angel, he was a nephelim and Balthazar had said a while back that he could have all sorts of weird DNA malformations, but... Cass shook his head, his sobbing calming down a bit though it was quickly being replaced by a wave of fear. He couldn't be pregnant, he refused to believe it.

* * *

><p>Sam heard Castiel from the main floor, having a coffee with Gabriel and Balthazar. "Okay," he stares at the men sitting across from him, "I'm sick of him blowing up on us."<p>

Jo nodded in agreement, "Now he thinks he's fat of all things."

Anna smirked, "I'm guessing you didn't notice his little pot belly."

"He does not!" Jo gaped at her, eyes wide in shock and disbelief.

"Does," Sam added, "I noticed it a little while ago." He rubs his chin thoughtfully, "Dean's been staring at it pretty... lovingly. Anyone thinking what I'm thinking?"

"What!" Jo exclaimed, not being able to get over her shocked expression, "No way! You don't think he's... you know," she cradles her belly a little.

Adam laughed, "Dean's the kind of guy who'd look at pot bellies with disgust, not adoration."

Sam nods again, "I wouldn't really recognize it if it weren't for a similar case I'm going through." He motions toward the stairs, "You know how Bella's been sick lately too?"

"Yeah, isn't it just a bug going around or something?" Anna muttered, sipping her coffee.

"We thought maybe, but after she took a test yesterday..." Sam places a plastic baggy on the table, a pregnancy test showing positive inside, "We have a better idea."

Jo shrieked in joy and bolted up the stairs to where Bella was undoubtedly napping, she had to show her support to her best friend in the world.

Sam nodded again, "Yeah... she took it last night, we're not quite sure what we're gonna do yet."

Anna stared blankly, "So... don't you use protection? Isn't she on birth control?"

"Both," Sam states, running his hand through his hair. The only possibility he could think of was that she stopped taking them on purpose and one of the condoms broke. Either that, or an angel was fucking with them. Either way, she too had a slight belly on her and was going through a series of emotional waves.

Needless to say the last few months were crazy, Castiel and Bella had been at one another's throats one second, crying with each other the next, and then laughing hysterically at nothing. Sam wanted to inform Dean as soon as he discovered the similarities but couldn't bring himself to think about it further than waking up this morning.

Adam looked at Sam blankly, "You know she did that on purpose, right?" He'd talked to Bella often, being the only brother of Sam's that wouldn't really laugh her off. She still wasn't on the best of terms with Dean, not to mention he was far too busy with Castiel. "She had this sneaking suspicion that you'd say 'let's think about it first' or 'we're not ready for that yet' and she wanted a kid."

Sam sighed anxiously, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index finger, "I know she did and she was right, I would have totally said that." It was because he wasn't ready to be a dad yet, how the hell could he be? It wasn't like saying 'let's go get a dog' or 'adopt an orphan in Australia and send a dollar everyday'. This was a baby, his baby, his son or daughter. He had no idea where to start researching or if he should even bother. He couldn't run to Dean for help, his older brother was in the same boat. At least they could go through this stage of their lives together, he was grateful for at least that much.

"I'm gonna tell Dean." Sam stood and walked up the stairs slowly, his mind fumbling over several thoughts. He peers at Dean, sitting outside the bathroom trying to console his wife through a locked door. "Uh, Dean?" Sam says in a hushed voice, "Can I tell you something?" He motions for Dean to follow him.

Dean frowned, but followed Sam. He wasn't going to make any progress here. "Dude, I fucked up royally. He is _livid_." Dean ran a frustrated hand over his head, and exhaled heavily. "I just don't know what to say to him."

Sam smirked a little, "I get that, I'm probably in a similar situation myself." He glances at the door and exhales slowly, "Well you could tell him this; you know how Bella and Cass have been acting... weird, together? Well I figured it out." He lifts the plastic bag up again, "Bella tested herself last night, I think they're both pregnant."

Dean's eyes widened, "So you mean this isn't all in my head? It's for real?" Dean's excitement was growing inside him, and he was about ready to burst. "This is awesome!" He shouted, complete with energetic fist pumping action. "I've gotta tell him right away, he's going to be so excited."

Sam nodded, "Yeah it's not in your head but try to at least tell him gently-" but Dean was already darting down the hallway.

**Author's Note: **

**Cookies for those who figured out the mpreg XD Not too hard, I imagine. The next several chapters are short, I'll probably put them up once a day or every other day, depending on the number of reviews I get. Reviews are an amazing thing! They keep authors writing ha ha ha **

**But seriously, moar! O_O**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note****:**

**Right so now we know it's mpreg and I'm sorry for those who are uncomfortable with this; however to the rest who are fans buckle up because it's gonna be a long one this time :)**

* * *

><p>Dean booked it back to the bathroom door, banging on it insistently, "Cass open up! I'm right, you are pregnant! Sam thinks so too. You're not fat sweetie, it's all in one place, it couldn't possibly be fat."<p>

"You know I think you're beautiful, now can you come out? Please?"

Castiel paled, his emotions came to a crashing halt for a brief moment and his world seemed to shatter. _'I'm pregnant...'_ He looked down at the small bulge, his hand coming up and sliding over it as if that will make it any less real. "Oh god no..." He whispered, his mind running in circles. He was male in the eyes of everyone who admired him, human as well. He suddenly being pregnant would draw out more questions than he would like.

But the bigger problems he was having stemmed much deeper in him than he'd admit. He didn't want to be a father, he never did. Being a parent meant not having any time for himself, for Dean, or for his career. He was already labelled 'wife', what would stop Dean from dumping the unwanted responsibilities of 'mother' onto him as well? This child was going to ruin his life, and not just for a little while but forever. He wasn't ready to have a kid, he was still young! He had so much more potential in him, so much left to do that couldn't be done when tied down with a kid.

The dread of every baby-related moment fell on him in one heap, what could he do? Get rid of it? He couldn't be that far along yet, maybe aborting the thing was still an option.

Dean waits eagerly –if not impatiently, by the bathroom door. Castiel was taking agonizingly long. Dean shifted his weight to his right leg, "You know you don't need to hide from me when you feel scared. I mean, you _shouldn't_ hide from me." Dean wasn't taking Cass' drama quite as seriously; Dean expected smiles and excitement. Soon enough they'd be shopping for baby supplies.

Cass had slowly lifted himself from the floor and turned around; opening the door to reveal Dean's excited face. _'I can't...'_ He realizes dismally, _'He's so excited... He really wants to have a baby with me.'_ It dawns on Castiel in that moment that Dean's always wanted a family, a loving wife and child. Now that he was about to get everything he'd ever dreamed of for his future, Castiel couldn't very well take it away from him, could he? It would be cruel and worse, Dean would see it as an act of not loving him.

A smile is not what he received when that door opened. "Cass?" Dean questioned, unsure of what was really going on behind those unusually dark eyes. '_Maybe it hasn't quite sunk in..._' Dean stepped forward and picked Castiel up, pulling him from the doorway and spinning him around gently before pulling him into a warm hug. "Isn't this amazing? And to think, I gave up on miracles." Dean kissed Castiel fervently.

"I..." Cass wraps his arms around himself in hopes it would comfort him; it doesn't. "I... don't..." He couldn't say it, "I don't know what to say," he forces a light laugh to mask how he feels, "A baby..." He appears to be coddling the newfound life in him with his arms, though in truth he's thinking about pounding it until it's gone. Castiel, lead singer of _Pleasure My Angel_, vanishes out of the musical world because he's tied down with a baby. This was not how he wanted his band to end up, especially after they were doing so well! The fans were expecting PMA to come back soon, back into their performing gear and up on stage. Castiel could never step out looking this way, it wouldn't matter how well he could sing or how angelic he sounded if he looked pregnant on stage.

"Yeah, unbelievable right? We're going to be _parents_, Sam and Bella too. Our kids can play together, and have the benefit of twice the attention. You won't even have to work with the amount of money you've already made." Dean was beamingly happy; proud to be a father. He kissed Cass again, hoping the feeling would spread.

Dean's excitement is overwhelming and not a shared idea between the two of them. Castiel takes a deep breath and slowly exhales, trying to wrap his brain around this. Though he's distracted and scared out of his wits he returns the kisses, it's natural and the most comforting thing for him in this moment. Dean loves him, Dean still loves him and it'll be okay. Cass repeats this to himself; not bothering to think about what he actually needs to do to raise this child because he knows it'll stress him out. Yet at the same time he knows he'll have to think of it eventually, aborting this thing doesn't seem to be an option with Dean's unyielding happiness over it.

"What, uh..." he sniffles lightly, fighting back the tears that were forming, "What do we do now?"

Dean's eyebrow arched with suspicion, '_Were those... tears? Of joy, that's gotta be it_.' Although the fact that Castiel still wasn't smiling left the slightest impression that this wasn't joy. "We prepare a baby room, complete with all the essentials –whatever those are. We'll figure it out."

"Baby room, sounds like a good place to start." Cass' voice is shaky; he knows that if he doesn't smarten up Dean will know how he feels. The heartbroken expression on his husband's face would be too difficult to handle during this. Dean is ecstatic about having a baby, he's so happy that he'll be a father soon that Castiel can't bear to tell him that he doesn't want it. _'How can you tell someone you don't want to have their child? Someone you love, someone who loves you…'_

Dean reached down to Cass' stomach and rubbed it lovingly. He had _a child_ growing in there, a flesh and blood union of Dean and Castiel. There was new life forming inside his wife, and he'd soon be a father –he still didn't know what to do with the excitement rolling around inside. Dean dropped to the floor and placed an ear to Cass' stomach, unaware that he'd not hear or feel a thing for a while yet. He continued to rub little circles on Cass' baby bump, lifting his shirt to kiss the life-bearing swell. "I love you," Dean tickled the tummy and for once when Castiel heard those words from Dean mouth, they weren't direct at him.

Cass' heart sank, the realization that he'll have to share Dean's love sinking in. _'NO NO NO NO!'_ His mind shrieked, he was entirely unwilling to share that affection; he never wanted Dean to love anyone but him. It wasn't fair, why him? Why did he have to be a nephelim, fucked up DNA capable of getting impregnated.

Castiel bit his bottom lip, trying to stop it from quivering. Dean was knelt before him, cooing and expressing love before him, but not to him. Dean loved something that wasn't him. He sobbed lightly and knew he would have to come up with a reason why he did. "I'm scared…" he whimpered, his limbs shaking involuntarily. "I'm scared Dean," the tears pushed past his barrier again and fell, his face scrunching up to try and stop them. "What do I…" His voice broke apart and he dropped himself into Dean's arms, he had no idea what to say anymore, what to do or what to portray. His life was ending; he couldn't go out on stage again, not with a belly like he had. Dean loved someone other than him. His life would be consumed by this child, Dean said it perfectly 'he'd be stuck at home because he'd already made enough money to support that lifestyle'. It was a paraphrasing but that was the gist of it; Castiel was stuck.

Dean jumped to his feet, defensive and startled all in one. Seeing Castiel cry was on top of the list of things that made him feel worthless. He pulled Castiel in close and wrapped his arms around him in a tight hug. "Shh, shh, it's ok. I've got you," Dean slowly rocked Cass, rubbing circles on his lower back with one hand while the other gently tilted his head to rest against Dean. "There's nothing to be scared of, I'm here with you every step of the way, ok?" Comforting and reassurance came instinctively, but Dean didn't even know what about this scared Castiel the most.

Cass nodded slowly, his breathing settling now that Dean was holding him again. He wasn't scared, he was angry, but for some reason he couldn't bring himself to show it. It was comforting to know that Dean wouldn't laugh at him if he were scared, though.

"I thought you'd be happy," Dean murmured, realizing now that that was most definitely not the case. "This is a beautiful thing, Cass. We're lucky this happened at all, I mean, what are the chances that this would've worked if we'd actually tried for it? With our luck? Never would have happened." Dean continued to hold Cass, a sneaking suspicion and dread settling in the pit of his stomach.

"I'm sorry," he whispered into Dean, "I just don't know what to think at the moment." He leaned up and kissed his husband's cheek, "I'll be okay, don't worry." He was lying but with the option of telling Dean how he really felt unavailable at that time, he didn't have much choice.

"Hey," Dean leaned his head back to look into Cass' eyes, "I think you should name him." For Dean, the principle behind the notion was: if you name it, you'll get attached to it.

"That's assuming it is a him," Cass rested his chin on Dean's shoulder, a dull ache remaining in his chest. "But I'll think about it." In his opinion, naming the child this early on was a bad idea because it meant exactly what Dean was hoping for, he'd feel an attachment for it. Currently, he hated it. He wanted it gone. If he could avoid any and all attachment, he would.


	4. Chapter 4

Bella's eyes fluttered open, someone had been screaming. She'd have her fill of screaming in a few months, there was no need to start early. She pulled herself upright as Jo burst into the room.

"Sam just can't wait to tell everyone, huh? I couldn't even have been present for the announcement." Bella knew that she should be a bit bitter about that, but part of her swelled with joy. Sam wasn't mad about it after all, he was just as excited as she was, and couldn't wait to tell them that he was going to be a daddy. Bella beamed at the thought.

Jo bounced up and down on the bed, "Oh my god congratulations!" She squealed, "Sam's a mystery, as always but I'd bet he's super excited. After all, we know Sam and Sam doesn't talk about stuff he's mad or upset about." She winks at her bestie playfully.

"Thanks Jo," Bella smiled. Sam could be cryptic, but he wasn't entirely a mystery. Bella would never forget that sparkle in Sam's eye when he found out. It was only when his brain caught up and kicked it into high gear did he realize that he wasn't ready for this, but his original reaction was one of joy and pride.

"Oh! And guess what else! Sam said that since you and Cass were acting the same way he's guessing that Cass is preggers too!" Jo could barely contain her excitement, "Can you believe it? You and Cass pregnant at the same time! Your kids are gonna be cousins and they'll be the best of friends! Go to school together, grow up together! I'm so happy for you!"

Bella smiled, "Is he _really_?" Bella was happy for the prospects, but the idea of shallow Castiel being pregnant? That was almost laugh worthy. Bella couldn't help but allow herself a small giggle, "I can't believe he's pregnant. How did they swing that?"

Jo grinned, "He totally is. I have no idea how or anything like that, I guess Gabriel or Balthazar could explain it better than me." She tugged on Bella's arm, "Come on let's go downstairs, Sam told Dean about it and we may catch Cass' reaction." She hopped up from the bed and trotted to the door.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," Bella eased herself out of bed and to her feet. In the end she'd offer Castiel comfort and companionship, but before the end of it she'd share her share of pregnancy horror stories. She'd make him cry, but if anyone asked it was unintentional.

Exiting into the hall, Bella was pleased to encounter Dean and Cass, making their way downstairs to face the music. "Cass!" She exclaimed, evidently catching sight of him before Jo, who was probably downstairs by now. "Oh my, congratulations!" Bella rushed forward and hugged him briefly. "Just can't wait for the stretch marks, right?" She asked jokingly, with a slight glint in her eye.

Cass flinched, he hadn't even thought about those. He turned a tired gaze on her, attempting to find out what it was she was after. His conclusion; she was just being a bitch.

Dean tried not to laugh, "I think those are the least of his concerns."

Bella smirked, "Not as much as you seem to think." Looking back to Cass, "There are creams for that, and if you start applications nightly now, you'll probably be fine."

Castiel gave her a half-hearted smile though it turned into more of a sneer, "You're not funny," he snipped, "But thank you, that's a good idea." He moved to fly there himself but stopped abruptly; there was still no way he was going out like this. He turned his eyes on Dean pleadingly, "Could you get it for me?" he tugged gently on Dean's arm, a subtle pout on his lips.

Dean tilted his head to the side, accidentally mimicking one of Castiel's trademark expressions –he'd spent years with this man, three prior to his disappearance, almost another full year prior to the wedding (full of planning and running around) and almost another after that. After nearly five years of being together with this man, it was inevitable that he'd unconsciously pick up on some of his mannerisms, it was also these five successful years that made Dean so confident about their upcoming child.

"You could come with me," Dean coaxed, trying at every opportunity to get Cass out of the house. Once the words left his mouth he knew a snap-back was coming, something to the effect of 'why would I ask you if I was going to do it myself?' "Don't worry about it, I can make a run down to the drug store and pick some up for you, k? And I won't be cheap." Dean had spent years getting out of that blue-collar mentality of non branded items being better than the real deal because they were cheaper, Cass had given him hell for being a 'cheap bastard,' at the time it was actually quite funny.

Cass managed a normal smile, "Thank you." Dean had caught his own folly, Castiel figured he'd let him off the hook for that one.

Dean picked Castiel up and carried him down the stairs, something he enjoyed doing to prove to Cass that he wasn't too much to bear. Sitting him down at the table with the others, Dean gave him a quick kiss on the lips, "I love you."

"I love you too." He still felt a little sick, not just because of the nausea but there was a little remnant of Dean's 'I love you' to the thing growing inside him. Cass couldn't stand it.

"Sammy! I'm going to store, wanna come?"

Sam smiled, he was excited but the reserved side of him was telling him not to get too giddy. But then, how often is your wife pregnant with your first kid? "Hell yeah I do!" Sam bolted to the door, getting his shoes on. There was nothing like going to a supermarket to find something you had no idea about, especially when shopping with Dean.

**Author's Note:**

**A shorty but it'll tide you over for a little bit :) **


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note:**

**No worries, Cass gets better yet lol Don't go hating him now!**

* * *

><p>One morning Dean sat at the breakfast table in the early am, the only other odd ball up at such an early hour was Sam –the guy was <em>always<em> an early riser. Dean stared ahead in the darkened kitchen, coffee in hand as the sun thought about rising. "Sam, how are we going to do this?" Dean's expression was bleary-eyed and exhausted, but a near permanent smile had never left his features. He was tired, exhausted even, but always happy.

Sam, sipping his first coffee of the day, glanced up from the newspaper on the table in front of him. He always kept up with the news, sometimes the guys called it an OCD thing but he always saw it as more of a 'Sam' thing. "What'd you mean?"

"I mean, Cass is a handful right now. He doesn't believe me when I call him beautiful, says that 'I'm just saying that' and I don't really mean it. Then I try switching it up to 'I love you' because I do, but then it's only because 'I have to.' I don't think he's taking this very well."

Sam smirked, "Yeah Cass always has been like that, if you remember. As soon as you guys were going out it was basically he needed **all** of your attention or he was pissed with you. Just give him some more time, he's dealing with a big life change as are you, but he's just doing it differently. Cass will come around; he's too caring not to." Sam closed the paper and leaned back, "We're over half way through, just hang in there."

"But I love it, you know? The idea that I'm going to be a father? That somehow Cass and I pulled off a miracle, and he's harbouring my son in that little belly of his?" Dean knew that it wasn't just a little bump anymore, it was pretty significant. But he loved it, the feel of that swell on Cass' stomach, knowing what it held. Like a golden egg.

"I'm impressed," Sam grinned, "I always thought you were the 'am I gonna be a good dad' type to the point that you end up running away." He pat Dean's shoulder, "I wouldn't worry about Cass as much as you do, he's a tough little guy. You're excited about fatherhood and he's scared, that's it. As soon as that baby's in his arms he'll change his mind like that." Sam snapped his fingers for emphasis.

Dean huffed out a laugh, "Glad to know you have such faith in me, Sammy." Dean rubbed the back of his neck, something of a nervous habit. "And maybe you weren't entirely wrong, but Cass needs me, and I love him. I don't know how I'll be for my son... or daughter. But there's no way I could run from Cass. You remember what I was like when he was gone? How the hell could I live without out him?"

"I do remember, and I know for a fact that you'd probably die." Sam would rather not think about what it was like when Cass was missing, he thought he'd lost his brother back then but now? Well now it was okay, though he still didn't like remembering.

"Do you love all of it? I mean, Bella's pretty conniving as it is without the help of a hormonal imbalance. She's been difficult to deal with the past few months." Sam didn't want to rag on her but it was starting to wear him down.

"Even when he's sick in the mornings I love this, I'll sit with him and comfort him," Dean knew why too. He lived to protect and comfort, he'd die if he wasn't needed and right now Cass was terribly needy. Dean had already decided that he'd take care of that child more than Cass, he had at least nine months to make up for, and he _wanted_ to. "I'll help him out of bed; help him bathe, down the stairs and to breakfast –every step of the way." Dean looked at Sam, who seemed equally as tired and equally as endearing. "I'm going to miss it."

After a conniving moment of silence, Dean asked Sam a question that he shouldn't be asking, "Do you suppose it's possible to do it again?"

Sam laughed then leaned forward onto the table, "Dude I don't think Cass would be too happy to be put through this again. But hey, anything's possible. He can do it once, he can do it again." He scratched the back of head, "Though I think you should wait until you get a feel for the load the kid's gonna put on you. I mean, yeah you want to help Cass like this again but after the first one's born it won't be just you and him anymore."

"Yeah, you'd think that, but we're not normal people. Cass and I don't have to worry about daycare and working to pay bills and all that –not to mention the difference between one and two children isn't that bad. ...or was that the difference between two and three... Whatever, it won't be that bad." Dean knew that was off, how could having a kid be 'not that bad'? That didn't make any sense, even to him. This child would change everything, but the key was confidence, being prepared for the worst.

"Yeah, yeah. But all confidence aside, I really think you should wait out your kid's first year. Having a two year gap between them wouldn't be such a bad thing. Plus it'd give Cass a break." Sam sighed and ran his hand through his hair like he always did, "I'm personally hoping Bella lightens up after her ultrasound today." He glanced at Dean, "You should try and get Cass to go for one, or maybe get Balthazar or Gabriel to do it since Cass isn't leaving the house. It might cheer him up about the whole thing if he sees the baby."

"Hey, that's not a bad idea," Dean grinned, rubbing his jaw thoughtfully. "We could see it by now, right? I mean, I'm getting kind of worried –Cass hasn't even picked a name yet, hasn't even guessed at one. Maybe seeing him ...or her, will help him decide." Dean had a hard time swallowing the idea that his child may be a girl –how in the world would he raise one? Not to mention the stereotype of an old hillbilly on a porch with a shotgun, just like grandpa Campbell.

"Hasn't even picked a name yet? Wow, he's really distracted." Sam glanced out of the dining room, as if watching a train of thought. He was used to Castiel being so flamboyant and excitable; they all expected a reaction similar to when he found out about the wedding. But he wasn't happy about it at all, the last several months were incredibly out of character for him; Sam would have guessed he'd been switched again but Balthazar had assured him that wasn't the case.

"Thanks Sam," Dean rose from his chair and headed upstairs to his bedroom. "Cass?" Dean called, poking his head around the door to peer at the slumbering form in the light of the rising sun. Dean walked over to the bedside and sat down behind Cass, resting a hand on his shoulder, "Hey, I know you'd sleep past noon if I let you."

Cass twitched at the touch, blue eyes fluttering open, "Mmmm..." was all he bothered to say before rolling his face back into the warm pillows. He was bigger than ever and he was miserable, nothing could be as important as sleep at this point.

"Bella's going for her ultrasound today, and I thought that you might want to go too. Y'know, get a picture of our kid, find out if it's a boy or a girl. It'll be nice to get out of the house..." Dean was using his softest tone, trying his hardest not to crumple the tender subject –Cass was incredibly protective of his appearance, and was quickly becoming a house hermit.

"I told you this before, Dean." Cass rolled his head again, icy blue staring up at him, "I'm. Not. Leaving." He pulled the covers up over his shoulder and bunched it together under his chin, "I really don't to go out like this, okay? Please, don't ask me to." He tried to sound friendlier for that last part though a groggy voice is still a groggy voice. "I don't feel well." It was a great excuse because he seemed to have morning sickness every day; Dean would believe this, at least long enough for Cass to avoid getting the ultrasound.

Dean's head dropped as a sigh escaped his lips, '_Of course he won't go, and there's nothing I can do to make him go._' "Ok, I'm sorry I asked. I hope you feel better soon; I'll let you get more sleep. I'm going with my brother to see his kid, I'll be back later." Dean leaned down and kissed Cass on the cheek, "I love you, sleep tight." Dean knew he couldn't push the subject –Cass' grumpy 'no' was as close as Dean was ever going to get to dragging Cass out of the house.

Cass nuzzled into the kiss and back into his sheets, "Love you too." He opened his eyes drearily once Dean had left. How long could he keep doing this? "As long as I need to." He muttered to himself, scrunching up into as much of a ball as he could.

Descending down the stairs with the heavy footfalls of defeat, Dean called out to Sam once he hit the landing, "Sammy, Cass' staying home, so when are we going?"

Sam strode over to his brother, "Soon, I just woke her up." He glanced up the stairs, "Sorry about Cass, he'll come around." Sam knew there were only so many times he could say that until they realized how bad Cass was taking it. "Come on, let's get ready."


	6. Chapter 6

Despite all the reactions and all the supporting comments he received, Castiel was depressed and entirely against the idea of having this child. Dean was infatuated with it, he wanted to buy a ton of things for the baby, then he'd remember he doesn't know the gender and he couldn't get a lot of what he wanted. Lots of stuffed toys for a little girl with pink everywhere, or the common blue and cool little Tonka trucks for a boy. Castiel didn't care one way or another, he could stop this baby from coming and he couldn't tell Dean what he really thought of it.

Wishing it were dead was a good way to describe it, but Castiel could never say it out loud. No one would agree with him. Sam and Bella were overjoyed, Sam had gone off the deep-end just like Dean, or at least once he got over his fears of fatherhood. Cass didn't eve know if he'd been seen as a dad or a mom to this kid! Or what he should be called. _'I hate it I hate it I hate it…'_ He thought dismally, watching the growing lump get bigger by the day.

Castiel still hadn't named it, he didn't want to yet, still stuck on everything he was the first time he heard about it. Of course now he wasn't dealing with just a small little bump, a small imperfection on his otherwise flawless torso. No, now he was about 8 months pregnant and it showed. He had trouble getting up in the mornings, not just because he was so heavy and it was hard to move, but because he didn't see the point anymore. He couldn't leave the house, never would he go into public with this. He could barely get up when he sat down, and for the love of Christ everything pissed him off.

No one would do anything wrong and yet he'd still blow up on them; he was so frustrated with his situation that he didn't care about anyone else's.

This morning was no different; he didn't want to get up, not that he could. Cass groaned as he slid his overweight self to the edge of the bed and pulled up into a sitting position. He knew Dean didn't like waking up alone so he gave his hubby a shove on the shoulder. It wasn't particularly loving but it was far from hurtful. "I'm trying to get up." He muttered, his tone on the verge of annoyance even this early in the morning.

"Mmm," Dean mumbled, tossing the covers off and groggily pulling himself together. "I'm up, just hold on a sec." Dean rolled off the bed and stretched, "Hey, let me help you." He rounded the bed to Cass' side, never ceasing to marvel at his mate's stubbornness.

Cass always attempted to wriggle off the bed on his own, he accepted Dean's assistance though, he was getting to the point that it was almost impossible to do it alone. He wasn't sure what it was about being pregnant but he always had to pee, Cass left Dean by the bed and trudged to the bathroom. He guessed it had something to do with the pressure of the enormous weight on his bladder; yet another reason to hate this thing.

Dean carefully helped Castiel down the stairs, secretly petrified that he might fall. It didn't look easy for his small frame to bear all that extra weight, like he shouldn't physically be able to stand. Dean wondered if Castiel was angry with him for helping, like Dean was accidentally calling him useless while trying to be nothing but comforting.

Part of Castiel, his pride, was pissed that he couldn't do things on his own anymore. But the loving part, the part that cared for Dean, was actually shining through today. He turned toward Dean, his cheeks tinged pink as he was slightly embarrassed by his own lack of ability to get down the stairs alone, "Thank you," he smiled, a rare sight since the pregnancy. Once at the bottom of the stairs Castiel kissed Dean like they had on their wedding day, slow and deep. He missed the passion, despite the fact that he was so dismal as of late.

Castiel wandered over to the TV, most people were asleep at 8am, no one had to be up for anything, and therefore the couch was clear of inhabitants. Cass lowered into the soft cushions, knowing full well he'd regret it when trying to get up again.

With Castiel eased into the couch, Dean straightened out, "I'm going to make you some breakfast, ok? Just sit tight, and I'll be right back."

Cass nodded, "Thank you, again." He felt he light grumble in his tummy and knew he needed food, even if he looked like a bloated whale he was still hungry. "Can I have pancakes? I want pancakes." Cass was craving pancakes with whipped cream and strawberries, and if he didn't get it he would start murdering things.

With a click of the remote he turned on the entertainment box in front of him, the channel had been left on a music station and the first thing he saw was his face.

"Lead singer Castiel has vanished from the public eye and no one seems to know where he's gone. The fans remain restless, waiting for their angel to return to the stage or at least put out another album-" _Click._

Cass dropped the remote on the couch beside him and rubbed his face silently. The image on screen was an old one; he was captured on stage in a club, not for a gig but just for his own self-fulfilling pleasure. He remembered that night; he was having such a good time, singing and dancing; totally free. Now…

Castiel looked over the area he was sitting in and sighed heavily, extremely pregnant and motionless. He couldn't remember the last time he could _see_ his hips, let alone sway them with music.

"Dean!" He shouted, squirming to get up, tired of sitting still, "Dean help! I'm stuck in the couch." He groaned as he struggled some more.

There was a clattering of pans and utensils as Dean literally dropped everything he was doing and bolted to the living room. "Cass!" He ran to the couch, carefully lifting Cass from his self-made couch nook. "Cass, are you ok? What's wrong?" Dean's eyes were wide and full of worry, Cass screamed an awful lot lately, but never like that. He never screamed like he was dying inside, that the world was falling away and there was nothing that anyone could do to stop it. Oddly enough, Dean caught these inflections rather than the literal 'stuck in the couch' complaint.

Cass, slowly calming down now that he was out of the ensnaring couch, looked up at Dean with sad eyes, "I miss... I..." he didn't know how to say anything anymore, it seemed. "I miss everything!" he cried in frustration, "I'm so cooped up in this house I want to leave! I need to get out but I can't!" he looked down at his rounded belly with annoyance, "Not like this," he pouted and turned away, took a deep breath and looked back. "Sorry, I just... I'm just frustrated and over reacting again." He shook his head, "It's nothing."

Dean slowly rubbed Castiel's stomach, as if checking for damage from the freak out prior to his arrival. A smile cracked over his face when he should've appeared concerned. "Did you feel that?" That same excited tone evident in his voice.

In all 8 months Castiel hadn't felt a single thing from this child in him, he had started to entertain the idea that it was actually dead but it kept growing so that couldn't have been the case. Not a single movement in 8 months, and now... Now it kicked him, a sudden sensation as if the little one was telling him it was awake. An inward feeling, something moving and wiggling inside him, something he and Dean had made. Life was wriggling under a thin layer of skin, his child, flesh and blood made between the love of his life and himself.

It kicked again, a slight abnormal bulge protruded for an instant as its foot connected with the outer protective layer. Cass was speechless, this entire time, since discovering he was pregnant, he was vehemently against it. He was angry, hateful, and even murderous toward this child. But with every little twitch inside him he felt the coldness in his heart warm a little more.

Castiel's hands came up and gently rested on the swell of skin, sliding down to meet Dean's. Cass' eyes had started to sparkle again, no longer a distant and vacant void of anger. "Dean," He whispered, even his tone of voice had improved, a genuine, happy smile tugging the corners of his mouth upward. Tears fell down his cheeks, relief and love washing over him. "The baby's moving." He knew it was an obvious thing but he had nothing else he could say, he was at a loss for words.

Dean could hardly contain his excitement, he'd been the first (although that position was a tie) to feel his child move, he was present for the first kicks and he couldn't be happier. They were quickly coming up on the due date, a month less if not less and there hadn't been a single sign until now. Dean passed his hand over Cass' to hold it tight and grinned up at Cass, thrilled and overwhelmed. "Yeah, our baby's moving. And you thought I was bad for kicking you in the middle of the night." Dean knew that he wasn't –not anymore, but it was a good point. The little bugger would be a bundle of fun twisting in the womb for the next four weeks.

"This is amazing," Cass laughed lightly, "I can't believe it... we're parents... It's a..." he sniffled, after being so difficult for so long he didn't know what to do with the wave of happiness that was hitting him, "It's a miracle." He wrapped his arms around Dean, nuzzling his cheek affectionately. "I love you, so so much." His eyes were squeezed shut, a bright smiling unable to leave his face.

"I love you too Cass, more than anything." Dean kissed him again, warmth and joy evident in his actions. Cass was back, no longer shell shocked and it only took him 8 months. He was finally _happy_, finally onboard the parent train alongside Dean. Dean hugged Cass tightly, trying to convey all the reassurances possible in his protective hold.

After staying like that for a moment Castiel leaned back and stared into Dean's eyes, "I'm really sorry, baby." He whispered, regret catching up with him, "I was so horrible to you for the last few months," he looked down at his baby bump and shook his head, "To both of you. Can I tell you something? Something I need to get off my chest..."

Dean looked into Cass' eyes, curiosity running its course, "It's alright Cass, I enjoy taking care of you. You just make everything a bit more challenging, that's all. And you know you can tell me anything, so go ahead."

Cass took a breath, "There's something I didn't want to tell you before... Something I was hiding because I didn't want to hurt you. Just, when I tell you this please don't take it the wrong way, okay? It isn't true anymore; it's just how I was feeling before."

Dean nodded slowly, patiently waiting for Cass to work up the nerve to say whatever it was that had been plaguing him, "It's ok..."

"Okay..." Cass fidgeted, "I didn't want the baby, since I found out I wanted to get rid of it... but you were so happy that I couldn't. This whole time I've been thinking that my life is over, that I'll never get to be how I was before, ever again."

Cass rubbed his stomach lightly, "But now I... now I don't know what happened. I don't know how I could think those things, there's a baby in me." He laughed, "I'm going to be a father or mother or whatever, I'm moving forward in my relationship with you. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, why wouldn't I want to do everything?"

Cass kissed Dean again, "I'm sorry, for all of that, but I can't hide things from you, ever. I love you more than anything. And we're in this together now, I promise."

Dean looked shocked for a moment while he digested this new piece of information. He knew Cass had been unhappy about some things, he'd locked himself up in the house refusing to leave. But _hate_? All this time his husband had spent loathing their child, and probably himself. '_Did I force this on him?_' Dean couldn't help but wonder, '_He couldn't do what he wanted, with his own body, because I didn't realize just how unhappy he was_.'

"And you're really ok? I mean, it's too little too late for me to do anything... but you're happy now, right?" Dean knew Cass had apologized for it, that he'd just said that he was happy with it... maybe even overjoyed. "Right, in it together." Dean smiled, relieved. "I guess it's silly to be concerned about it when it's already over, huh? Did you maybe want to... I dunno, go out for breakfast?"

Castiel beamed, "Yes, I'm happy, and yes it's silly to be concerned." He took Dean's hand gingerly, "And I..." he nodded, determined, "I would love to go for breakfast."

Dean's face lit up, '_He's going outside!_' Months of lying around and seclusion couldn't have been good for Cass, and as much as Dean wanted to make Cass walk to breakfast for exercise, he knew that would be asking way too much. "Awesome," Dean leaned forward and kissed Cass gingerly, rewardingly. "Well then, let's get going." Before Dean could escort Cass out the door for breakfast, he needed to check a few details, "And what's the code for paparazzi? If we can't avoid them, I tell them off? Or do we say it's some top of the line medical procedure?"

Cass shrugged, "Medical procedure; that sounds like a good one." He nods, "I know I could use the exercise but," he shakes his head with a laugh, "I'm not doing too badly, there's a home gym with a treadmill, I think I deserve to ride in the Impala for once."

Castiel's first time out of the house in almost 5 months, part of him was incredibly excited; the other part was still overjoyed by the idea of having a baby. He struggled with the seatbelt, first thing. He managed to clip it shut though he was slightly concerned that it was squeezing the baby so he undid it.

Dean had watched the seatbelt decision nervously, and he was pretty sure seatbelts were bad for pregnant women. But with no seatbelt Cass would be in danger. Dean looked at the steering wheel, knowing full well he'd never landed the Impala in an accident, and that it would be ridiculous if he started today, all the same, Dean was determined to drive like grandma on Sunday if it kept Cass and their son safe.

Cass looked at Dean, his hands running over his belly, hoping for more kicks. "I thought of a name," he looked back at his bulge adoringly, "Tommy, I like that name." His eyes snapped back to Dean, "What do you think? Good?"

Dean nodded quickly, "It's beautiful." Smiling at Cass, Dean knew he would've been happy with almost any name as long as Cass had picked it himself, but he didn't need to tell Cass that. "And what if it's a girl?" Dean really dreaded the fact that it could be, he had nothing against women, but he remembered full well what Ellen and Jo were like, and Dean really didn't want to be another Ellen.

"I didn't really look before but I can check the gender while it's inside me, he's definitely a boy. Bella's too." Cass grinned.

"Hey, we already knew that Sam's kid is a guy... But you're certain? Tommy's a boy, for sure?" Dean grinned broadly, another fist-pump action accompanying a profound and drawn out 'yessss.'

"Yes I'm certain," Cass pat his shoulder, "Stop second guessing everything I say!" He added that last bit with a laugh, proving he was no longer in a bad mood.

"Let's go get some awesomely greasy diner breakfast. Eggs and sausage, here we come!"

**Author's Note****:**

**I'm kinda sad, I got like 3 reviews for the last chapter o_o Sad face indeed! I feel unloved -_-;; Is the story bad? Something I could fix maybe?**


	7. Chapter 7

"Dean, help," Cass moaned as he strained to get out of the low sitting car, not an easy task for him currently.

"Coming! Coming!" Dean jumped out of the driver's side and ran to Cass' aid, and as he did so he reflected on how little time was remaining before this was all over –just a few short weeks. "I've gotcha, Cass." Dean helped Cass out of the car with loving care; he knew that if he'd done nothing else right in his life he'd at least taken care of Cass with genuine love and concern through these difficult months.

"Thank you," Cass spoke those words truthfully for the first time in a few months. He could still hardly believe how he'd been acting.

People living in Lawrence already knew that Castiel, lead singer of PMA, had taken refuge there for quite a few years now. Many of them recognized him on sight upon his arrival, though shockingly he didn't care nearly as much as he thought he would. Easing himself in the booth, waving Dean off this time, Cass happily opened a menu. His smile hadn't left his face. "Waffles," he decided easily, closing the menu and placing it back where he'd found it.

Dean grinned, "With fresh fruits and whipped cream on top? I never would've guessed." He was teasing, but playfully. It had been months since Cass poked his cheery head out of his metaphorical shell. "You sure you don't want to sit at a table with chairs? Booths are comfy, but they don't slide backwards." It was genuine concern, not in the least bit bugging about possibly not fitting in the booth right.

Cass pouted at his belly but shook his head, for once not taking those words the wrong way. "No, the booth is big enough, I'm good." He smiled, "Thanks for the concern though."

"So I was thinking," Cass' tone was light and bouncy, "I wasn't all there for the shopping for Tommy's stuff and thinking about it now I'm pretty sure we'll need more infant-safe toys. What we've got is great but not until he's at least 2." Castiel was back on the wagon and repositioning himself at the front, taking charge of the special moments in their relationship, just as he'd done with the wedding planning.

Dean was smiling still, and he couldn't help the welling of tears just behind his eyes, the difference it made between Cass caring and loving to not giving a shit was phenomenal. Dean didn't care if he'd done all the toy shopping wrong, any of the supply shopping, the point was he'd done it –and now, Cass would finally fix it. "I love you," Dean fit into the conversation, despite Castiel's laundry list of his mistakes.

"Also, the room's a disaster." He'd left it all up to Dean to design the baby's room, he hadn't cared before now. "No offense, sweetie, I just don't think a bunch of random colour splashed about is a good idea for his bedroom. It's a great idea for a playroom, which I want to have made as soon as we get home. Sam and Bella's kid can share, of course. It'll be great! Stuffed toys, maybe a big train set when they're older-"

"Excuse me, Castiel?" A young girl stood nervously by their table, a pen and paper in her hand.

Cass looked up and smiled, knowing a fan when he sees them, "Yes, what can I do for you, sweetheart?"

She giggled a little and held out the small print out of Castiel as well as the pen, "Can I have your autograph?"

Cass couldn't wipe the smile off now, he was pretty sure it was permanent. "Of course," in seconds he'd written a nice little note and scrawled his name, something he'd perfected and never became rusty at. "There you go, tell your friends I'm still alive, okay? _Pleasure My Angel_ isn't broken up or anything, just..." he placed his hand on his stomach again, "I'm expecting."

The girl, apparently having overlooked the fact he was male, squeaked her congratulations and numerous other questions that the angel was more than happy to answer, though he did it quickly. This was his and Dean's breakfast and he didn't want to take away from that.

Dean was simply amazed at how well Cass had handled that, the prying eyes of fans that not only recognized him, but knew him through the grape vine in town. He didn't even bat an eye, he actually _bragged_ about it. '_Life would have been 100x easier if he'd fallen in love with this baby at the start_.'

"Sorry," Cass shrugged sheepishly, "I kinda forgot how people react to me out here."

Dean waved his hands dismissively, "Not at all. You're a pro, and you didn't even flinch. No blushing, no shying away, and no hiding. You just... went with it, _drew attention to him_. It was awesome, so really don't apologize. And they're not that bad, the fans I mean. Most of them know Dad and I, living in this same town and all. It's not like I'm always completely ignored."

"Right, of course," Cass stuck his tongue out, "I tend to forget this was your hometown." He looked around the diner, "Been a while..."

"I'm glad you're enjoying the attention, I was starting to think that the lack of spotlight was driving you insane." Dean laughed a bit, knowing full well what had been bugging Cass these past 8 months and some odd days, and it still bothered Dean to know that Cass had hated the child, but he named him, and seems to have turned around fully and completely. "I'm just can't wait."

"That probably wasn't helping!" Cass laughed, "But honestly I don't know what was wrong with me." He poked at salt on the table mindlessly, "I remember thinking my life was over, that nothing would be the same. I know that's silly but that's what I was thinking." He shook his head, "I'm sorry about all that. But I'm really excited too," he beamed again, watching for the waitress.

"Alright, but if there's _anything_ that is bothering you that severely, can you please talk to me about it? That's what I'm here for, I want to help you, and keep you happy. I love you Cass, and I'm not holding anything against you, but please just talk to me next time, K?" Dean took Cass' hand, holding the pale, slender digits in his own, strong mitt. "I love you."

"I promise," Cass squeezed Dean's hand with an ashamed smile, "I'll never do what I did again. If something like that comes up, I'll tell you exactly how I'm feeling, whether you'll like it or not." His eyes sparkle, "I love you too."

It didn't take long, a young woman took their orders and they had breakfast in record time. Moments after they dug in a van pulled up, someone from the local news hopped out, checked her hair and darted into the restaurant with a camera man right behind her.

Cass shook his head, "Here we go again."

**Author's Note****:**

**Wow, 'bitch and you shall receive' should be a motto at the end of every fic I write lol thanks for all the supportive reviews :D I know we were writing Cass as a bit of an assbutt but hey, a story needs some depth XD And also, thanks for sticking with us all the way through these sequels :) I appreciate it!**

**Also, it's gonna be a long one so buckle up ;)**


	8. Chapter 8

It was about three in the morning when Cass woke with a start. He felt a strong movement in his belly and then a striking pain. "Hah!" He squirmed in bed and managed to get out on his own, his knees hitting the floor hard, the wriggling inside him persisting and getting stronger. "Dean..." he whines breathlessly, "Dean wake up..." His voice is a whisper; he's winded from the sudden waking and struggling.

"DEAN!" When he put his mind to it, Castiel could do almost anything with his vocal chords, screaming at the top of his lungs was definitely one of those things.

Castiel's scream reached Dean's deepest consciousness straight through his deepest REM sleep. Bolting upright, alert and ready for a fight, Dean surveyed the room but couldn't see anyone. "Cass?"

"Dean wake up! I think..." he squeezed his eyes shut at another contraction, "Tommy's coming... Baby's coming Dean." Cass whimpered, shuddering against the bedside.

He was pleading for him, baby's coming. Dean spotted Cass off the side of the bed. "Cass, are you ok?" The words were heard, but the meaning was slowly sinking in: _'Baby's coming... Cass is giving birth...__now_.'

"Oh my GOD!" Dean ran out into the hall, screaming like a man possessed, trying to find Sam or Balthazar or _anybody_. "What do I do?" Dean darted back into the room and looked back at Cass, a now fairly wet and fairly pained individual. Panicking wasn't going to help, Dean knew, but he couldn't help it. "SAAAAAM! BABY!"

Cass watched his husband through a lens of pain, tears forming at the corners of his eyes, "Dean... Dean calm down. Gabriel or Balthazar can help."

"Right, right," Dean walked back to Cass' side, "We need to get you off the floor ...we don't have a doctor for this, do we? We never went to the hospital, what're we doing?" Dean laid Cass back onto the bed, "Ok ok ok! Balthazar or Gabriel, some angel mojo. Sam! Can you grab some towels?"

Sam, of course, was woken by the noise and stumbled out of his room; he wore nothing more than a pair of loose pyjama pants that hang off his hips. "Baby? Towels?" he asked, his eyes widened in a fear he'd been feeling every night before bed, thinking Bella would do this very thing. "Baby's coming! Oh shit!" He half turned back into the room then quickly turned back, also appearing unsure as to what to do. Normally Sam was very together, very organized. However, after being woken up at 3am and having the bewildering word 'baby' tossed at him in a groggy state of mind he wasn't the most coherent of people. "Hospital or... he doesn't have the right parts... I didn't even think of that!" Sam's eyes turned back to Dean as if suddenly turning the tables and Sam was asking the question, "Balthazar or Gabriel maybe?"

Cass cried out again, gripping the sheets tight in his clenched fists, "Dean hurry!"

"Oh my god! Ok! I'm hurrying!" Dean ran for the door and stopped, coming back and kissing Cass quickly on the cheek, "It's gonna be ok, I'll be right back." Running out the door and across the house, Dean came up on their neighbours' portion of the house with the intention of rushing the door, only to find it opening on its own.

"What the hell is going on over there?" Gabriel frowned, wearing an open house coat and striped boxers.

Dean cocked an eyebrow, "You could hear that from here?"

"I wasn't sleeping yet," Gabriel stretched and scratched his bare stomach. "So, baby huh?"

"I don't have time for casual talk!" Dean huffed and grabbed Gabriel by the arm, "We need your help, Cass can't deliver this kid on his own."

"What, you watch Dr. Sexy M.D., why don't you deliver it?" Gabriel stumbled behind Dean, not really putting up much resistance.

"Not funny."

"I thought it was."

"Are you going to help or not?" Dean turned an uneasy eye on Gabriel, not really concerned with the other man's commitment but more freaked out that the baby was on its way.

"We're already here, aren't we?"

Dean looked around the bedroom, "Don't freaking do that." His hand went up to his stomach, still not liking the angel teleportation methods; they always left him feeling a bit queasy.

"It's alright Cass," Gabriel walked to the foot of the bed, in front of Cass, "this'll all be over in a minute." Gabriel turned back toward Dean, "Go hold his hand, you nincompoop."

"Right," Dean darted to Cass' side, pulling Cass' hand into his own. "I'm right here; we're going to get you through this."

Cass was sweating, little beads slipping down his forehead and cheeks, "Dean..." He whispered, "It hurts..." His grip tightened to an unyielding strength, Dean and Gabriel both apparently forgetting that Castiel was very strong.

Gabriel pulled a knife –caesarean seemed like the only option, and with an instant-heal angel trick, the consequences would be minimal. Anaesthetic never quite occurred to him. Gabriel made the first incision, feeling a twinge of disgust in his stomach for cutting open a friend, and quickly got to work carving out the newborn.

The first incision pulled a long and agonized scream from Castiel, his head snapping back in the softness of his pillows. Gabriel's help was appreciated though Cass would have preferred it if a painkiller had been used. He grit his teeth, he'd survived the deep cut from the angel blade, escaping with a scar across his chest; he could handle this.

Dean's eyes screwed shut almost instantly, and he could offer no grip in reply. Behind his eyes he was seeing white through flashed of excruciating pain, '_Being here for Cass is important, physical presence is good, but _**god**_ does this hurt!_' Dean bit his bottom lip in an attempt not to cry out in pain alongside his lover. Dean peered his eyes open through the pain, only to see Cass' stomach being sliced apart –the sight nearly made him sick to his stomach with dread. What if the baby was hurt? What if Cass didn't survive the blood loss? The sight alone –of seeing Cass helpless and in pain, bleeding out at someone else's hands –made Dean feel like he'd somehow failed.

The process was undeniably painful, for both Castiel and Dean. However, after the gruesome experience ended, a high pitched cry broke the night. Healed by angelic magic, Castiel tuned into the sound of his son's crying. It was the most beautiful thing he'd heard in a long time, tears fell from his eyes as he listened to it.

The sound of an infant crying –no, _his child_ –crying through his first breaths of free air was the most liberating sound Dean had heard in months. Tommy's voice gave Dean strength immeasurable, like he could take on the world, like he could do anything. Looking down at the fleeting expression on Castiel's soft features told Dean that Cass felt similarly. Dean pulled his hand from Castiel's loosened grip and brushed away the stray tears falling from his eyes.

"So..." Gabriel snapped the baby to clean with no extra work required, "Here you go." He extended the now towel bundled new born to Dean.

Dean's eyes lit up at the sight of Tommy, so small and fragile –in need of love and protection. This was the first time Dean could carry Tommy's weight himself, hold him close to his chest and coddle him. Dean eagerly took Tommy from Gabriel's outstretched hand, like the honour of taking up the Olympic torch and all the responsibility that came with it.

Although not a musician, Dean had been around the stuff and the people long enough to pick up a musical streak, and the new life in his arms inspired him to sing to his newborn son.

_If I had just one wish  
>Only one demand<br>I hope he's not like me  
>I hope he understands<br>That he can take this life  
>And hold it by the hand<br>And he can greet the world  
>With arms wide open...<em>

With arms wide open  
>Under the sunlight<br>Welcome to this place  
>I'll show you everything<br>With arms wide open  
>Now everything has changed<br>I'll show you love  
>I'll show you everything<br>With arms wide open  
>With arms wide open<p>

It was a song written and performed by Creed, and Dean never bothered to look up the meaning behind it, but the melody and key were perfect for his range, and if Dean had learned anything from Cass in these past few years it was just how much expression and release music provided. Dean caught sight of Cass' lidded eyes fluttering with faint awareness, "Hey Tommy, mommy's waking up. You want to meet him?"

Castiel was exhausted, he'd passed out for a moment but when he opened his eyes again Dean was the first person he saw. In Dean's arms was a small bundle and suddenly Castiel was overjoyed. "How is he?" He asked excitedly, slowly lifting himself up, finding that his body was much smaller and easier to move. "Is Tommy okay?" He couldn't hear the crying anymore, guessing Dean had calmed him.

Dean smiled at Cass, "Yeah, he's better than ok." Dean made a mental note to thank Gabriel for the quick make-over he gave Cass –patching up the incision and sucking away the excess skin from pregnancy. Not that he was being shallow or anything, but it would've been a lot of bitching and complaining, despite the new joy in their lives. Dean realized with slight dread that he wasn't in the clear yet –the baby blues were going to hit soon, and hard.

"Let me hold him," Cass whispered, his arms reaching up for his little boy.

"What, aren't you tired of holding him?" Dean joked, while moving to pass Tommy on to Cass, though not without hesitating. "I am going to get him back, right? Just jokes, here you go." Dean smiled broadly as Cass took Tommy lovingly into his arms.

"Of course you'll get him back, silly." With Tommy cradled against him, Castiel stared down into beautiful blue eyes reminiscent of his own. "Oh my..." Cass' voice is hushed, unable to form the words to describe what he sees. "Hey there, sweetie..." Cass' fingers trace the soft, pudgy skin of the gorgeous child's cheek. Three quarters human, one quarter angel. Castiel didn't know if that meant the boy would have any abilities at all, but he was pretty sure it wouldn't matter too much.

Tommy was so small, so fragile, and yet so empowering. Cass closed his eyes and kissed the small forehead gently, "I love you."

* * *

><p>Days after Tommy joined their lives Sam was rushing about in a similar way that Dean had; Bella was in labour. The difference between the brothers' experiences was that Sam had to take Bella to the hospital.<p>

"Oh _**GOD**_ this hurts!" Bella screamed through short, heavy huffs of air. She shot Sam a glare, "And don't you _**dare**_ tell me to keep calm, or- _**Christ!**_" Bella took several more short breaths before continuing her empty threat, "Or tell me to breathe!" Bella's hand clenched Sam's giant mitt tightly, nails digging into flesh where they could. She was grateful for Sam, for everything he'd done to help her with her demons and protect her from her nightmares. She was proud to bear his child –but she still couldn't help old defence mechanisms. Pain called for anger in response, that was simply survival, and by now Sam knew her well enough to see right through it.

Sam only smiled; he was very supportive majority of the time. However in this moment, Bella snapping at him repeatedly, he almost laughed. She didn't want him to tell her to keep calm; he wasn't even going to. She had gone behind his back to get pregnant, not even asking him about it. This was something she did to herself without his knowledge and now she was commanding him like it was his fault or something. He found it funny.

"You'll be fine, Bella. You're the toughest girl I've ever seen, if my mom could do it twice you can do this." Sam spoke reassuringly but not to the point she'd get mad at him again.

There were a great many things in this world that Dean Winchester would do for his baby brother, taking his place right at this moment was not one of them. Dean had gone with for support, as well as to have a doctor give Tommy a health check as how there was no medical professional present at Tommy's birth a few weeks back. "Hang in there Sammy," Dean coached his kid brother from outside the delivery room, holding Cass' hand and witnessing the birth of his first nephew.

Cass squeezed Dean's hand as Sam only waved them off; apparently the taller Winchester had this under control. "He sure is cool about this," Cass smirked, "Not at all like you running around the house like a maniac." He elbowed his husband lovingly.

Bella was grateful when it was all over, her body relaxing muscles she never knew she could relax. She was determined to be awake when her son was brought into the room, determined not to nod off into blissful sleep, despite how very welcoming it was.

Sam loosened his grip on her hand, a new light in his eyes. The nurse returned with a crying infant, a little boy all cleaned up and finally breathing the air around him. Sam didn't have to say a word; he took the bundle into his arms and moved to Bella's side. He lightly kissed her forehead and nestled the infant in her arms, "We discussed some names before and couldn't decide; well looking at him I'd say he's a Charlie."

"Sam?" Bella's eyes began to water, "He's beautiful." Her remark was sincere, and intended to carry the tone of joy and excitement, but what came out was a choked sob. "How could anyone want to hurt something so helpless? So innocent."

Dean's eyebrow shot up, '_There definitely something more to this story_.' Turning to Cass, "I think we should go."

Castiel's eyes widened, "What does she mean by that?" He looked up at Dean, concern running its course through him as they started away from Sam and Bella.

Sam squeezed her shoulder supportively, his eyes betraying none of the anger he felt at hearing those words. If he could find those people, the ones who could give her thoughts like that, he'd kill them. "People don't hurt infants or children, monsters do." He kissed her cheek, "And I don't know any so you have nothing to worry about."

Bella tried to fight the tears, with little chance of succeeding. "Thank you, Sam," she appreciated his defensiveness, his desire to keep her safe and undo past wrongs. "I'm scared, Sam. What if I'm like them? What if I make a terrible mother?" She looked up at him, her eyes shiny and red from crying.

Sam kissed the top of her head gingerly, smiling down at her. "Don't be silly, Bella. You're assuming you're anything like them now. Also, I'd have to be retarded and blind to not see it coming. Everything will be fine, you'll see."

* * *

><p>Castiel's eyes flashed open when a loud cry shattered the silence in the room. They had placed Tommy's crib in their bedroom, he was a newborn and their first child, they wanted him close. Now, of course, Castiel understood why baby monitors had been invented. It was so early in the morning and Tommy was crying, again. Cass groaned and hefted his tired frame out of bed, "I've got him," He whispered to Dean, trudging to the crib's side.<p>

"Ahn," Dean grunted incoherently, in attempts to communicate too many things at once: 'Good,' 'Thank God,' 'Ok,' and of course the correct answer of 'thank you.' The beauty of incoherence was that Cass could take it however he wanted, and while he usually thought well of Dean's intentions, he probably took it as a thank you. Dean summed his part up as finished, resigning to get the next one, and dropped back into a deep sleep.

"Heya Tommy," Cass lifted the little form up and into his arms, rocking Tommy gently, "Shh shh, baby. It's okay, I'm here, I've got you."

It'd been about a month since Tommy was born; Castiel couldn't remember when the last time was that he'd gone to a club or even stepped onto a stage. But that was okay. He had his family, everything was perfect.

"If you'd just stop crying for three hours." He muttered playfully, his baby quieting, lulled back to sleep. Apparently Tommy had just been lonely, wanted his mommy or daddy. "There you go." He whispered, placing the infant back into his crib. Cass lingered there for a moment, smiling. He couldn't believe it had already been a month.

Cass crawled back into bed, snuggling close to Dean. The world was slipping away into quiet slumber when he heard Charlie cry out from down the hall. "Mmm..." A chain reaction, Tommy was awake again.


	9. Chapter 9

Bella groaned in annoyance, pure and unadulterated annoyance, at the sounds of two toddlers running through the renowned phase of 'the terrible twos.' "Sam, can you make it stop? _Please!_"

Dean laughed, grateful that he had an unexpectedly high tolerance for screaming children when one of them was his. With the lifestyle and career that Cass had, the two toddlers had one favourite pastime: karaoke. They had portable fisher toys of boom-boxes and microphones that played the same five songs in repeat. When they grew bored with the low-grade toys, they'd started singing solo –in awful, child-babble language. Apparently people only found this cute for about five minutes before becoming severely underwhelmed, Dean thought it was hilarious.

Sam shrugged, "Not much I can do about it, Bella." He smirked, trying hard not to appear as though he were on Dean's side with this whole thing and keep his laughter at bay. However the sight of Charlie happily weaving through the rooms, chasing after his surprisingly quick friend, while wearing a little red cape couldn't bring any form of annoyance into him.

Castiel had survived the 'baby blues' stage of his life with a surprising amount of grace. He was now a pro at taking a deep breath and wiping away the anger and depression that a messy little kid induced in him. Even though Cass had become the domestic 'clean the house' type person, he still loved to dance. However the closest he got the dancing was karaoke with the boys, and that could hardly count as dancing. _'I can't even really show them any of my moves until they're older,'_ he thought dismally, _'I'm a little too... provocative I think.'_

Dean looked over at Sam, "Didja ever notice that it's always Charlie chasing Tommy and not the other way around? It's like a game of tag, only Tommy's only ever 'it' for a few seconds before pegging Charlie again and running off." Dean chuckled as he took another swig of coffee –the lifeblood of parents. "Dude, your kid's a tool."

Sam furrowed his brow, not wanting to get into an argument with his brother over their kids but he felt one coming on anyway. "Hey, at least I know what Charlie's gonna be like when he's older. Obviously he wants a friend so he'll do what it takes to keep Tommy interested. Your kid's pretty A.D.D."

"Yeah? Cass is too so I'm not that surprised," Dean laughed. He could tell when Sam wanted out of a fight, but just had too much pride to back off. It was his duty as an older brother to notice these things –whether he chose to acknowledge or ignore was up to him. Mocking Cass seemed like a good out at the time.

"Watch it," Cass warned playfully.

Dean wasn't entirely sure which Winchester was being scolded –likely both. "Sorry."

Cass didn't look back at Dean though he was pretty sure Dean was joking. After the pregnancy and baby blues, Castiel learned not to take everything personally, that jokes were allowed as long as they honestly meant no harm. They were in a setting for that kind of talk so he let it slide, no point in getting pissy over a silly comment like being 'A.D.D.'.

"I like the noise," Jo smiled, "Reminds me of simpler times."

"Simpler times?" Chuck balked, "Like, what? Highschool? Or maybe we should all put on little red capes." Chuck didn't know how to make that funny, but he'd be damned if he didn't get any lines in this sequel.

"No," Jo glared at the scuzzy 'writer' in their midst, "Like when we had that sleepover when we all first met. It was so noisy, everyone doing their own thing most of the time and the sound clashed with everything else. It was simpler back then, that's all I'm saying."

Cass shrugged, "I kinda like how it is now, though maybe that's 'cause I'm married with kids." He elbowed Jo on his way past, a wide accusing grin on his face.

Dean frowned, "What, you prefer noisy kids to steamy sex? Damn, we are getting old." Personally, Dean kind of missed Cass' overhyped sex drive –and 'kind of' was a severe understatement.

Cass' brow furrowed slightly, Dean was targeting him because of something. _'Maybe I'm not active enough...'_ Cass took a mental picture of himself and how he'd been lately; Dean was used to a sexed up and lively husband. Cass hadn't been that in the last two years, almost three; he also hadn't been on stage in that long. There was a pattern here.

"Hey shut up," Jo pouted, "Gabriel's tough to tie down, okay?"

"I believe it." Cass mused, "So you like kids playing loudly? The useless noise that doesn't have any rhyme or reason to it?"

Anna, sitting next to Bella with a magazine propped up in her hands, lifted her gaze from the colourful pages, "Are you insane? It's awful. I'm never having kids."

"What? Never?" Balthazar nagged, tossing a crunched up piece of paper Anna's way. "I think it would be fun. I'd love to see you play at being a mother."

Adam snorted into his drink, "Play at? As in, you don't think she'd make a good mother?"

"Not at all, she'd get frustrated and give up," Balthazar shrugged in defeat, resigned to being childish while secretly hoping Anna would take the unspoken challenge.

Anna nodded, "I'd be a terrible mother." She chose to ignore Balthazar's push, if he wanted a family like the Winchester's had so badly then he should come and outright ask her. She didn't go for the quiet, mousy guys; something Adam and Chuck learned immediately upon meeting her.

Balthazar cringed; he knew a failure when he saw one. "I don't think you'd be a _terrible_ mother, per se." The least he could do is return the situation to neutral, this sort of topic could only really be continued in private.

She looked back at the article and sighed, ignoring Balthazar. "Cass, when can we get out there again? You know, small tour or something? It's not like we're gone for more than one night a week or anything."

Cass' heart skipped several beats; he wanted to shout 'yes' at the top of his lungs and run to Balthazar to plan it. Of course, he knew better than that. "I'll have to discuss it with Dean before really saying anything about it." He smiled at his husband, "Kind of a group decision, anyway."

Dean knew full well that Cass wanted to get back out there, to do something –_anything_. He'd always had a problem being cooped up. Dean pretended not to notice Cass' excitement, "Well, that just gives me more time with Tommy. I'll be his favourite in no time," Dean grinned, tauntingly. Secretly, they were both afraid that Tommy would love the other more, but the rational mind was usually pretty good at dispelling such silly thoughts –usually.

Cass stuck his tongue out at Dean, still hiding the fact that he really wanted to go. "Whatever, he'll figure out I'm more fun in no time. At least I dance with them." He looked back at the counter where he was cutting onions for a soup, a sinking feeling in his chest bothering him. He made a mental note to talk to Dean about this seriously later; he didn't want to hold it in for long.

"C'mon, if I danced with them I'd step on them. That wouldn't end well, and besides –you know I don't dance." '_Like it's a freakin' crime not to dance around here._' Dean couldn't help but notice a slightly defensive tone rising in Castiel's voice, and couldn't help but start to think that he'd done something wrong –again. When a man said he wasn't perfect, he was an honest man. When Dean Winchester said he wasn't perfect, he was referring to those ignorant moments of severe fucking himself over.

Castiel sighed and tossed several chopped ingredients into the pot of soup, "Yeah I know... I haven't really danced in a long time either." Dancing with the kids didn't count and everyone knew it, not for Castiel. He couldn't get high on life like he used to, he still needed to find a new way to reach that part of him without performing.

Sam frowned when he heard several creaks from above him, "They're jumping on the bed again. I'll be right back,"

"Heh heh heh," Dean never cracked the whip on the boys, not really. He put on the scary father front only when the others asked. Sam was a stickler for the rules, and had most of the disciplining down pat, Bella too. Dean was fairly certain that the kids would find him to be the 'fun dad' when they were older, and he couldn't wait for the time to tick by –life was good.

Sam trotted up the stairs and peered in at the boys but only found Tommy bouncing up and down; apparently Charlie had heard him the first time. "Tommy," Sam warned.

The blue eyed boy stopped jumping, landing on his butt and stared sheepishly at the door, "Yeah?"

"What'd I tell you?"

"Daddy said it was okay..." Tommy pouted, his hand scratching his not-really-itchy scalp through shiny black hair.

"Did he?" Sam narrowed his eyes, crossing his arms over a very broad chest.

Tommy bit his lip then lowered his gaze to the floor, "No..." He admitted.

"You want me to tell him you're lying to me?"

"No." Tommy's head snapped up again, big blue eyes now filled with a fear of his dad.

Sam smiled, "Then don't do it again."

Tommy nodded and hopped off the bed, poking Charlie's shoulder and quickly manoeuvring his short legs to book it out of the room. "You're it!"

"Again!" Charlie squeaked, but soon gave chase, tottering after his much quicker cousin.

Sam shook his head, he knew that Castiel was a nephelim but he had no idea that would mean his son would learn English quicker than normal kids. Sure, at two normal kids could sing and talk like the boys did, but Tommy had a better grasp of it. He could put a sentence together properly; most of the time anyway. However Sam was pretty sure that didn't mean Tommy was smarter, he hoped so anyway. It was unspoken between them but the Winchester brothers had a competition going on and it involved their kids. If Charlie wasn't as smart as Tommy by the time junior high rolled around Sam would be pretty embarrassed, he was smarter than Dean so he expected the same out of his kid.

Castiel watched Tommy race into the kitchen, giggling like the little fire cracker he was, "Slow down buddy, you'll hurt yourself." He warned calmly, watching the boy attempt to escape Charlie. It wouldn't take a genius to know that Charlie would be taller someday, Sam was a giant among men while Dean and Cass were both average height. With any luck for Tommy, Charlie might end up with Bella's genes and be shorter; but when did someone with Cass or Dean's genetics ever get lucky?

A loud crash in the living room echoed quickly followed by Tommy crying. Anna closed her eyes and lowered her head, "That was my decorative vase from China, wasn't it?"

"Yep." Cass looked at Dean, not too worried because he'd expected the thing to break a while back already. Cass had lifted the vase several times; it was very light and posed no threat to the kids, possibly a small cut or bruise but nothing major. "This one's yours, babe." He grinned at his husband then went back to preparing lunch.

Dean looked over at Cass, "Oh, and you keep track of these things? I'll take your word for it, but you better not be lying to me."

Castiel frowned and looked over his shoulder, "Not sure I like your tone, mister." He couldn't tell if Dean was pissed or playing around.

Dean pushed back on his chair before lazily walking over to the living room. "What tone? I don't have a tone!" Dean called back over his shoulder, trying to sound playful. Things were getting tense, and the break to get the kids was probably well timed.

Cass opened his mouth to argue but stopped, shaking his head. Talking about this later would probably be best; instead of arguing it out now and blowing up over it.

"Alright, who broke it." Dean knew what was coming; both kids would simultaneously point at the other in hopes of escaping retribution.

And both toddlers pointed at each other.

'_I thought kids couldn't lie,_' Dean scratched his head for a moment before putting on his 'I-can-see-right-through-you' face. "Really?" He asked, his voice thick with disbelief.

"You know, nothing good happens to liars. You kids don't want to be labelled liars, do you?"

Tommy wiped his eyes and shook his head, no. Though neither of them wanted to be in trouble so they still didn't speak up.

Bella looked over at Sam, "You know your brother's going to scare the hell out of them, right?" Her face was etched with disapproval.

Sam shrugged, "I did the same thing when I told them to stop jumping on the bed." He walked over and looked into the living room, part of him wanting to join in so he did. "Tommy," his tone was stern, matching earlier.

Dean couldn't help the grin on his face –the punisher had arrived. Whether by choice or by Bella's command, Sam always ended up the 'bad guy.' He'd put the scare into them, and Dean could smooth over the consequences, keeping a clean record of being the 'fun dad.' To an extent, anyway.

Tommy sniffled, looking back and forth between Dean and Sam. He was in trouble, he knew that. It didn't matter if they both did it or one of them did it, Sam caught him lying minutes before and now bad things were happening. "I don't know who," he admitted, "I didn't see."

Sam glanced at Dean, an 'I believe that' look on his face.

"You're sure?"

Tommy nodded again, looking over at Charlie for some back up.

Charlie stared at Tommy for a moment, and looked back up at his dad and uncle Dean, "I did it." He sniffled.

Dean arched an eyebrow, not entirely sure he believed this one. "At what age to Winchester's learn to take a fall for each other! Christ almighty." Dean looked at Sam, truly unsure of who actually broke the damn thing.

Sam rolled his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, "I don't know, Dean. I just don't know." He looked down at Charlie and smiled.

"I'm sorry."

"Alright then," Sam picked Charlie up, "No more running in the house, okay?" he poked Charlie's nose and headed toward the kitchen, "Lunch is almost done, let's get some food in you."

"Yay food! No more running, promise." Charlie beamed, happily off the hook.

Sam tickled his belly on his way out of the room, glad he was father.

Tommy stood up and held onto Dean's pant-leg nervously, "Are you mad, daddy? Is mommy mad?"

The utter fear in his child's voice nearly broke open his chest. Dean squatted down by Tommy, rubbing a strong hand over his head and mussing up his smooth black hair, "No one's mad Tommy. Mommy and I don't get mad when you do bad things, we get sad." Child manipulation was one of Dean's unknown fortes. "You don't like making mommy and daddy sad, do you?"

Tommy shook his head, no. He wanted to ask about the way they acted around one another lately, something he was unusually perceptive about. But he decided against it, not wanting to invoke any wrath upon himself.

"The next time you want to run around like that, you kids should play in the backyard. There's plenty to do out there and nothing to break. Well, almost nothing." Dean picked Tommy up, flying him over his head like an airplane. "Are you hungry? Do you want some lunch? Let's go!"

Tommy squealed when Dean's large hands hefted him into the air, giggles erupting from his small form as he spread out his arms and legs to assume 'airplane position'.

Complete with airplane noises, Dean transported airline Tommy to the kitchen and his booster seat.

Sam raised an eyebrow, Dean was terrified of flying and yet here he was playing airplane with his son. Sam shrugged, _'People grow up, even Dean I guess.'_

**Author's Note****:**

**Thanks for still reviewing guys! I'm putting up the next one already, figure it's a good idea since we've written so much already XD Anywho here it is, hope you enjoy it. I was gonna say something else but I can't remember for the life of me... What was it? Hmmm... Oh well**


	10. Chapter 10

After Cass had insisted on putting Tommy to bed –a right Dean didn't dare fight him for, Dean retired to the master bedroom. Most of the rooms were built equal, but the house was Cass' idea, with band proceeds, so Dean and Cass had received the master bedroom, much to Sam's dismay. After a quick shower, Dean decided that completely naked would be the way to go –make up sex was on the horizon if he could figure out what went wrong at lunch.

Castiel sighed lightly as he closed the bedroom door, he'd put Tommy in bed moments ago; read the bedtime story, turned on the night-light, and checked all the necessary locations for monsters. He was surprisingly tired after a long day of doing jack-all.

Cass shed the excess clothing from his back, changing into a soft pair of pyjama pants. Before kids he would sleep naked, after? Well after he learned that you can't run to your kid's bedroom if there's a crisis quick enough if you have to throw on pants.

Dean looked dismayed by the fluffy pj bottoms –a sure sign of 'none for you.' Dean knew that wasn't the real reason, but he felt like something bad was coming up, and suddenly felt oddly self-conscious about his own choice for bedwear.

"Dean..." He breathed his lover's name as he slipped under the covers, eyelids feeling heavier than they should.

Dean's breathe caught in his throat; this was it, his final mistake. Cass sounded so tired, and so failed to mask how hurt he was.

"Are you angry at me for thinking about the band again?" Cass wasn't sure where to start so he figured there was a good place. "I couldn't help but notice your sudden change in attitude this afternoon..." blue eyes shift to stare at him, curious and uncertain.

The heaviest sigh of relief Dean had ever breathed escaped his lips and he let out a light laugh, "Is that what this is about?"

Cass nodded, it was one of the problems but he figured he could get through this one first.

Dean shuffled to look at Cass better, "Babe, you can do whatever you want. If the band makes you happy, then go for it." That wasn't to insinuate that Dean didn't make Cass happy, but the implication remained unspoken.

"You really mean that?" Cass smiled, feeling a little lighter. He thought for sure Dean would pout and whine at him about it, maybe that was just an annoyed image he'd created out of spite.

"You know I'd support you in anything, right? You want to get out there and perform? Then go, live it up. I don't want to be at fault for locking you up away from the world."

Cass wrapped his arms around Dean and nuzzled his cheek happily, "You know that doesn't mean you can't come, or have fun too." He looked up at Dean, blue eyes still slightly concerned. He didn't want to be the one enjoying life while the other resented him for it; Castiel remaining in the band seemed to put a constant stressor on things.

"And bring our kid to a deafening concert with pot in the air and a bunch of drugged up teenagers running around? No thank you, rock concerts aren't for two-year-olds. And I just know you don't want a toddler in the studio." Dean didn't mind if Cass didn't, he liked taking care of Tommy, being there for him, teaching him new things and watching him grow. Dean was content with his family, and strove for nothing else. That was part of what made it so hard to understand why Cass couldn't feel the same, why was it Cass needed more than this?

"I meant 'get a babysitter for one night', I don't think concerts are for kids, I'm not an idiot." Cass stopped himself before continuing; knowing that the tone he was taking would get him nowhere. Cass couldn't understand why Dean didn't understand, what was so hard to get? Castiel liked to do things, get out of the house once in a while, was that so wrong of him?

"...But, you want me to be there. That's it, isn't it? Like in the beginning, when I didn't care that I hated the music, and I just went to watch you." Dean looked at Cass, trying to tell from his expression whether he was right or wrong. "But we can't just ditch Tommy, and Sam and Bella are huge fans so they'll want to see your show. And I don't trust babysitters –hell, I barely trust Balthazar, and he lives in the same damn house."

Cass sighed, there went that idea. "Well if you don't want to see me that's fine but what's wrong with babysitters? There's Jo, Chuck, Adam, your parents, Gabriel, and Anna; all people that aren't Balthazar. And I'm not just saying this so I can go out; I'm saying this because _we_ need to go out. I want you to take me on dates, go for a romantic evening or something." He adjusts himself in the bed to see Dean better, "I miss us, I'm not saying having Tommy is a bad thing I just don't understand why we can't have both."

Dean didn't know what to say, so he stuck with what sounded encouraging. Cass was a parent now, he had a two year old son at home, and he wanted to get out on stage in those outfits and shake his ass for a bunch of strangers? Dean knew Cass didn't see it that way, and he didn't want him to. "You know I get jealous, when you're out performing? Invited to all those after parties, surrounded by young, adoring fans. And it takes a lot of studio time to throw together an album... But most other families have both parents working long hours and subject their children to daycare. We're nowhere close to that, and you've still got the voice for it, the passion for it, and we've both got the time. Plenty of artists have kids –hell, I think most of them do. Don't worry so much, I'm alright with you and your band, K?"

"I know you get jealous," Cass kissed his lips softly; remaining there for a moment to feel for the passion he knew should be there. It wasn't a lost thing; their love was only buried under mountains of new knowledge called 'Parenthood'. "But I kinda like that," he whispered as he pulled his lips away, wearing a smile. "It makes me feel like you still want me, like I'm still as important to you as the day we got together."

Cass knew he'd found a personal source of pain with that statement; an old fear he'd had when pregnant was that Dean wouldn't love him anymore. He knew it was unfounded now, however that didn't change the base of it; he was scared Dean was becoming disinterested. The realization of this thought caught him off guard, his bottom lip quivering slightly as he stared at his lover.

Dean's brow furrowed, "You _like_ that I'm jealous? Because you haven't seen the half of it." Dean rolled over top of Cass, brushing against him, and lowering his head so their faces were inches from one another. "You have no idea how jealous I can be, when you're in a good mood, and having an awesome time, you're so carefree its heart warming." Dean ground against Cass' hip lightly, and brushed their lips together softly, "And I don't like that others can do that to you," Dean's whisper was heavy and possessive, "it should be me and only me. I love seeing you happy, and it's hard to stop myself from taking you away from everything and keeping you to myself. I swear, I'm just shy of crazy stalker status." Dean pulled back off of Cass, a little shaken by his own intense feelings for his husband.

Dean surmised that it probably had something to do with losing Cass, and driving himself to the brink of destruction just to find him. Nothing in the world mattered then, without Cass there was just no point in continuing. Now that he had him, Dean spent a large portion of his time convincing himself that Cass wouldn't leave, worrying that he was wrong and that Cass would leave. And if Cass left him, would he take Tommy too? Would he leave Dean all alone? Dean knew it wasn't like Cass to do that to him, but the fear of solitude nearly drove him mad some nights.

Cass felt a skip in his chest, one that hurt but also aroused. Dean's movement on top of him was welcoming but his words... was he joking around or was he serious? "The people don't do that to me," Cass shifts in the sheets, his hands reaching Dean's arm comfortingly, "I do that to me; moving, singing... Pouring my soul out, sifting through it and sucking it back in. I don't perform for the fans, I do it for myself." He sighed lightly and placed his cheek against his husband's chest, catching the sounds of Dean's heartbeat. "You're the only one who makes me feel loved, truly loved. Not like the fans, they're a shifting tide of fads and what's 'in or out'. You're here for me, you love me and I can count on that to be a solid thing, I know you wouldn't stop just because I got a bad haircut or something." Cass lifts his head again, smiling. "I know you don't want me to go out without you, and I know you're trying to be understanding."

"Thank you, Dean." He whispered, "And don't worry about it, because I know you will. The band's a hobby, not my life." Cass lifted Dean's left hand and traced the ring on his finger, "You are, you and Tommy are my life and I wouldn't put anything before you. Do you believe that?" He smiled.

Dean looked into Cass' blue eyes, his own starting to sting with tears. "I should know that, and whatever you tell me, I believe it. But I've gotta know –do you miss the times when your band was your life?" Dean couldn't help but wonder if Cass was one of those people –he'd spent most of his band life wishing he had a soul mate, and he may very well spend most of his married life wishing he had his band back.

Castiel looked like he'd been slapped in the face for a moment, "Dean, sweetheart," Cass kissed his cheek gingerly, "Of course not. I loved the performing life but every time I went to bed I was alone, we weren't always working so when the others had things to do I just... My life was empty back then, the moment I saw you in that club I felt... like you would make me whole, a spark between us. So I pulled you onto the dance floor." Cass smiles at the memory, "You haven't gotten any better at shaking your hips but that's alright, I like my dancing-challenged husband just the way he is." He shakes his head, "Never think that, okay? You, Dean Winchester, are the love of my life and I would die for you, just as soon as you would do it for me."

Dean had given him so much, had sacrificed so much for him; Castiel owed him his life. The least he could do would be to give Dean something he wanted; clearly his husband had chosen to sleep naked for a reason.

Cass slipped his pants down easily, kicking them off the bed. His breathing increased as he trailed kisses down Dean's neck, nibbling at his collarbone. "I love you, Dean." He sighed into the heated flesh, his hands venturing over Dean's hips and around his backside. Cass clenched his ass, appreciating how well Dean had taken care of himself.

With the swift motion of cotton bottoms flying through the air, Dean's pupils widened, eye lids dropped to half, and eyebrows rose with curiosity and expectation. Every little touch was like electricity through Dean's skin, and he couldn't help the pleasured moan that shook in his throat. "I love you too Cass."

"Fuck me," Castiel pressed his lips to Dean's again, more feverish and hungry than before. His eyes were dark in lust when he opened them, a small ring of blue peeking out from behind the pupils.

Part of Dean was unsure if he should, like they hadn't covered all the reasons why Cass had wanted to talk to him. But despite the fact that something felt unfinished, Dean couldn't help the needy, primal urges that were stewing his stomach and lower. Reaching his arms around Cass, Dean skilfully flipped Cass back onto the bed, pinning him down by the wrists and fervently ravished his mouth with longing, passionate kisses. Too many jokes had been made at the expense of their sex lives, and Dean intended to fix that –no one in the house would sleep that night.

It hadn't been that long since their last escapade, but it seemed like it had been forever since Dean had experienced this level of desire. He loved Cass, there was no question about that, he'd die for the man in a heartbeat, and if the tables were turned he'd probably even have his child (but they weren't so Dean didn't have to worry about that). But there had been something not quite... heated, about their recent frolics –probably exhaustion, children were a nightmare. Dean didn't dare start to think that the passion was gone.

Cass moaned, moving into Dean's touch slow and deliberate. He felt a familiar tingling in his chest and smiled, their love wasn't dead it was just buried.

"Just don't forget you asked for it," Dean growled, playing at a more aggressive role.

"Ohhh I haven't forgotten anything," Cass breathes, his eyes comfortably closed, anticipating the activity.

The feverish kisses took on a harsher tone, leaving little welts and teeth marks in their wake. Dean set to work re-exploring Cass' body anew, head to toe he trailed his mouth, teeth, and tongue to explore all the finer spaces and crevices, agitating those sensitive, ticklish areas. "You know I'm just going to tease you, right? You'll have to beg for a little more attention." Dean's tongue flicked over the head of Cass' erection, teasing and providing little in the way of relief.

Cass' breaths came in short, sharp gasps. It'd been a while since he was teased, they usually had enough for a good pounding then dropped off to sleep, satisfied enough. He bucked his hips toward Dean's mouth, catching his tormentor mouth before it could pull away fully. He didn't get much out of that manoeuvre, just a quick warm, wet touch that ended too soon. "Ahhh..." He groaned repeatedly, his legs tensing and pushing against Dean's sides.

A mouthful of cock didn't bother Dean in the least, not anymore. Cass hadn't even made that much progress, only moving to bother himself further, "Hey now, who's supposed to do the teasing here?" Dean slid his lips over Cass' erection, lightly pulling the blood-swollen weight into his mouth to offer a pleasing, wet warmth –but zero pressure. One of Dean's hands fixed its position on Castiel's hip, impeding his lover's ability to thrust forward, the other continued to roam the planes of flesh before him before slipping underneath and finger Cass' unprepped entrance.

"Dean... Dean!" Cass cried out, he couldn't take it anymore and his body became frantic. Dean's hands tracing his most sensitive parts; barely grazing where he needed them to, and holding him down to prevent any way he could force more pleasure. He was rock hard, throbbing and pulsing which every anxious move, "Uh, uh..." his eyes were pleading with Dean's, begging for a stronger grip, something to push him over that orgasmic edge and relieve the building stress between his legs. Though he knew what Dean wanted, a verbal plea, an agreement that Dean had him just where he wanted him.

"Please! Oh god please, Dean. I need- I need-" he could barely think anymore, pride didn't matter in this moment he just needed release.

"What was that?" Dean breathed out the question, his soft exhale leaving a brief warm track across Castiel's bare skin. "I can't hear you," sing-song teasing, daring Cass to beg again.

Cass squirmed erratically, his back arching to the best of its ability with the force of Dean's hand on his hip. "Oohhh... please, please, please..." he whimpered desperately, "Please, Dean..."

Dean got what he wanted; he got to work on dishing out the goods. His hand switched up from Cass' hip to the base of his cock, a strong grip started massaging the firm appendage, aided by deliberate and skilled strokes of the tongue, swallows of the throat.

Castiel screamed; he didn't care who heard him tonight, it was just him and Dean in that house as far as he was concerned.

Dean's eyes rolled back at the sound of Cass' scream: it was pleasurable and rewarding, it had been so long... and Cass used to be such a rambunctious, out-going person that the quiet should've seemed alarming in the past. But now Dean had him screaming, had him begging, and it felt _so_ good to know that he could still do these things to Castiel.

It never seemed to occur to Dean that Castiel's rambunctious, out-going behaviour had not only been smothered but almost entirely put out. And it wasn't because Castiel didn't want to go out anymore, it was because he didn't want to upset Dean by going out anymore, and Dean wanted to keep him at home. Castiel hardly did anything aside from mothering, which was fine but he'd like some of his life back.


	11. Chapter 11

Cass took a moment to collect himself, it was his turn to give something back to Dean. He wriggled until he was upright, pushing Dean back into the sheets, a seductive smile on his face.

Dean gladly lay back as Cass took control; it almost seemed as though both of them had a point to prove in all of this. It didn't take much effort on his part, and Dean shoved the thoughts from his mind, all of them. There was nothing but a blank slate, him and Castiel making love in their bed. Nothing else needed to matter in this moment.

Cass returned the teasing favour, knowing all of Dean's buttons by heart but playing him as if he didn't. People change, in more ways than most realize. He and Dean had certain likes and dislikes when they started going out, these changed and shifted as they grew older. The same goes for the physical sensitivities. As much as either man wanted to proudly boast they knew their lover to a fault, they couldn't. Not really. Cass learned more about Dean in the next moments than he had bothered to in the last year.

'_I was so selfish, it isn't just about me. To make this work I need to please him too.'_ Cass realized as his hands drifted down Dean's chest for the third time, listening to the light and sharp intakes of air, feeling his chest rise and fall with each breath. _'I love him, how could I even imagine life without him, for even a moment?'_

Cass kept these thoughts to himself, his sexual attention aimed at Dean, the only man he ever wanted to please. His touch was less primal, less basic. Every time their skin connected there was a faint pound, as if a bass had been kicked in the distance, their hearts jumping with graze. Castiel's touch was loving, comforting, but mostly it was defensive. He wanted to keep Dean, forever. Something neither of them seemed to realize was that Castiel would not age like Dean, it wasn't prominent now but in ten more years it would be. Dean would die before him, long before him, and there was nothing Castiel could do to stop it.

Even being half angel didn't help, he could never just fly to heaven and watch over his lover like he had imagined so many years ago; when he first remembered his background. But now he knew that's not was he was, he couldn't do that. When he died he would return to heaven, no sooner. And now there was Tommy, how long would Tommy live? If he died before Cass too, could he continue living? Without his family?

All the while these thoughts tromped through his mind, Castiel worked Dean up like he knew how to; right to the edge, just where he needed him. Cass knew how close Dean was, he pulled himself up onto his lover, one leg on either side of the man's hips. Cass shifted his hips slowly, feeling Dean's cock, slick with pre-cum, pushing at his entrance.

Dean groaned loud and low, so very close. His hips bucked from need and instinct, the short distance between his swollen, weeping cock and Cass' warm, tight entrance was unbearable. Dean's mind was lost in waves of pleasure and need; his lust-filled eyes remained half opened to take in the picture-perfect image of Castiel's form perched on top of him.

Cass smiled and lowered himself gently, feeling Dean inside him, filling him up to full capacity. He never wanted anyone else, ever. He moaned as he pressed himself down then pulled himself up again, slowly working his muscles loose.

Dean had to try his hardest to control himself, to stop himself from pushing back up and bury deeper into Cass' tight passage. For all his efforts his hips still twitched erratically, trying to get him closer to that sweet heaven. "Cass..." Dean hissed out his name, followed by another low moan of pleasure.

Cass, his eyes half closed as he concentrated on the familiar yet new feeling, only smirked at the sound of Dean's voice. "Almost there, baby." Working himself loose was taking a bit longer, though he was actually taking the time to do it for once, instead of just letting Dean slam him. Not that he was knocking getting slammed, but it was nice to do it a little slower once in a while.

Blue eyes popped open as soon as he was comfortable with the pressure, fixing his gaze on Dean's expression as he increased his pace. Cass bobbed up and down at first, fast and shallow as he felt himself hardening again. He always had a good reload time.

Dean's head rolled back with relief as Cass hit a comfortable stride, and Dean allowed himself to push back, bumping Cass up slightly higher so gravity could pull him right back down on Dean's needy, greedy cock. Dean fumbled a hand up over his stomach and grabbed hold of Cass' stiffening erection. "Oh God, Cass..."

"Ah!" Cass gasped, his muscles tightening as he fell harder onto Dean's dick, harsher stimulation. "Oh Dean..." His voice is barely a whisper as he continues the motions, thoroughly enjoying the extra hand job on top of the anal probing.

Then he forced himself down harder, pushing Dean deeper and deeper inside, clenching his ass muscles as he did it. Cass was pro at this, and now, given some time for teasing and playing around, he managed to get to peak performance in a short amount of time.

Dean's body felt like it was on fire, every drop down Cass took left Dean fully buried in his soft flesh, and the tight pressures of that passage were electrifying. Dean groaned with pleasure, digging his fingers into Cass' hips and thrusting back up into him in time. Part of Dean wanted to give out, screw stamina when he was so damn close to release. But he knew better than that, and Cass had a bit too much control perched up on his pedestal. Dean pulled up slightly on the bed, changing the angle and when Cass came back down he was met with a strong stroke to his prostate, and then again, and again, until Dean had Cass in an equally needy state.

Castiel screamed again, his head thrown back violently at the sudden and startling sensation. Dean still knew his stuff.

They fell together, ecstasy having hit its high point and now plummeting back down to normal. Castiel pulled off of Dean, hot liquid dripping down the insides of his legs as he shifted his weight to drop into the soft mattress next to his husband. A soft smile on his lips was barely evident but it was there, he kissed Dean slowly, deeply.

"I love you," he whispered again, tears succumbing to gravity as they formed in his eyes. "I never want to lose you," his voice shook, his smile being tugged tight by facial muscles that were trying so hard to keep his emotions in.

Dean kissed back, a little sloppy through exhausted, ragged breaths. "I love you too, Cass." Dean pulled his teary-eyed mate into his arms, hugging him protectively in an attempt to hold him away from the world and keep him all to himself. "It's ok, Cass. Everything's just fine, I promise."

Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean and buried his face into Dean's bare chest, sniffling sharply and exhaling shallow, shaky breaths. "Please..." he pushed his head harder into the soft flesh, as if that would help. His lips and limbs started to tremble, "I'm scared, scared you'll leave... I've been so selfish, so terrible to you." He starts to sob but tries to stifle it, only making it sound worse, "You're everything to me. The only reason you're questioning it is because... because I..." He wished words would come easier in these moments, "What have I done to prove any of this to you? Nothing, nothing but ask for more. I'm so sorry... Please don't think you mean less to me than anything else..."

Cass grit his teeth, trying to keep the sobs in but they escaped anyway, "You're everything... please Dean... Don't leave me, don't ever leave me."

Dean just hugged Cass tighter, resting his jaw on top of Cass' head and making a point of not letting go. "Cass, I'm not going anywhere." Dean tried to calm him, unsure of how Cass became so sullen, worried that there was something far worse in the background that he didn't know about yet. "Whatever's bothering you, let me know." Dean prodded, hoping the light reminder will force Cass to spill the missing pieces, but comforting Cass was a higher priority at this point in time –at all points in time, and Dean didn't let the question linger. "It doesn't matter how selfish you act or how I'm treated, I will never, _ever_ leave you. I love you more than anything Cass, more than life itself. I'd die without you, hell, I almost did. I dropped everything else in my life for you, and I'd do it again. I'm a wreck without you, I need you, no one's ever made me happier." Reassuring Cass, and comforting him now made Dean feel better than all the apologies in the world could. Cass needed him, there was something Dean could do for him, and that was all he needed.

Cass sighed, relieved to hear the words out loud. "I'm scared, that's all." He whispered softly, ignoring the odd vibe he was getting from Dean. It was really starting to sound like Dean never wanted him to leave; and not just leave Dean but leave the house or even the room.

"I... had thought about what things will be like years from now. There isn't anything I can do about it; I know that, but still it... It scares me." Cass lifted his head away to look into Dean's eyes, "When you're dying an old man I might still look like this, Dean. I don't know how long I'll live, or how long you or Tommy will live... I just know that I'll be the last one, I'll out live both of you..." He sniffles again, his voice trembling still, "I'll watch you die, Dean... I'm scared."

Needless to say this wasn't the sort of post-sex pillow talk that Dean was expecting, but this sort of information, this insight into Cass was something he didn't hear nearly enough about, and there was no way he could just brush it off and try to get some sleep. Dean pulled himself up to rest his back on the head board and pulled Cass in close, nesting him against his chest with and arm wrapped over Castiel's shoulder's to help hold him in place, and another hand gently caressing his hair and jawline.

"Cass," Dean's voice was soft and gentle, almost pleading with Cass not to be afraid. But what could he say? If Cass was only half angel, then he wouldn't live forever, but he was still stuck out living Dean. "Cass, when Balthazar told you that a couple years back, when he'd tried to take you away to heaven, you said that you wanted to stay, that it would be worth it." Dean was feeling a little choked up, more than a little. Cass was everything he had –well, there was Sam and Tommy, and his friends, but aside from Tommy, Dean had left all those people behind once before in the wake of Cass' disappearance.

Cass nodded quickly, "It is, it is worth it Dean. I'm just telling you how I'm feeling..." He hoped that would be a good enough answer, he didn't want to go terribly indepth on this subject. It bothered him enough as it was.

What else could Dean say? There was no way he was going to give Cass his blessing to find someone else, but at the same time could Dean really commit to wanting Castiel to suffer centuries alone after he was gone? It was a fate far too cruel for words. "Yeah, I'm going to die before you, and yes I'm going to be a haggard old man while you look like you're twenty... but you're not going to leave me, are you? I'm just as scared of being alone as you are you know. I still have nightmares..." Sharing and caring time needed to end _now_. Dean had never meant to tell Cass he still had nightmares about that. Cass thought that was a phase that was long gone, that Dean trusted him to be there in the morning... but Dean couldn't help it.

Part of Castiel really wanted to say 'Dean listen to me, you big stupid idiot; 'I said I'm scared', not 'I'm going to leave you.'' Of course he couldn't, not after the 'I still have nightmares' line. "Dean..." Cass didn't know why but every time he felt sad or scared he always ended up comforting Dean, telling him that he wasn't going anywhere. "For the last time, I'm not leaving you, ever. Didn't I _just_ freak out about you leaving me?" Cass' tone was soft, a smile on his lips, "I just wanted to tell you how I was feeling, that's all." He sighed lightly and lowered his head again.

"Damnit, you'd think by now I'd learn to bite my tongue," Dean chastised himself, "That's not what I meant, and no matter what I want you to be able to tell me how you feel. I want to know when you're upset, and what's troubling you because I want _to fix it_. Complaining about it isn't helping, and I'm so sorry. Can you forgive me?" Dean turned his large orbs on Cass, pleading for forgiveness as much as his words were.

"Of course," Cass kissed his cheek, "Silly."

"What was that about nightmares?" He whispered, "You haven't told me anything about those..."

Dean turned his face away from Cass. He didn't want to talk about it; he didn't even want Cass to _know_ about it. But asking Cass to lay everything out for Dean was just hypocritical if Dean hid away his own grievances, depriving Cass of the same level of dedication Dean was demanding of him. "Do you remember when you first came back, just over two years ago?" Dean asked quietly, his voice sounded defeated.

Cass nodded, "Yeah, I had just about died after some angel assassin attacked me, come to think of it I probably didn't because I'm not really an angel..." He shook his head, "Anyway, what about it?"

"In the mornings, if you were up first and left the bed, I'd wake up terrified. I'd find your side of the bed empty and cold, and I couldn't think straight. I flew into a panic, fearing that you were gone; that you'd left because of me, or maybe you were kidnapped and you were out there somewhere being tortured, and I just didn't wake up when they took you..." Dean fought not to let his voice crack, desperately trying to keep himself detached from the all-too-vivid memories.

"I was terrified because of the nightmares I was having, where you were gone, and I was left all alone. You've humoured me, stayed in bed with me or woken me up when you'd leave. But I still have those nightmares, and lately they've been getting worse." Dean swallowed hard, stopping another sob dead in its tracks. He was _stronger_ than this, he had to be.

Cass lay quietly, listening to Dean attempt to spill his guts about this. He'd noticed Dean's odd behaviour in the mornings but made a point of not bringing it up. Apparently he should have a long time ago.

"Sometimes, in the nightmares we'd be sleeping side by side, and I can see it all from outside my head, like I'm in the room watching. And as I watch, a stranger walks into the room and pulls you out of my arms and lays you wide open for him on the bed." Dean pauses to collect himself, and doesn't feel anywhere near secure enough to tell this story. He pulls Cass in close, cuddling his fragile lover next to him, "I don't even move, my sleeping form doesn't even flinch. I try to scream at me to wake up, but I don't. I'm just sleeping while some stranger..." Getting the words out had never been harder, and Dean strokes Castiel's hair gently, as if trying to protect him from Dean's nightmare, "The stranger... _rapes_ you, right next to me in our own bed, and I don't even wake up."

Cass closed his eyes, _'I can't believe I didn't ask him about it.'_ "That won't happen, baby." He wasn't sure what to say but he figured he'd start with that.

"I'm sorry Cass, I don't mean to be thinking those sorts of things about you. Sometimes I wake up feeling like I'm the one who did it, like somehow I'm the one who wants to hurt you and hurt myself, by permanently taking you away from this world. It's sick, and twisted, and all I want to do is keep you where I can see you, so that I might be able to do something to help you, to keep you safe."

Now Cass really didn't know what to say. "It's okay, Dean. I'll be there when you wake up, if not right in the bed then in the house okay? I know you don't want to hurt me, I know that. They're just nightmares, you can't help what you dream so don't take it so seriously." He didn't know how to tell Dean not to worry about it, how to make sure his husband was comfortable with Cass out and about. "I won't do anything drastic so you can stop worrying about it." He smiled kindly, snuggling up against Dean, "You can trust me, Dean."

"I do trust you, Cass," Dean caressed the smaller man beside him, the act itself becoming more of security blanket type comfort for Dean, reassuring that Castiel is there and is relaxed –and breathing. "Of course I trust you Cass, you're everything I've ever wanted, and I've never wanted a liar. So you must not be lying, right? Bad logic, I know." After a moments silence, Dean added quietly, almost as a creepy after thought, "It's me I don't trust."

Cass smirked in response, not hearing the last part; "Now come on, let's get some sleep. Tommy will be up early tomorrow and we need to rest some time."

Dean turned onto his side, looking lovingly at Cass, "I love you." He leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on Cass' forehead.


	12. Chapter 12

"I'm bored out of my freaking mind!" Gabriel whined and bitched, literally rolling on the floor out of sheer boredom. "Cass is busy parenting, doing parent things, and he's so tied down with Dean that he doesn't even have a spare minute to sing even to himself! If we don't act as intervention and force that poor kid to sing and party again, then I'm just going to leave. I can't stand seeing him like this!" Gabriel rolled to his back, arching it, and then springing himself up to his feet.

"Yeah, sure he's happy, but he's not _really happy_. Not partying, not singing about every damn thing he sees. I mean yeah, it was annoying as hell on those 18 hour bus trips during tours, but that was still Cass. I miss waking up to stories about how far he shot his cum last night, and other vulgar shit. We need to get his ass back on a bus –no husbands allowed!"

"Mmmhmm," Balthazar absently replied, reading over last week's paper. "Look Gabriel, he's happy. And he'll put Dean first, no matter what. So if you would just drop this fit and forget about it, we could all move on."

"What if we found a replacement singer, and made him jealous? He'd come back, right?"

"Don't even think such stupid things, the only reason anyone listens to us is for Castiel. And he still lives in this house, so if I were you, I wouldn't dare speak the words 'replacement vocalist' or any other combination of words that elude to the same meaning, understood?" Balthazar folded the paper, completely disinterested with old news.

Anna glanced up angrily, "I'm with Balthazar on this one; we can't replace Castiel. He's the only singer for our band, you'd have to change the name if you wanted someone else, plus Cass is our friend. I know he's been busy lately but he's still Cass." She looked down at a magazine in her hands, only half reading it, "And Balthazar's also right about not mentioning that around him, he'd kill you."

"Bands have singers go AWOL all the friggin' time, it's because they're somehow more important than the rest of us." Gabriel threw his hands up, letting them drop to his sides by an act of physics and gravity. "Look, just because Cass is busy, doesn't mean we have to abandon all of our musical pursuits. Let's start another band! Ever heard of 'We Are The Fallen'? All of the band members are the exact same as Evanescence except for the singer. And they're _good_!"

"And unheard of," Balthazar added. "Drop it, Gabriel."

"Oh," Gabriel heard hustled footsteps down the hall, "Warned not a moment too soon, we have company." Gabriel turned to see Cass enter the room, and hoped to God that he hadn't heard him.

"What's with that smile?" Balthazar asked cautiously.

Castiel approached his old band mates, a grin plastered over his face. He had news; PMA was back, at least they were coming off hiatus. Tommy was young and Cass didn't want to miss much, plus he knew Dean wouldn't last without him for long periods of time. This all added up to the info he came out with; PMA was off hiatus except it would be more of a part-time job or even a hobby, he wouldn't be able to spend a ton of time practicing new songs or anything of the sort. He could write them and give them to the others to practice, he had faith his singing hadn't changed so he wouldn't need much in the ways of practice.

Finding time to record an album would be difficult but manageable. Point was; _Pleasure My Angel_ needed to get back out there, it'd been three years since they'd done anything new. Granted the press had a hay-day when Cass was seen pregnant, Dean's idea of a story worked well for that; the whole 'medical experiment that went very well' thing. His popularity had been a rollercoaster of ups and downs in the last few years but he was going to get it back on track.

"Sweet Jesus, something to do! Gabriel jumped up and ran a quick lap around the room, "I'm going to get back to practicing, with Cass only putting in half the effort, the rest of the band is going to become the focus. Our melodies and rifts will kick so much ass!" Gabriel paused at the door, "Anna! Balthazar! Let's go! We've got practicing to do! To the bat cave!" Gabriel zipped downstairs to the studio they had built in the basement.

At first Cass was overly excited to tell the gang that the band could make another comeback, but after Gabriel's commentary Cass felt a sharp pain in his chest. His old friends had been mostly abandoned by him, or so they seemed to feel that way. "Uh, yeah." His face fell against his will, betraying how he felt. He missed the band, he really did. He also missed just plain singing; he realized that he hardly made a noise anymore, nothing like he used to.

Anna trotted after Gabriel, grinning like he was. "Awesome, finally."

Balthazar smiled haphazardly at Cass, "I'm glad to hear you're back. We'll be practicing night and day if you need us. You'll know where to find us." Balthazar followed Gabriel and Anna downstairs, trying to hide his enthusiasm for getting back to the basics.

Cass smiled and nodded, "Right."

Once they had gone Cass wrapped his arms around himself, tears falling down his cheeks. He didn't know why he was so sad; for some reason he felt ashamed for crying now so he stood alone and wept silently, Dean didn't have to know. No one had to know he cried this time.

* * *

><p>"Ok, you're getting out of the car one way or another," Dean scowled at Tommy, secluded in the backseat of the Impala.<p>

Tommy looked out the window at the large, bricked building. Fear had consumed the happy, bright glint in his eyes and only left a shaky dark. He shook his head, "No."

"It's your first day of school; we're dragging your little uneducated butt into that awful place and leaving you there. It happens to everybody, now let's go." Dean sighed and lunged into the backseat of the car, determined to take Tommy –kicking and screaming –into that kindergarten classroom.

And scream he did. "NOOO! Daddy no!" Tommy pounded his little fists against Dean's back, "Mommy help!"

"Hey! No screaming for help!" Dean joked, hauling Tommy out of the car. "C'mon little buddy, you're making me out to look like the bad guy here. It's not so bad."

Cass, in the passenger seat, watched with concern. He'd never gone to school before either, didn't know the first thing about it. "Dean maybe..." he bit his lip, not wanting to interfere; this was something every kid had to do. Something every parent had to do, that was life.

"No Cass, we talked about this." Dean sighed heavily, wrestling with Tommy to get the boy's feet on the ground, "And besides, Tommy's going to have Charlie with him. And he's smart, good looking, talented, and great with words. The hell that is public school won't damage him as much as the others." Dean realized that talking about measures of 'damage' weren't the most comforting words to either Tommy or Cass, but it was fairly accurate. "Besides, it's not kindergarten you should be worried about –its high school."

Cass' worried expression only deepened, "It only gets _worse_?" He choked out, looking about as terrified as Tommy at this point.

"Mommy!" Tommy's eyes watered, staring at Cass pleadingly.

Cass resisted, he knew Tommy learned that one from Charlie who learned it from Sam. A very good tactic but Tommy wasn't as good at it as Sam was, which was surprising.

Tommy could see his attempt failed with his mom so he went back to struggling against Dean, "I don't wanna!"

"Look, Charlie will be there, ok? And he's going _willingly_. C'mon, what're you afraid of?"

Tommy quieted down, he still didn't get why Charlie did it on his own; maybe it had something to do with Uncle Sam. Uncle Sam was very serious about this 'school' thing, he probably gave Charlie some kind of special tip or expert's hint on what to do in that big building. "I'm not scared," Tommy pouted in his frustration, "Why do you have to leave me?"

Dean smiled teasingly, "What, you said you're not scared, so is it a problem that we're leaving?" Dean mussed up his thick black hair, "We'll be back. When all the other kids go home to see their parents again, we'll be here too."

Tommy shrugged, trying to pretend it wasn't a big deal. Truth was he'd never really been away from both his parents. Even if mom left to do his job dad was always there, or if dad was busy mom was there. Now suddenly out of the blue he was being abandoned, he wasn't taking it terribly well.

Castiel stepped out of the car and went to his son's side, reaching over and fixing the messy black locks. "It's only for a little while; we'll be back before you know it." Cass tried to sound certain but it was hard when he didn't want Tommy to go either.

Tommy's big blue eyes stared at them both, accusingly, "Promise?"

"Promise," Dean responded swiftly.

"Promise," Cass pet his cheek, "Now come on, you have friends to make."

Tommy nodded, feeling a little better. He'd have Charlie there and his mom and dad promised to come back for him. This school thing couldn't be that hard.

Cass took Dean's hand and leaned in to whisper, "Dean I'm not sure about this, can we wait? Or... maybe home school him? Sam's smart, he could teach them, right?" Cass was obviously nervous, the entire time Dean had been going on about Tommy's first day at school Cass was worried about it, frightened even. "What if school..." 'Isn't good for him' sounded stupid but it was the only way Cass knew how to put it, "What if it doesn't work out for him? Or someone hurts him? We won't be there to watch."

Dean took Cass' hand in return and looked him in the eyes, not challenging, but reassuring, "Cass, everyone needs to go to school. It's where you acquire your first peer group. You learn what to say and what not to say around what people _your own age_. We can't offer Tommy that from home. If he's home schooled, he'll be socially awkward and worse –shy. Peers are where you get a measure of what you are, what you're worth, even if it's a bad thing, it's still a life experience."

Tommy was up on the front steps when he spotted Sam, Bella, and Charlie pull up in one of the most expensive cars that Bella could get her hands on. They had to drop their kid off in style, after all. Sam hopped out, entirely excited. He opened Charlie's door and pulled his little man out of the backseat. "There you go," he put the tiny backpack over his son's shoulders and smiled brightly. "I'm so proud of you, I know you're gonna be amazing here." He looked at Bella; he could barely contain how overjoyed he was. Not only would they get some time alone for once, but Charlie was finally being educated.

Charlie beamed, proud to make his dad proud, though he wasn't quite sure what that meant. "I love you daddy," he cooed and hugged Sam's gargantuan leg with enthusiasm. Quickly shuffling around to the driver's side and hugged Bella, "I love you mommy."

"I love you too dear, now go have fun. We'll be back in a few hours." She smiled genuinely and ruffled Charlie's dirty blonde hair.

"Hi Charlie!" Tommy waved. He didn't quite understand why they didn't all come in the same car, but he figured it might be because his daddy's car was better and dad didn't want Auntie Bella in it. Or something like that.

"Tommy!" Charlie's face brightened at the sight of his cousin and he started running over to the front steps to join him.

"Whatcha waiting for, Dean?" Sam smirked as he passed his brother, taking Charlie inside to the classroom. Tommy tagged along with them, knowing when his mom and dad were having a 'private moment'.

"Not now, Sam," Dean answered in short reply, still focused on Cass, hoping he hadn't worried the man too terribly much.

Dean rubbed Cass shoulder, trying to place this as delicately as he could. "School can be the worst thing of many people's lives, just ask Chuck. Some people get really depressed from being picked on and alone, and some even commit suicide over it; but not in kindergarten. And we won't always be there Cass, there's no way we can lock him up in the basement away from the rest of the world and not allow him to go out and enjoy himself the way he wants to." The ideas themselves stemmed from Dean's desire to lock Cass away, like a precious singing bird, and keep him all to himself. The thoughts scared Dean; made him wonder what his own motives were with his wife, what kind of damage was finally rearing its head after nearly six years. But now was about Tommy, and not about him. He'd have to wait.

"Suicide!" Cass shook his head, "No no, if this place is gonna make him kill himself I'm not doing it." He paused, knowing that all the people he'd met on Earth had gone to school, aside from a few character defects they were okay.

"I know we can't lock him up..." Cass sighed heavily, "Alright fine, life experience it is. But if he tries to kill himself I'm taking it out of your ass." He pointed a warning finger at his husband though it was obvious he wasn't totally serious.

"If he tries to kill himself _**I'm**_ taking it out on my ass, and his entire class." Dean straightened out, smiling at Cass, "It's _fine_. Everything is going to be just fine, ok? I'm saying all this stupid crap so you and Tommy can expect the worst, but the worst isn't going to happen –not in Lawrence. He'll be worried, find out it's not so bad, and he'll be fine. Same goes for you." Dean kissed Cass on the cheek, "I love you, and I'd never put you or our son in harm's way. Now let's get inside."

Cass smiled and kissed back, "Love you too," he looked around and noticed that Tommy had gone in with Sam and Bella. "Aw damnit..." he moaned, running up the front steps.

The room was brightly lit with so many colours that it was hard to register them all. Several play areas were set up all over, though the most prominent thing was the teaching area, little desks set up in a neat order with a pencil and some paper sitting on top of each one.

Charlie stared at the colourful room with an awestruck, slack-jawed expression. He let out a squeaky sigh of appreciation, taking the verbalized sound of a dragged out: "Woooooooooow!" Looking all round, left right and up down, Charlie started shaking with excitement, "This is so cool!" And he was off, his natural curiosity taking after his father and he just had to _know_. What did this do, what did that do, what was the purpose of this, and –ooo, I wonder if that's fun to play with?

Suddenly a cheery, female voice broke Tommy's awestruck concentration; "Good morning! I'm Mrs. Braeden, the kindergarten teacher."

Sam smiled at the dark haired woman; he'd spoken to Lisa Braeden over the phone a few times before the first day, just to make sure Charlie was ready. "I'm Sam Winchester, this is my wife Bella and this is Charlie. We spoke-"

"Over the phone, yes!" Lisa smiled brightly, "Nice to meet you in person, Mr. Winchester. And this must be little Tommy, then?"

Tommy nodded, suddenly feeling a lot less shy. He'd been around other people before and was quickly realizing this wasn't going to be much different. His anxiety lifted and beamed a smile right back at her, "Yep! My mommy and daddy are late, they're having a 'private moment'," he leaned in to whisper the last part, moving his fingers to indicate the quotations.

Sam smirked, "They're coming."

"We're here we're here!" Cass pronounced as he quickly trotted into the room and straight to Tommy's side, taking the boy's small hand in his own. "Sorry,"

Lisa's eyes widened, "Castiel? As in, _Pleasure My Angel_, Castiel?"

Cass smiled, "Yeah, Castiel Winchester, and my husband Dean."

Dean's attention was clearly focused on Tommy, the bright-eyed expression that had taken over his small features gave Dean reassurance that he wasn't just feeding his son to the wolves. "Yeah, hi," he said absently to his introduction.

"Dean?" Lisa and Dean had graduated together, dated for a while but it fell apart after graduation; she moved to a city to push her education further. "Oh my god! Dean Winchester I haven't seen you since I moved back to Lawrence, how are you?"

Cass was a little surprised; someone who recognized him as being the lead singer of _Pleasure My Angel_ was suddenly more interested in his husband. It didn't bother him; it only shocked him because it didn't happen that often.

Dean looked up in surprise at the personal recognition, "Lisa?" Dean was momentarily shell shocked, "Hey!" He moved forward and gave her a quick hug, backing off after a brief moment and putting his hand on her shoulders, inspecting her, "I've been really good, got married, had a kid. Y'know, life stuff. Long time no see, but I think it's more like you haven't seen me since you dumped my ass and moved _away_ from Lawrence. When'd you get back? How was travelling?"

Lisa smiled brightly, ignoring Dean's possible bitterness, "I can't believe you settled down. I got back about two years ago, I've been teaching here since then." She hugged Dean back, prolonging it since they had been such good friends in the past and figured a two second embrace wouldn't cut it. "Travelling was amazing, you should really do it sometime, it gives you a whole new perspective on things."

Dean enjoyed the tender touch of a woman, a seemingly rare experience. Cass was pretty close, but Dean wasn't allowed to make that association. Dean couldn't shake the observation that Lisa smelled of lilacs and something sweet, it was nice. "Yeah, I should probably go on vacation or something. But I have nothing to vacation _from_. No work, few hobbies, I have my family at home and there's nothing else I'd ever want."

"Wow," She nodded, impressed, "I guess marrying a famous rockstar helps, eh?" She smiled.

"It most certainly does," Dean beamed, "I couldn't have a more perfect life with anyone else."

She winked, "You don't know that," Lisa giggled, just playing.

Castiel, at first, was surprised someone would rather talk to Dean than him. Now? Now he was annoyed, irritated, and possibly even jealous. His brow twitched angrily, the muscles beneath his eye spazzing involuntarily. This woman knew Dean; this attractive human woman, who hadn't given him all the troubles that Castiel had, knew and even dated Dean. And _she_ was the one who broke it off, meaning Dean didn't want to.

He fumed for a moment, his nephelim powers sparking a few times to cause a somewhat unfriendly atmosphere in the room. With clenched fists he tried not to snap at Dean; after all the jealousy at the offers Castiel received to go to parties –offers he never accepted- or even just people wanting to see him for a day... After all the grief of Castiel trying to have a social life outside of his home, the attempts to just _talk_ to other people or make new friends... He'd never once hugged them, never got friendly like this; hell he wasn't allowed to or Dean would freak out and get pouty. Now here Dean was making 'goo-goo' eyes at the kindergarten teacher.

Sam glanced at Bella, "Do you see what I see?" He nodded toward the ominous haze surrounding Castiel, his face turning bright red. "I think I need to diffuse that bomb before it goes off around kids."

"Good idea," Bella nodded in agreement, surprised at the overly tense expression on Cass' face. '_Is he mad?_' Bella looked at Dean, making small talk –overly friendly –small talk, with the teacher. "Oh."

Sam placed a hand on Cass' shoulder, causing the shorter man's head to snap in his direction, "_**What!**_"

Dean's attention shattered and refocused entirely on Cass. '_What's gotten into him_?' Dean tried to put together a theory while Sam confronted an evidently enraged Castiel. Dean's face was a blur of confusion and concern while he watched it unfold.

"Cass, calm down." Sam spoke evenly.

"I AM calm! Can't you see how calm I am? I am_ so_ calm that I'm going to say goodbye to Tommy and then _calmly_ go back to the car." Cass stalked to his son and attempted to give him one last hug, though the 5-year old was much more interested in playing with the new toys. "Okay then," Cass let his son go, clearly hurt that he was the only one still upset about any of this. _'Maybe I'm being stupid but I don't care.'_ He marched out of the school, eyes fixed on the floor below him.

"Alright then..." Sam dropped his hands to his sides, "Dean?" He knew he didn't have to tell his brother something was up, it was pretty obvious, or so he thought.

"Yeah," Dean swallowed hard, "Sorry Lis, I've gotta go. Nice seeing you again." Dean hustled out the door, quick to get after Cass.

"Hey Tommy!" Charlie shouted from the child-size play house, "Come check this out!"

"You be careful!" Bella called back to Charlie, not able to help that motherly protection that lurked under her practiced, cool exterior. Turning to Sam, "I think he'll be just fine. How about we go home and have some time to ourselves." Bella leaned into Sam, tip toes and all to place a kiss on her tall husband. "Maybe now you can finally tell me what was so dreadful about getting Gabriel his grace back."

Sam grinned, he knew Bella would be a good mother; it wasn't even a question anymore. "Alone time sounds amazing," he took her hand and kissed her back, "And I'm _never_ telling you about that; ever." He smiled though it didn't take a genius to know he was serious; he wasn't going to talk about it and he never wanted to remember it. It didn't happen, in his opinion.


	13. Chapter 13

"Hey, what was that back there?" Dean asked as he jogged up next to his 'wife'.

"Oh like you care to know." Cass grumbled, trying to ignore Dean and not look at him.

"I'm sorry if I offended you..." Dean's defence is meagre when he's unaware of his crime, and he really didn't want to mess things up with Cass. Everyday seemed like a fight to keep him, and everyday Dean's desire to keep Cass locked away like a beautiful, precious thing grew stronger. Cass was his, and the last thing he needed was his old fling picking up his wife. Not that Lisa seemed the type, but Cass was a celebrity, Lisa was attractive, and Dean caught the 'Ms.' In the introduction.

"IF!" Cass spun to face Dean now, his hot temper blasting forward once again. "Don't I look offended to you! What's this IF crap!" His cheeks flared red again, icy blue eyes glaring at Dean, "Let me tell you what's bugging me, since you have NO FREAKING CLUE!" He shouted, not letting Dean get a word in. "For the last forever you've been having heart attacks every time I get out of bed before you, every time I want to leave the house, go out with my band or even make a new friend! You've tied me down, which is fine with marriage and kids and all that but you've tied me to the friggin' bed post! I can't even breathe without you being there, forget about moving! I can't remember the last time I went OUT and had fun, Dean. Yeah, you and me at home, that's fun. But once in a while I like to party, in a bar or preferably a club. I like dancing, Dean. It's how you met me; you should know this as a basic fact about me! But no! Instead I'm on lockdown most nights, unless I go and do some work. Then you're bitter and whiny with me because you never accepted that 'hobby' of mine, as if I'd choose a _band_ over you!"

Cass' freak out left Dean floored. The first word that tore from Cass' throat _screamed_ that Dean had fucked up –and bad. He stood petrified, taking the verbal berating he knew he deserved, but Dean couldn't believe that Cass had thrown those nightmares back in his face. Between how much those dreams haunted him and scared the living hell out of him, how could Cass hold that against him? Dean knew he never should've mentioned it. But for now there were more important things going on, how could he manage to upset Cass so badly? Especially after they'd _just_ ended another fight? What was worse, this was a problem that apparently plagued Cass for _years_, and was only surfacing now. It occurred to Dean that the damage had already been done, and not only that, he'd been doing it since he met Cass. "Cass..." Dean tried to explain.

Cass took a breath but lifted his hand to stop Dean from speaking, "I'm not finished."

Dean nodded and swallowed hard, he needed to fix this. And once Cass got it all off his chest, Dean would try his damndest to get it right.

"I understand, Dean. I understand that you're scared I'm going to leave you or some bullshit. After ALL those years ago when I was SNATCHED and moved, against my will, you're still thinking about it. You blame me for vanishing, I know you do otherwise you'd never think twice about me walking down the block for some fresh air every now and then! Let me spell it out for you, genius; I. Didn't. Leave. Balthazar took me, Balthazar accidently moved me to a different dimension for a while. I had nothing to do with it, Dean. I didn't do that, I never left you and I never will. Now will you stop being a fucking baby about it and give me some GOD DAMN SPACE!" Cass screamed the last few words for emphasis, his eyes squeezed shut and his fists balled tightly on either side of him, his entire body was shaking from the adrenaline moved into him from anger.

"Ok," Dean's answer was quick and short, his voice tight from the strain in his throat. Cass evidently didn't want to hear it, and he was sick of Dean being an emotional little twerp. Dean couldn't blame him, he'd always been tougher than that –and hell, he remembered a time when he'd mock a man for crying. Men don't cry, Dean knew it and now he wasn't entirely sure why he ever stopped listening to that age old rule. His pains and concerns, heartaches and fears that he wished could be reassured and laid to rest were sealed up tight and pushed way down. They needed a resolution to all the tension in their lives, and now that Dean knew that he was the problem; he could go ahead and fix it already.

"We've both been quick to jealousy, and I know I have possession issues." Dean sighed, formulating the thoughts in his head before sticking the words out into the public audience. "You're right, I'm too clingy. I'm being a whiny, needy, little bitch, and I'm going to cut that out. I'm sorry I've stifled you. For six years I've kept you away from the world, and admittedly, I've done most of that on purpose. But not anymore. You should go out, have nights out with your friends, and I mean nights where I'm not there. I'm not your master or owner, and if I want the best for you like I keep saying I do, then I shouldn't be trying to stamp out your freedom."

Cass was floored by Dean's sudden answer, he expected another whiny excuse and 'but Cass' complete with snivelling. "Really?" he asked cautiously, not sure this could be as easy as that. What was the catch? What was Dean going to do now? Cut himself? Cry himself to sleep? Glare angrily? Cass wasn't sure he trusted it'd be that simple.

Every second that passed allowed Dean to push it further down; he'd done it before, all the time. He was a raging homophobe for years in high school, just to repress thoughts he was certain he shouldn't have, and eventually forgot about. He was tougher than the average person, and was never sad about anything –buried it deep. If he thought about it, those past habits may very well be the reason for those nightmares terrifying the shit out of him on a regular basis, but he'd long since shut up about those.

"Really, no strings. I promise I'll back off, and between your band and solo outings, we should go out together sometime, to a club or something."

"A club?" Cass' eyes sparkled at little at the thought; the last time he'd been to a club was with the alternate dimension Dean, where he tried to pretend he didn't care. It was a sour ending, as he recalled. "You mean it? That'd be so much fun! Just you and me on the dance floor, like the first time." He shook the reminiscing look away, back into the moment at hand.

Dean felt momentarily proud –Cass' eyes were sparkling, for real. Before he let Cass go and do his own thing, having more fun away from Dean than with him, Dean was determined to take him to a club with just the two of them first. Cass' resurgence of energy after some stagnant years should be with Dean, not on his own or with his band. "Yeah, like the first time," Dean smiled at Cass, remembering the downright seductive allure Cass had laid on him in the bar. Dean didn't have a clue who Cass was that first time –not the fame, not the talent, and definitely not the wonderful person underneath. Cass was just raw energy, party and to Dean –an icon of lust. Dean wondered if he could ever see his 'wife' in that light again.

"Maybe then, when I haven't forced myself to be the only thing in your life, you won't be so jealous when I run in to an old friend," Dean got the feeling he was treading toward thin ice on this one –but the fact of the matter was, Cass was equally as jealous as Dean, and that was partially because Dean made him that way.

Cass raised an eyebrow slowly but then averted his gaze, Dean was the only person he really attached himself to in the last several years. He'd been so focused on Dean that he felt he'd lost all his other friends. "You were getting friendly with her..." Cass looked up again, "You used to date _and_ you weren't the one who broke it off. Not to mention you weren't always gay so I thought you might... Be interested in her." His tone was nowhere close to angry anymore, though it was far from sad too. He was jealous, there was no doubt.

"Cass!" Dean tried not to sound outraged, tried not to reel at the thought, "I've dedicated years to trying to keep you to myself. I wanted to keep _myself_ away from everyone but you. I love you, more than anything, more than anyone. I love you. End of story. I'm jealous as hell, and I'm the one interested in someone else?" The question was incredulous, intended to draw out just how silly a thought that was. "No, Cass. I don't want Lisa, I just want you. Ok?"

Cass blushed, a little sheepish now. "Yeah, now that you put it that way I feel really stupid..." he glanced up, embarrassed, "Forgive me?" He did feel like an idiot, that temper tantrum thrown like an infant just because of a wild imagination? Stupid.

"Forgiven," Dean smiled, the visible representation of Cass' embarrassment was more reassuring than the words, and Dean figured they'd finally settled that. "It's alright Cass, The jealousy is cute, just until it's screamed into my face. But I like it," and that much was true –if Dean could get Cass to want him again, the way that Dean wanted Cass, then they wouldn't be having this –'_no, no more thinking like that, just let it go._'

"I guess that's only fair," Cass shrugged, "I mean, I kinda said the same thing about you getting jealous over me." It meant that he still cared, which was nice in small doses. The overly ridiculous jealousy that Cass had just shown wasn't helpful at all.

"So we're agreed? Give each other some much needed space? I'll have to find a hobby or something, but I really should have more things to do with my spare time."

"Agreed, if you mean it." Cass stared at him intensely.

"Trust me little, I mean it." Dean stared back, daring Cass to doubt him again.

"I just don't want to step on your toes, just making sure that this is what you want too," he tried to sound reassuring, not confrontational.

"Thank you, Dean." He wrapped his arms around Dean and kissed his cheek, "I appreciate it, really." Cass smiled, relieved, "And it's not that hard to find a hobby; you haven't spent a lot of time with just you and Sam, or with your parents for that matter. I think you should do that, for starters." Cass didn't want to dictate what Dean did, just toss out suggestions.

"I'll start with Sam, and maybe my parents. I haven't really talked with them much since starting to date you. They know Charlie well enough, because of Sam. I should really bring Tommy over. No idea how my dad'll take that, but we'll see. And maybe I'll start working with cars again..." Dean knew he wouldn't, the time Cass was away, Dean would spend with Tommy, not under a car. Tommy could play with Charlie while Dean hung out with Sam, and of course anyone in the house would be happy to watch Cass' kid for a few hours. And now the kids were in school –maybe there was time for cars after all.

"That's the spirit." Cass smiled, feeling much more relieved now than about ten minutes ago.

"You know this school thing is a godsend, like free babysitting," Dean smirked at the idea, and then his smile faded, "Only trouble is, I don't trust babysitters." Despite how friendly Dean appeared to be with Lisa, the thought of leaving his son with anyone still bothered him.

"And I don't like the idea of him trying to kill himself in high school, we both have to deal with it." Cass laughed though it bugged him a little too. Soon enough, he knew, they'd both get over it and school would seem like a normal thing to them; just part of life.

"You're really okay with this? Not mad at me?" Cass wanted to go out again; _god_ did he want to. But at the same time he didn't want to be selfish and not take Dean's feelings into account. "You know I love you, I don't want to push you away or anything, I really don't."

"It's alright Cass," Dean reassured him, "I love you, and I know that you love me. And we both agree that we're both getting jealous over nothing and overreacting. I know you can't keep living in conditions where I'm practically keeping you captive, and it's not healthy for our relationship, so yeah, I'm sure I'm ok with this." Dean offered a smile, hoping Cass wouldn't see Dean's uncertainty at all of this.

Cass smiled, either entirely missing Dean's concern or just looking past it. He was certain that after several months of this, if not weeks, they'd be okay.

"Now, let's get ourselves home. Did you want to start free time now or tomorrow?"

"Well I'd say we need some serious stress relief first," His smile twisted a little, a seductive glint taking over his eyes, "Sex first, then we spend quiet time together today. Tomorrow should be good for some free time." It wasn't that he didn't want to spend time with Dean; he just wanted to do more of the things that he liked. It was okay if Dean was there, but he figured some time apart during the day would be good for them.

Dean smiled for Cass' sake. The idea of sex usually sent his head spinning from lack of blood, it should've been exciting –but it wasn't. Dean was struggling with the difficult process of letting Cass go, not leave him, but just... free. It was more difficult that he thought, and there was still plagues of doubt and concern whirling about in his head. How could sex with a man who wanted an arms-length policy possibly be enjoyable? It was supposed to represent a union, a closeness between them, but they were trying to lessen that very thing. The bottom line was Dean had too much mental suppressing going on to be confident that he could even get it up, and that would just be embarrassing.

"Not to be insulting or anything –this is purely helpful intent here, but if you're going to be a doing a lot more performing, did you want to go shopping for more clothes? I don't know how well your old stuff fits you –which doesn't matter to me, but I figure you could use some new stuff. How about a little shopping? We can go wherever you want," Stalling for time was essential, Dean needed to work on clearing his mind.

"Clothes?" Cass repeated, feeling a little odd all of a sudden. "You'd rather go shopping than have sex?" _'Something's definitely wrong here… Point it out or leave it be? I knew this couldn't be as easy as that.'_ He decided to ignore it; Dean would get over it in time. "Whatever, suit yourself I guess." He climbed into the car with a sigh, "I don't feel like shopping today, too much stress already."

He stared out the window, his arms huddled in close. Even though he'd just gotten what he wanted he felt wrong, like he'd done something entirely evil. _'He's just being sensitive, it's nothing and it'll be fine.'_ He tried to tell himself but Cass didn't really believe it. Dean was either angry or found him unattractive, whatever the case something was up. _'He's being a brat, just leave it be.'_ Cass nodded to himself, deciding it would be left as it was and he wouldn't bring it up again until later.

Dean climbed into the driver's seat and looked dismally at Cass, "I'm trying, ok? It's just going to take some getting used to. And from my perspective I'm losing you, so that's not really a reason to get riled up and celebrate. I was trying to find something else that you might like instead, that was it. I'm sorry I'm such a fuck up at this, but I promise I'm trying." Dean started the car –this was going to be a long, quiet, and awkward drive home.

"I know you're trying," he wanted to roll his eyes but didn't, miraculously. "I know, just… I don't know, I don't want to talk about it anymore. There's only so many times I can tell you this isn't 'you losing me' before it gets redundant." Cass crossed his arms and continued to stare out the window, he knew he should apologize and take it back and all that to avoid conflict but he was too tired to keep doing it so he just remained silent on the way home.

"Look, I _know_ you said that you're not going anywhere and that I'm not losing you. I heard you, ok? All I was saying was that I'm not comfortable with it yet, I will get there, but it's not at the flip of a freaking switch. From my point of view, from my perspective –where I'm sitting _right here, right now_ **that's** how I feel, all I was doing was explaining what I was thinking and why I wasn't in the mood," _and explaining myself is something I said I'd stop doing_. "Never mind, ok?"

Cass didn't look at him this time, just lifting a hand and waving it as if to say 'I'm not talking about it anymore'. If Dean wanted to take this like it was the end of the world then fine, let him.


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's Note****:**

**Sorry everyone though I think there's only 3 of you (basing this off of reviewers), can't write five year olds to save our lives! But anyway I hope you enjoy the next bits lol Also, there's a link/address to see a picture of the boys introduced here in this chapter (they come back so you may want to look lol) I drew it and coloured it myself (hastily) and it isn't terrible but it gives a good idea of what they look like :) Okay now on with the story XP**

As they were leaving, Sam noticed three small boys cautiously walking into the school. "I'm scared, where are we?" The smallest one whimpered, clinging to the tallest of the three boys. He looked so cute it was almost heart-wrenching. Short-cut black hair with natural silver highlights falling evenly around his undeveloped cheeks, large black eyes peering fearfully out from beneath the curtain of bangs.

"It's okay, Snowe." The tallest one, messy silver hair and bright red eyes, spoke next. He smiled reassuringly, squeezing the boy's small shoulders. "This is 'school', it's a good thing."

The third boy scoffed, his long black hair tied in a pony tail at the base of his neck and trailed down his back. "School is an awful, scary place Snowe. There are bullies, and monsters, and the teacher's going to beat you with a wooden stick." Bitter and unhelpful, the pale skinned, black haired boy skulked behind his brothers, laying the intimidation on thick.

"Yoshi." The silver haired boy snapped his head in his other brother's direction, his tone warning and reprimanding, "You aren't helping," he hissed.

"Of course I'm helping; I'm preparing him for what's to come. You're the one that's not helping."

"Is that true?" Snowe squeaked, tugging on his brother's arm, "Twix, is that true?"

"No, Snowe." Twix smiled down at him, petting his hair, "Yoshi's just making up stories again."

Snowe nodded and stuck his tongue out at the darker haired boy. "Snowe don't do that," Twix scolded. The little one lowered his head and whispered an apology though it was hardly audible.

Sam stared curiously at the boys as they walked alone to the classroom, looking a little lost as they did so. The silver haired boy let go of his little brother and approached Sam and Bella, complete strangers, "Excuse me, where's Miss Braeden's Kindergarten class?"

Sam pointed down the hall, "Take a left at the end of the hall, can't miss it."

Bella nodded in agreement. She looked the boy over, he couldn't be more than five or six years old, but the mature way in which he spoke, coupled with the tired look in his youthful eyes told Bella that there was a story there, likely not a pretty one.

"Thanks," the boy gave a quick bow of his head before returning to take Snowe's hand and taking the three of them down to the classroom.

"There's something inherently wrong about that; where are their parents?" He figured that those people probably had a good reason not to take their kids to their first ever day of school, though he wasn't sure what could be more important.

Bella shrugged, "Maybe they don't have parents. Or their parents are like mine were, and they're better off." In truth, she was concerned for those boys. They seemed so vulnerable, having walked to school alone, and finding their way alone as well. "Do you think we should inquire about them at the office? If something's up..." She knew there was nothing they could do, nothing that the school would tell them, bound by red tape and privacy acts. But she couldn't help but feel for them, like something should be done.

Sam frowned, "Asking at the office won't do any good, asking the boys might though." Sam called down after them, "Hey, kid."

Twix stopped and looked up, "Yes?"

Sam walked closer, his natural curiosity taking over once again. "Where are your parents?"

Yoshi's face twisted into a bitter scowl at the question, or perhaps it was a preliminary response to the answer he knew was coming.

"Vacation." Snowe quickly responded, "They've been gone a long time but I think they're coming back soon."

Yoshi grimaced, there it was –that safety net of a lie. Snowe believed, it, when Twix told him that their parents were on vacation. And as far as Twix knew, Yoshi believed it too. Yoshi wanted nothing more than to tell his brother that he wasn't helping anyone by hiding the truth, he wasn't protecting them by lying about it.

Something about Snowe's answer coupled with Twix's darkened eyes and Yoshi's terrible attitude told Sam that something was definitely up with these three. "Vacation, huh?"

Twix nodded, "Yes," he gripped Snowe's hand, "Excuse us."

Yoshi looked up at Sam, a bitter darkness lurking in his eyes, "My brother will never let you help us. He doesn't trust you or anyone else. Don't bother."

Sam froze, what was with that? Normal kids don't say things like that. He watched them leave then looked at Bella again, shaking his head, "Nothing we can really do if that's the case." He didn't believe it for a second but what could he do?

"Sam, there is something terrible troublesome about those children..."

He nodded solemnly, leading her out of the school.

Yoshi trailed behind Twix and Snowe down the school halls, mentally mocking the frailer looking boy for clinging so tightly to his brother. "You know you're making yourself out to be a grade A target for bullies, ya know that right?" He prodded again, despite Twix's many warnings.

Snowe looked down at his hand and considered it for a moment, "But I'm scared..."

"And that's fine." Twix smiled at him then shot Yoshi another glare, "Would you cut that out?"

"Why are we even here?"

"Because it's school, we have to go to school for education." Twix recited something he'd read last month, "Everyone our age goes." He adjusted the heavy backpack on his shoulders awkwardly, it weighed him down quite a bit but it wasn't that much, not compared to taking care of his brothers. "Just suck it up, Yoshi. You're gonna be in school for the next ten or eleven years so you may as well enjoy it."

"I don't have to do anything!" Yoshi shouted back, anger welling in his stomach like a cold, heavy pit. Twix was a liar, a liar with good intentions but a liar all the same. Listening to him was a gamble, and though Yoshi didn't know much about much, he'd rather figure it out for himself than listen to a liar.

"Yoshi..." Twix's eyes looked even more tired, he knew Yoshi knew. What could he say? Snowe was so small, so fragile that he couldn't bear to put that kind of weight on him. He mouthed 'talk later' to his brother, indicating he wanted to go over this with him. Yoshi and Snowe were still his age, they were triplets, but Twix knew more than them. He was smarter than both of them; physically and mentally he'd gotten the long stick, and yet somehow he drew the short one.

"That long?" Snowe pouted apparently missing the conversation happening just above his head, "But mommy and daddy are coming home soon, we might miss them!"

Twix sighed lightly, masking it as a lengthened exhalation. "It'll be okay, Snowe." He whispered a promise he wasn't sure he could keep.

Yoshi sneered again, though he knew their future was grim. If they didn't stick together, they'd all but fall apart. "You know Twix; you should really tell him the truth." Yoshi's young voice was deadly calm, and entirely sincere. Even if Snowe didn't understand it, at least he'd still trust Twix rather than think him a liar.

Twix stared at the smaller boy, his own mind free of almost all worldly experiences and lacking everything he could possibly say to either of his brothers. Snowe knew? After all of that, Snowe knew... Had he continued the vacation lie to comfort Twix and Yoshi? Twix had no idea. "Can we... just go to school? Twix whispered, he didn't have a clue what to say to them. Maybe if they just had fun and saw other kids their age they'd be okay. Twix really believed that, or at least he wanted to.

"Yeah, sure." Yoshi agreed, halting his attacks against his brother. Twix surprised him when his wall fell –he acted so tough all the damn time, like it was his sole responsibility to keep them safe, to shoulder every burden, and to know more and have all answers. He was trying to be an adult for his brothers, and the only way he seemed to be able to do it was to treat his brothers like children. It bothered Yoshi, but there was little else Twix could do, and seeing him hurt and confused made Yoshi feel awful for pushing him like that.

* * *

><p>"Sam," Dean sighed heavily, dropping onto the couch next to his gargantuan brother, "I have no idea what to do." It was an incredibly broad statement, and though Sam may not have wanted to hear Dean's troubles, his curiosity would no doubt get the better of him in regards to what the hell it was Dean was talking about.<p>

Sam looked up from a book and placed the bookmark inside, closing it promptly. He knew a 'Sam gimme advice' moment when he heard it. "No idea what to do with what, exactly?" He sighed lightly, glancing over at his brother.

"You remember day one of kindergarten?" Dean knew Sam remembered, it was only yesterday. "You and Bella went on ahead to leave Cass and I to... _discuss_something. He wants to get away from me, and I don't know how to handle it." Dean slumped further into the couch, remembering that time where Cass was lodged in it, needing Dean's help to get up –_needing Dean_.

"Get away?" Sam repeated, sounding a little more concerned. His mind of course jumped straight to 'we need to see other people' kind of thing; the fear from that year that Cass had vanished rose in him again. Dean would be broken without Castiel. "He's… leaving?"

"Not break up, but I guess I've kidnapped him or something. He's like a caged animal, and he wants to get back out there and do something with himself. I figured he was probably right, sucked it up, and told him he could go. I know I don't have the right to keep him here but I can't let go, not and feel like he doesn't care or something. I just don't know what to do." Dean thought back on the other Castiel he'd met years ago, the angel who didn't know him, but was willing to marry him. That angel wouldn't care about all this extra freedom, he would've stayed put and enjoyed Dean's attention. It was all he wanted, and Dean could've easily provided it. '_It's a mistake to compare two different people like that_,' Dean warned himself.

Sam breathed a sigh of relief; glad to hear it wasn't something so serious. Then, of course, the reality of the statement hit him. "Ah," He leaned back on the couch, looking across the room as if it would give him a decent answer to Dean's problem. "Honestly Dean I think this is a good thing," he looked over at his brother with a shrug, "I mean, Bella and I don't spend 24/7 together, we'd drive each other nuts if we did. You've been too dependent on him, Dean. I really think you need this, for you not for him."

It's not that Dean expected Sam to be on Dean's side –even Dean knew he was wrong. He went to Sam for advice, and Sam had a good perspective of Dean's life from the outside –because that's where Dean pushed him to. '_Alright, 12/7 with Cass and 12/7 with Sammy, this won't be so bad_.'

Sam sat forward and looked Dean in eye, "I kinda miss the annoying brother that did whatever he wanted when he wanted. You never needed anyone before, nobody but your car anyway. I know for a fact that Cass loves you just as much as you love him, there isn't any doubt. You don't have to think that he suddenly hates you or something; he just wants some free time to enjoy his own hobbies."

"Do you really miss me?" Dean summarized Sam's broad statement into something that made more sense to him, "I've changed too much, haven't I?" Dean sulked in the couch, staring lazily at his hands clasped in his lap.

"Yes, I miss you Dean." Sam smiled, "I mean, I live in the same house but I never really talk to you anymore. I hang out with Adam, Chuck and the guys, but not you. I mean, I'd say 'let's have a guys night out' but Cass is a guy too and that wouldn't work…" He shrugged, "Whatever the case, you and I need to hang out together."

Dean felt heartwarmed at the sentiment, "Sorry man, I have no idea where my priorities fell. I used to make the biggest stink about family, about being there for you, even if you didn't need me, even if you didn't want me. And now you're spending more time with Adam than me? What the hell have I been doing?" Dean's brow furrowed in thought, "Not to mention you almost lost Bella over me, I never thanked you for that, did I? I'm sorry Sam."

"It's okay, Dean. I'm not freaking out on your or anything, not giving you a hard time either. I just wanted you to know that the rest of us still exist over here." Sam offered a relaxed expression though he had a feeling Dean was far from on the same page.

"But with this whole Cass thing, I don't know if it's a good time for me to abandon it, y'know? I know you're right –I mean, you're right about everything; but specifically about this. I am very dependant on him. I don't know how to describe it, it's like I'm hanging off the side of a cliff. The ledge I was on before I fell was tiny, only enough space of Cass and I to stand on, but I was so freaking _happy_ there. Like it was everything, my whole world and I didn't want anything else. And now I'm barely hanging on, and I can see Cass and all he's saying is 'Y'know, I kinda like the extra space, you can stay there."

Sam rolled his eyes, "I know you're trying to be poetic or something Dean but that's not your style. You and Cass are standing on solid ground, no edges or cliffs or anything, you just have a really shitty sense of vertigo." He laughed a little, "You guys can still be happy if you stop freaking out for ten minutes."

Dean laughed a little too, "Ok, ok, I'm blaming vertigo now. But I'm starting to understand why I'm being such a freak about this. At least a little bit, you know just a minute ago I was saying how I'd pester and hover over you whether you wanted me to or not? Sounds a bit similar, don't you think?" Dean thought back on it, "I think up just obsessive."

"When was the last time you did something that he _loves_ doing? I can't remember, it's always him sacrificing something he really wants to do something a little less so you won't freak out. It was fine for a while but I guess it built up on him." Sam glanced around the room; "It isn't that he doesn't want you there, Dean. He wants you with him; he probably wants you around him all the time like you want him with you. The difference is that you guys have to do what he wants. It isn't that hard, Dean. I know you hate the music and seeing him dance for other people but he likes it."

Sam paused for a moment and nodded, "Yeah, that has always been you. Maybe you should aim that obsessive attention at Tommy? I mean, not to say 'stop loving Cass' but to try and smother your son instead, most parents do." He smirked a little, "You could be the annoying dad asking if he's got clean underwear on or something."

Dean couldn't help but wonder, for just a moment, where the possessive, defensive Castiel went. If someone had told him years ago that Sam would actually _suggest_ to Dean that Dean smother and obsess over their son more than Cass –even if it was worded just like that, Cass still would've cried with fear of not being Dean's favourite. Dean smirked, who knew? Maybe that would happen again.

Sam pat Dean's shoulder reassuringly, "Dude you just have to take a breath and realize that it isn't the end of the world; just take a step back and look at the bigger picture here. You guys are married; you have plenty of time left together there's no need to smother each other at this point, okay? When you grow old with him by your side there'll be plenty of time to lock the other up and hide away from the public." He laughed, "You'll be fine."

Dean wanted to tell Sam that Cass wouldn't grow old, that even when Dean was 70 –no, especially when Dean was 70, and Cass was still young in his twenties with no outlet for his energy that he'd have to go out and do his own thing. Dean could never keep Cass all to himself, and he was starting to wish he'd enjoyed the past few years of it while he still had it. "Maybe you're right. I am overreacting to this whole thing. Cass doesn't want to hear it anymore, and somehow I need to convince myself that it's not because he doesn't care. I keep forgetting that I'm the bad guy here. I need a hobby Sammy, and badly."

"Working on the Impala has always done wonders for you." Sam smirked, "And besides, it's not that you're the bad guy, Dean. Cass is being stupid too. He's going to live for a really long time; I can see it on your face that you thought of it too. Cass is going to live longer than you, which means he should spend as much time with you as he can before you're gone, but he's pushing you away. Cass is older, Dean. Cass should act his age, going out and partying and being stupid like that when he has a family at home is a mistake he can't take back. But amidst all of his stupid choices that you can't control, you can at least keep a handle on how you react to it.

"For example, when Bella was pissed at me for doing something minor and treated me like shit I just kept acting like I always do, treating her nicely and all of that. Once she finally calmed down and looked back at what happened she was the one who felt bad, not me."

"Do you think it would make him feel better and hide how upset I am with this to take him to a club or something? Let him loose while I'm there, so it doesn't look like I'm running away or anything? I could use a few drinks anyway."

"When is it ever better to hide it? If this is how you feel and I can't help, then ask a man with experience. I can call Dad over if you wanted, he'd probably be able to give you some advice." Sam felt weird saying 'let's get dad in on this' but it looked like Dean needed a thorough talking to by the one man he ever admired and looked up to.

"Ok, not hide it, but at least mask it until it's become true. I'll be fine, I guess I just need a little time. I'll fill my spare time with you, the Impala, and the gym. Oh, and thanks Sam, you've been a huge help. Why don't we go out for burgers? Get this separate ball rolling."

Sam laughed, "Separate ball rolling, eh? Alrighty, burgers sounds like a good plan. By the way, doing the whole gym thing will help drag Cass back I think, we've all gotten a little… soft." Sam dismally feels the less firm skin on his abdomen, "I'm gonna join you with that one."

Dean smirked, "Yeah, I could use a gym buddy. We'll get back into shape, starting with five hours a day, three days a week. That's going easy, right?" Dean laughed, and they both knew that their father's marine brutality would seep its way into their workouts. Push hard, get results; it was a tried and true.

Sam grinned, "Sounds about right."

The taller Winchester stood and stretched, "But first terrible diner food… wait a second…" He laughed again, "No worries, I'm not sending you on a diet." He walked to the entrance; glad he could finally help Dean out a little.

"Ah huh, sure you're not. But you've got a point. I'll only eat crap once in a while, time to balance out the grease with some greens. This is gonna be fun." Dean got up off the couch after Sam, stretching his anxious muscles –they knew what 'gym' meant, and they were pre-emptively protesting the wear and tear to come.

Dean slipped his shoes on and turned to call back into the house, "CASS! I'm going out with Sam, be back in a few!"

Cass sighed lightly and called back, "Okay have fun!" He was currently sitting at a computer, catching up on all of the media coverage of the last couple years so he could enter it properly this time.


	15. Chapter 15

"Hey! What's this?" Dean snatched the letter from Tommy's small hand and skimmed it over, "Your class is going to the museum? You're going to see some awesome dinosaurs, you excited?"

"Ah! Dad!" Tommy reached for it, his 6-year old arm way too short to reach it. "Come on, that's mine."

Cass leaned over, a baggy button-up shirt draping his shoulders, hanging above his tight black jeans. "Field trip? No way, you're going on one of those already?" He smirked, "You need a parent to sign that paper, Tommy, your dad's got every right to hold it."

Tommy frowned then gave up, "Fine." He smiled and looked down at the drawing he was colouring for homework, a dinosaur that was scribbled purple. "Dinosaurs are so cool! I can't wait!"

"Kid," Dean sighed, looking down at the purple dinosaur. "If you start singing Barney you're going to get it."

Cass smiled and looked over at Dean with a bit of a laugh, "Well watcha waiting for daddy? Sign the damn thing."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm signing.!" Dean signed off on Tommy's permission slip. "There, signed," Dean triumphantly handed it back to Tommy, "Now put it in your backpack so you don't forget it." Looking down at some extra sheets of paper that were attached to the form, Dean smirked at the sign up tab at the back. "Looks like you guys need some parent escorts. I'm going too!"

Cass scooted to look over Dean's shoulder, "Wha! No way! I wanna go!" he'd never gone on a field trip before either. "Come on, let me go!"

Tommy furrowed his brow, "Only one parent can go though..."

"Then they'll have to fight over it," Sam laughed, "Cass gets out plenty with his band, I think Dean should go." He casually stole the same page from Charlie's hands and signed it, also signing himself up as a chaperone. "I'd love to see Dean in a museum at least once."

Cass pouted but nodded, "Yeah okay," He kissed Dean's cheek, "You can go, babe."

"Awesome," Dean grinned, hoping to be a repeat chaperone in years to come as he filled out the parent-volunteer form. He had nothing better to do, and at least no weirdo in a museum was going to kidnap his son. "But Sam, you're not allowed to start lecturing the class. I don't want to hear a single smart thing come out of your mouth."

"It's a museum, Dean," Sam was wearing his bitch-face that was best accompanied by the matching tone. "People go there to say smart things, get over it."

"No, first graders go there to look at dinosaur exhibits. When do you actually see smart people at a museum? It's almost always grade school field trips!"

Cass licked Dean's earlobe, his tongue flicking over the soft skin, "Don't worry, Dean." Cass smirked, "Six year olds don't care about smart things, they'll find you more fun."

"Yeah, that's because I am more fun. If anything they're going to be terrified of sasquatch here." Dean kissed Cass, rewarding his pesky teasing behaviour.

"Ewww!" Tommy stuck his tongue at them, "Kissing's gross."

"Oh yeah?" Cass grinned, almost maliciously. "Then maybe I should give you a few."

"No mom, no!" Tommy whined, his cheeks red.

Cass didn't listen, landing several kisses on Tommy's head before he darted to Dean's side, "Awe, come on." Cass pouted, "That's not fair. You want daddy more than me?"

"That's not it, but dad won't embarrass me."

"Oh I won't, won't I?" Dean ruffled Tommy's hair and scooped him up, kissing him repeatedly down his slender neck. "You're so cute~" Dean kissed him again, making mock kissing sounds.

"WAAAHH! No dad don't!" Tommy protested, pushing against Dean's face, acting like he didn't enjoy it.

"What?" Dean pretended to be shocked, "You don't like it when I kiss you? You don't like it when I tell you that I love you? Fine then, no more love and kisses for Tommy." Dean put his son back on the floor, testing his mental maturation –small children were amazingly bad at catching reverse psychology.

Tommy crumbled pretty quick, his big blue eyes watering, "No dad, I want love!" he tugged on Dean's arm repeatedly, "Daddy!"

Dean grinned, satisfied and victorious, picking Tommy back up into his arms he kissed him all over again, "Alright, you win –I still love you."

"And it begins," Sam chuckled, stuffing the signed sheets of paper into Charlie's backpack.

"Thank you daddy!" Charlie chimed, happy as a clam. He hadn't acquired the same sense of image that Tommy did, and was more than thrilled to have affection rained on him from his parents.

"No problem, kiddo." Sam ruffled the boy's soft brown hair, the style looking similar to Sam's when he was that age.

"I embarrass you?" Cass looked perturbed, "Really?"

Tommy looked from Cass to Dean quickly, hoping his dad would help him with this one.

"Don't look at your dad, look at me." Cass demanded, a laugh vibrating in his throat.

Tommy closed his eyes, "I'm sorry!" he wasn't sure what else he could say to lower his mother's wrath.

"Fine, but you'd better give your dad a good run for his money."

"Gotcha." Tommy smirked, a glint in his youthful eyes that looked frighteningly similar to the wild one in Cass'.

Cass smiled after the commotion and quickly trotted to Dean's side, "Hey," he whispered so the others couldn't hear. His expression somewhat concerned, "What's Barney and why can't Tommy sing it?" He was totally serious.

Dean bust a gut laughing, which didn't subside for a good ten minutes where he simply kissed Cass on the cheek, "You're awesome, you know that?"

"What? What'd I do?" Cass frowned.

* * *

><p>Lined up at school was the entire grade one class and the few chaperones chosen to join them to the museum. The little ones were climbing into a big yellow bus single file; Tommy had forced himself to the front so he could sit in the back.<p>

The chaperones were standing to the side, letting the kids on first. Sam elbowed Dean gently and nodded toward the three brothers he'd seen on the boys' first day of kindergarten. "Those kids, I saw them last year when we dropped the kids off at school. Keep an eye on them, something's not right."

Dean arched an eyebrow, "Not right how?" He inquired, though dutifully obeying and taking in the sight of the three brothers. He'd heard Sam say something about that, though at the time Dean was far more pre-occupied with Cass and their stifling relationship. The running theory was suspected parental negligence, as far as Dean could remember. "I think those kids are in my group," Dean looked down at the list of names, and a string of three were grouped together, indicating that they were not to be separated.

Tommy pounded on the window from the back of the bus, waving at Dean excitedly.

Dean waved back, giving his son a great big smile.

"Just get on the bus, Snowe." Twix sighed tiredly; they were the last ones in line.

"But..." Snowe stepped away from it timidly, "It's scary, Twix."

"It isn't, I promise." Twix dragged his brother inside, straining as he hauled the boy up the first steps. "Come on."

Snowe's eyes were wide but he started to give in, trusting Twix.

Dean stepped up behind the small boys and gave Snowe an encouraging lift up the stairs, "It's not that bad kiddo," Dean smiled kindly at Snowe, "Not when you've got your big brother watching out for you. You'll be just fine."

Yoshi turned back to look at Snowe and Twix, surprised that Twix didn't protest a stranger laying hands on their little brother. That was damn near a death warrant for anyone else. Maybe it was because the school trusted an adult and Twix trusted the school.

Twix's head snapped around to eye the strange man before sharing a glance with Yoshi. Snowe looked at Dean for only a brief second and seemed to trust him instantly, "'Kay." He nodded with a smile, apparently only needing the go ahead from an adult.

"Thanks," Twix offered cautiously, sending Snowe ahead of him. Snowe trusted this adult, which was okay, though Snowe trusted most people blindly, which was definitely not okay. Twix didn't trust most people, not really. But if he didn't trust the school then he would surely lose his mind before the age of ten. He decided that he could at least do that much for himself, allow that little bit of sanity between 9am and 3pm.

Dean took a seat up front, where the rest of the chaperones were located. The kids would be kids, you shove them on an extended bus trip, they're going to get antsy. Best leave them to their screaming antics. "Hey Sammy!" Dean waved to his brother to come sit down, feeling entirely childish sitting on a school bus.

Sam dropped down next to Dean, he felt a little odd on a school bus after all these years too, much older and bigger than back then. "Don't call me that, Dean. At least not in front of the kids, okay? They have to see us as 'Mr. Winchester' each, that's the rule."

"That's a load of bull," Dean protested. "You and dad may be Mr. Winchesters but not I, not to a bunch of first graders. But if you insist, I'll call you Mr. Winchester, Mr. Winchester." The immaturity of school buses and field trips was getting to Dean, and as his childishness levels grew, one might swear his IQ dropped.

Sam rolled his eyes, wondering if he'd have to ignore his brother for the rest of the field trip.

"Wheels on the bus go round and round," Dean offered jokingly, though never intending to continue singing the god-awful jingle –although the frightened child from earlier seemed amused.

Snowe had managed to get the seat right behind Dean, liking the man's kindness earlier. He bounced in his seat, "What's that song?" He asked eagerly and before he knew it his classmates were singing it, loud and off key.

Sam cringed and glared at his brother maliciously, "Way to go Dean."

"It's not that bad, they're having fun," Dean didn't bother to cover his ears –they weren't choir kids that much was certain, but the unison of a bunch of children having a good time was hard to be mad at.

Sam glanced back at the bus full of kids and realized that he'd be responsible for a whole crew of them, not just Charlie or both Winchester kids, "We may be in over our heads," he muttered as he looked back at Dean. "How many kids do we each have to look after?"

"About six or seven," the teacher smiled at them, very glad to see two attractive men in the group though not so glad that they were parent chaperones. Obviously married with kids.

"Wow," Sam nodded and laughed a little, "I barely manage one, let's see how this goes." He was joking, of course. Sam was very good at managing the boys; apparently he was built for this kind of thing.

"What's another song?" Snowe stood up and leaned over the back of Sam and Dean's seat, large curious eyes aimed at the older Winchester.

"Snowe, sit down." Twix demanded, forcing his brother back into the seat.

"Sorry," Snowe sat down then looked back at Dean again, not giving up on his new quest to sing songs all the way there, much to both of his brothers' dismay.

Dean swiveled in his seat to look back at Snowe, "You want another one, huh? Let's see..." Dean's expression turned thoughtful as he tried to dig up some children's tunes, "K, here's another: The ants go marching one by one, hurrah, hurrah, The ants go marching one by one, hurrah, hurrah..." Dean waited for the song to catch, and the bus of was off and singing again.

Dean received a flat expression from both Sam and Twix as Snowe began singing the song along with the rest of the bus. "If you start the 'bottles of beer' song," Sam spoke through grit teeth, "I'll kill you."

Dean just flashed the most sincere smile he could in Sam's direction, "I forgot about that one."

* * *

><p>The kids were standing in a crowd outside the bus as the teacher explained that they'd be separated into groups and assigned a chaperone, and read out the lists. Tommy and Charlie were paired with their respective parents, and Charlie couldn't help but sulk a bit. He liked being in Tommy's group, but at least he had his dad.<p>

The teacher spouted names of chaperones and listed students that would be with each one. Twix listened intently for their names, his focus almost tiresome. "Mr. Dean Winchester," he repeated to help memorize it, though after hearing it once it was going to remain in his memory. He also remembered hearing the tall man on the bus say 'Dean', referring to the guy who had helped push Snowe on the bus. "That guy," he took Snowe's hand and glanced at Yoshi to make sure he was following, leading them to Dean's side.

Tommy smiled up at Dean, pumped his dad was his group leader. He hoped Dean wouldn't bug him like he had the other day, signing the papers and all that. Tommy had started to make friends and didn't want to look silly in front of them.

Dean looked at his small group of kids, "Alright, you kids can just call me Dean. We're going to spend a lot of time together, and I'm responsible for you kids, so if there's anything wrong, you let me know right away, alright? Good, now I think we're supposed to start with the planetarium..." Dean looked down at the crumpled piece of paper that was his agenda for the day.

"Uhm, Dean?" Snowe put his hand up sheepishly, waiting for acknowledgement. Twix knew that expression and sighed lightly.

"Can we find the bathroom first?" He asked for his brother, knowing Snowe was slightly self-conscious about having a weaker bladder despite that being normal for a six year old.

Dean looked from Twix to Snowe, realizing that there were some limitations on kids that he'd have to be aware of. Bathroom breaks were one, and they happened to have very short legs, so walking speed would have to be monitored as well. "Awesome..." he sighed.

"Yeah I gotta pee too." Tommy looked for a sign with a triangular man on it.

Dean couldn't help but think back on that episode of South Park where Stan had to coach peewee hockey, and every player on the team had to go at once. "Yeah, bathroom first, then planetarium." Dean started off in the direction of the washrooms, the benefit of reading and height guiding him better than Tommy's search for triangle men.

Sam watched Dean's group depart and looked at the schedule in his hands, they had to be back in this area around 11:30 so the kids could go for lunch. _'A McDonald's? Disgusting, I'm not feeding my kid that...'_ He thought, making a face. _'Whatever, I still have to start this museum trip.'_ He looked at the bright eyed expressions and smiled, lulled into a false sense of security, "Okay, who wants to go see the airplane set ups?" He was pretty impressed with this museum, it had a little bit of everything; though he was still unsure of whether or not it was worth the entrance fee.

"I do! I do!" Charlie shouted; hand up in the air jumping up and down to get his dad's attention. Having dad along on the field trip was the coolest thing when you were all of six years old, and soon enough Charlie would be distracted and entertained by the museum displays and forget Sam was even there.

Throughout Dean's little museum tour he found that most of the kids wanted to stare at the displays and attractions, all but Twix who stopped to actually read each little inscription and then proceeded to ask him questions.

Dean watched Twix and the other children, himself not being too terribly intrigued by the museum at all. '_What is up with this kid? Is he like Sam 2.0, boy genius?_' Dean found the kid a little more than odd, he bordered on broken.

The dinosaur exhibit was particularly confusing for the red eyed boy, "I don't understand something," he stood next to Dean as he stared up at a giant skeletal recreation of a t-rex, "I've read in some places that the Earth is millions of years old, yet in others they say it's barely even six thousand." He glanced at where Snowe and Yoshi were, the little one entirely enthralled with the set ups right along with Tommy and several other kids. "What's the truth?" Twix finished with the actual question, looking back at Dean.

Dean stared at Twix dumbfounded for a moment, "Aren't you a little young to be asking those questions?" Dean stalled –what should he say? He was never particularly religious, but his mate was a freaking nephelim and he had two angels of house guests. They'd dealt with demon magic and dimension travel, and the existence of heaven was all but confirmed to him. But that didn't mean that the bible was true and the earth was eternally young.

Twix hadn't considered that, "Am I…" he looked down at himself; he didn't feel too young. Was there something wrong with his question?

"It depends on what you believe. No one knows for sure which is right, and no matter which answer you pick, you're going to be forced to defend your choices. You pick whatever you want, but you'd better have a reason for picking it." Dean was proud of his answer, successfully avoiding giving one at all.

Twix frowned, his small forehead furrowing in thought. "You…" he looked up at Dean accusingly, "You didn't really answer the question…" He sighed, "But I think I get it, thank you." Those bright red eyes shifted back to the dinosaurs, "Can I just not pick one? That seems easier… but then I wouldn't know how old the Earth is. Do I have to believe all the God stuff too? I don't think I believe it." It'd been a while since he was able to talk to an adult like this, actually he couldn't really remember the last time.

"You're right, I didn't," Dean's face fell, so much for victory, the kid was still just a kid, but way too... smart? Mature? Jaded? Dean didn't know. "Not pick one? Are you afraid of defending your choices? Well..." Dean thought about the God question, '_Can I really talk to a kid about this? Seems odd_,' "You don't have to believe in God –by the sounds of it you already don't, you just say you do for other people's sake. No one can make you believe anything, if you doubt it then you doubt it. And that question answers your other question too. It's the bible thumpers that say the earth is only a few thousand years old: created by God. Science had shown a bunch of other stuff that states that the earth is millions of years old. So you can believe science or you can believe God, and now that I think about it, you can also just not give a crap. Works well enough for me."

Twix nodded, "Then I'll believe science, it hasn't done anything wrong by me yet." He didn't like the idea of there being a god out there somewhere that did nothing to help him when He was apparently supposed to; science at least didn't give a shit one way or the other. "Thank you, Mr. Winchester." Twix gave a quick smile up at the man before looking back at his brothers, as if they'd get hurt if he weren't keeping an eye on them.

Dean looked down at Twix, getting the very real feeling that this boy didn't have anyone else to ask these questions.

Tommy waved at Dean and ran to him, "Isn't it the coolest thing ever! A giant dino skeleton! I wish mom could see it too!"

Somehow his brilliant son seemed a little less brilliant now, and as far as Dean was concerned, that wasn't necessarily a bad thing. "Yeah Tommy, I'm sure mommy would've loved to see it."

* * *

><p>Everyone piled back into the school bus around noon, they weren't going far and of course they'd be back for the educational explanations later. The teacher had set up so the kids would be lead by a real tour guide for the last portion of their trip, explaining all the interesting things.<p>

Sam frowned as they walked into the McDonald's down a few blocks, glad he'd brought extra lunches for himself and Charlie. He handed the paper bag to his son and sat down at table, also glad that he wasn't waiting in that line up.

Tommy tugged at Dean's sleeve, "Can I have a Happy Meal with nuggets?" He pleaded, not wanting to have to go hungry or eat healthy like Charlie.

Dean laughed, having never been one to agree with Sam's rabbit food diet. How the hell'd he even get that big on vegetables? "Don't you even worry Tommy, cheap greasy food is A-ok in my books. What kind of sauce do you want with your nuggets?"

"Uhmm… Barbecue!" He cried happily, excited he gets to eat McDonalds.

Twix lead his brothers to a side table, watching their classmates excitedly spend their parents' money. "I'm hungry..." Snowe placed his hands over his grumbling tummy.

"Sorry Snowe," Twix sighed and slumped onto the table, "I've got no money."

"I know," Snowe watched Dean, "But he does."

"Snowe, wait a sec-"

But the dark haired boy was already trotting across the tiled floor. "Dean," he started feeling a little uneasy about asking but damn it he wanted some French fries. "Can you uhm..." he fidgeted, "buy me some food too? Just this once?"

Dean looked at Snowe, the adorably young face accentuated by round, pleading eyes. He remembered Sam at the beginning of the trip, telling him to watch these kids. Something was definitely up, they didn't have any food to speak of, and Dean started to wonder if they ate much at all.

"I'm sorry," Twix took Snowe's hand again and gave a quick bow of his head to Dean, glancing at his brother scolding, "Come on, back to the table."

Snowe pouted, "But I'm hungry, we didn't bring a lunch."

'_That's because we don't have lunches to bring.'_ Twix wanted to say but kept it as a thought instead.

"No, it's ok." Dean reached over to Twix's shoulder to reassure him. "I've got your lunches. What do you kids want, cheeseburgers or chicken nuggets?" Dean pat Tommy on the back, "I'll be right back Tommy."

Twix flinched at the touch, not used to such a big hand on him. Dean's words were kind, he meant them no harm and even wanted to feed them. Twix glanced at him, his eyes a mixture of uncertainty and thanks. Snowe squealed for joy and hugged Dean's leg, "Thank you! Thanks so much!" He cooed, nuzzling his face against the rough denim material.

Dean would've been lying to say that this kid came anywhere close to throwing him off balance. Snowe's grip was frail and weak –physically speaking; otherwise he poured every emotion he had through that badge on his sleeve and into that hug. Dean squatted low and quick and picked Snowe up, heading to the counter to order. The boy was small, and far too skinny. Dean suspected they all were, pulling Sammy's and wearing too-baggy clothes to hide it.

Twix's eyes were fixed on Dean as he carried Snowe, distrust practically seeping out of him; he didn't want someone carrying his brother off, especially since Twix was very incapable of getting him back currently.

Snowe, on the other hand, giggled like crazy in Dean's arms, incredibly pleased to be up so high like that again.

Tommy stared at the boys and shrugged, his dad was awesome and everyone should know it.

"And you're not telling me no," Dean eyed Twix, "Now let's get you kids some food." Dean led the triplets to the counter and ordered their lunches. Upon collecting the happy meal boxes, Dean slipped a twenty into Twix's lunch before handing the tray down to the boy. "Here, eat up." Dean grinned and ruffled Snowe's hair, "Remember what I said: If there's _anything_ wrong, you just let me know."

Snowe beamed, "I know, thanks so much." He dug into the happy meal immediately after sitting down at his table, and froze as soon as it opened. He reached inside gingerly and slowly lifted up a toy car wrapped in plastic, "Is… Is this mine? Can I have it?" he looked at his brothers quickly, his little fingers gripping the toy as if it were a lifeline.

"Of course," Tommy almost sneered from the counter next to Dean, thinking it was obvious that the toy in a happy meal was part of the deal.

"Oh wow! I got a toy!" Snowe, entirely unfazed by the tone, squeed with joy and proceeded to try and unwrap it. He quickly encountered trouble, as he was too weak to do it; his tongue sticking out due to his concentration. "Twix…" He whined, lifting the thing up to his brother.

"After you eat," Twix scolded, opening his own meal. His eyes widened at the sight inside, a crisp, real $20 bill waiting for him inside. His eyes shot up to Dean immediately, "I'll be right back, guys." He clenched the bill in his small hand and walked to Dean's side.

"Mr. Winchester…" he paused for a moment, "I don't know what to say, why would you give this to me?" He unfurled his small fingers, eyeing the bill curiously. He knew what he wanted to say, why was it so hard? He'd said it several times before already, though now he was really feeling it. "Thank you," he bit his bottom lip, tears welling up in his tired eyes, "Thank you," his gaze shifted up to Dean's and a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.

Dean ruffled Twix's silver hair, which he was now certain was silver due to stress. "Don't worry about it kid, just remember to talk to me if you need anything. I'm not a freaking mindreader." Dean smiled, feeling the stirrings of pride swell in his chest. And the gears in his head started turning, '_What if I volunteered for Big Brothers and Big Sisters? I could help kids like that all the time, I seem to be pretty good with them_.' Dean chewed his double quarter pounder with extra cheese and bacon rather thoughtfully. Twix quickly trotted back to his seat, his hunger getting the better of him.

After placing his order for a cheeseburger happy meal, Yoshi had said suspiciously little. Every time Dean was friendly with Snowe Yoshi would shoot a look to Twix, who looked tense but did nothing. On the bus, with those awful songs –did nothing. In front of all their classmates with the embarrassment of no money and no lunches –nothing. And now Dean carrying Snowe around, like he was Dean's kid or something, and there wasn't a thing Twix _could_ do, even if he wanted. –what was worse: Snowe was having more fun with this strange man than he ever did at home. And there was nothing Twix could do about that either.

Yoshi sighed and muttered, "I hate this life." Something had to change; they couldn't just keep on like this, pretending everything would be ok while they wasted away. It seemed like the two Mr. Winchesters had a lot of cash, and Yoshi hatched an idea.

"He's weird." Tommy furrowed his brow at Twix then looked up at his dad.

Dean looked down at Tommy and swallowed, "Nah, he's not bad. You two should be friends; I think you could learn a lot from him."

"No way, he's too weird." Tommy started munching on his fries, "No one's sure what to think of him yet, he's no fun. Snowe's kinda dumb too. Yoshi's okay."

"Am I?" Yoshi asked casually, sliding his tray onto the table next to Tommy. "Do you mind if I join you?"

"Not at all," Dean answered quickly, hoping the other two would join.

Tommy almost choked on his food when he heard Yoshi's voice, knowing he'd just been caught insulting the boy's brothers. "Uh…." He had little to say, knowing Yoshi could be defensive yet at the same time care very little. Tommy scooted over for Yoshi to sit, also knowing that Dean would say yes.

"Thanks," Yoshie slid in beside Tommy, despite the other boy's lack of vocabulary. "So Tommy, what was your favourite part of the museum?"

"The dinosaurs," Tommy smirked happily, "They were so _big_, it was awesome! What about you?"

Dean shook his head and kept eating, something bothered him, nagging at the back of his mind, '_There's definitely something wrong with these kids_.' He glanced over at Twix and Snowe, who seemed inseparable throughout the entire trip so far, and Dean wondered how much of that stuck after school hours as well.

Twix looked over and sighed lightly, Yoshi was always pushing his limits whether he did it on purpose or not. "Come on Snowe, let's go eat with Yoshi."

"Okay!" Snowe was more than happy to sit next to Dean, though he struggled awkwardly to get his short self onto the chair. He was not the most coordinated of people.

Twix grabbed both of their lunches and followed, finding an empty spot to plop himself down in, feeling a little strange after he'd run away in such a hurry before.

"Nice of you boys to join us," Dean gestured off handedly. He rubbed Snowe on the head, mussing up his fine hair. '_This kid's got way too much pride for a six year old, and his brother seems to be conniving or something_,' Dean looked over at Yoshi, who was suddenly buddies with Tommy. '_Maybe keeping an eye on them was a warning, not a head's up for their awkward social behaviour._'

Snowe giggled and went back to his happy meal. Twix only gave a quick nod then looked over at Yoshi, wondering what his brother could possibly be up to.

"Dad," Charlie sat anxiously, wanting to ask a question that he knew he shouldn't. He scratched the back of his ankle with his toes, swinging his short legs back and forth under his chair. "Why can't I have French fries and burgers? Uncle Dean let's Tommy eat them..." Charlie poked at his salad for emphasis.

"Because you're six years old and burgers are very unhealthy, Uncle Dean and Tommy are gonna get fat and you'll be much better off. Trust me." Sam looked at the food in front of Tommy, not seeing why everyone always wanted to eat the shitty food and dislike his salads all the time. "As long as you're eating off of my money, you eat when I say you can eat." He smiled, not taking the 'I'm your father tone, you must listen' but managing to get his point across well enough.

"But it's not your money, it's mom's money." Charlie pouted again.

Sam looked up at Charlie, "Stop arguing with me and eat your salad." He paused for a moment, _'I sound like dad…'_ "If you eat your salad I'll get you some dessert, how's that sound?" He didn't want to be John but he didn't want a fat lazy kid either, or a kid as bad as Dean (not that Dean was fat but he definitely wasn't healthy either).


	16. Chapter 16

**Author's Note:**

**Heya everyone, sorry for such a late update :P Was waiting on matsu (co-author), she was moving and things got messy and now here were again! Hoping to get this on track once more, though my school work in college is picking up so it may be slow going for a week or two. Hang in there! I hope you're still enjoying the stories XD**

* * *

><p>"Hey dad," Tommy dropped next to Dean one night, he was about ten years old now, his tone on the verge of a question, "Is mom famous?" He lifted up a magazine that showed Castiel and the rest of PMA as the center spread, it was definitely a good shot of the nephelim. "'Cause he's in a magazine with Gabriel and the others. I know mom sings and goes out once in a while but I didn't know he was that popular."<p>

Dean sighed, on the verge of frustration. It hadn't been so bad, letting Cass onto full time band work. Well, Dean knew better than to say it like that, he didn't 'let' Cass do anything, it wasn't up to him to grant permission, it was Cass' choice. When Tommy was in school, Dean would spend time in the recording studio to hang out with the others, watch the practices and eat all their little hors d'oeurves snacks. Sometimes it was really funny, Gabriel would do something ridiculous, causing chain reactions and the general falling apart of practice. Dean actually found it to be a lot of fun, and wasn't so put off by Cass being in a band.

But when it came to letting Tommy know about it, that was a completely different story. What would a near teenager do with that information, that his mom (and not his dad) was famous and popular? He might start playing favourites, he might even like Cass' music (not to say that it was bad to like Cass' music). Dean hadn't wanted to expose Tommy to too much of Cass' spotlight life, not to mention Cass wasn't exactly modest during performances.

"That's 'cause your parents disagree on that note," Sam smirked as he walked through the living room, leaning over the couch, "They don't think you should be allowed to listen to that kind of stuff yet, so you haven't heard anything."

Dean mentally cleared his throat to the effect of *cough*_understatement_*cough*.

"You're mom's super famous," Jo piped in from her laptop across the room, "He's gorgeous, talented, popular, and best of all he's all that and still living here."

At first Dean figured it was a matter of 'here we go again,' combined with an eyeroll that would constitute his reply, but that last bit really rubbed him the wrong way, "What's so unbelievable about him still living here?" Dean snapped the question out, not intending to attack Jo, but he had to know the reasoning behind a sentient like that.

"Well it's a small town, for one." Jo glanced at Dean, "And for another he has a family, you and Tommy, so I'm shocked he's still living in a house with so many other people in it, that's all. You gotta get over that abandonment thing, Dean. Very unattractive."

"Like you're doing an amazing job with Gabriel?" Sam shot back, defensive of Dean's mental state.

She stuck her tongue out at him, "Whatever, Sam."

"But the radio said that mom's band was touring in Europe, he only left an hour ago so how's he gonna make it there in time?"

Sam wasn't sure Dean or Cass had mentioned Castiel's species to their son, his eyes trained on Dean now. "I'll let you field that one."

Dean's eyes widened a little, what was worse, finding out you were adopted or finding out that you're not human? Definitely the last one, and now it was up to Dean to cover that base, or skilfully avoid the topic. "Tommy, If you'll excuse daddy, I just need to make a quick phone call." Dean darted from the room and called Cass' cell and stopped when he realized that the cell phone broadband in Europe didn't support north American cell phones –all alone to reveal a secret that wasn't really his.

"Tommy, your mommy's an angel," Dean figured he'd skip the mixed blood thing, that was too confusing for now. "He's beautiful, and gorgeous, and has an amazing voice and some pretty nifty talents. He'll make it in time for the tour, don't you worry." '_Please no more question, please no more questions_.'

Tommy's eyes sparkled at the thought, "Mom's an angel? That's awesome! Does he have wings too?" He leaned forward with a smile, "Do I have wings? Am I an angel too?"

Dean smiled and picked Tommy up, holding his dear boy close, "Yup, your mom's an angel. And he has wings too. And you? Well... We don't know yet, you could eventually." In all honesty, Dean didn't have a clue what a ¼ angel would have. Dean expected a longer lifespan, and probably strength, but now he was heading toward the realm of comic books and he really needed to keep his world straight.

"I wanna see mom's wings when he gets home!" Tommy exclaimed, "That's so awesome!"

Sam went to Charlie's side; peering at the book the boy was reading for a moment, glad his son was the intellectual type. "Charlie," He pat the boy's shoulder, "Could you do me a favour? Watch Tommy at school, okay? He can be a little… impulsive."

"Dad, I know you're trying to help, but you're not helping." Charlie shut his book and took out his pocket dictionary to look up the word impulsive. "Impulsive: **1.** characterized by actions based on sudden desires, whims, or inclinations rather than careful thought, example: _an impulsive man_. **2.** based on emotional impulses or whims; spontaneous, example: _an impulsive kiss_." Charlie looked up at Sam, "Ok, I'll watch Tommy, but if he's acting out of stupidity I won't be fast enough to stop him."

Sam stared down at Charlie for a moment, a smirk tugging at his lips. He was proud his son was using a pocket dictionary, though he wasn't too enthusiastic about the 'I'll try' answer with the grumpy tone of voice. "Just do what you can," Sam rubbed him on the head, "I know he can be a handful."

"A handful is right, just like the book says –Tommy doesn't think before he acts. He's too impulsive, he needs to learn to think more." Charlie left his book and dictionary at the table, "Can I stay up longer dad? Please?"

"No Charlie, you're going to bed at a decent hour tonight; there's school tomorrow and if you stay up all the time you won't be able to concentrate." He pat his boy on the shoulder and continued to his laptop for some entertainment.

Later that night, Castiel and the band fluttered in; always just outside the door to use it as if they were normal people. Tommy had refused to go to bed so he was up and waiting for Cass' return. "Mom! Mom! Is it true?" He cried, running across the house to hug Cass' midsection warmly, "Are you an angel?"

Dean leaned against the living room doorway, a sheepish expression painted on his face. He knew he didn't consult Cass about telling Tommy, they'd never even discussed it, or the implications of it, or what the possible consequences might be to Tommy. Dean still didn't know most of it, but he'd gone ahead and told him anyway.

Cass laughed a little, glancing up looking for Dean as confirmation. "Yeah, baby, I'm an angel." He knelt down and kissed Tommy's cheek, hugging him close, "You seem pretty excited, what happened?"

"Dad told me you're an angel, that's so cool!" Tommy squeaked, a wide grin on his face.

Dean smiled; he loved how excited Tommy was about this, like it was the best thing he'd ever heard.

"I'm glad you think so," Cass pet his son's head, standing again as he moved over to Dean. "Hey, babe." He kissed Dean to complete the greeting, the glint in his eyes indicating he'd like to 'head to bed' soon. "Hope everything was okay while I was out?"

Dean smiled at the kiss, eyes following Cass as he moved, trailing over that sweat-sheened body. "Yeah," he answered absently, "Everything was just super." Dean cleared his throat, "Ok Tommy, mommy's home and you said hi and asked your questions –now it's time for bed." Step 1: Get kid out of hair, Step 2: whisk Cass away. There is a method to the madness.

"But I wanna see the wings!" Tommy protested angrily.

Cass' eyes were on Dean, his hips swaying ever so slightly as he slowly backed toward the stairs, "Not tonight, baby, I'll show you tomorrow okay?"

Tommy pouted, "That's no fair, I wanna see now."

"Don't argue with your parents, Tommy." Sam's voice barked over him, "Go to bed," Sam had already long put Charlie in bed, he had no excuse to stay up and wait for Cass and 'but Tommy's staying up' wasn't a good enough one.

Tommy looked at Sam and nodded sadly, not wanting to argue with Uncle Sam any more than he had to.

Cass wanted to ask why Sam got more respect out of their kid than they did but figured it had something to do with the demanding tone. He was too busy flirting with his husband to care terribly much anyway.

Dean half watched his wife and brother whittle away at Tommy's stubbornness while keeping his eyes glued to Cass' swaying form, wishing the kid would just up and go to bed already. Sam seemed to have won, and Dean wasn't going to wait for him to un-win. "Up you go," Dean hoisted Tommy off the floor and began carrying him up to his room, "I'll tuck you in and then I don't want to hear a peep until morning, you got that?"

Tommy grumbled, "Fine, dad." He didn't have much choice but give in; Dean was far stronger than him.

Cass smiled and stretched, looking at the others, "I'll catch you guys tomorrow," he trotted up the stairs excitedly, darting into their room to get ready. After every performance he felt so good, like a pressure had been lifted from him. The adrenaline ran its course through him once the night was over, his excitement and fear all pouring through his limbs and throughout his body, nesting in his chest and ramming his heart against his ribcage. He could still hear the pounding in his ears as he threw his shirt off and onto the floor. The best part of each night was that he had someone to come home to, that Dean would be there to hold him.

That night before leaving, Castiel had been staring at his calendar. That night was the anniversary of when Castiel first slept with Dean, the first time they laid together and the first time he'd ever opened up to someone. It was also the night that Michael threatened them both.

Cass closed his eyes, remembering how badly he'd wanted to stay with Dean, to have Dean hold him every night and that would be enough for him. Deep down, Cass knew that he hadn't changed much. If someone were to take Dean away from him he'd feel the same heartache as back then. He smiled to himself, glad he'd found the love of his life.

Dean walked into the bedroom, "Sorry that took so long." A hopeful smile played across Dean's expression –the best thing about Cass' performances was the sex drive. It was awkward to have his mate come back all hyped up and horny when Dean hadn't been around at all, but that was no reason to waste it. And Dean knew better by now than to get caught up thinking about it, because that was just depressing. Five years of rigorous and unrelenting work outs left Dean in great shape, and he _knew_ Cass wanted a piece.

Cass turned around, stripped down to his tight pants that were left precariously unbuttoned. "I'm sure you are," he teased, strutting up to his partner and wrapping his arms around Dean's shoulders, pressing their hips together to feel the friction between them. "Mmm…" he moaned lightly, his lips barely touching Dean's, their breath warming one another.

Dean had never quite been able to shake the mentality that Cass felt like an expensive whore after a performance. Coming back home horny as hell, and blatantly demanding sex in his own, over-enthusiastic way. But that's not to say it was a bad thing, that was what attracted Dean in the first place –he liked dirty, kinky people. Flirting at the club that first time, nearly making out in the limo during an intense game of chicken, getting it on in public... It was _hot_, and the few years of smothering Cass into a mothering role had nearly destroyed his inner whore, and Dean was grateful they were able to salvage that –the sex was so much better.

Dean kept the distance between their lips with a smirk, wanting nothing more than to take those soft pieces of flesh against his own. He ground his hips forward, providing himself with some much desired friction and letting Cass know how much he wanted this.

Cass smiled, glad to know he was barking up the right tree; "Today was amazing," he whispered, stunning blue eyes opening in full; all they could see was Dean, "But this is by far my favourite part." He kissed Dean feverishly, his cheeks flushing red against the feel of the other man. He was definitely ready for some passionate sex but he wanted to enjoy having his partner there with him; if all Castiel wanted was mindless sex then he wouldn't have settled down.

Dean felt the deliverance of a well timed kiss and happily partook of the frantic pace that was being set, wrapping his arms firmly around Cass' slender body and holding him tight against his own. His tongue reached out into the warmth of Castiel's open mouth as Dean's hips continued to rock forward, continuing the stimulation down below. Breaking off the kiss, Dean smiled broadly, lustfully at his lover before him, "This'll come as no surprise, but this is my favourite part of today too."

Cass' attention was focused on Dean, his hands trailing down his lover's chiseled body, sliding over the perfectly defined hips and slipping closer to his prize. Of all the hobbies Dean could have chosen, working out was the one he picked. Cass was enthralled with it, of course. The moment he'd heard what Dean and Sam were up to he was excited.

"You are gorgeous…" he stripped the shirt from Dean's back, re-exploring the scenery and muscle tension tastefully. Cass pushed Dean onto the bed and hooked his thumbs into the tight pants that he'd unbuttoned earlier. "I think it's only fair I give you a private performance," he hummed teasingly, sashaying his hips smoothly; his hands tugging the clinging fabric lower with each movement.

Dean moaned with pleasure under Castiel's exploratory touch, eager to get going, to get Cass naked and spread eagle on their bed. Make the whole house shake with their raucous love making, scare the kids into thinking there was a burglar in the house. Dean's wide, lust-blown eyes watched Castiel tenaciously, like a hunter watching its prey, planning its fate. "Fair is fair," Dean replied, only half aware of his words –who'd shut down a strip tease?

When dancing for Dean it was much more effective to keep the music _off_, since they didn't agree on the style. Cass had enough music in his mind to be able to do it without, besides he'd rather please Dean than please himself with these personal dances.

Before either of them knew it the foreplay was done and the lube was out; Castiel face down on the bed with his ass up, displayed like an offering to his god. Both men were slicked up and Dean was pounding into him, his hard leaking cock slamming into Cass' prostate and showing him who was boss; who was the man in this relationship. Cass loved every second of it, his own dick aching and throbbing into the sheets beneath him, a thick pre-cum forming a wet spot around his swollen tip.

Castiel enjoyed being loud, it released sexual tension, made it more fun to express what Dean was doing to him in the most audible way he could. Pleading was a favourite of Dean's, Castiel knew that quite well. Usually Dean would have to demand it of him but this time, instead of being stubborn and doing things on his own, Castiel begged Dean to do it. Pleaded for a reach around, whining for that extra stimulation to get him off in time with Dean. His whimpering was increasing, quick shallow gasps between pleas, his muscles tightening on Dean as he bucked backward into Dean's thrusts.

"Please, baby please… Oh god Dean…" Several expletives and nonsensical babble left his mouth though it was expected that neither of them knew what he was saying even if he'd recited famous quotes.

"What's th'matter baby? Need some more?" Dean's words were teasing, threatening not to oblige, but his hand moved to accommodate Castiel's needs, taking a firm hold of stiffer-than-stiff erection standing painfully at attention between his lover's legs. The tight-ass grip clamping down around Dean's over-stimulated cock reminded him he didn't have much time before he collapsed in a fucked out, sweaty mess, and he got to work with a couple of firm and deliberate strokes to Castiel's prized possession.

Castiel cried out as his body shuddered with pleasure, his release hot and messy, dripping onto the bed as he slumped down into it, his rear still elevated for Dean to finish the last lazy thrusts before pulling out.

Dean was spent, but couldn't help but stop to admire the view. '_Expensive whore, but I love him_.' Dean planted a trail of soft kisses down Castiel's exposed spine, his hand trailing down with the kisses and resting firmly on Castiel's ass before quickly rising and falling with a profound slap. Dean dropped to the bed beside Cass and pulled him in tight, kissing him lightly on the forehead.

Cass moaned lightly, it had been a while since Dean spanked him like that. He snuggled against Dean, preferring to shower the next morning; something about enjoying sleeping in the mess left while they made love, a physical proof. Cass nuzzled his finely stubbled face into the nape of Dean's neck, scratching it slightly as he did so.

"Do you know what today is?" Cass whispered contentedly, his breathing light and satisfied.

Dean was more than ready to nod off into sleep when Cass caught his attention, "Uh..."

"I haven't pointed it out in the past but it's the anniversary of when we first made love," Cass looked up, a sort of softness in his gaze. "I… Remember how special it was back then, how we both felt. I want you to know… I love you more than anything, and I want that feeling to come back." Cass kissed him gently.

Dean couldn't help the immense guilt that overtook him. They'd both been entertaining memories of their first time together, but where all Dean could think about was the sex and lust, Cass was remembering the feelings and emotions, the state of death that Dean was willing to put himself in for Cass' sake, and the protective nature Dean had taken. Dean could hardly believe he called Cass a whore. "I agree," Dean's words were intentionally curt, trying to avoid the choked out sound that would accompany a sob of guilt.

"Can we start over?" Cass' voice was light as he clung to his husband, "No more grudges or holding things in, just a clean slate." He brushed his cheek against Dean's skin again, eyes closed.

"God yes," Dean sighed, "I wouldn't want anything else." Dean craned his neck to plant another soft kiss on Cass, "I love you."

Cass blushed and kissed back, slow and deep. "I love you too, Dean. Everything will be perfect, no more 'pre-Madonna' stuff, promise." He knew he'd been a brat throughout their marriage and both of them were tired of trying to make shit up to the other. Easiest solution; forgive and forget. "Wanna go to a club tomorrow night?" He whispered, "Just you and me on the dance floor, for old times' sake? Or maybe we could all go karaoke-ing? That'd be fun." Cass wanted to do stuff with Dean again; PMA was famous and awesome and it would still be that even if he spent some time with his husband so what was the big hurry? Besides, majority of its members were almost immortal anyway.

Cass smiled, regardless of what answer would be he didn't matter; he and Dean were ok.

===The next day….

Cass and Dean always tried to pick Tommy up from school together, they sat side by side in the Impala, watching the front doors of the school as the kids poured out. Sam had gotten to the point where he knew Dean would be at the school to get Tommy anyway, so he asked Dean to pick Charlie up too.

"We gotta go on vacation or something," Cass muttered, sliding over the seat and leaning down, resting his head on Dean's shoulder. "Like go to a nice resort; you, me, Sam, Bella, and the kids."

"Ok, but after that we need to take another vacation, just you, me, Sam, and Bella with no kids," Dean laughed. Kids on vacation isn't very relaxing, but at the same time it would be nice to take Tommy out places, give him good memories.

Cass giggled, "A second honeymoon too, I want to have sex on a beach." His fingers traced Dean's thigh suggestively.

Dean's eyes rolled back in their sockets, not from the cliché 'sex on a beach' line, but from the surging sensations Cass' suggestive touch administered. In the front seat of the car, outside their son's school, Dean shuddered and couldn't wait for home.

The backdoor opened and slammed shut as Tommy angrily crawled inside, buckling up as per the rules.

Dean shot Cass a wary look, something wasn't right here.

"How was your day?" Cass glanced backward, not quite sure he should be asking.

"Leave me alone." Tommy pouted, bringing his knees up and grumpily dropping his head onto them.

"Tommy," Cass turned around, "What happened?"

"The kids at school are mean, they laughed at me when I said I was an angel like my mom." Tommy's tone was an accusing one, his glare aimed at his parents for telling him something he'd get mocked for.

Cass opened his mouth for a second to answer but found he had nothing; he glanced at Dean for a little help on this one.

"Tommy, you are an angel, at least partially anyway. And there's no reason for you to let those kids get to you. If they're being jerks, punch 'em." Dean was trying to be encouraging, he loved his son, and he was angry with the class for laughing, but who would seriously believe in angels? Dean knew full well that he'd have been one of the bullies in this situation.

"No don't punch them." Cass shoved Dean playfully then looked back at Tommy, "Try talking it out with them, or call them on their bluff. You don't want to start hitting back."

Tommy nodded at Cass though his mind circled more toward punching the other kids to show them who was boss. The thought sounded pretty good at that moment.

"And then they made fun of me for mom being a boy, why are you guys fags?"

"HEY!" Dean shouted in protest, not against Tommy but the homophobic sentiment. It also stung more than Dean cared to admit, being called a fag. He'd avoided the stigma throughout all of high school, and now the first time he really heard it directed at him was from his son.

"Watch your mouth!" Cass snapped back, "Where did you hear that from?"

"That's what the guys at school said…" Tommy whined, bunching up his shoulders and scrunching his nose.

"Well they're just bullies, there's nothing wrong with your dad and I being together." Cass hadn't ever had to defend this before, he wasn't even aware that it was an issue until now.

Dean refused to put the car in gear, partially because Charlie wasn't there yet and partially because this needed sorting out. Dean pulled himself from the drivers seat and threw Tommy's door open. Unbuckling the kid, Dean pulled him out of the car and sat him on the roof. "Now you look at me, Tommy." Dean's voice was steady, serious. "Your mother and I love each other, more than most other people could even imagine. And those kids in there that are name-calling? They get it from their parents, and you know why? Because their fathers didn't go after what they wanted, they chose to live a lie and pretend to love a woman to keep up appearances and be normal. And then they hear stories about how other guys pulled it off, and went after what they wanted and are truly happy –like your mom and I, and those people get jealous and get angry.

Tommy nodded slowly, not daring to interrupt his father. It made sense and he started feeling a little bad for calling his parents that.

"Tommy, it doesn't matter if you like guys or you like girls, and that kind of name calling is just pathetic. I wouldn't change anything, and you shouldn't have to feel like you're different, ok?"

"Yeah, dad." He smiled and nodded, "Sorry. Next time I'll defend you guys and beat them up!" He appeared incredibly pleased with the idea now, someone insulted his parents and he couldn't let them get away with it.

Charlie limped up to the car and quietly pulled himself into the passenger side, so as not to disturb uncle Dean's epic level speech. "Hi uncle Cass," Charlie murmured, setting his injured leg down carefully. He peeked up to see the rearview mirror and wiped some blood from his nose. "Can you not tell my mom that I got in a fight?"

Cass' expression was indescribable, his mouth hung open and his eyes were stuck on Charlie's injured frame. "What the hell happened to you!" He climbed over the seat and into the back, his body still very flexible and lithe, just as it had been when he first met Dean. "Hold still," he ran his hands over the boy and healed him up; Castiel didn't want to know what would happen to him if he walked into the house with Charlie looking like that. Sam would have their asses.

"Who did this to you?" He pet the boy's hair, sounding much calmer now that he figured he'd avoided an angry Sam moment. "And no, I wouldn't dare tell your parents."

"Thanks uncle Cass," Charlie felt his leg, and it felt much better, no scrapes or bruises or gaping wounds –just dried blood. "The kids at school did. Tommy left all crying and upset, so I watched out for him and picked a fight with the other kids. At first I was doing good, got three of them, but then more came and I was getting tired. Don't tell dad I lost, K?"

Cass shook his head, "Good grief. No I won't tell your dad, but he'll find out at some point and then it won't be pretty. Sam doesn't like it when people don't tell him things." Cass knew that for a fact but the anger wouldn't be aimed at Charlie, it'd probably be pointed toward Cass and Dean for not informing him. Whatever the case he'd done his part and figured it was safe to let it slide, "Just don't get into more fights, okay? At least until high school."

When placed on the ground again, Tommy looked at his cousin sheepishly, "Was that my fault?" He muttered, "Did they hurt you because of me?"

Charlie looked over at Tommy, "No, well, sort of, I guess. They're hurt too, though. Most of them, and Uncle Cass fixed me up, see?"

Tommy smiled, relieved that it wasn't lasting damage. "Wow, thanks Charlie." He had to make a point of appreciating Charlie's efforts in the future. He glanced at the school with an angry look,_ 'I'm gonna get them back for that.' _He hopped into the Impala, looking apologetically at Charlie, "Wanna play _Rampage_ when we get home?" He offered quietly, thinking maybe a mindless game might help.

"Yeah, that sounds fun!" Charlie smiled, glad they were finally going home –school was difficult when your cousin was impulsive.

Cass sighed and looked at Dean, "Good grief." He muttered, almost laughing as he climbed back into the front seat of the car, "On the beach, just saying."

Dean nodded in rigorous agreement, "Yes, that beach sounds amazing."

* * *

><p>"What happened to your clothes?" Sam was very perceptive and Cass hung his head in shame at the result. Sam was kneeling by Charlie now, looking at the blood stains and tears in the boy's clothing. He had a bad feeling this had something to do with his request last night. "Charlie, are you okay?" Sam turned those worried brown eyes on his son, very glad that Bella was out shopping with Jo and Anna at the moment.<p>

"Yeah, I'm ok." Charlie answered quietly. It was true –he was ok now, but at the time it really hurt. "The kids at school picked on Tommy cuz of Uncle Dean and Uncle Cass."

'_He needs to fight his own fights, I can't do anything about it but… I asked him to do it so it's my fault.'_ Sam shook his head, "Charlie, thank you for defending him but that was reckless of you. If Tommy was picked on and Tommy left the fight then you shouldn't stay and make it worse, okay? And try not to use fists right away either, words can do more damage." Sam wasn't sure how to encourage his son to defend his friend but not fight at the same time. It was tough.

"More damage?" Charlie looked at Sam thoughtfully, "Like what? I wanna know!"

Sam smirked, "Allow me to teach the ways of 'wit' and a sharp tongue." He laughed a little, "Though your mom's also really good at it too, you should ask her once I've taught you everything I know." Sam was more than happy to create a mini-him/Bella, a sharp tongue and wit would be Charlie's best friends in high school.

* * *

><p>"Hey Twix," Yoshi droned the inquiry, walking home behind his brothers, "did you hear what happened to the Winchesters today?" Yoshi watched his feet as he walked, contemplating Tommy's boisterous claims. "Hey, are angels real?" Yoshi looked up at his brother's back –for as many disagreements Yoshi had with Twix, Twix still knew a whole lot more than he did, and would probably have a well informed answer.<p>

Twix paused and looked back at Yoshi, "I heard what happened, Tommy didn't deserve what happened but I don't think he was right. Angels don't exist, Yoshi. There's no evidence of them."

"How old are you? There's a ton of things into his world that you don't have evidence for yet and you believe it. Who's to say that Tommy doesn't have any evidence?" Yoshi was angry, his brother didn't believe in anything that didn't suit him, anything that wasn't science. Yoshi thought that it might have something to do with that fieldtrip back in grade one, because of that escort, but he didn't know for sure, not really.

"We're the same age, Yoshi. And I know there's plenty of things that there are no evidence of but I choose what I believe, I'm not saying you can't so what's the big deal? I just can't believe in something that..." _'That if it exists then it's trying to hurt me, or just ignoring me. I can't believe there's an omnipotent, omni-good, all powerful being that is sitting back and watching this happen to me. I refuse to think that kind of asshole exists.'_ Twix couldn't say this to Yoshi, first off he barely understood it himself and there was no way his brother would get it.

Snowe wandered ahead of his brothers when Twix stopped, watching a butterfly with odd intensity. Something about the three brothers that most people didn't understand was the odd bond between Twix and Snowe. It looked like Twix was over protective whereas in reality, Snowe needed the watchful eye. He was a very absentminded boy, carefree and innocent yes but fatally absent minded.

"Besides, even if they did," Twix shook his head, "I doubt that Tommy's 'mom' is one of them. I'm not sure if you've noticed but he's the lead singer of a famous band, his nickname is 'Angel', that doesn't mean he is one."

A loud screeching sound echoed as a vehicle slammed to a halt several feet away. Twix's head snapped up instantly and saw Snowe sitting on street, staring up at the car that had almost hit him. "SNOWE!" Twix shrieked, running over to his brother's side. _'God I can't stop watching you for a second, can I?'_ he thought tiredly. "Are you okay, Snowe?"

"Hey watch it kid!" The driver shouted from his window, receiving a glare from Twix.

"Can't you see the school zone sign!" Twix shouted back, "Watch where you're driving, you bastard!"

The guy left in a hurry, not in the mood to be told off by a ten year old any more than he had to. Twix sighed and looked back at Snowe who looked pretty shocked, "Snowe?"

"I'm good." Snowe snapped out of it, shaking his head, "Sorry."

"Don't run out into traffic like that, how many times have I told you?" Twix scolded gently, helping Snowe to his feet again.

"I know but the butterfly-"

"There are plenty of butterflies that don't fly over the road, follow them." Twix ushered Snowe down the sidewalk again, keeping a grasp on the boy's hand as he glanced back at Yoshi, "Why are you asking about angels anyway? What does it matter if they exist?"

Yoshi watched with a blank expression as the conversation he had with his brother disappeared in a puff of smoke. All it took was one move from Snowe, and it was all over. Sure, Snowe was almost hit by a car and it made sense that Twix would run to his side. But Snowe _always_ needed that kind of attention, and Yoshi simply didn't. He didn't know if he could ever mean as much to his brother as Snowe did, could he even have a full conversation? No, this was more of a lecture anyhow. Yoshi glared hard at the ground and walked over to his brothers, "Are we going home or what?" He snapped the words out, clearly not intending to make Twix's life any easier.

Twix's expression twisted in concern, "Yoshi, come on..." What could he do? "Yeah, we're going. What do you guys want for supper?"

"Can we have McDonalds again?" Snowe asked innocently, obliviously.

"Sorry, Snowe." Twix shook his head, "I'll see what I can scrounge up; Yoshi what did you want?" He wanted to give Yoshi the same amount of attention that was necessary to give Snowe but if Yoshi didn't concede and help out a little bit then Twix would be entirely pre-occupied with the little one.


	17. Chapter 17

The next day at school, Yoshi was at his desk scribbling on a piece of paper. His expression was one of concentration as he focused his attention on the page before him. He wanted to get it done before class started, but those feathers were so freaking difficult. Every few minutes he'd look up from his drawing to glance at the door, checking to see if Tommy had arrived.

Tommy wandered into the classroom with Charlie, his backpack hanging loosely from his slender shoulders. The two were pretty quiet, it was in the middle of the week and neither boy was terribly enthusiastic about coming back to school.

Yoshi finished the sketch not a moment too soon. "Hey Tommy," he called in his less-than-enthusiastic way, "I made this for you." Yoshi approached Tommy, slightly unsure of whether or not Tommy would take it the right way. "Here," The sketch was of an angel, inspired by the old church paintings depicting violence and the victory of the winged creature over the demonspawn of hell.

Tommy stared down at the picture in his hands, not sure why it seemed so odd to receive a piece of artwork from a classmate but it was. A small smile crossed his lips as he stared down at it, Yoshi and Twix had proved time and time again ever since kindergarten that colouring and drawing were _not_ their strong suits. In fact, those two were so bad it was almost funny.

"I drew that for you, because of what happened yesterday. My brother doesn't believe you, but I do." Yoshi leaned over to point out some of the details, "See, the angel is the strongest of God's creations, and will always triumph over evil. The demon represents your trials and oppressions, like our classmates. See? You're killing them all."

"Wow," Tommy smiled up at Yoshi, "That's really thoughtful of you, I appreciate it but.." he lifted the picture with a bit of a laugh, "You can't draw very well." He snickered a bit more and folded the paper, "But I'll keep it, thank you." He paused for a moment as he placed it into his bag, "Really, thank you." He was glad someone else was on his side, not that Charlie wasn't appreciated but someone who wasn't family was supporting him, that was important too.

Yoshi's expression darkened for a moment, he was only trying to help and he was being laughed at for it. Fantastic. "You can throw the stupid drawing out." Yoshi offered, it was just a piece of garbage anyway.

"Hey I was just joking around," Tommy smiled at the darker boy, "I won't throw it out, it's a gift."

"Well sit down," Tommy pointed at the seat next to him, a big smile on his face, "We can suck at drawing together." Tommy wasn't an artist either, he didn't really try though, it wasn't an interest of his.

Yoshi sighed and pulled up a chair, "Do you think I can get any better at it? And don't say yes just because it can't get worse."

"Well my dad and uncle say that with practice and some hard work you can do just about anything." The young Winchester shrugged, "So I think you can, if you keep at it."

Yoshi's brow remained furrowed as he stared at the blank page before him –getting good at drawing required him to knowingly produce hundreds of pieces of crap before anything good came out of it. He wasn't entirely sure he was up to the challenge –there were better things to do with his time than work on lousy art pieces. Besides, Snowe would beat the hell out of his drawings any day.

Twix walked into the classroom soaked to the bone, his silver hair matted down over his face and his bag dripping wet. Snowe followed suit, completely dry but looking rather worried. "Twix..." he muttered but his brother just dropped into a desk and stared forward, his expression all but unreadable.

Twix's entrance allowed Yoshi to take his eyes of the page and his mind off the task, but his expression didn't lighten any. '_What the hell happened?_' Yoshi eyed Twix, and then Snowe's worried expression.

Snowe trotted to Yoshi's side, "Yoshi," he spoke cautiously, not sure what to do with Twix, his protector and basically guardian seemingly broken for the moment. "Some kids in the hall were bullying Twix... They said some mean stuff about us and when he didn't argue back and tried to just move to class they all dumped water on him." Snowe fidgeted, "I think he's really upset, what should we do?"

Yoshi's eyebrow twitched in frustration, "Our stupid brother never fights back, that's what the real problem is. It doesn't matter if they're picking on just him, or insulting his family –he never fucking fights back. It's like he doesn't even care. He's too busy thinking that he's 'surviving' and won't take 'unnecessary risks.'" Yoshi's scowl remained and although he stopped his angry verbal tirade against his brother, his mind still stewed in its thoughts, dwelling on Twix's shortfalls.

Snowe scrunched his round face, enraged by his brother's words. "Yoshi that's mean!" he snapped, "And it's not true! Twix is trying his hardest every day; to help us, take care of us, teach us and give us everything we need." Tears welled in his dark eyes, "He's being a role-model and showing us that fighting doesn't solve anything, it doesn't mean he doesn't fight back or care! He takes that for us! He would do anything to keep us safe, Yoshi. I haven't seen you try that hard so don't you dare judge him!" Snowe sniffled and narrowed his eyes determinedly, "If you're gonna be a jerk then fine, I'll defend Twix."

"Snowe-" Yoshi's tone was warning and defensive. He hadn't expected Snowe to snap back at him, that never happened. He wanted to tell Snowe that there were better ways, that Twix was just being a push over and for the kind of life that the three of them had in store it would help more to show them how to fight and defend themselves; most importantly –stand up for themselves. But then Snowe was gone, out of his face in a screwed up ball of rage going to get his ass royally kicked.

Tommy almost laughed at that but stopped when he saw the serious look on the little one's face. Snowe ran out of the classroom. "Dude he's gonna do it..." Tommy was as stunned as everyone else in the class. Little Snowe never acted out, never. He was quiet, shy, and quite bashful. He was sensitive and very naive, oblivious a lot of the time and dear god was he accident prone. But when it really mattered Snowe could understand what he needed to, which was often good enough.

"I know..." Yoshi had the sneaking suspicion that Twix was going to kill him.

Twix stood up and stumbled forward, "Snowe!" He shouted, obviously not missing that outburst. His knees gave out and he crumpled to the floor in a coughing fit, curling up in hopes it'd divert some of the pain elsewhere. "Yoshi," He wheezed, looking up pleadingly at his brother, "Stop him, please." He choked and coughed again, apparently a vicious cold had finally caught up with him. Not having the money for health care and other medical things for them, Twix had done his damnedest to fight off illness when he felt it coming but this one was too much for him to handle.

Yoshi's gaze darted from the doorway to Twix, now a heap of pathetic on the floor. How'd he get like that? He was always strong, always healthy, and now he was almost coughing out a lung while dry heaving out an empty stomach. "Twix..." For a split second Yoshi felt truly awful about the things he'd said about his brother, "Don't worry, I've got him." Yoshi turned and booked it out the door after his suicidal little brother.

Tommy ran out after Yoshi only to see Snowe standing up against the bullies from earlier; there were several of them and all were from the grade above. Snowe was demanding an apology from the older teenagers who could only sputter in laughter at the sight.

"I'm not joking!" Snowe squeaked, his voice cracking involuntarily. "You're bullies and Twix didn't deserve that."

The biggest one, Jacob, laughed harder. He pointed down at Snowe, "This pipsqueak wants us to say were 'sowwy' guys!" His group laughed with him, bringing a deep and furious blush to the smaller boy's cheeks.

"I mean it!" Snowe hit Jacob in the arm with a balled up fist, his brow furrowed in frustration. Of course it did no damage whatsoever, though he received a knowing smirk from the jock.

Jacob stood, "Looks like he wants a fight, let's give it to him." Obviously these boys had been hoping for retaliation from Twix this morning, an excuse to beat someone up. Snowe would do for now. The brute lifted Snowe from the ground easily, the boy being dangerously underweight for his age. He wound up and grinned, "Let's go pretty boy."

Snowe was unable to move, his eyes slowly widening with the realization of what was about to happen to him.

"Drop him!" Yoshi shouted at Jacob, his dark eyes glaring fiercely enough to burn a hole through the other boy. "Put My Brother Down," Yoshi spat decisively, walking toward the jock in possession of his little brother. Yoshi knew he wouldn't fare any better than Snowe, none of them found food on a regular basis and if the triplets shared anything in common it was malnourishment.

"And if I don't?" Jacob inquired, his voice laden with sarcasm. He turned a smirk back to his followers, who seemed much akin to a pack of laughing hyenas.

Yoshi lashed out and punched Jacob in the face. The sucker punch must've caught him off guard because Jacob's grip on Snowe was forfeited to inspect the damage to his nose, and Snowe was dropped to the floor. Yoshi grabbed Snowe's arm and dragged him away from Jacob.

"Get the hell out of here, Snowe," Yoshi instructed, giving Snowe a push towards the classroom. "I've got this."

Snowe stopped to hug Yoshi before retreating, "Thanks Yoshi," he whispered into his brother's chest, more than relieved someone came to his rescue on this one. He listened obediently and darted back inside the class, hurrying to Twix's side.

Jacob wasn't the forgiving and forgetting type, he glared at the long-haired boy and wound up to return the assault; he didn't get that far. Tommy intercepted the swing, his own strength far surpassing that of his senior. "Don't even think about it," he sneered, twisting the bully's fist in his.

"Think you're so tough, Winchester?" Jacob growled at him, trying his hardest to pretend that his wrist wasn't being turned at an awkward angle.

"I do," Tommy smirked. In a flash he had the larger boy on the floor, pinning him down as if he weighed little more than a small dog. Jacob's group blinked in surprise, none of them quite sure what they should be doing about the scenario in front of them. The toughest guy they knew just got knocked on his ass by someone younger than him, and that kid made it look _easy_.

Yoshi just stared in awe as Tommy took the fight over. His frail little punk-ass would've been handed to him in seconds. It wasn't so much heroic as it was cowardly t send Snowe back inside, Yoshi was just grateful his brother wouldn't be there to watch him get pummelled. But _this_ –this was completely different. Tommy wasn't just strong for his age, he was _inhumanly_ strong. '_Was he serious about that angel thing?_' Yoshi couldn't help but look at Tommy in a different light –he would be a more valuable social asset than Yoshi first thought.

"You leave those three the fuck alone, you hear me?" Tommy growled in the teen's ear.

Surprisingly he got the desired response; Jacob backed off and escaped down the hall with a somewhat embarrassed look on his face. Tommy sighed lightly and looked over at Yoshi with a smile, "Problem solved, I think."

"No kidding 'problem solved'," Yoshi shot back, "I don't think that guy's going to pick on _anybody_, let alone my brothers and I. I can't believe you just did that." Yoshi was awestruck, but he hadn't meant to sound creeped out. He rarely was, but this was just impossible for Tommy's age and size. Yoshi looked back to his friend, "Thanks."

Twix stood in the doorway of the classroom, leaning against its frame and being slightly supported by Snowe. "Yoshi," his voice was soft though a little hoarse. "Thank you." He rubbed his throat absently, "I think I'm coming down with something, would you mind sitting with Snowe in class? I'm going to go see the nurse."

"Yeah sure," Yoshi nodded to Twix, "That should be no problem." Jacob had picked on Twix, was about to throttle Snowe, and then nearly got Yoshi as well. Yoshi couldn't help but dwell on how borderline pathetic their lives were, their entire existence. Just how could they be permitted to exist? They were scuttling around the bottom of the barrel, barely surviving as the brunt of cruel jokes. He quickly shook his head, trying to clear it of those negative thoughts. No way would he make it through life thinking like that, even at a young age that much at least was obvious.

Snowe smiled at Yoshi, the little spat between them had apparently been solved by that single action. Tommy was glad to see the triplets weren't fighting as much, it meant less serious 'family' talk later on between Yoshi and himself. It wasn't that he didn't want to hear it, it was just that it was always the same thing and he... kinda didn't want to hear it. "You should help Twix to the nurse's office," Tommy looked at Yoshi as he walked over and took Snowe's arm, "I'll get the little one here back to class."

"You sure?" Yoshi eyed Tommy warily. While Tommy had never said or done anything negative towards Snowe, Yoshi knew that he wasn't a fan. Not by a long shot. "If you say so." Yoshi positioned himself at Twix's side and supported majority of his weight over his shoulders.

Twix seemed to like that idea, not exactly trusting Snowe to half carry his weight to the nurse. "I'd appreciate that," he smiled weakly at Tommy.

"I really need to ask," Yoshi spoke up after a few moments of strained silence. "Why didn't you fight back? Do you really not care about defending our family?"

Twix smiled and snickered, his body shaking slightly from it. "You know something," his snickers turned into laughter which turned into a cough. He cleared his throat once or twice, covering his mouth accordingly, "I thought about it," he smiled and looked at his brother still laughing a little, "Then I had this image in my head of me beaten to hell and unable to do anything except for hack up a lung. Normally I can handle myself with self-defence moves but this morning my immune system seems to have lost some kind of important fight, I'm pretty useless. I thought if I let it go this time around Snowe wouldn't get hurt and I could deal with them later, when I'm feeling better." He shook his head, "Of course nothing ever goes the way I plan it."

"I get what you mean about not wanting to have others catch you losing, kind of went down the same way when Tommy and I got in a fight with Jacob. Oddest thing? His posse didn't do a thing to help him, think his arm might be broken." Yoshi laughed a bit, not quite as tense or bitter. Twix still seemed to be his brother, but this was a side that he never got to see with Snowe around.

Twix was quiet for a moment and realized that this would be the first time the two of them were alone in years. "Yoshi," he started, looking up at him again, "I'm really sorry. I wanted to help you two but it looks like all I did was leave you out and focus on Snowe. You seem to find me rather pathetic, most of the time I'd bet." Twix couldn't begin to understand what Yoshi was feeling for him, he tried but usually Snowe ended up needing his attention.

"We can't have a nice walk down the hallway without talking about Snowe, can we?" Yoshi sighed, "Whatever." He heard was Twix said, he could hear how much it bothered him that he didn't have a relationship with Yoshi, that he was truly sorry for leaving him out. But that was all it was, genuine feelings were good but Twix didn't even _try_ to offer a solution, didn't even offer to try and fix it, spend more time with him, nothing. Just 'I'm sorry that's the way it is.' "I don't need your help, Twix. I can handle it on my own. Just forget about it, there's nothing you can do at this point anyway."

"Yoshi no, wait I didn't mean it like that." Twix felt like he couldn't say even a single thing that wouldn't set Yoshi off. "Please, Yoshi listen to me." His voice shook for a moment, "You're the only other person I can count on here, I need you." Why did this always happen? Always apologizing for something with Yoshi, or just scolding him for being an asshole.

"Whether you like it or not, Snowe is a big part of our lives and he's going to come up in conversations. He talks about you a lot too, as do I. It's just something that happens when they aren't around." He sighed, "You know I want to spend time with you too but you always leave. You _know_ I can't leave him alone, so why won't you compromise and spend time with me while he's there?" Twix felt he knew the answer before it came but figured he'd give it a shot anyway.

"The only reason I haven't dropped you on the floor and left you behind is because you're my brother, otherwise this conversation would've been over back by the science lab," Yoshi huffed; he was angry and frustrated, but most of all hurt, and explaining all that didn't sit well with him. "The short answer is: you're not the same person when Snowe is around. Hell, you're hardly a person at all. More like a robot with a hell of a lot of mandates and quotas. If I had it my way Snowe would learn the hard way, and your way is babying him to oblivion. Something about these two methods just doesn't mesh. Can this conversation be done now?"

Twix sighed; Yoshi would never understand what it meant to take care of Snowe. He was a slow minded person all the time, a small portion of that time he was tuned in and listening (an even smaller portion was Snowe understanding all that was going on). The majority of the time with Snowe was rescuing him from fatal accidents.

"The conversation can be over if you want it to be, Yoshi. However, I am _trying. _I get that you don't accept my methods and if you want to give up on us that's fine, I'll still be here for you regardless." Twix planted his feet and managed to stand up on his own, looking as strong and firm as he could with a serious cold. "I'll always be there to catch you, Yoshi. Even if you try to leave me behind, I won't give up. I do everything I can to make sure that you and Snowe get an equal chance in life, he just needs more help than you."

Yoshi stopped in his tracks, he grit his teeth and clicked his jaw, annoyance seeping in, "You didn't listen to a word I said." The words were spat out like venom, Yoshi's dark black eyes were smouldering with rage. "What's the matter? Don't have the programming to deal with a question of character? I said 'you're not the same person' and all you can talk about is how much more needy Snowe is and why that's a good reason to dote on him. And I already told you that _I don't need your help_. What I need is a brother with half a brain, not a whacked out guardian angel on a holy mission."

Twix was losing patience with Yoshi, his hands starting to clench into fists, "I am who I am, Yoshi. When I'm with Snowe it requires more of a gentle, guiding hand and yes, that is very different from when I'm with you. I am the same person; since I was 5 years old I've been the same person. I have more than half a brain, Yoshi. That isn't the problem here; the issue has something to do with you having _half a heart_. If you'd get your selfish head on straight for ten minutes you'd see that." He felt his limbs trembling from the adrenaline of snapping at his brother, something he hadn't done in such a long time.

Twix continued walking past Yoshi toward the nurse's office, despite how weak his legs felt he still looked strong as he passed, "I won't hold you back. Decide what you want and go for it, Yoshi. My arms will be open to you when you want to help us..." He trailed off and looked back at his brother, tears running down his cheeks, "When you want to help me."

Yoshi froze, staring at those glossy red eyes for just a few short moments before Twix would turn away again. Twix was breaking down, they were just kids in middle school, but Twix insisted on bearing the weight of the world, and that weight was finally catching up and crushing him beneath it. Twix, for as far back as Yoshi could remember, never cried. And out of all the pushing and pulling and demands, the one thing that pushed him over the edge was Yoshi.

"Fuck off," he whispered, barely audible. He didn't want to be responsible for this, he didn't even want anything to do with this anymore. "Then go ahead and keep waiting with your stupid open arms, I'm not taking it!"

Twix closed his eyes and hung his head, tears dripping off his chin and nose, _'What am I doing?' _

He took a breath and continued toward the office on his own, using the wall as support.

* * *

><p>"Tommy!" Castiel called up the stairs, a bag slung over his shoulder. "Come on! I told you to pack your shit an hour ago!"<p>

"I'm coming mom, I'm coming." Tommy's awkwardly grown legs stumbled down the stairs rapidly, about thirteen years old. He had a bag in his arms, half open with several items falling out.

"Tommy…" Cass frowned, picking up a balled up mound of socks, "Why are you bringing socks?"

"Because I need socks in my shoes…" Tommy spoke slowly, trying to catch his mom's tone before screwing up severely.

"We're going on vacation, where there's really warm weather, what the heck do you need shoes for? Wear sandals." Cass instructed, tossing the socks back in Tommy's face.

The household was going on vacation, the first one they all went on in several years. Cass and Dean had done their 'second honeymoon' several times, apparently both needing a huge break every once in a while. Now it was family time, they were going on vacation as a group and it was going to be amazing.

Dean sat on top of the suitcase in the entrance, holding the lid down with the weight of his body as he tried desperately to zip it shut. "I still don't understand why he packed so damn much," Dean grunted and he finally felt the pull of the zipper along the tracks. "Finally!" Dean stood up, a triumphant expression plastered across his face. He placed the suitcase by the others, such as Sam's immaculately packed bag. Dean frowned at the difference, but knew it didn't matter –they were suitcases.

"Sammy! You all set?" Dean called over to his brother, stoked to get out of the house again. Sure they were bringing the kids, but after hours when the kids were in bed it was time for some adult activities under the light of the moon on the cool beach sands.

"You bet I am," Sam called back, he'd been helping Bella 'try her swimsuit on' but had wrapped it up pretty quick considering both kids were pretty eager to go. Not just the kids though, he'd seen Jo squealing about the vacation and watched Chuck and Adam pretend they weren't excited. Balthazar, Gabriel, and Anna didn't seem all that impressed though they'd been travelling before so it wasn't a big deal for that. Which made him wonder why Cass was so glad to go; then again Cass was always a special case.

"Hey dad…" Tommy approached Dean as Cass made sure everything was in his bag.

Dean turned around, "Yeah sport?"

"Uhm… well I was wondering, since we have a lot of money and mom's just flying us there… Can we bring Yoshi? Maybe his brothers? I don't think they've ever gone on vacation before either."

Dean blinked once, then twice and thought about it. Tommy and Charlie were probably tired of hanging out with just each other, and the more kids there were the less likely they were to chase after the parent's attention. "Sounds alright to me," Dean looked over in Cass' direction for confirmation.

Cass stood up again and sighed, "You had to bring this up the day we're leaving? Really?"

Tommy shrugged at him and looked back at Dean for a yes or no.

"Then it's decided, we're bringing the three little pigs. Let's go!"

"Really! Awesome!" Tommy grinned, barely being able to wait to see Yoshi's face. He knew that Charlie got along with Snowe pretty well too, though Charlie, Yoshi, and Tommy were an awesome team at school when it came down to it. They were all pretty good friends.

"Yeah yeah," Cass shrugged, "As long as I don't have to save that little one from drowning."

"Twix'll do that, no worries." Tommy waved it off as if it were nothing.

Dean hustled over to Cass, "Hey, can you bring me with to get them? The older one seems to trust me a bit."

"Sure thing, babe. Maybe he'll believe the 'angel thing' once I pop into his face." Cass laughed, kissing Dean's cheek.

"Something that bugs me about them," Sam piped in, still adamant that those kids were odd. "Twix is a genius or so Charlie tells me. He's good at _everything_. And when I say that I mean absolutely everything; and the knowledge he has is way beyond his age. Dean he acts like I did when I turned like twenty."

Dean arched an eyebrow, "You jealous Sammy?" It seemed odd to think that his brother, father of one, was jealous of a 13 year-old. Something about smart people made them oddly petty. Greater intellectual achievements at younger ages killed your childhood faster than conscription. "So he's mature for his age –big deal. They're fine, Sam."

Sam frowned at him, "Not jealous, Dean. I'm just saying there's something off about his maturity."

"So?" Jo trotted down the stairs with a packed suit case, "What's the big deal?"

"So," Sam looked at her, aggravated; "He's thirteen! He should barely be thinking about hitting puberty and I bet he could teach a class on it."

"It bugs you because Snowe's basically retarded, right?" Tommy snickered, "I mean the kid's all but useless."

"Tommy, be nice." Cass scolded, "He isn't retarded, he's a slow learner. Besides, Snowe's the cutest kid I've ever seen."

"Whatever mom." Tommy's expression was flat before something dawned on him, "I know what Twix can't do; he can't draw or paint or anything artistic, neither can Yoshi."

"That's a small thing, considering." Sam muttered.

"I'm still hearing jealousy," Dean chided, pestering Sam.

"Shut up, Dean." Sam waved him off, keeping his smile hidden so Dean wouldn't be encouraged as much.

"Whatever!" Cass took Dean's arms, "We're gonna go get them because it sounds like these kids need a vacation more than you bums." With that, the Destiel couple vanished.

Upon a seemingly spontaneous arrival, Dean tapped Twix lightly on the shoulder (likely freaking the hell out of him), "Hey, you wanna go to the beach?"

Twix spun on his heal instantly, his bright red eyes wide and as intense as Dean had ever seen them; his arms up in a defensive stance that he'd taught himself. The words spoken barely registered in his head before their presence became known to his brothers as well.

Yoshi flipped out of the couch and onto the floor behind it, "Holy shit!" He hopped back up to his feet, "Where the hell did you two come from?"

"Our house," Cass smirked at the boy.

Snowe shrieked and dropped his markers, covering his head and shaking immediately, "I don't wanna go! I don't wanna!" he cried.

Dean frowned slightly at the outburst, were people trying to take these kids away? Well of course they were, there were no freaking parents to be found. Wherever they were, Dean had already figured out that they didn't make the lunches or sign the consent forms, and no permission was ever required to take those kids anywhere. Not unless you counted Twix as a source of permission. Sam was right about one thing –this family set up wasn't normal, Dean doubted they even had parents. But reporting that to anyone would result exactly in what Snowe feared –family services would scoop them up, separate them, and whisk them away. And Dean knew better than to separate brothers.

Cass knelt down next to the boy, "Calm down," he whispered softly, "It's just Dean and me."

Snowe looked up and seemed relieved at the sight of Cass' friendly face. "Thank goodness," he breathed a sigh, his shoulders visibly relaxing. "I thought you were those-"

"Snowe." Twix interrupted with a snap, then turned back to face Dean. "What do you mean 'go to the beach'?"

"What do you think we mean?" Cass was as pushy as ever though he tried not to be, "We're going on vacation and Tommy wants you to come with." He shrugged, "Dean and I have nothing against it so we figured we'd offer."

"The beach!" Snowe squeaked, his large eyes wide in excitement, "I've never been to the beach! Can we go Twix? Can we go?"

"We don't have..." Twix wanted to say 'swim gear' but he meant 'anything'.

"Sure you do," Cass pointed at three suitcases that appeared next to the door, "You're all packed and everything, let's get going."

Twix stared at the cases, each with their names engraved on the sides and coloured according to their favourite colours. "But ... How...?" He could barely wrap his head around it; actually he couldn't at all.

"Wow!" Snowe ran to his and picked it up happily, "Come on come on!" He beamed excitedly.

"I..." Twix stuttered, for once he had nothing he could say. What had just happened?

Dean shot Twix a knowing look, "You're doing the best you can here, but everyone needs a little vacation time." Dean offered up a smile, hoping Twix found him trustworthy. In the past, Twix hadn't much of a choice, but as the boy grew in strength and knowledge he could pick his acquaintances more wisely.

Twix looked up at a man he'd seen around numerous times in the past, the same one who had helped them on a couple occasions. He owed Dean so much already and now a vacation? He could never pay this back. _'I will pay him back.'_ He thinks determinedly. Twix gives a nod to Dean, despite all the craziness going on around him in that moment; he trusted Dean Winchester.

In the several seconds it took him to figure out something he could say, a way to express his gratitude, Castiel had already snapped them back to the house. This was the first time any of the three brothers had stepped foot in that place; well except for maybe Yoshi who was friends with Tommy.

"Wha-!" Twix looked around rapidly, his heartbeat skipping several times over.

"Wow!" Snowe looked around, completely okay with having just teleported.

Yoshi looked around the familiar living room, "Woah," He'd been here a half dozen times at least, but never via teleportation. He'd given Tommy the benefit of the doubt when they were younger to win the Winchester boy over, but he hadn't really given it much of a critical look over. A person could be what they wanted, and Yoshi never tried to prove or disprove the 'my mom is an angel' theory, and now here was proof, plain as day. Yoshi looked over at Twix triumphantly, "Told ya."

"Hey Yoshi," Tommy pat his friend's shoulder, "Ready to go on a tropical vacation?" He grinned.

"Tropical?" Yoshi repeated the question as though he couldn't comprehend the word. "I thought we were just going to the beach?"

Chuck gave a short laugh, "These guys don't just take a trip to the beach. Are you kidding? It's ocean, sun and surf. The whole resort shebang!"

Dean punched Chuck in the shoulder, "Who the hell says 'shebang'?"

"Ow," Chuck pointedly attended to his 'playful' injury before addressing Dean's question. "I say shebang, is that so bad?"

"Yes Chuck, that's bad," Dean sighed and dropped the subject. "So! Let's get this show on the road."

Cass, not wanting to stop and even consider the ugly living conditions they'd just popped in on with the three brothers, lifted his hands, "Everybody ready! Okay then let's go!" A loud clap echoed and everyone was suddenly in the lobby of a beautiful hotel. "I got it," Castiel winked at Dean and strut up to the counter, dealing with the reservations he'd made.

Twix dropped onto his butt, his mind swirling to an overwhelming extent. He didn't understand anything that had just happened. "It's fine," Tommy looked down at him, "Told you my mom was an angel."

Twix looked up; "Huh?" was all he managed to choke out. He understood the implications but the whole concept was too much.

* * *

><p>"Wow," Charlie walked through the ocean side resort cabin, all their own. "This is the coolest vacation ever!" Charlie spun around to look at his dad, completely bright-eyed, "Can we live here dad? <em>Pleeeeease<em>?"

Sam raised an eyebrow, "You kidding? There's too much fun around here, I can't let you live around fun." He laughed and rubbed his son on the head, messing up his hair thoroughly, "Tell you what, we'll come out here more often, how's that?"

Bella laughed, "That's what you get for asking the wrong parent," she mock-scolded her now disappointed son, "I would've let you live here. All the fun you could ever want."

"Really!" Charlie smiled up at his mom, and then glowered back at Sam, "Why's mom nicer than you? She lets me have fun!"

Bella just laughed and gave Sam a quick victory smirk. "Children can be so fickle."

Sam grinned at his son, "Mom's nicer than me now, sure. But when you're older and have real values, you'll actually have a chance with the person you'll be attracted to. You'll thank me when you're older." He knew that one first hand; John was a hard-ass but he did teach the Winchester boys some decent life lessons and Sam would have to thank him for that. Of course, this kind of thing didn't fly with a young teenager who thought 'liking someone' was still somewhat gross and/or awkward.

Dean surveyed the cabin proudly –marrying a popular musician was the best thing he'd even done for himself financially. The resort cabin was no stranger to Dean and Cass –many of their last minute get-aways and extensive vacations took place here. Dean wondered absently if they'd cleaned the kitchen since their last visit, people would need to eat off that table after all.

Snowe trotted out of the bathroom in his brand new swim trunks and beamed happily at them. "I can't wait! This is going to be so fun!" He ran to look out the window at the scenery below them, his heavily protected mind could barely wrap around the fact that he was now in some tropical land where about half an hour ago he was sitting at home and colouring. It was magic and _that_ made his day.

Dean turned a smirk on Cass, "Last one to the beach's a rotten egg." And with that, he bolted from the room, a small gaggle of children excitedly running after him.

"Hey!" Cass grinned, throwing his shit down and running after his husband, "No fair, head start!" He cried, running alongside the young teens and racing ahead to catch Dean who had always been wicked fast.

"Hey, no fair! You've got supernatural speed!" Dean shot back, knowing he had no chance in hell of winning unless Cass let him. Fast wasn't fast enough when racing nephelim, apparently.

Bella sighed lightly, "No swimming for me, I think I'd much rather head up to the veranda and enjoy a glass of wine." Turning a suggestive glance to Sam she added, "Care to join me?"

Sam smiled, catching her drift immediately, "Gladly," he picked his wife up easily and carried her off. They'd been here a few times as well and both knew exactly where they were going.

* * *

><p>The first day of their vacation was spent exploring and swimming and eating. Most of the time Twix had spent there was watching Snowe, keeping him away from the deep end of basically everything and away from large waves. He looked increasingly exhausted as the day wore on. By the time it was after five he was sitting on the beach lazily helping Snowe create a sand castle. Sure, Snowe loved crafts and art and stuff, but he still wanted to get out and play with the others.<p>

Twix didn't know if it was because he _knew_ Snowe had never swum before and drowning was almost a certain thing; or if he was just afraid of the possibility. _'It's just paranoia.'_ He corrected himself, not allowing the grip of fear in his life, not now. He needed everything to be in one piece, especially with those social workers lurking at every corner.

"Take a chill pill," Tommy was walking by with Yoshi and of course Charlie, his trunks soaked and clinging to his increasingly attractive frame. He was young but he was still the son of Dean and Castiel Winchester, the two most attractive people in their household. (He'd fight Charlie to the death over that little fact). "Just relax a while, Twix. Let Snowe play in the waves, it's not like he's gonna get eaten by sharks or anything."

Charlie rolled his eyes and sighed at his cousin, already two inches taller than the other boy, though Tommy would never admit it, "C'_mon_ Tommy, let's go." It seemed like every time they passed Twix by, Tommy had to stop and try and force fun down the uptight teen's throat.

Twix looked at Snowe then back up at Tommy, his better judgement said 'don't let him go' but he wanted to conquer that paranoia, that little thing in him that said 'Snowe can't be without you'. Snowe needed to be able to go out and play like a normal kid, without Twix hanging onto him and saying 'don't do that' over and over again. He bit his lip anxiously, looking back at Snowe; this time he caught the pleading excited expression in the boy's face and sighed lightly. "Right," he smiled up at Tommy and Yoshi nervously though he attempted to hide that last part, "Could you guys watch him then? I think I'm gonna nap here on the beach for a bit."

"Sure we'll watch him," Tommy smiled, "Join us once you think you can act like a kid too," he kept the smile on to appear friendly though he wasn't entirely so. Tommy didn't like the 'mature for his age' thing about Twix, it was annoying most of the time and he always made everyone else in the class look bad. If he was so great and smart and amazing then why wasn't he advanced several grades and stop pestering the 'less gifted'?

Yoshi smiled at Twix, "Yeah, you do that. You look like you need it. Not much of a vacation for you yet, huh?" Yoshi couldn't help but feel bad, and moreover responsible for Twix's lack of life. There were two brothers very capable of caring for Snowe and watching out for his incompetent mishaps, yet Yoshi knew he never made an effort enough to alleviate Twix's workload. And by now, he doubted that Twix would really trust Snowe with him. "You deserve the rest, we've got Snowe."

Twix smiled up at Yoshi, "My vacation starts now, it seems. Thank you, Yoshi." Twix always thanked his brother for the help, even though it was probably something he should just be expecting. He appreciated every little bit of help, it aided him in lasting longer in this life to continue the things he did. For him it was enough, it was something he was charged with at a young age and he could handle it; or so he told himself every night.

Yoshi looked over at Snowe, "Well? What are you waiting for, let's go."

Snowe yelped with joy and bounded toward the water, he'd been pulled out by Twix several hours earlier due to the increase in waves.

Tommy looked at Yoshi as they walked away and grinned, "There, Twix gets a break and Snowe gets some breathing room. All's good."

Quietly so as not to let Twix hear, Yoshi leaned closer to Tommy, "Am I the only one who's reminded of a dog when he does that?"

Tommy stifled a snicker, "No man, you aren't alone at all."

Everything was fine for the first hour, the boys in the water all played games and got pummelled by ocean waves. Castiel didn't miss a beat, taking this chance to play with Dean in the waves. More than once they ended up one on top of the other in a heated make-out session, a rush of movement and passion. They knew they couldn't do anything for real, not in broad daylight anyway. That's why every time it got too hot between them one would play coy and run from the other; often it was Castiel because he knew Dean could get to the point of not giving a shit about proper beach etiquette.

A large wave smacked into them and knocked back onto the moistened sand, crumpled around one another in a loving embrace, lips locked and hips grinding. Castiel smiled up at Dean warmly, striking blue eyes inspecting his lover closely. He opened his mouth to speak when a distant shriek caught his attention.

Cass wiggled out from under Dean and sat upright, looking to see what the fuss was about. Tommy was pointing out at the water from the safety of the sand alongside Yoshi, Charlie, and Twix. Cass squinted then looked out at the water, where was Snowe?

Dean jumped up to his feet, '_That had to be one of the kids_,' his mind raced, expecting the worst. Did one of them accidentally drown in play fighting? Did the waves crash them into some unseen rocks? Attacked by sharks? "Do you see them?" Dean asked Cass quickly, trusting Cass' eyesight to be quite a bit keener than his own, though he still searched the area.

His answer came as soon as he spotted the naturally silver-highlighted boy further on the horizon, his little arms flailing uselessly against the tide. Sharper cries were more evident now though they frequently gurgled out as Snowe's mouth filled with water and he started coughing.

"Oh no," Dean's face paled and his heart sank. Snowe was adrift, far out of the boys' reach. Dean doubted he could swim, and keeping his head above water was just as iffy a situation. Dean took off across the beach as fast as he could. The unspoken promise to Twix was that this vacation was safe, nothing was going to happen to him or his brothers –and now Snowe may very well be drowned before the day was through.

"**Twix! Twix help me**!" Snowe screamed.

Twix was awake and running from the beach but even he knew that there was no way he could fight the tide. "**Snowe! Snowe I'm coming!"** tears streamed down his face, he knew there was nothing he could do to save Snowe, he knew it. That didn't stop him from trying.

Tommy caught the silver haired boy as he raced by; knocking the air out of him, "Stop it, Twix! You can't help him."

"Let me go!" Twix struggled but was useless against Tommy's superior genes, "LET GO!"

"No!" Tommy looked down the beach and saw Castiel standing alone at the edge of the water; they knew where Dean was.

Dean ran as far into the water as he could before swimming out. Snowe couldn't be that far, he always looked small, no way was that the horizon effect of him being miles offshore. The further out Dean went, the stronger the current. Dean was grateful that at least this far out the waves didn't crest; they simply rolled under the surface like some threatening unseen force. "It's ok!" Dean reached out and pulled Snowe into him, "It's alright, I've got you." Dean looked Snowe over, "Can you hold on if I put you on my back?" Snowe's small frame and weak grip didn't give Dean much confidence in Snowe's ability to hang on. '_One-armed swimming it is_.'

Snowe latched onto the first thing he recognized as safety, which was Dean. He trembled against the man's much larger frame and clung to the best of his ability but Dean was right; there was no way he would hold on by himself.

"I'm sorry Twix," Yoshi tried to apologize, knowing it would be futile if Dean couldn't get Snowe back to the shore. That man was more of a father to the three of them than any of them had ever known. Yoshi looked back out at the water, and he couldn't honestly say he was concerned that they wouldn't make it. Dean could do just about anything.

Twix's entire body shook as he watched Dean swim for Snowe; despite the trust he had in that man the fear of losing his brother was much greater. "You said you'd watch him!" He snapped, tears streaming down his cheeks, warming the skin beneath as the air blew by and cooled it again. "Why is he so far out there! Why weren't you watching him!" The futile cry that escaped him felt hollow; despite Yoshi's mess-ups and Snowe's seemingly uncanny ability to get himself into harm's way, Twix was supposed to be capable of saving them. Despite _everything_ he was supposed to be capable of coming through with what needed doing, with what was right. That's what his father had charged him with before he never came him. Twix was in charge of them, their safety and survival was on him ever since then.

Yoshi cringed. He was feeling far too much to pinpoint why, but he _ached_ so fiercely it nearly caused him to fall to his knees. He _knew_ he should`ve watched Snowe closer, Tommy`s convincing argument of `how bad could it be' was horribly uninformed when it came to Snowe's awful luck and innumerable near death encounters. Snowe was incompetent and pathetic and he should've been friggin' _tethered_ to someone.

But it wasn't Snowe's perilously close brush with death that was currently playing out that bothered him, what bugged him most was losing Twix's trust. He'd always hated how Twix took everything on himself, how he never trusted Yoshi with the responsibility of _anything_ in their lives. And now he had, and this one thing Yoshi slacked off, didn't do his job, and now his brother was going to die. And his other brother would disown him.

"I'm really sorry," Yoshi said again, this time barely more than a whisper.

Twix felt himself coming apart, a horrible unravelling within him when suddenly a firm hand grasped his shoulder. His eyes darted up to see Castiel's, a strong gaze connecting with his own. "It's okay, Twix." Castiel smiled warmly, squeezing the boy's shoulder, "Just look."

Dean neared the shore and stood, pulling Snowe into his arms to carry him the rest of the way up the beach. "It's ok, you're alright," Dean comforted Snowe as he carried him up. "See? You're back on the beach –no more water."

Snowe nodded, his body tense and arms wrapped as tightly around Dean as they could get. He was still trembling as they left the water and trudged closer to his brothers. "Thank you," he whispered, wiping tears from his eyes, sacrificing his grip to do so.

Dean looked down at Twix, the tired and weary expression on the boy's young face made him look a lot older than he had any right to look, "He's safe."

Twix stood in an odd silence as he watched Snowe in Dean's arms, his gaze drifting up to Dean's face dumbly. In moment where he should be so happy, so excited and relieved, he couldn't figure out what was running through his mind. The tears streaking his face hadn't stopped and the ache in his chest only grew tighter, only causing more and more of the aforementioned issue. His bottom lip quivered as he stepped over the sand to be beside Snowe, still strangely silent.

"Twix?" Snowe looked at him cautiously, unable to figure out what his brother was thinking. Normally Twix was so protective after something like this, and definitely scolding. Now he was quiet and crying, all he did was place a shaky hand on Snowe's shoulder.

"You're okay?" He asked in a tired whisper, and to all present it was obvious something was coming undone in him.

Snowe nodded slowly, "I'm okay, Twix." He glanced between Twix's left and right eyes, trying to see what was going to happen next. "Are you mad?"

"No," Twix's answer was short, his smile was twisted and his voice shook more than his hands. He looked up at Dean again and his lips moved for a moment but his vocal chords refused usage. His expression flinched and he tried again, "Thank you, I-" a sob escaped him and his shoulders tensed up, clearly trying to hold it back. He managed a breath with closed eyes; once he opened them again he seemed to steady himself, "We owe you so much, Dean." It was the first time Twix hadn't called him 'Mr. Winchester' and it meant something.

Dean's eyes met Twix's, and he knew that seeing Snowe safe didn't alleviate any of the hurt they was trenched deep in the boy's eyes. Twix's shoulders were visibly stooped with the weight of his burden's, and there was something bone chillingly wrong about the vacant look in his eyes. '_I wish there was something more I could do_,' Dean had already saved Twix's brother's life, what more he could do, he didn't know. Dean briefly entertained the idea of inviting them to live with Cas and the others, but somehow he knew Twix could never accept.

Snowe smiled a little; glad to see Twix was coming back around to normal, failing to see the situation for what it was. Twix was struggling to hold on and he wasn't doing it very well.

"No you don't," Dean denied all credibility. He felt somehow responsible, not charitable (although he was that as well). "You don't owe me anything Twix. Don't even worry about it."

Cas looked at the water, "No one got hurt so there's no reason for hard feelings or to let this little incident mark up our time together. We should do something else, there's plenty to explore around here." He wanted to try and take away from the severity and weight of the situation, hoping it would help Twix's, but mostly Yoshi's conscience.

Twix nodded, wiping his eyes, "Maybe we could get some food or something." Not that he was hungry, but it didn't hurt to suggest something.

As the others started walking down the beach, swimming now abandoned for the safer activity of finding food, Yoshi stayed behind a few steps, still shell shocked at the experience. He'd failed –miserably. The responsibility to care for them was clearly Twix's, and his alone. But Yoshi had no right to be cared for, not after this. And especially not after seeing how Twix was falling apart. To Yoshi it was plain as day, like a fissure erupting through a busy down town plaze. Twix was breaking apart, from the inside out. And Yoshi couldn't help but feel responsible.

**Author's Note****:**

**OKay, sorry it took so long! But it's here, and really long so I'm sorry for that too XP I don't know who or if anyone is still reading this but we're probably (my guess) about 4 or 5 chapters off from a finale :)**


	18. Chapter 18

**Author's Note****:**

**Hey all! Thanks for letting me know you're there XD Also I love the reviews, I'm glad you're enjoying it. (dhh I think you're missing the point of the story lol) **

**I understand if some of you are getting frustrated with the amount of OC peoples in here, don't worry there will be more Destiel coming up and a lot more drama. Hang in there, sit tight :)**

Aside from that first incident, the rest of the vacation went very well. The stress was lifted from them and everyone managed to enjoy themselves, even a little. Half way through the vacation Twix realized something while watching his brothers; they needed more money to keep living. Yoshi and Snowe were so small compared to their classmates; Tommy and Charlie were well built and very healthy young men. If they had eaten better, had done things like swimming lessons; that first day at the beach wouldn't have happened. Twix himself would have been in better shape and would've had no trouble saving his brother.

They needed money. So he went out to find some. It was midday; Snowe was happily colouring safe in the cabin so there was no worry in that respect. Twix wandered to the festivities section of the resort they were on, finding flyers for several different things happening that day and the day before and so on. He knew that there wasn't much this place could offer a kid in the next three to four days; he would need much more time. However that didn't stop him from looking.

His search was over much quicker than he'd imagined; a performing competition was taking place that afternoon. It looked like a singing-dance off thing but he couldn't quite be sure due to the simple fact that the winner received about $1000 American, roughly. He snatched up the flyer and ran to the building that they had sign-ups in.

Twix's heart stuttered when he spotted Castiel in the same building, looking at the many different events occurring within the next few days. He'd been doing his best to make this an amazing vacation for all involved, mostly because it was the first one that he and Dean had taken Tommy on. _'Maybe he didn't see the event...'_ Twix thought hopefully, going to the table dedicated to his objective.

Of course the first name he noticed was a beautifully scrawled Castiel Winchester and cursed his luck. He clenched his teeth and scratched down his name, he would not be scared away or intimidated. They needed that money and he was going to get it for them; it was that simple.

"Hey," Cas' voice sounded cheery as he spotted the teen, "That's great! I can't wait to see you out there," he was sincere of course, but Twix couldn't help but feel like the idol was sitting up on a pedestal.

"Yeah well..." he had no real response, "I don't know, worth a shot."

"That's the spirit." Cas pat him on the back, "I'm gonna go tell the others about it." He smiled and strolled out of the building; for the first time in Twix's life he caught himself being entirely juvenile as he stuck his tongue out at the angel's retreating strut.

It was only a few hours later but Twix had done the studying he needed to do well, something most people didn't realize about him was that he was capable of almost anything if he put his mind to it. He could learn almost anything and dancing was no different. People hated him for it; he needed almost no practice in so many things to be as good as the pros in the same field. And after the two hours of work he'd just put into it, he hoped that'd be enough to defeat the lead singer of _Pleasure My Angel_.

Somewhere, something inside him was quietly stating that there's no way a couple hours would help him do that much, but he refused to listen to it.

The rest of the vacationers heard about it, of course. Castiel had gone into the cabin and announced it excitedly, though to Twix's confusion he'd left out the part about the prize money. Was he trying to keep the competition down or had he just not even noticed it? Twix believed the former, of course. How could someone not see the prize section of a poster?

Castiel was thoroughly enticed by the idea of street dancing and urged Dean to come and watch. "It's going to be so much fun! You can sign up before it begins too, come on guys let's go." He tugged on Dean's arm urgently, his expression soft and pleading.

"Sign up? What are you, insane? I'm not signing up for street dancing. I'll watch you until the sun goes down and then some, but no dancing for me, I'm too old anyhow." Dean knew better than to say that, a hundred times over he knew better. It was simply a passing statement, and a joking one at that; but the truth was Cas was still as youthful and limber as the day they'd met. And that made only one of them.

Cas hadn't expected any less from Dean's answer though he was surprised at the way it came out, Dean was definitely getting on in age but they had this kind of unspoken agreement not to talk about it; ever. He decided to not let it bother him; it was their vacation he could freak out about death and stuff like that later.

Sam scratched the back of his head, he enjoyed watching street performances and he liked watching Castiel in his stage-presence mode so the two combined should then, in theory, be awesome. "I'm not gonna sign up but I'll watch." He offered.

"Even Sam wants to go; now everyone has to!" Jo laughed and hopped out the door and for the rest of them she had a pretty good point; Sam was usually the stick in the mud about everything and if he wanted to go then the group's decision had been made.

The sun was setting and the street lights were all lit, the central square of the resort was slowly filling with people interested in tonight's competition. Castiel, dressed in his common tight black pants and loose button-down shirt, stood in line with the other contestants. Twix adjusted the collar on the shirt from the magic bag that he'd chosen that evening, he stood near the end of the line away from Castiel, apparently lined up by age. He glanced down at the competition on either side of him and relaxed a little. He could do this.

"Damn, this is crowded!" Dean griped as he, Sam, and their giant crew tried to find a place to seat themselves. "Did they advertise Cas' attendance or something? This vacation's gonna be shot to hell if they did."

"Don't be such a worry wart," Bella kicked Dean's ankle as she slipped by him to sit next to Sam, "With multiple angels I'm sure we can fend off a few hundred fans."

"If the angel's are doing all the work, what's with this 'we' stuff?" Dead shot back.

"You know what I mean."

"SHHHH," Gabriel leaned between them, pointing forward towards the performers, "they're going to start, so would you guys just go ahead and shut the hell up?"

"Yeah yeah, it's not like we haven't seen Cas dance before."

Yoshi glared at him, "You know Twix is out there too, right? Have you seen him dance before?" Yoshi couldn't understand how Dean was so lovable. Cas stayed with him despite Dean's lack of support for his career, Tommy idolized him with no good reason, and now Twix was hounding the man as well –though at least that one could be explained by Dean's rescue of Snowe.

"Oh right, I almost forgot about that." Dean was settled with the others, and ready to watch.

The first round was a group thing, everyone out at the same time and dancing to the beat of a song chosen by the coordinators of the event. Twix's heart beat loudly in his ears as he moved, he could feel the intensity of the competition within minutes and it was only increasing. People were being called out and off the dance floor left and right after about five minutes in. His expression tightened and after every heartbeat he was certain that he'd be called on next.

"Don't dance because you have to," Castiel's voice sent shivers down his spine; he was so close, when had he gotten behind him? "Dancing isn't something you do because you must; it's something that moves you. You feel it and through it you can express anything; who you are, what you want or need, and why people should give you the time of day."

Twix found a way to mix turning to face Castiel into his movement and watched the way Castiel's body swayed, that masterful shift of his hips and his complete control over himself and others. It was astounding and for the first time Twix understood why PMA was so popular even after twenty years. Castiel was amazing.

The first round ended and Twix was still in it; Castiel's advice was not lost on him and he took that opportunity to learn from a professional. He would need all the help he could get to beat that angel.

"Wow, I can't believe that kid," Balthazar spoke the observation they were all thinking. At first the news was well received and encouraging –Twix was going to try and dance. None of them had seen the boy enjoy himself, so entering into a dancing contest seemed odd but a welcome change. The next most prevalent thought couldn't have anything other than 'holy hell that kid can dance.'

"I know, right?" Dean replied, beaming as though Twix's accomplishments were something he could take pride in.

Now that they had been dwindled down to eight people they could start the real competition. Neither Cass nor Twix were up first so they sat off to the side with the other contestants, not next to their friends. Cass happily waved at Dean and blew kisses from his position, thoroughly enjoying himself. Twix looked over at his brothers, Snowe was excitedly waving at him and obviously saying something but there was no way he could hear it.

"You're a good kid, Twix." Cass sat down next to him, "I don't know many people who would do the things you do for your family. There's only one bloodline I know of that would do the same, and considering how many people I've met that's kind of sad."

"Which bloodline?" Twix looked up at those clear blue eyes curiously, a skip in his chest livening his expression more and more. He hadn't ever gone dancing before; he had no idea what kind of effect it would have on him.

"Winchester." Cass smiled at him.

The sound of the name shot an image across Twix's mind, Dean was the only thing he could think of in that moment. Dean was an incredible person so the idea that he'd do anything for his family didn't shock Twix too terribly, but for some reason his heart skipped a little faster at the thought.

Across the floor while the organizers finished setting everything up, Snowe looked over at Yoshi, "I wonder why Twix signed up for this."

"It might have something to do with this," Sam lifted a poster for the event and pointed out the prize. "I don't think Cass knows."

Snowe stared at the number for a moment then looked at Yoshi, "You think...?"

Dean took a look at the prize, "Nope, no way in hell Cas knew about it. It's an amateur competition; I'm surprised they let him enter." Dean looked down to the dance floor, "Hey, what do you think they're arguing about?"

Bella shrugged, "Cass probably offered to give him the prize money. He is rich after all, what does he need another $1000 for?"

"Now time for the finale and figure out who our winner of the $1000 prize will be! Twix versus Castiel!"

The crowd cheered loudly at the sound of Castiel's name, by now it was well known who he was and what he did. Definitely a fan favourite.

They stood on either side of the dance floor, facing one another and Twix watched the shocked expression settle into Castiel's soft features. He looked at Twix with a new understanding as to why the boy was standing in front of him; Cass had no idea what was at stake here for this kid. "I should resign," the words came out of his mouth before he could catch them and consider their meaning. He didn't want to take this away from Twix, this opportunity for some actual money and a way to feed his family.

"Don't you dare!" Twix pointed at him, "I won't accept this just being handed to me, Castiel. You'll do this and you'll do your best. What good is winning something if you don't earn it yourself?"

Castiel's surprise subsided and he smiled, a firm nod in Twix's direction and they were in agreement. They stared at one another and both knew that the song chosen would either make or break them. The main organizer looked a little sheepish by the music board and took a microphone before hitting play, "I know this will sound and look unfair to those of you in the audience but we had _no_ idea that Castiel would be present for this competition, I promise." After those words Twix knew what was coming next and before he could even react he heard the beginning of PMA's current popular track.

Castiel looked at him apologetically but immediately his body started to move with the beat he recognized so well. It was his song, a song he had written with his friends and very recently had performed it flawlessly. He had it memorized and knew exactly what he liked to do and at what time, it was his world and Twix was barely even noticeable by the end of it.

Once the music came rolling out of the speakers Dean knew he had to do something. Cas was the winner by now, hands down. He was the freaking measuring stick for success for this song, and there was no way in hell a 13 year old boy could hit those baritone notes. Dean stood up, "Excuse me; I need to have a chat with the contest director."

This was the first time that Tommy had ever seen his mom perform. His eyes were wide and glued to Castiel's movements. "Dad..." he looked up at Dean, barely able to look away, "Did you know mom could do that?"

Dean stopped for a moment, "Yeah I did, that's how I met him. He lives for this, the music and the freedom that dancing brings him. He's almost a completely different person when he performs, carefree and serene. It's not something I'm ever going to try to take away from him, that's for sure. It'd be like locking a songbird away in a dark cage." Part of Dean felt ashamed for his actions from years past, but there was nothing he could do about it now.

Pushing his way through the crowd, and slipping past event security (a point of pride for Dean, he'd never gotten along with security workers), Dean approached the contest director with squared shoulders. "My name's Dean Winchester."

Any and all pop world followers knew Dean as Castiel's husband, an oddity of a man who usually stayed the hell away from the public view. Every pop figure had their marriage dogged by fans, and most of the time celebrities hooked up with celebrities. But not Castiel –happily married to a homely mid-western man. The announcer looked him over and answered excitedly, "I had no idea that PMA was town! This is so amazing; our contest is going to be all over the news!"

"Yeah yeah, you can't give the prize to Cas, it's just not fair. He's a professional, and this is his freaking song, and Twix is just a kid." Dean didn't care for the attention, and all he wanted was to get what he came for and get back to his friends.

"Are you insane? If we don't award the grand prize to Cas we'll have a riot on our hands. How do you think the fans would react if we flunked Castiel of PMA?"

"And that's so much more important that running a fair contest?" Dean roared back, never one for politics.

"Look, he's your husband. Just accept that he's successful and get back to your seat. Before we escort you out."

"I'll find my own way, thanks." Dean shrugged off the guard behind him and exited the dj's booth. If Cas kept that prize money Dean was going to have a few words with him.

When the music stopped Castiel and Twix were face to face, almost nose to nose. They both smiled and locked hands in a solid and friendly shake. No hard feelings.

The group was walking back to the cabin, Castiel with a shiny crown on his head and inspecting the cheque given to him. "That was amazing!" Snowe cheered gleefully, excited to see his brother do anything other than look after him. "You were so good Twix!"

Twix smiled sheepishly, "Thanks Snowe, though by the end there I think Castiel took the stage."

"Here," Castiel's hand extended to Twix, the cheque offered up. "You take it."

"I can't take that, it's too much." Twix looked at it, "Besides, it's signed under your name, I can't."

Cass smirked, "Fine, then I'll just have to cash it and _then_ give it to you."

Twix smiled thankfully, "But I didn't earn it myself."

"It takes a lot of courage to do what you did, so I'd say you earned it." Cass grinned, "But I'm keeping the crown."

Twix laughed, "Sure thing."

Dean visibly relaxed, Cas didn't need a talking to –of course he didn't, more often than not he felt the same way Dean did on these matters. Dean was just grateful that Twix accepted –that kid's pride may very well be the death of him.

"Wow Twix, I had no idea you had it in you," Yoshi complimented his brother, genuinely surprised. "It's a shame they didn't have a better ending song."

Cas laughed, "Hey now! Be nice!" He smirked, "That song and several others like it paid for this vacation!"

Twix smiled at Yoshi, glad to get some praise from his brother for once, "I have a lot in me, just gotta let it out I guess." He glanced at Cas, "And you can get over yourself for ten minutes to admit that song was awful." He was joking of course, he didn't usually listen to a lot of music but he enjoyed the songs from PMA when he heard them. Of course, like every band, they have some bad songs and whatnot but there were fewer of those for PMA than others.

That evening was spent in celebration and good times. Everyone went out for dinner and it looked like everything was going amazingly for once. Twix visibly relaxed though mentally his mind flashed through several things a mile a minute. He _needed_ money, he needed to support his family and save their lives. Yoshi was right; he was pretty pathetic and not standing up for his brothers when he needed to. Life wasn't going to wait for him, he needed money.

During the night and everyone was asleep, Twix quietly sat up and looked over at his brothers' peaceful faces. A soft smile graced his lips and he slipped out of bed and out of the room. Shoes were on and he snuck out of the cabin.

Dean leaned against the window frame of the cabin's master bedroom. Sleep had eluded him for the better part of the night, and Castiel was quite comfortably in the middle of the bed, with 90% of the covers –Dean just didn't have the heart to wake him. Cass was finally happy again, he was free to do what he wanted, dance and sing and pursue his career. He had everything he ever wanted in Dean –a patient, loving, and loyal husband. Dean only wished he could live up to these simple expectations. He was far from perfect, and sucking it up and pretending that he was for someone else's sake was well within his nature, but it always took its toll, loss of appetite and sleep were the forerunners.

Dean squinted through the blinds, was that Twix? What in the world was he doing out late at night, the kid was only 13. He may act like he's a 20 year-old, but he had no right taking the risks of one. Dean sighed and looked back at Cass, and then to the window once more. Twix probably just needed the time to think and sort some things out, the scare with Snowe couldn't have been far from his mind. "Maybe he won't go far..." Dean tried to convince himself that Twix would be fine, he only hopped that it wasn't his fault that something happened to him because Dean just didn't feel up to chasing the kid down at this very moment.

The streets were dark aside from the lights above, Twix's mind swarmed with options and ideas. Dancing and singing seemed to work very well for Castiel, but god knows how hard it was to even get to that point.

So a different route would have to be it. Advanced studies would be a good idea. Twix wandered down the streets and around corners, this way and that to figure out what he was doing. His mind was in so many places at once that he hadn't realized someone was walking behind him. A strong hand gripped him hard and pulled him back into a wide chest. His nose was struck by the smell of sweat and booze, a sour and dirty hand covered his mouth harshly.

"Don't say a word, kid." A gruff voice sounded in his ear, the breath of the man felt like it would rot the inside of his head. "I'm gonna fuck you and you're gonna be quiet 'bout it."

Twix's mind clicked into a gear he didn't know he had, a question coming to his lips that he couldn't help but mumble into the man's dirty palm.

"What was that?" The guy growled angrily, "What'd you say?" He lifted his hand from the silver haired boy's face.

"I said;" Twix turned his head, a strange glint in his eye, "I'll be quiet, if you pay me."

The man's face twisted slightly, he looked down and around the streets then back at the red eyes staring at him intently. "...How much?"

"How much you got?"

The guy looked in his pockets and lifted a grubby bill that Twix recognized to be about $50. "This good?" The guy asked, apparently pretty shocked someone would consider doing it with him.

'_No wonder he was going to rape me, he's desperate.'_ Twix thought as he reached for the money, "Good enough for a hand job." He stated firmly, snatching the bill from the man's hand and shoving it in his pocket. "Drop your pants."

The other man seemed to be okay with this turn of events and did as he was told.

Walking back to the cabin, wiping his hands off casually, Twix knew he found a way to get some money. People don't hire 13-year olds, not usually. This was his best bet. Granted his clientele would be difficult to coax into taking the bait, he'd get them.

Twix snuck back into the cabin and quietly crept across the floor to his bed. This vacation wasn't such a bad idea after all.


	19. Chapter 19

**Author's Note: Thanks again for all the reviews and support! Some individuals didn't appreciate the 'rape/prostitution' thing and I'd just like to say it's rated M for a reason, can't handle it don't read it (I assume, of course, that if you've read this much already you'll finish it off lol) Anyway on with the chapter!**

* * *

><p>"So I heard your brother won't be joining us for our graduation year, that kind of sucks," Charlie was sitting on Snowe's desk before first period English, chatting up the slender young man central to his dreams and two-year crush. The triplets had been a regular sight in the school halls for as long as Charlie could remember, and having Yoshi and Snowe without their guardian brother just seemed wrong. Twix had received an honorary diploma at the end of the last school year for his advance-placement classes, and this would be Snowe's first year without his brother's constant guiding hand. Charlie knew that there would be a void to fill, and he was happy to take it.<p>

Snowe lifted his head from the sketchbook on his desk, a photo-realistic picture of Twix drawn there from memory. "Yeah," the cutesy young male lowered his head and looked at the drawing, he was feeling numerous things about that very thing and the results were numerous pictures drawn, several of them being of Twix. Snowe could hardly believe that what he'd drawn was his brother; the man depicted in his sketchbook over and over in the last month was not only handsome but he looked so much older than Snowe. Despite them being the same age Twix never acted like it; but then they were never on the same level.

Twix was a genius, always had been. He knew everything for as long as Snowe could remember, and after turning five Twix was the sole protector of their little family. Back then Twix was incapable of actually physically protecting them from anything, he was smart enough to keep them out of that trouble most of the time. But now he'd grown, not only was Twix considered a super-genius by regular standards he was also good at everything else (aside from drawing, of course). Twix had taught himself everything he knew because he had to know it before everyone else; not because of an egotistic tendency, it was simply due to the fact that without knowing he would have lost everything a long time ago.

Now here Snowe was, without him. Finally Twix had stood up and stepped forward, ahead of the pack like he was always supposed to be. He'd graduated on his own though Snowe wasn't entirely sure where the money for something like that came from. Twix insisted that he was being sponsored by someone or some organization or something but Snowe couldn't really be sure. What he did know was that ever since that vacation with the Winchester household Twix had found some way to get them a continuous supply of money.

Snowe wasn't going to complain though; it meant more food, more clothes, heat in winter, running water, and art supplies! It couldn't be a bad thing so he stopped questioning it. "I miss Twix," Snowe nodded to Charlie, "I'm not sure if I'm happy for him, glad he's doing something he likes; or if I'm scared without him." He fidgeted with the pencil in his hand, looking down at the caring expression he'd masterfully sketched out on the portrait of his brother. Snowe didn't want to be taken care of like that anymore; he didn't want to burden those around him anymore. But what could he do? No matter what he tried he always ended up making it worse, especially for Twix.

"Hey, you'll be just fine." Charlie continued smiling; there was never a time he didn't enjoy talking to Snowe. And frankly, he didn't care what Tommy said –even if Snowe was a little slow and naive, that didn't make him an idiot or any less worth hanging out with. "You've got me, and Yoshi, I guess." Charlie was never really sure on that front. Yoshi had seemed truly sorry when Snowe nearly drowned, but those feelings of guilt never manifested into action of responsibility. Actually, they seemed to have festered into some kind of self-absorbed masochism.

"So what are you going to do once you graduate, art college right?" Charlie smiled at the shy boy in the desk. It never ceased to amaze others how incredibly _tall_ Charlie was. He'd taken right after his dad and towered over all his classmates and many of his teachers. His tall frame was slowly filling in, and the contrast between himself and the small, sheepish and slender Snowe was nearly ironic.

Charlie had already known that getting money for college would be more than a challenge for Snowe. The boy had never worked a day in his life, and his brother Twix was working nonstop to keep the brothers together and alive –and sometimes it seemed like his priorities were in that exact order. But Charlie was sure that between his mom and Uncle Cass he'd be able to help Snowe out.

"I wish," Snowe scoffed and packed up his picture and supplies, knowing class would start soon and he'd rather not fumble around during the rush of the first day. "But we don't have that kind of money, and I don't know if I'd be any good in college." Snowe didn't doubt his abilities, not by far. His artistic skill was enviable by even the best artists of that time; he wasn't good with intellectual things but artistically Snowe couldn't be beaten. What he did doubt was his ability to go and do things on his own. This year would be his first test.

Yoshi rolled his eyes at Charlie's blatant advances on his incompetent brother, and could almost laugh at just how dense Snowe could be for not picking up on it. He was 17, but he acted like he was 12. Life would be a harsh teacher in these next few months without Twix there to hold his hand. Yoshi wasn't about to pick up that slack –Snowe needed a good wakeup call anyway. Reality was a bitch and he hadn't learned that yet. As far as Yoshi was concerned, Snowe wasn't even capable of appreciating the sacrifices his brother had made for them both –how could he? He didn't even comprehend it! Yoshi tried to brush his contempt aside and focus on something else. Something like Tommy Winchester.

Tommy walked into the classroom, a leather jacket draped over his shoulders and on top of a Led Zeppelin t-shirt. The chain on his jeans clinked as his hips moved around the sea of desks, his biker boots clacking against the tiled floor. One thing Tommy disliked being complimented on was his hips; they were just like his mom's and he could hardly stand it but moving them and dancing felt so good. He cursed Castiel for that.

"Hey Yoshi," Tommy grinned, bright blue eyes making contact with the deep red ones his friend held. His voice was inherently deep, a mixture of Dean's shiver-inducing baritone and Castiel's rough gravelly sound. Tommy was much like Dean for several reasons though the main one was the tie-in to the rest; Tommy tried his hardest to be just like his dad. It was fairly obvious by the clothing he wore and music he listened to; Castiel often asked him why he didn't wear a PMA shirt and the answer was always the same: "Wear a shirt with my mom's pop-band on it? No thanks." Tommy pretended to not care about the hurt look in Castiel's eyes after each rejection but after doing it several times it wasn't so hard.

"Hey," Was Yoshi's nonchalant reply. He'd pretend he hadn't noticed Tommy's vast physical development, that he didn't see the unconsciously seductive sway of those slender hips beneath Tommy's heavy denim jeans. The teen was drop-dead gorgeous, but his ego may very well match his appearance in magnitude, and Yoshi was never one to feed compliments to others. Part of him disliked Tommy for being so attractive –he garnered far too much attention from other people. And that wasn't limited to just the girls in the class either, some of the other male students stared with lustful gazes but most disturbing were the looks that the teachers shot him when they thought no one was looking.

"You excited? No Twix to dampen anything this year." Tommy smiled happily; finally he'd be without the 'triplet drama' for a while. Yoshi was awesome, just not when Twix was around. It always made Yoshi's mood turn sour, whether he was pissed that Twix was being nosy or just not acting his age or whatever, Tommy didn't know. Regardless, he was glad that Twix wasn't in class.

"Ha!" Yoshi scoffed, "I still live with him, and instead of spreading it out through the day, I'm going to get it in one concentrated assault for an hour after I get Snowe home from school, and then Twix will vanish into the night for his job and won't show up till god knows when. You should see how he's changed, it's sort of..." Yoshi didn't know what to say, good? Weird? Creepy? Or was it just concerning, that Twix would leave like that. Yoshi pulled a few stray strands of his midnight black hair out of his face, "Doesn't really matter."

Tommy squinted at his friend but shrugged it off, he knew better than to pry. Though something in him made him ask anyway, "You okay?" His concern was evident though the sounds of the girls in the class chittering caught his attention.

Yoshi looked at him and pondered the question. All in all, he was both alright and horribly not alright, it all depended on what the goals were, what was the definition of 'alright'. "Yeah, I'm fine. Family business is how it is, and I know you're sick of it. But hey, if I didn't have that, my music wouldn't be nearly as good. Everyone needs their source of inspiration, right? Did you want to come over and practice later?"

"Hey I'm not saying I'm sick of it, which I might be, but I'm just saying... Well I'm here if you need to talk about something..." He scratched the back of his head, "And ya know what? Yeah I want to come over, let's bleed out some ears and stuff." He smirked.

"Mmhmm," Yoshi didn't believe for a second that Tommy wanted to hear a damn thing about it, and Yoshi wasn't going to give up his position of aloofness. His family _bothered_ him. There was so much about it that just didn't sit right, and the amount of psychological problems they probably had from their upbringing were countless, but they still lived like hobos and once school was out for good, Yoshi was going to piggy back off Tommy's money and make it somewhere. That had been the plan for years, and it seemed to be working just fine.

"I can't wait for practice, but you know you sing like your mom right?" Nothing better than teasing Tommy, it was just too easy.

Tommy glared at him instinctively but had to pause to think about it after the fact; Castiel was an amazing singer, how was that at all a teasing comment? "Thanks. And hey, at least I _can_ sing, screamo-guy." He smirked back at his friend, poking him playfully.

"Hey, did you _want_ to be a lame pop band?" Yoshi stabbed back, "I didn't think so!"

"Oh my god no way! You got it!" One of the girls chided in the corner of the classroom, several of them were gathered around the trend-setter (aka. The Bella) of the school. She triumphantly held up the brand now _Pleasure My Angel_ CD; _We See You_.

"You still listen to that crap?" Tommy blurted out automatically; he'd kept the fact that he had a famous band living in his house a secret since that 'angel' thing back in middle school/junior high (he couldn't quite remember).

"It's not crap Tommy," Melanie spoke up immediately, glaring at him dangerously, "It's music and it's beautiful and fun. Castiel is the most gorgeous singer ever and you wouldn't know good music if it hit you in the ass."

"Being pretty has nothing to do with good singing," Tommy argued, "Besides, I bet Yoshi's better." Tommy couldn't deny that performing was in his blood; he and Yoshi often had band practice over at the triplets' place. He could do at his mansion sized house easily, however having a real band there judging you was often less helpful than most would think; especially when your mom's trying to give you tips.

"As if," the girls laughed, though they seemed pretty excited that Tommy was even talking to them. Tommy and Yoshi were considered top-dog in their school; Charlie was often on the edge considering he was a poin-dexter. Granted Sam was easily the proudest parent in the house thanks to Charlie's efforts, Tommy still pestered his cousin for being such a keener.

"Hey!" Charlie shouted at Tommy, "What the hell are you going around saying that for? How do you think your mom would feel, hearing you say shit like that?" Charlie knew better than to name names with Tommy in public –or even genders. His cousin was as hyper masculine as he could get, following in his father's biker boots despite the fact his father was gay. It was just twisted; the way people present themselves in school just to be popular.

Tommy shot his cousin a look but noted the confused expression on their classmates' faces. "I think my mom would shrug it off like an adult and tell me I'm entitled to my opinion," he stated carefully, not wanting Charlie to randomly turn into a tattle-tale on him but also not wanting to back down from what he'd just said. Of course he knew that Castiel was a sensational performer, it was hard to miss. But that didn't mean that at school he was into that kind of thing.

Yoshi raised an eyebrow; inter-family fights that weren't his own always held a certain curiosity. Charlie and Tommy had frequently been mistaken as brothers, with the same last name and living in the same household. And in a lot of ways they may as well have been, but there were just some things that were just a little too different, and most of those differences were highly pronounced in their later years. Without all the extra layers and if Tommy just dropped the attitude, he'd be comparable to Snowe –Tommy's body was slender, as accentuated by his overly feminine hips. The total opposite was the case for Charlie –he was built like a tank. It was only twelfth grade, but Charlie towered over everyone, taking right after his father.

* * *

><p>Dean shut the hood on the Impala was a satisfied smile on his face, she was still running beautifully and this had been yet another day well spent under the hood. Wiping the sweat from his brow the back of his hand, Dean decided it was time to throw in the towel; he could spend a few hours cleaning her up tomorrow.<p>

"Cass?" Dean called as he walked into the house, kicking off his grease covered boots in the entrance. "You guys done in the studio?" Dean listened for a reply and shrugged off the silence –the recording room was sound proof for obvious reasons, not to mention the house was large enough that wherever Cass was if not downstairs he could still miss Dean's call.

Dean walked up to their bedroom, stripping out of his dirty, sweat soaked work clothes. That shower was just _calling_ his name. Dean looked over at the flowers on the bedside table, the one's he'd bought for Cass a day or two ago –Cass hadn't seen them yet. The night before was spent out with the band, doing whatever it was they had left to do. The night before was publicity stints for the new album, and Cass had been put up in a hotel for the night. Dean knew it didn't happen all the time, but something about the unseen, days old bouquet just didn't sit right with him.

The shower ran hot, steam rolling over the porcelain rim of the tub and out over the floor. Dean just stayed under the water, motionless for minutes on end. Hot showers were relaxing right after a hard day's work; also if you were stressed about something. If you'd have asked Dean Winchester what the real reason was, he wouldn't be entirely sure himself.

* * *

><p>Castiel dropped himself onto his hotel assigned bed and let out an excited sigh. He loved doing things with the band and quite frankly this last weekend had been so much fun! It'd been forever since it was just him and the band, the last time they toured, <em>actually toured<em> was before Castiel met Dean. He missed sleeping on the shitty beds of the bus and all that. "You know guys..." He sat up happily, his eyes lit with a renewed glow, "We should tour. You know, bus and all."

Anna smiled, "That would kick ass, but you need permission first."

Cass paused and nodded, "Yeah, probably but I don't think Dean will mind if I vanish for a while. I mean if he misses me that much he can call me and I can visit when I need to." He and Dean had been together for a long time now, over twenty years already. Their relationship was at one of those stages where they needed to add excitement, not that they were teetering or anything but it wouldn't be a bad thing for some adventure. Castiel giving Dean some real free time and going off to do at least one more tour wasn't so terrible a plan. Or at least to him. He was pretty sure Dean wouldn't overreact though.

Castiel and the band came home around noon the next day; he skipped inside and jumped right into Dean's arms, kissing him on the cheek. "Hey baby," he smiled sweetly. Can I ask you a question?" His blue eyes sparkled innocently, the way a child's did when asking for permission.

Dean smiled, the endless energy and enthusiasm Cass gave off warmed him every time, and here came the question. Dean kissed him back, and waited for the boot to drop.

"The band and I were thinking it'd be good to... you know, go on tour. And not like once every couple nights I go out but the whole tour bus thing." He wasn't sure what kind of reaction he was about to get but he had his fingers crossed.

"A full on tour huh?" Dean mused, wondering what that would be like. "Don't you guys have the uh, ..._worst_ past times on that bus? Promise me you'll shower regularly and I think we'll be ok." Dean smiled back at Cass, by now he knew far better than to even give a hint to any form of 'upset' but in all honesty, he didn't feel as clingy as he did in the past. He was old, 45 now, and more than ever he figured he should be worried that Cass would find someone else. But he trusted Cass more than anyone, and it didn't even seem possible that Cass could find someone else.

Cas smiled, "Of course I'll shower regularly, and if I don't then I won't tell you about it." He kissed Dean's cheek; glad to see that he wasn't taking it too hard.

"I think you should go. It'll be good for you."

"Really? You mean it?" Cas beamed, his eyes wide with excitement, "You won't be depressed if I go? Or mad?" He hugged Dean, squeezing him promptly and nuzzling his cheek, "I love you so much! Thank you!" Cas crawled into his lap and wrapped his legs around Dean's waist, "So is this a 'I don't want to' moment or are you good for sexy times?" He smiled happily, almost not believing that he just got permission for this.

Dean let out a short laugh, "Just because you're not aging doesn't mean you can stop maturing!" He was teasing of course, but the childish language only served as a harsh reminder in the back of Dean's mind. "Why not, I've never been one to turn it down." Cas was evidently excited, and Dean really didn't want to shoot that down. He slipped his hands beneath Cas' taught ass and lifted him off the couch with him. "What're we waiting for? Let's get going."

Cas smiled and wrapped his legs around Dean's waist, "That's the spirit," he nearly purred against the friction between himself and Dean as he rubbed against him. Carried into their bedroom and tossed onto the bed playfully by his lover, Castiel didn't even see the flowers left on the bedside table for him. Throughout their entire love-making session he hadn't noticed them, missing the meaning behind them entirely and feelings that Dean was carrying with him.


	20. Chapter 20

"Field trip, huh?" Dean looked over Tommy's permission slip, probably the last one he'd ever need to sign. His son was nearly 18 now, legal age and free from parental permission slips. Part of Dean wished if he didn't sign it then Tommy couldn't grow up, would have to stay at home with him. Dean had spent many of his waking hours with Tommy, teaching him about cars, introducing him to real music; everything Dean knew he shared with his son while Cass worked on his (now very successful) career.

Charlie placed the volunteer form in front of Sam, "The older we get, the less parents volunteer for the trips, we're really short this time around. Do you have time to come dad?" Charlie wasn't sure if Tommy was even going to invite Dean this year –it had stopped being cool to bring your parents a long time ago. Charlie didn't really care about image; he was smart and really good at sports. He talked to who he wanted to talk to, and he was really good friends with Snowe. Sam coming with wouldn't bother him at all.

Sam smiled warmly, happy that his son was still willing to invite him along. "Of course, Charlie." Sam had taken up some hobbies of his own which actually landed him as a part-time lawyer, only taking on jobs he felt were in need of his expertise. Other than that he was always nose deep in some kind of learning exercise. Sam loved to study, research and all that. He could be described as a professional student though he didn't actually go to any school now. Basically, Sam was just curious about things.

"Where you guys off to this time?" He asked, another habit of his natural curiosity.

Charlie smiled, "There's a really awesome Da Vinci exhibit set up down town that we're going to go see. There are original artefacts and replicas of da Vinci's original notebooks. It's going to be awesome!"

Sam nodded, "That sounds like fun actually," He knew Dean was probably making faces about it but didn't really care. This was his kind of thing, always was.

Dean looked at Tommy expectantly, one eyebrow arched suspiciously. He was waiting for his volunteer form, itching to go with. He wondered what the triplets were like now. He'd seen Yoshi on the odd occasion, hanging out a little _too_ closely with Tommy. Snowe never came by and Twix was even more of a shadow. Dean's mind remained on Twix for a few short moments, remembering the look in his eye, the hard-won trust after years of being nosy.

Tommy glanced at Dean then back at his permission slip, he knew he should offer. The kid in him always wanted his dad there, his hero. He wanted Dean to be there to witness his awesomeness at school... And yet after what he'd said about Castiel and PMA, he wasn't so sure he wanted Dean to see any of it.

"I'm going too," Dean declared, as though his word on the matter was final. And in most cases, it was.

Tommy looked at him but didn't deny him what he wanted; instead he slipped over the volunteer papers. He'd brought them home just in case, just in case he wanted Dean to be there, just in case he was scared of pushing his father away by not taking them. "Here," he said nonchalantly, a trick he'd learned from Yoshi, "You have to bring money for food though," he smirked knowing that wouldn't be an issue.

"I dunno..." Dean took the volunteer papers, "We might just go hungry this time. You know your mom's going to be out of the country for a while. No bread winner, no bread." Dean knew Tommy knew he was teasing, they were set for life, Tommy would even be set for life –but of course, Cass would be there for all of his life, and the years after Tommy passed on too.

"K, I'll bring money for the triplets too, they never seem to have any. Speaking of, how's Twix doing?" Dean never seemed to ask about Yoshi, despite the fact that his son was practically dating the boy. Dean also didn't ask all that often about Snowe, who by all means was the one that needed checking up on. No, it was always Twix he asked for.

"He graduated already, took some advanced courses and stuff." Tommy shrugged, "I don't talk to him much really, not really buddies with Twix." He had several issues with the other boy and would rather not get into it with his father who seemed to be a big fan.

"Oh, and how long would it have taken you to give me those volunteer papers if I hadn't just taken them from you?" Dean eyed Tommy carefully, his mind briefly drifting to the unreceived flowers on the bedside table in the bedroom. Tommy was starting to live his own life, hell, he'd been at it for years. Creating his own personality, attaining his own likes and dislikes and opinions of whatever he cared to give an opinion on. It wasn't going to be long until Dean's hovering closeness was going to be perceived as smothering, and Tommy would push back for independence, not all that different from Castiel. Dean's aging hazel-green eyes looked truly old for a moment, the eyes of a lonely man in a house full of people.

Tommy saw no need to bother his dad so he just smiled, "Once I was done making you stress out over it, you worry too much dad." He walked toward the fridge to find something to munch on and paused, "But that doesn't mean you can go out of your way to embarrass me."

Dean wasn't blind, and he saw what happened for what it was. It was nice that Tommy tried to spare him the hurt feelings, but that just meant yet another loved one pittying Dean for his neediness.

"Don't worry about, we'll have a blast and I'll be sure to stay out of your hair. Besides, I'm pretty sure they don't put students in the same group as their parents for field trips anymore –preferential treatment and all that."

Tommy shrugged, "Actually they usually do but it isn't a big deal." The kid in him wanted to be overly excited that his dad was coming with, was going to be in his group and they'd get to hang out together. Of course the teenager in him throttled that promptly and replaced it with 'whatever'. "Can I ask you something? Why are you so interested in Twix?"

"Honestly?" Dean pondered the thought, never expecting Tommy to even ask. "He's reminded me of myself in the past, that's all. But I'm worried that under different circumstance, he might not turn out ok." Dean knew he was worried about more than that, Twix would probably die for his brothers, might even go out of his way to try to. And Dean could already see that Yoshi didn't appreciate him, not his sacrifices and not as a brother. So Twix worked harder, didn't bring any attention to his accomplishments or how badly they'd needed them. Twix needed his brother, or else the kid would probably go insane.

Tommy stared at him for a moment, wearing similar clothing with a similar hairstyle, worked on cars like Dean and liked the same music at him. After all of that, Twix? Fucking Twix reminded him of himself? "Whatever." Was all Tommy could be bothered to say at first, his blood boiling under his skin. His temperament was closer to Castiel's than Dean's, "Just..." He clenched his fists hard enough to cause the rest of his body to start shaking, "God DAMN IT!" He stormed out of the room after swiping a hand across the kitchen table and knocking everything onto the floor, including Sam and Dean's coffees.

Sam blinked for a moment, "Inherited the Winchester anger problem combined with Castiel's tendency to over-react..." He looked at Dean, "Good job."

Tommy pulled his shoes on and threw his bag over his shoulders, "Charlie bring my permission shit!" He shouted and ran out the door, not wanting to deal with the consequences of shouting at his dad.

Dean sat dumbfounded at the table, jaw still slack from shock. Slowly he schooled his expression, clicking his jaw shut, lowering –and then furrowing- his eyebrows. Dean turned to face Sam, "Alright, what the hell did I do? And that Winchester rage? That's you, dad, and now my son. Someone up there is laughing their _asses off_ at my piss-poor luck."

Dean looked out towards the front door, Tommy was long gone. Dean knew where to find him if he wanted to, he always knew where to find his loved ones –it was his job to know. If Sam ever wanted to lose them as kids he'd have had to jump a bus to another state. When their dad was out drinking to stay away from the family after a fight with Mary, Dean knew exactly which bar or which friend. If Castiel needed down time, even if he was flying there, Dean had a damn good guess where he'd park his butt. It was Dean who paid attention to these small things in people's life, preferences, and personality. So why didn't he know what was bothering Tommy?

"That," Sam pointed toward the door, "Was you accidentally expressing how you see yourself in a random kid from his class and not your own son; who, by the way, has done everything he can to be just like you. It's like you and dad, the way you followed him around and copied his every move and did all you could to be him. Then he turned around and said he sees himself in me, which I know pissed you off more than you ever admitted." Sam figured that'd strike home with his brother, not entirely feeling bad for what just transpired between him and his son. _'Serves him right for favouriting some other kid.'_

"How is this anything like me and dad?" Dean knew the answer before he even asked the question. Sam was right- this was exactly the same. Clothes, music, hobbies, mannerisms... all down to the T. But Dean never denied that his dad was the best. John was cool, and Dean loved spending time with him. If the conversation came up at school, John was an ex-marine, amazing in every way possible. Dean was proud to be his son, proud to be seen with him. But John was never as attention needy as Dean was, and that measure of aloofness probably contributed a fair bit.

Sam raised an eyebrow at his brother, "Really? You don't see it?" He knew Dean saw it, they both understood a basic layout of what was going on with Tommy.

"But Tommy _hates_ me half the time. I'm an old, lame parent who's too 'uncool.' I'd never say that about dad, it's gotta be something else."

"He doesn't hate you, Dean. And getting older means you are the basis on which kids judge what uncool is. We are what they look at to decide what they should do, as in opposite to us. If I started wearing really baggy clothes they'd think tight clothes were better. It's just a teenager mentality, he'll grow out of it."

Dean eyed Sam skeptically for a moment before letting out a heavy sigh and dropping his gaze to the floor, "I guess you're right, but I'm not getting _any_ sleep until I talk with him tonight. If he doesn't come home I'm gonna kick myself." Dean didn't want to think about any further than that, what he'd do if Tommy never came home, how would he tell Cas?

* * *

><p>Dean waited up late into the night, sitting at the end of Tommy's bed and waiting for the boy to slip back into his bedroom window. Tommy would be expecting Dean to be expecting him downstairs, like a normal irate dad after that outburst. He wouldn't want to deal with it tonight, so the window it would be. And for some reason there was something inherently 'cool' about midnight window entrances.<p>

Tommy walked up the sidewalk in the dark, his backpack slung over his shoulders casually. He'd spent his time with Yoshi away from either of their houses. Yoshi carried a guitar with him and Tommy didn't anything other than his voice, they had spent their time in the park practicing until the sun went down. Neither boy wanted to go home so they stayed later, just sitting and staring. Tommy couldn't forget the tired tone of either of their voices, Yoshi with his brothers, with Twix, and now Tommy and his dad. And Twix.

'_I'm going to find a way to get that son of a bitch out of our lives...'_ He thought bitterly though no ideas came to mind. He easily scaled the house's wall and hopped into his window, not noticing the figure sitting there.

"Hey Tommy, you were out pretty late. How was practice?" Dean's tone was casual, but for someone unadjusted to the darkness of the room without the light of street lamps the unexpected voice in the room would undoubtedly make him jump, regardless of the tone.

And jump he did. Tommy fell against the wall and slid down it staring with wide eyes, "Dad? What are you doing in here?" He stood again, his expression darkening as he recalled that morning's events.

"I just want to know what I said that set you off, that's all. And whatever it is, I'm sorry."

"You don't even know what you're doing, dad." Tommy looked away angrily, "How can you possibly be sorry if you don't know?"

"I know when I feel guilty and want to set things straight. I don't have to know what I did to know that I'm sorry it happened." An apology would be what Tommy was looking for, tailored to the situation and a confession of all of Dean's sins; it wasn't going to happen.

"But you know what? I'll tell you anyway." Tommy marched closer and glared at his father, leaning closer, "It's that fucking Twix. Everywhere I go all I hear about is 'Twix this, Twix that' fucking Twix, Twix, Twix, Twix! I'm sick of it!" His frustrations tensed his body and he squeezed his eyes shut, "Even you! Of all people, even my own dad would rather ask about Twix than acknowledge everything I've..." He trailed off, sniffling to stop a slow stream of tears from his eyes. "Why?" he sobbed, his voice cracking, "Why him?"

"Tommy," Dean's tone was sympathetic, if Tommy was starting to cry then maybe he didn't hate Dean after all. "I love how you copy me, it's a form of flattery if you ask me. The music we have in common is a rare taste for someone your age, most of the bands you listen to are dead. I don't overlook or regret any of your contributions, but you're my son. If I ever saw you as being like me I'd have to throw myself off a cliff for not learning from my dad's mistakes."

Tommy tilted his head to the side, something copied from Castiel of all people. "Why? What mistakes?" He didn't understand what Dean's issue was, why was it so bad to be like him?

"What, you think your grandpa was perfect? He was an ex-marine, a hard ass if I've ever met one. I idolized the man, but that doesn't mean he deserved it. If you ask your uncle, Grandpa Winchester wasn't fit to raise kids, and I guess we kind of have our, uh... 'quirks' because of it." Dean was aware of his incomplete answer, but vague was how he always played it when forced to the wall, and Sam hated it.

Tommy nodded slowly, thinking he understood the idea Dean was trying to get across. He was, however, too much like his parents and didn't intend to let go that easily. His expression remained stern as he watched Dean carefully.

Dean would've taken this opportunity to get up off Tommy's bed but the boy was still inches from his face, practically breathing fire. Dean grabbed Tommy by his slender hips and picked him up –the teen wasn't any heavier than his mother; a lithe form making it hard to put on muscle mass. Dean sat Tommy on the bed next to him, "I never want you to be just like me, and if you have been I may have intentionally looked past it. Everyone has their ghosts, and I'd really rather you not have mine. I love you for being my son, not for being me. Ok?"

Tommy was tense on the bed next to his father, his mind telling him to keep a distance from Dean because that's what he should be doing as a teenager who's the popular kid in class. However an ache in his chest pushed him closer, shuffling him to be right next to Dean. Tommy leaned over and rested his head against Dean's shoulder, arms coming up and clinging to his father, "I'm sorry dad," He whispered, "I shouldn't have… Acted like this, or yelled at you or anything. I don't hate you, don't think I hate you."

Surprise was an understatement, but Dean took the welcome change. He placed an arm over his son's stooped shoulders, bringing him in closer. '_God, I am pathetic. How many teenage boys need to stay home and comfort their father_?' Dean rubbed Tommy's shoulder, trying to comfort his son after going so far to make him feel guilty. "I'm sorry Tommy, it's normal for kids your age to yell at their parents and do all that stuff. No one's perfect, and I shouldn't expect you to be. I forgive you, but don't worry yourself about it."

Tommy relaxed against his father, nodding with relief that there wouldn't be any bad blood between them.

"And how did you know I thought you hated me? Were you talking with uncle Sam?" Dean realized his mistake seconds after it left his mouth. Tommy was worried that Dean would think that, he didn't actually believe that Dean had.

Tommy looked up at Dean, his blue eyes searching his father's for a moment. "No…" He said slowly, "I just know you, and I know that's the first thing you think when someone acts against you." He wasn't sure how to take Dean's emotional shift; normally these things were aimed at Castiel.

"So…" He shifted on the bed, looking down at his hands, "I do want you to come on the field trip, I like hanging out with you. It's just… At school I kinda got a…" He wanted to say reputation, to warn his dad he'd be a little different but he figured that Dean understood without his saying. "I think you get it." He looked at Dean with a smile, "You were the cool kid at school too, right?"

Dean burst out laughing, "Yeah... yeah I get it," Dean chuckled a little more, "Reputation is a nasty thing, I was there too." Dean's mind wandered back to high school, to the ins and outs of being the right guy at the right time without betraying family expectations. And yeah, sometimes he disappointed is parents or brother. "But at the end of it, you don't keep many friends from high school. I ended up with Sammy and a fair number if his crew. Never talked much with Chuck or Jo during high school, and honestly, aunt Bella is an ex of mine... But that's not really important." Dean reached over and mussed up Tommy's hair.

"Whoa, really? Aunt Bella and you? I can't see it." Tommy laughed, "You're always with mom, who's a guy. How did you ever go for aunt Bella?" Tommy figured it had something to do with the whole 'popular kid' thing and having to be on the football team and date a cheerleader and whatnot. Regardless, though, he couldn't picture his dad with anyone else.

"Before your mom I was straight as an arrow, or so I thought I was. Never took a second look at a guy, never cared to. My relationships never did last too terribly long, though." Dean chuckled a bit at that. Closet-guy, he still didn't like that descriptor of himself.

"Well I'm glad we talked, no way was I getting any sleep until we did. Have a good night Tommy."

Tommy smiled, "Night dad. Love you." He kissed Dean on the cheek and started getting ready for bed.

"I love you too, Tommy." Dean smiled sweetly, glad he'd stayed up for this. It could've gone so much worse. Actually, this was probably the best possible turn out. Dean closed Tommy's bedroom door behind him and wandered off to his very empty, very cold bedroom.

* * *

><p>"Alright!" Gabriel ripped the oversized headphones from his ears, "That's a wrap! Guys, this trip is going to be <em>so<em> awesome! We've been prepping night and day and I think we're going to rock those stages, all 23 of them, or however many stops we've got."

Balthazar nodded, smiling deeply, they were all stoked for this, and while none of them exactly how Dean had been able to let go so easily, none of them were complaining. It was nice to finally have their singer back, fulltime. "We'll pack up for now, the tour bus leaves tomorrow noon. There's lots to do before now and then, so no slacking off!"

"You got it, Michael 2.0." Castiel saluted Balthazar as if he were standing in front of Hitler. "Relax a bit, this is gonna be fun." He smiled widely. "Okay okay, off to bed with me." He waved at his friends and vanished.

"Hell yeah!" Gabriel shouted, almost a musician's battle cry. "I'm going to have one last hurrah with Jo before hitting the road, that's the 'work' I have left to do. See you guys later."

Balthazar simply chuckled, shooting a smile to Anna, "We're fortunate to have one another in the same band, none of this 'non-member business distracting us from the music. We should get some rest." And by rest of course Balthazar had meant retire to a bed but not necessarily sleep.

Anna smiled and kissed Balthazar's cheek, "Fortunate, eh? I wonder sometimes." She took his hand and led him away.

It was late and most of the household was sleeping when Cas appeared in his bedroom. He smiled at Dean's sleeping form and started to undress, ready to crawl in and wake him up for a similar experience that Balthazar and Gabriel were looking for. As he lowered his pants he spotted a vase on the bedside table, a bouquet of flowers slowly withering there. A sharp pang in his chest reminded him of things he'd rather not remember. How long had those been sitting there? When was the last time he bothered to check? He walked over to them and raised his hand over them; a gentle light sparkled between his fingers and the flowers. The browned decorative gift started coming to life and back to a full-bloom.

Castiel smiled, and found a pen and paper to scrawl a note to Dean on to find when he awoke in the morning. He placed it beside Dean's head just off the pillow and gently slid under the covers. Cas rested his forehead against Dean's warm back and wrapped his arms around his husband's torso. He was so happy to come home to someone so patient with him, someone who loved him that much. "I don't deserve you," He whispered softly, kissing the back of Dean's neck.

Dean found the note later that day, after Cas and the others had long boarded their bus, and were probably well on their way to the first concert location**. **_**'Sweetheart I got the flowers and they're lovely. Thank you for that, I appreciate that you'd still do things like this for me. I'm sorry I wasn't here to get them fresh but I know what you wanted to say and thank you. I love you too.'**_

"You're wrong," Dean muttered to the note, "They said 'I miss you,' they represent how I feel without you, and they were withering away before you even got to them." Dean crumpled up the note and tossed it in the trash, "But that's ok because I have magic and can make it all better." Dean dropped heavily onto the bed, his face buried in his hands. He's the one who said it was ok for them to leave, and it was, Cass deserved it, but Dean still couldn't help that shadow of abandonment lurking in his chest.

* * *

><p>One week later there was a crowd of restless teens waiting out on the front of the school with the sparse number of chaperones, waiting to board the buses. "Hey Sammy, this is going to be a hell of a lot more crowded than that first time, huh? And there probably won't be any travel songs either." If there was one thing that Dean had regretted, it was not having more kids –but they really didn't have control over that, it had been some odd fluke of Cas' nephelim genetics, and then it was over.<p>

Sam smiled and nodded, "Yeah a lot of the kids we went with all those years ago grew up Dean, it happens. Though we'll be sitting next to one another again so I don't think we'll have much less space than last time." He looked at the slew of teens and sighed lightly, "If you start singing, by the way, I'm going to throw you out the window and under the bus."

Tommy laughed, "Whoa whoa Uncle Sam! I still need him for lunch later."

Sam grinned, "Too bad, I'm still gonna do it."

"I know you would Sammy, but then evil Sam would lose control to the good side in you and then you'd panic and dive after me, leaving the whole family Winchester-less. Can't have that, now can we?"

"Charlie and I are Winchesters too," Tommy snapped then looked back at the crowd, searching for his friend. He was having a hard time walking such a fine line between not ruining the field trip but showing Dean he was still somewhat pissed with him for the whole Twix thing.

Tommy just shook his head and looked at the other students, waving to Yoshi as he and Snowe wandered into the area. Snowe waved back, of course, not knowing that the motion wasn't directed at him. He trotted up and smiled happily, "Morning!"

"Hey Snowe, is Twix going to be joining us?"

Snowe paused and glanced backward, "Isn't he behind me?"

"Is he?" Dean turned to look, something in him jumped, excited to see how Twix had turned out, if he was ok, if he was a wreck, if he needed help –if he needed _Dean_.

Twix nodded at the teachers who had intercepted him and strode by them to catch up with his brothers. His walk was different than before, he carried himself better than he used to with more of a direction in his movements. He knew where he was and what he was doing, things seemed planned out and he had them under control. His hair still silver and spiked despite its length, red eyes focused and determined though they would never be free from looking tired. Slender body and elegant features combined with his intelligence made him quite the catch; however you can never get Twix without getting his dedication to family, and that meant they came first.

He was taller than Snowe and tied with Yoshi, which was evident as soon as he was close enough. "Sorry, just had to double check something." Twix smiled at Snowe then looked up at Dean, "Good morning." It'd been a long time since they'd spoken or even saw one another; Twix was surprised to see Dean there since Tommy had hardly seemed keen on the idea of having his parents nearby.

"What're you doing here Twix?" Sam asked curiously, "I thought you graduated already."

"I did, but I asked if I could be a junior chaperone for their last fieldtrip." Twix smiled at his brothers then looked back at the Winchesters though mostly at Dean. "I hope that isn't an issue."

"Not at all," Sam smiled back.

Dean was more than happy to see Twix again, he'd grown into a fine young man. And in a lot of respects, 'fine' would be the most accurate word. Dean didn't miss the confident step or the upturned jaw, and that confidence reminded Dean of someone, and stirred up a stubborn longing in his chest.

Despite the fact that Sam did all the answering, Dean got the distinct impression that Twix wasn't even looking at the younger Winchester brother. His red eyes were locked with Dean's, speaking directly to him. "Good to see you, Twix," Dean offered, not wanting to ignore him. "You know you don't need to be so formal, we go too far back for that."

Twix hadn't missed the glint in Dean's eye; he'd seen it several times before. His smile was bright and enticing, something about it drew others in to him, "I'll keep that in mind, Dean."

"Alright, alright, enough flirting." Sam waved his hands at them to usher them along, "Move it, they're loading the buses."

As everyone was filing into the bus Sam leaned over to Dean, "Something is _really_ not right with him now." He motioned toward Twix, "Something's different." Normally it didn't matter to Sam if someone walked differently than they used to, this was a kid he'd met years ago and had grown up. Longer legs changed the way you walked; Sam knew that first hand. However the change in Twix was different, his clothing, for one, had gone drastically from modest and relatively uncaring to dressing very well and finding things that fit his figure. Everything about Twix was off from what they knew, he was normally so uptight and high strung and stressed out. Now he acted so relaxed and in control, which would normally make Sam feel better and not worry about the kid.

The problem was that Twix's apparent clearer outlook and lightened step didn't coincide with the bruises on his neck or vacant look in his eyes. He was putting on a front for this fieldtrip, clearly, but there was nothing Sam could do to find out what was up.

"Sam, you've been saying that for years. The kids had no parents growing up, and Twix was the responsible older brother. So what if he's more mature than others his age, he doesn't regret what he's sacrificed, otherwise he'd have up and rebelled by now. I'm sure he's fine." All talk and no confidence makes Dean a very unbelievable boy. Not for a second did he believe Twix was ok, but what could they do about it? Not a thing. And maybe Twix did regret some of those sacrifices, but he was far too deep now to get out on his own.

Sam looked at him, his expression best described as 'the bitch face', "Dean, I doubt you even believe that." He looked up at Twix's hand gently placed on Snowe's shoulder, delicate yet firm. "I don't think things have gone well for him since the vacation." It was hard to forget that crumbling shell of a boy that returned with Dean and Castiel from the beach, trying desperately to put himself back together.

"Ok, I'll talk to him later. It's the least we can do, I'm just going to temporarily dump my team with you, think you can handle twice the teen angst for a while?" Dean smirked at the latter commented, but was evidently dead serious about the former. Twix had been Dean's unspoken responsibility that he'd given himself. Every time the triplets were involved, ever since those God questions back at the museum in first grade Dean was certain he wasn't just a by-stander to those kids anymore.

Sam nodded, "Sounds good to me, and I've been handling you for my whole life so I think I can take a bit more." He smirked back, "Just make sure you don't accept 'I'm fine' as an answer."

"Yeah yeah, do I ever?"

Snowe sat separately from Twix as everyone boarded the bus, as soon as he saw Dean get on he darted back one seat where Twix had dropped down. "Sit here Dean! Sit here!" Snowe smiled happily, patting the seat ahead.

"Alright, if you _really_ want me to." Snowe was awesome, too dense not to be carefree, and always so friendly and open about his emotions.

Snowe nodded quickly, Twix didn't speak though the look in his eyes said enough, he wanted Dean to sit nearby. He hardly took his gaze off the older man.

Tommy sat in the back with Yoshi, as they always did on bus rides though he didn't expect Charlie to join them this time. Mostly because Sam would be at the front and so would his crush Snowe.

"I don't get why he doesn't just ask that kid out already," Tommy muttered, glancing at Yoshi, "You okay man? I mean I noticed our dear wet-blanket friend Twix is here so figured I'd ask." He knew that since high school started the triplets hadn't been kept together like they were back in the younger grades, so Twix being present didn't necessarily mean he would be with either of his brothers. Of course, it was Twix and Twix managed to get what he wanted when he wanted it; or at least when it involved the school anyway.

"Yeah, if we could not talk about Twix, that'd be great. And for the record, I'm just fine. Why does your dad always involve himself with my brothers, it's almost like he's trying to adopt them or something. It's weird."

"If you say so," Tommy wasn't entirely thrilled to talk about Twix either, "My dad likes Twix, he reminds him of himself or something stupid like that." Tommy crossed his arms and looked out the nearest window, "I'd rather not talk about it."

Yoshi raised an eyebrow, for all the times that Tommy pushed a subject that Yoshi didn't want to talk about, this was just perfect, not entirely in a mean way, but all the same. "So the music and leather jacket and mechanic gig isn't what makes your dad Dean." Yoshi offered, and though it sounded like he was belittling Twix's efforts, he was actually going somewhere with this. "And if your dad identifies with Twix, did you ever think that might teach you something about him that you didn't know? Your dad sees himself as weak, Tommy. He sees himself as responsible for others, burdened, and alone. It's the emotional state that's doing it. You're privileged; you have money, talent, and soon enough fame. You have family and friends built in and you don't have to fight for anything." Yoshi backed off, not wanting to agitate Tommy further, "Just think about it."

"I don't want to talk about it," Tommy growled again, but that didn't mean he hadn't heard. There was something to be said about Dean seeing himself in Twix, that was true and Tommy couldn't deny it. He copied the material things, not the personality. In fact, he wasn't even sure he deserved the admiration from his father or mother. What had he done for them? When it came to things like school he always shunned them, pretended they were as uncool as every other parent. But they weren't, far from it. Dean and Castiel were the hottest parents around and, Castiel especially, the most fun. Why would he go out of his way to treat them so badly? He even almost avoided getting Dean to chaperone. "I don't deserve it," he said out loud before hanging his head.

And while this would've been a golden opportunity to rub in Tommy's face how he truly _didn't_ deserve it, how Yoshi and his brothers used to live out of dumpsters just to survive while he had a silver spoon in his mouth, that wouldn't have gone anywhere productive. Yoshi just rubbed Tommy on the back, "People don't always get what they deserve. Some get less, some get more, and that's usually out of their control. So don't worry so much about it."

"I'm sorry Yoshi," Tommy was feeling strange, after the other day with Dean and an overwhelming amount of sadness creeping in on him he didn't know what to do. He missed his mom already, despite Castiel not being gone that long yet he already missed him. "I don't know what's going on with me right now." He could explain it to Yoshi but at the same time he knew it wouldn't matter, Yoshi wouldn't care.

Yoshi raised an eyebrow, "Why? What's wrong?" Yoshi was at a loss, for all the time he'd known Tommy the boy had acted like he had it all together. He knew who he was, where he came from, and where he was going. He took pride in his work and between the two of them they had criticized so many of those who couldn't live up to the same standards. And now Tommy was unsure, broken down, and _sad_ about something.

"Just… family problems, ones that I think you'll be pissed at me for if I complain at all about them." Tommy looked up at his friend tiredly, "I know you guys have had a really hard time and I haven't, so it isn't fair for me to whine about it." He sighed and shrugged, "So stop me if you want me to shut up, but I had a fight with my dad and my mom left for several months. I'm feeling a little… down today. That's all." He wasn't sure what to make of Yoshi's concern; normally they were both so aloof about everything.

"Huh," Yoshi wasn't sure what more to say, he knew that he _should_ say more, but he didn't for the life of him know what. "How'd you get in a fight with your dad? I thought you idolized the man..." A fight usually meant that there was some sort of disagreement first, and then two opposing sides, that didn't happen if Tommy was the guy's 'yes-man.'

"I do, and he saw himself in Twix so I flipped out." Tommy shrugged, "We talked it through last night though I'm still not happy he's so interested in your brother. It bugs me."

"And I guess you don't realize what you have until it's gone, regarding your mom, I mean. He's out there having a blast, doing band stuff and living it up with a immortal band mates... except for Anna. That's kind of funny, actually." Yoshi chuckled a bit, but that was short lived with his nicely depressed friend sitting next to him, "Don't let it get to you too much, most of it is out of your control anyway."

"I know you're right," Tommy smiled at him, "Though I'm not so sure I know what's so funny about mom being out on tour with his immortal band, minus Anna." He paused, "Well, when you say it like that it sounds kinda funny." He laughed a bit, no point in staying depressed and ruin the whole fieldtrip.


	21. Chapter 21

**Author's Note****:**

**Again, thanks for reading everyone! I believe this chapter may piss a few of you off lol So keep reading after this chapter anyway! Things are closing in on a finale, I can feel it XP Thanks for your reviews and comments, I wish I had time to get to them! Regardless, here's the chapter :) Don't hate us please _**

The groups were made when they arrived and everyone moved into said groups to figure everything out before leaving. Sam was glad that the teachers placed Charlie with him again, these little experiences he had with his son wouldn't be forgotten, even when the boy grew old.

Considering Dean's mentality was the most child-like out of all the chaperones he'd been given Twix as the extra 'help' in case he needed it. Of course, as expected, Snowe was decidedly in that group as well along with Yoshi, most likely Twix's doing. Tommy was with his dad so he was glad to at least have his best friend nearby, regardless of the fact that his cousin was off elsewhere.

Dean shifted his weight from left to right, trying to figure out his best course of action. Dumping the group off on Sam was fine, but Tommy and Yoshi would give him the weird eye, like they had been for most of the trip so far. Dean decided that didn't matter, something was up with Twix and he was going to figure it out.

"So Mr. McCloud gave you guys handouts?" Twix looked at his brothers for clarification, Snowe promptly nodded. "Right, the first thing you're supposed to do is find each of the pieces of art and whatnot listed here and give a summary of the description for all of them." Twix was looking at the instructions given to him upon his arrival, apparently they were supposed to be Dean's but the teacher wasn't a big fan of his. "Sounds easy enough. Let's go."

"I've got a better idea," Dean interjected; it _was_, supposedly, his group. "We're going to temporarily pair you guys up with the other Mr. Winchester and his group and catch up." Dean turned to look down the hall at Sam, who already knew the drill. Mr. McCloud had already taken his group and gone. "Sammy, can you watch these guys? We'll be right back."

Sam nodded and motioned for the kids to join him. Twix's expression twisted a little, what on earth could Dean be up to? Tommy frowned and looked over at Yoshi in confusion who could only exchange the glance with a similar expression.

Dean pat Tommy on the shoulder as he walked by, "Behave yourself."

"Wait, Dad!" Tommy protested, "Where are you going!"

"Just need to have a talk with the mini-chaperone, don't worry about it." And Dean didn't think any more of it. Tommy wanted to be mad, and if there was one thing he learned from his father and brother was that if they wanted to stay mad, they both could and would, regardless of what you said.

Tommy watched Dean's back as he walked away, his mind blank of things to say as his father approached Twix once again. "What... The... Fuck..." His eyes narrowed and he shoved his hands in his pockets, angrily turning back toward the group. His chest felt like it was ready to burst, he wasn't sure if it was anger, or maybe he was that upset Dean would choose Twix over his own kid. This was supposed to be his last field trip with his dad and that stupid silver haired jerk was ruining it.

Sam raised his eyebrows sympathetically and sighed. "It's okay, Tommy. Your dad's just doing me a favour, I asked him to do that."

"Why?" Tommy glared up at Sam.

Sam shook his head, "We'll talk about this later, Tommy." He looked at the rest of the group and moved them along; Dean would catch up in a little bit.

Dean continued walking toward Twix, placing a firm hand on his shoulder, "Snowe will be fine with Sam and Charlie, we know what can happen if we don't watch him." Dean's voice lowered to a whisper, "Now you and me are going to have a little one-on-one time, alright?" Dean straightened, a hand still gripping Twix's shoulder as they disappeared into the exhibit, out of sight from the others.

Twix's eyes narrowed in thought, considering what Dean could possibly know, or want to know after seeing him for the first time in several years. Regardless, Twix didn't fight back, letting Dean lead him to an obscure area. "It's funny that you didn't say Yoshi or Tommy," Twix spoke with a bit of sadness in his voice, remembering their vacation several years back.

"I'm sorry to say that Tommy isn't exactly one to look out for others, at least not for others who don't benefit him in anyway. I guess I kinda messed up with that. And from what I've seen, Yoshi doesn't do much to do anything, sorry." Dean's grip loosened, though his hand remained in place.

Twix smiled and shook his head, "Nothing to be sorry for, Dean. It's true." He wasn't sure of what to make of the hand still holding his. By now Dean must have realized that Twix wasn't fighting back and would, in turn, follow Dean to where he wanted to go. Why was he still holding his hand?

Once secluded from the public eye, Dean turned Twix to face him, "It's been a long time, how have you been? I've been worried..."

Dean was worried? Twix couldn't quite wrap his mind around the idea that someone was worried about him. "I'm okay-"

"And don't you try to tell me you're ok, because it's plain as day that you're not."

'_How would he know? Or anyone else for that matter?'_ "I'm not doing that badly, Dean." Twix smiled a little, despite how much he wanted to trust Dean, how much Dean had done for him in the past; he knew that these last three to four years he'd been doing things on his own. A man he had seen as a guardian figure back then hadn't been around as much as he needed, granted he should have gone for help years ago and it was just as much his fault as it was Dean's. "I..." He used to see Dean as father but it had been so long, or maybe he was just that twisted that he felt an attraction to him.

Dean could see Twix struggling with what to say and do. His mind was racing so fast that he'd failed to keep complete control of his auspicious behaviour. His shoulders were unconsciously drooped, betraying his lack of confidence in whatever this was, it was all very slight, but Dean caught the finer details. Dean had whittled him down from 'I'm fine,' to 'not doing too bad,' to almost revealing what was wrong. And more than ever, Dean was certain that something was wrong.

Twix's heart pounded in his ears, the thought that someone wanted something from him he could deal with, the idea that someone was worried? That hardly made sense to him. He knew what he wanted, however. As long as he kept moving for what he wanted and needed he wouldn't break, he wouldn't lose control in the face of confusion and he wouldn't shatter against an unknown force.

Twix took several steps closer to Dean until they were pressed against one another; he lifted a hand and trailed it down Dean's arm smoothly. He wouldn't allow himself to give off any air other than confidence; he knew what he was doing. "I really missed you." He whispered, his eyes flicking up to connect with Dean's, he held eye contact for several seconds before leaning in closer. His lips brushed against Dean's, he could see it in the older man's eyes; Dean wanted this too.

Dean's hazel-green eyes were alight with intrigue and want, concern was a firm backdrop, but taking a backseat. Twix was so _close_, his breath passed over Dean's lips and the sensation sent a chill wave of thrill down Dean's spine. A deliberate stirring in his pants demanded more, and Dean's willingly obedient arms wrapped around Twix to hold him close. He hadn't recovered use of words; stun and lust were running the show.

Twix closed the gap, pressing his lips to Dean's passionately and hungrily. His hands slid around Dean's torso comfortably, resting on his hips and getting a good feel for the pounds of muscle there.

Dean's eyes fluttered shut as he gave in to the sensations of the fervent kisses. The exploratative hands elicited a low moan from Dean's throat as they brushed past his hips. Dean tightened his hold on Twix, trying not to grind his hips forward into the _much_ younger boy.

What the hell was he doing? For all the fear of Cas leaving, for all the times Dean was worried that Cas would cheat on him while Dean aged into an undesirable old man. Cas was frisky, and wanting, so what reason did Dean have to be doing this, to be _wanting_ this? The sting of abandonment gave Dean's chest a little jab, well where was Cas? Dean didn't know, Cas must have been too caught up in the fun and excitement to give a phone call. Dean shoved the guilt down, way down, and pushed forward. He deserved something after all those years of trying to get what he wanted from Cas. And if he shut Twix down now, he'd never know what the boy was going through, or how to help.

Twix broke the kiss and looked up into those hazel eyes again, "I know you want this, Dean." His hand slowly crept along Dean's chiselled hipline, heading for more sensitive areas. "Just say it and it's yours."

Dean's lust blown eyes shone down at Twix through long lashes, the want and desire danced like lights through his vision, "You're right, I want this." Dean leaned forward this time, initiating the kiss. One hand snaked up Twix's back to hold the back of his head gently, a mitt full of hair softly guiding Twix through the kiss, keeping him close –desperately close. Dean's remaining free hand slipped lower down Twix's back, cupping the boy's firm ass.

Twix shivered into the embrace, relaxing his neck muscles to allow Dean to move his head around. He'd never felt such a strong body against his, a strong and loving form holding him close. He wanted it; he wanted Dean more than anything. His chest ached for the first time today; out of all the clients he'd had he never once felt something like that. He could trust Dean, it was okay to care about him, and it was okay to let Dean hold him.

Twix was no stranger to hands exploring him; he knew the right movements to counter with and did so promptly. His left hand came up and cupped Dean's jaw, finger tips stroking his earlobe; the right slipped down easily into the older man's jeans, stroking his thigh teasingly. Normally Twix would say that it was habit to respond to an ass-grab with such a hip movement and sexual touch, but with Dean? It was probably more an attempt to show off what he knew.

In the distance Dean could hear the touring groups, "And this is da Vinci's famous flying machine..." Dean broke the kiss and looked Twix in the eye again, "We should move." Dean took Twix's hand and led him down to the elevator labelled 'Staff Only.' Dean took a quick glance around for staff or cameras, and upon finding neither, he promptly escorted Twix to the basement.

Twix's cheeks were flushed red as he darted down with Dean, his lips swollen from the feverish make-out session. He took the steps one at a time, never letting go of Dean's hand. Out of all the times he'd held another's hand it was always Snowe, and he was always the one leading. For the first time someone was holding his, someone was showing him where to go, and this someone actually wanted him. Part of him wanted to give in to the overflowing feelings that started stinging his eyes but he knew he couldn't. No one wanted to have sex with a crying teenager, no one good anyway.

Twix swallowed the lump in his throat before Dean even noticed it was there. Once they found a good, hidden space, he let go of Dean's hand. Twix hooked his thumbs into the bottom of his shirt and expertly slipped it up and over his head. His hips were slender but well defined; Twix was definitely not an unattractive skeletor kid, not like he used to be. He'd filled out in all areas and actually had a decent build going.

Dean's eyebrow arched as his hand was released. He turned to look at Twix, but he knew there were many other things going on right now that were more important than hand-holding. That suggestive glint in Twix's eye only added to the heat of the moment as the teen's shirt hit the floor. Dean took another look over, taking note of Twix's desirable frame. The teen was always maturing faster than others in his age group, and right now that was a very, very good thing.

Twix slid his hands down his torso seductively, his expression matching his motions perfectly. With an expertise that was hard to place, Twix undid his pants and removed the last of his clothing. This sort of thing was best done when naked, that was something he'd learned the hard way.

Dean let out another pleased moan, dragging his teeth over his lower lip as an expression of ravenous hunger. He wanted this, he wanted Twix and he still couldn't figure out why. Wasn't he happy? Didn't he have everything he wanted with a superstar wife and a family? They had everything they wanted, so there was no need to want. But Dean needed someone to really _need_ him, and Twix was in need of something.

Twix wasted no more time getting to Dean; he pressed himself against the larger male and slipped his hands under the shirt that remained between their bare chests. Twix smiled and tugged the fabric up and over Dean's head, tossing it into the pile of clothing he'd started. He couldn't help himself but place his cheek against the warm flesh of another, his ear catching the sound of Dean's heartbeat. Twix knew instantly that, if given the chance, he could easily be lulled to sleep by that steady beat.

Dean knew this was something, if nothing else it was certainly more than nothing. There were lots of people out there who were just looking for a good time, just looking for that adrenaline rush. Those people didn't care who, just what. And _this_ definitely wasn't _that_. Dean knew he was looking for the emotional side of the encounter before it even started; he was looking for that unity and need. And judging by Twix's sentimental pause –an act that displayed more vulnerability than he was probably even aware of, he wanted it too.

Dean leaned down, gently gripping Twix's jaw and angling his head up for a soft kiss on the lips. He was adorable, desirable, and downright horny. Twix moved like he'd done this a hundred times, but the passion in his actions showed that despite his skill, he had no experience with true desire.

Twix's own personal feelings aside, he'd already started the act and there was no stopping it now, not for him. Twix skilfully unbuttoned Dean's jeans, zipping them down and slowly sliding them lower on his nicely formed hips. "You're very attractive, Dean." He whispered, honestly meaning the compliment and enjoying the reality of it. He'd rather not count the number of people he'd slept with that were ugly as sin.

Dean huffed, his voice low with desire, "Don't sound so surprised." Despite the warning aimed at Twix, Dean was surprised; he'd kept up with a rigorous gym regimen –him and Sam both. They ate well, kept fit, and tried their damndest not to age more than they could help. But for a youthful individual such as Twix to honestly find him attractive? The words mattered less than the attention Dean was paying them, what with his pants around his ankles and Twix's attentive hand on his naked form. Dean let out another aroused shudder.

Another first, Twix found himself aroused by the prospect of Dean. His usual technique involved mentally preparing and mastering his own body, he could force himself to harden with enough thinking. Not this time, however. The blood from his brain rushed down to his loins without him having to even suggest it.

Twix knelt down as he pulled Dean's pants and underwear to the floor, his vision in line with the swelling, leaking cock of a man he respected more than he knew. Twix licked his lips and leaned in, his tongue flicking over the pre-cum that had already formed. Normally it was mind over matter to keep his gag-reflexes at bay, but now he enjoyed it. He liked the taste of Dean.

With Twix's mouth tentatively around his cock, Dean let his pride fall. Choked back moans of pleasure were no way to compliment a job well done. Dean's shoulder blades were supported by the cold stone wall behind him as he let out a long, low moan accompanied by a full body shudder. Twix was talented, and eager, and just plain good. Dean's eye lids fluttered shut as he lost himself to the feeling, his hips unconsciously rolling forward to increase the pleasure.

After gauging Dean's reaction, Twix leaned forward, taking in the blood-swollen weight and pushing deep into his mouth. His tongue worked around it, feeling the different pressure points, paying attention to the twitch of it and to Dean's moans.

He smiled, which proved a little strange with a mouth full of cock. He'd found what Dean liked, what kind of pressure and the different teasing methods. His hands came up and braced against Dean's hips firmly, pushing him against the wall for more balance. Twix got to work on the dick pressed against the roof of his mouth, his tongue slipping around the hardened flesh as his head bobbed appropriately, scraping his teeth lightly along the shaft. He brought his right hand in and started massaging and stroking what he couldn't fit between his lips. Twix was a master of deep-throating, he could easily touch foreskin to the back of his throat without choking and even move the muscles back there to increase stimulation.

With his hips pinned Dean could only manage the sparse twitch, which was hardly needed given Twix's talents, but a habitual and instinctive motion. Dean's breath was coming in heavy gasps between thoroughly pleasured moans, and he was just _so close_...

With enough of this to get Dean into as excited a state as possible before letting him over the edge, Twix backed off and smiled up at him, his lips red and swollen from the act. He stood up and kissed Dean again, tongue slipping into the older man's mouth and lazily prodding at the similar muscle Dean owned. Twix wouldn't deny his tongue was a little tired; he wanted to do his best for Dean and thusly pushed it a little too hard.

Dean's eyes stirred behind closed lids before coming to attention, "Twix...?" Dean panted, needy and covered in a sheen of sweat. The kiss was a bitter-sweet one. Bitter for obvious reason, but not in a bad way. It was sweet because of Twix, because how hard he was trying; because of how much he wanted to do for Dean, and how his emotions came through in these more tender moments. Dean gladly kissed the teen back, happy for the lazy kisses.

"If," Twix started to speak softly, his lips barely separated from Dean's, "I spread my legs and bent over that work table across the room, would you take the invite?" He smiled, red eyes glancing up and down between Dean's eyes and lips.

Dean's eyes were alight with temptation, and he was still more than on board, but his answer wouldn't be exactly what Twix intended. "No, I wouldn't take that." Dean leaned forward to close the gap between their lips, indulging himself in another soft kiss.

Twix's heart felt suddenly heavy though he didn't fight it when their lips met again, his eyes watered against his will but he didn't have the strength to ask why. He knew if he spoke now he'd stumble and fall; but he wanted to know. So badly he wanted to know why Dean, someone he actually wanted inside him, wouldn't do it. Of all the people who would, why not him? When the kiss broke again he lifted his gaze cautiously.

"I want to see your face when I take you," Dean lifted Twix up; hugging their bare chests together and encouraging the younger man to wrap his slender legs around Dean's waist.

Twix took the invite; a little concerned that Dean would feel his heartbeat and how excited it was. The tears at the edges of his eyes slipped away with a slight laugh and a smile, no one had ever said that to him before. Anonymity was a big thing in his field, people didn't like to see the face of the person they were treating like an object, it made them feel bad.

"I want to sit on that work table with you in my lap, so I can see the look in your eyes when I come, deep inside you." Dean's voice was still low and breathy as he talked dirty to his new partner, carrying him across the room to the agreed upon work table.

Twix shuddered from the idea, not looking away from Dean's lustful gaze. "I want to," he whispered in response, slowly moving his hips forward and back in a smooth humping motion. He was certain Dean could hear the thumping in his chest, feel it pounding hard against his ribcage. He leaned forward, his arms around Dean's neck, and one hand in the man's soft hair the other clinging to his skin. "I want you, Dean."

Dean slipped one of his hands down to Twix's puckered passage and massaged the rim of muscle there, prepping the teen for a possibly uncomfortable experience. By this time Dean was more than certain Twix was well versed in the sexual scene, more knowledgeable than he had any right to be at his age. Something was wrong, and Dean would figure it out eventually. Getting them what they both wanted right now held a stronger priority. Up to three fingers prep was given to the teen squirming above him. "You ready?"

Twix was still moaning from the touch, he'd never enjoyed it to this extent before, or ever for that matter. He moved against Dean's fingers almost as if he'd never felt it before, though the ease of prepping him made it obvious he'd done it numerous times. Twix didn't answer readily, he wanted to feel it properly this time, moving and pressing down on the prepping motion eagerly. His body covered in a moist sweat as it heated up, his eyes half opening to look at Dean who he knew was still left in a needy state.

Twix smiled, "Of course," he relaxed against the man he looked up to happily, "Please do."

With permission, Dean slowly slid the girth of his shaft into the tight passage of the younger teen. It was good, but looser than expected. Dean felt a small comfort knowing he wasn't hurting the boy, but that was nothing compared to the rage boiling in his stomach at the implications left from this discovery.

Twix was lost in the feeling, crying out instantly. He'd never felt this good, his heart ached knowing Dean wasn't using him, wouldn't vanish afterward. And physically he was shocked at how his body moved, so different now even compared to just last night.

Dean started thrusting in more once they were settled, a strong hand working Twix's cock. "God, you're so hot Twix," Dean murmured into the teen's collar bone while planting heated kisses down his neck. "I want you, more than once, more than this. I want you to be mine," Dean increased his speed, feeling the depths of the boy above him, getting off on the taboo of it all.

Twix gasped and moaned, his heart fluttering more and more as Dean spoke. No one had ever known his name, let alone used it during the act. And Dean wanted him, he really wanted him. Dean understood him, understood what he was and what he did and never questioned it.

As much as he wanted to think about the complex emotions running through him in that moment, the lack of blood in his brain didn't allow it. "Oh god Dean…" He breathed heavily, moving against the older man. "I-I" he stuttered uselessly, trying to explain what was about to happen without being able to. He felt Dean's hardened cock skid by his prostate repeatedly and it was driving him crazy. Using his leg muscles he readjusted his angle and in the next thrust he felt the contact, Dean slammed into him and hit a sweet spot immediately. Twix threw his head back and lost his control, screaming to release the pleasure in hopes it would give him relief.

The sight of the boy above him, open and vulnerable and trusting, was nothing short of amazing. Twix had truly lost himself to the moment, given himself over completely to Dean. Every little twitch of his small body begged Dean to do more, out of need and fear of breaking Dean could see the pleading in Twix's eyes not to stop, not to throw him away. Every glance Dean could take into this person, this hurt and twisted individual, drew him closer. How could anyone have been treated so badly? Through their entire life, to struggle and feel worthless. Dean wished he could make it better, and he never stopped planting kisses along Twix's slender form as they moved together.

"DEAN! Dean oh GOD!" Twix's fingers dug into Dean's back, his other hand gripping the brown hair of his lover tightly. "I can't! I can't hold it-!" Twix cried, his body tensing and shuddering. Within seconds he came, spraying his release all over their chests, dripping down without any shame. His body shook through the rest of his orgasm, pressed against Dean helplessly.

Dean could feel Twix's entire channel tighten as he came, pushing Dean over the edge to climax with him. Dean's strong arms held Twix firmly in place as Dean steadied himself after a mind blowing orgasm. In that moment Dean sincerely doubted Twix had ever enjoyed any of his previous encounters, had never found the pleasure in the act or the intended closeness it should bring. Dean held Twix against him, both of them breathing heavily and Dean gently caressed Twix's back, trailing his hand down his spine and back up to bury his fingers in Twix's silver hair.

Twix whimpered into the nape of Dean's neck, finally coming down. His mind raced back into gear to catch up with him; what was that? Dean cheated on his partner, on Castiel, to be with _him_. Dean wanted him, wanted him over and over, and wanted to own him. Twix struggled to understand but found that he didn't want to. With Dean, for the first time in his life, he felt safe. He felt like the world wasn't sitting on him, he was appreciated for all he did and it made sense why he did everything that needed to be done. Dean cared about him in a way no one else could, a way that no one else ever had since his he was five years old.

Twix adjusted his arms around Dean's shoulders and tried to bury his face into the man's skin, trying to hide himself. Tears fell down his cheeks like waterfalls and he couldn't do anything to stop them. He sobbed violently into the caring man beneath him, his limbs tightening their hold. "I don't…" he could hear himself blubbering nonsense before managing to speak real words. "I don't know what to do." He choked out, his shoulders shaking with the same force as his increasingly harsh breathing, his chest heaving up and down.

Twix's sudden breakdown should've been more unexpected then it was to Dean. Just by watching him in the last while Dean pieced together a fair amount of back story, or at least the emotional havoc it had wreaked on the poor boy. Dean's immediate reaction was one of comfort, keeping Twix close and hoping that maybe his steady heartbeat would calm him. Dean wasn't letting go of Twix's sobbing form.

"I sh-should ask for m-m-m-money but-but I…" he looked at Dean's eyes desperately, hoping an answer would pop out of them to explain why he felt like this. "I-I don't want that fr-fr-from you. Not you, Dean." He could feel his chest almost implode then almost explode repeatedly, his sobs slipping right into hyperventilation. Twix struggled to control it but he couldn't, his mind was overrun with too many things at once to manage any kind of counter-assault against it.

Dean pulled back to look at him, "I'm not paying you for the act; I'd be giving you money so you can live. And if I don't take up this situation and give you money, then I will always know in the back of my mind that you're out there getting money from someone else, and that just will not fly." Dean couldn't stand the thought of Twix, the underage, underprivileged, underappreciated boy that he was out on the streets with abusive men for money for his family.

Twix started to calm down, his mind regaining control of a body that was so far off the wall. He gasped with deeper breaths until he could find the ability to speak again. "Thank you," he whispered, looking up at the most caring hazel eyes he'd ever seen. "But I'm sure you already knew about that… Didn't you?"

Dean choked up at the thought that he could have prevented this, and he just had to know, "How long?"

"Remember that vacation?" Twix sighed lightly, feeling his chest rise and fall the way it was supposed to. "One of the nights I snuck out, I was trying to clear my head but I ran into a man. He was going to rape me and I… I told him to give me money for it first, so he did." Twix shook his head, "I was trying to find a way to get us healthier, we needed money or we'd die for sure. I was doing the bare minimum before that but we were all growing, we all needed more of everything to live. I had to… I have to keep them safe. It's the last thing my…" He trailed off, remembering the last smile he'd seen on his father's face. "It's my job." He replaced the previous thought quickly.

"I went on the street the first night we returned, back then I could charge for more. I mean, there are people with fetishes that wanted to have their way with kids and one just standing on the street waiting for it? They bit; I charged them for the rarity of the act… It was immoral and illegal and I did it anyway. Snowe and Yoshi are alive and well today, so I don't regret it."

"I want to keep you away from those people, just tell me how much you need, and I'll get you more," Dean spoke seriously and kissed Twix's forehead sweetly, pulled them chest to chest again and rested his jaw atop Twix's head. "I'll help you, I promise."

Twix had considered the fact several times that his pride would be the death of him. Now would be a good time to swallow it. "I could really use the help," he admitted, squeezing Dean and nuzzling his face into the man's neck, "Thank you so much, I feel like I don't deserve it but I know what you'd say to that." He lifted his head again and smiled, his eyes puffy from crying.

With their body temperatures finally dropping to normal, the depths of the exhibit basement was far too cold for naked bodies. "We should get dressed," Dean murmured into Twix's hair, more than comfortable with the boy in his arms right where they were. "And this school is never going to take me on as a chaperone again."

"We should get dressed," Twix agreed by repeating, laughing a little as he shivered from the cooled air. "The school doesn't ever have to let you be a chaperone again anyway, this is their last fieldtrip." He knew what Dean meant but correcting the statement came too naturally to the silver haired youth.

Twix was pulling his clothing on and wiping off the mess they'd made, his mind circling thoughts he knew he shouldn't have. _'He's married, why would I do this to myself? Why do I like Dean so much?'_ The repeated thumping in his chest made him flinch, a weird little fluttering reaction every time he thought Dean's name. _'No. I can't feel this way; it'll just hurt me. I can't. I just…'_ He froze for a moment, not facing Dean and staring down at the floor as his heart pounded the words into his mind over and over. _'I love him.'_

The words stung at the back of Dean's mind as he dressed; wiping the same sticky fluids off his chest. Dean looked at Twix, and he knew what the heartbroken kid needed to hear, word for word. Something he probably hadn't heard in years, "Twix, I know this is going to sound confusing, but you should know that I do love you, no matter how complicated that makes things."

Twix stopped completely now, his mind stumbling over the possibilities of meanings and whether or not it was real.

It was real; Dean really did say it.

He turned his head slowly, brow flinching and eyes attempting to scan for deceit. "You… Love me?" He repeated as if to hear it again. "Really?" he said slowly, trying to understand.

"Really," Dean repeated in a firm voice, leaving little room for doubt, "I love you." Even as he spoke the words Dean tried to reason with himself as to _why;_ in the back of his mind nothing was making sense.

Twix's mind was discarded in that moment; the things that did and didn't make sense were disregarded. All that mattered was the feeling; someone loved him. Someone understood and loved him.

Twix darted across the floor and fell against Dean in another embrace, squeezing as hard as he could, "I love you too," he sniffled into Dean's skin; another light sob shook him though nothing like before. Relief washed over Twix as he clung to someone he could call a lover, "You have no idea…" He wasn't sure if that was true, Dean might have an _idea_ of what he was going through.

Dean's arms wrapped around Twix though he couldn't shake a thought; Why say that to the boy? '_Because he needed to hear it, because he was falling apart all alone_...' Because he meant it. This new relationship, with such a powerful need for Dean's help and such a helpless reliance on him. Cas had everything, popularity, money, independence and a strong will; and after years of giving him more space and keeping his distance, Dean felt downright useless. And Twix filled that gap, he gave Dean a reason to be, he made Dean feel needed, and that was all Dean really wanted.

But how would he handle the backlash? What would Castiel do when he found out? What would Tommy think of him, cheating on his mother with his despised classmate? Dean was _married_ to Castiel, and while he wanted nothing more than to stay with Twix, he didn't really want to end his marriage either. And more than anything Dean especially did not want to lose his son. Dean himself had little respect for cheating husbands, but he was quickly learning why they tried to keep the second relationship hidden. Now it was his turn to make it work.

Dean held Twix tight, running a gentle hand through the boy's silver hair, "You'll be ok. You'll never have to sell yourself like that again, I promise. I'll take care of you as best I can, although realistically, I'm not sure how this balancing act will work quite yet, but believe me when I tell you that I'm going to try my hardest."

Twix understood the complexities of what they were about to do, of what they'd just done. Castiel was a powerful being; even Twix had to admit that. If Cas decided that removing Twix would make everything better then the younger male stood no chance. "I believe you, Dean." He whispered with a smile, "And I won't do that anymore, I swear." _'Well, if Castiel does snap back and I live through it, I'll have to find a new way to pay for things. Better get a real job.'_ He was about 18, or close anyway. He was more mature than everyone else his age and he was a genius; he should be able to get a job now.

Dean smiled at the smaller boy, "I appreciate it." While it was for Twix's own good, better health and for god's sake safety, there was still a part of Dean's that was asking this out of selfishness. He had no right to claim Twix in any way, he had Cas and he's apparently abusing that relationship, but it made Dean feel much better knowing that no one else was going to be seeing Twix like that, using him for that –only Dean would be.

After consoling the boy and readying themselves for the public eye, Dean and Twix made their way back up into the public realm of the exhibition, Dean taking the lead and scouting for staff members –the last thing they needed was for the field trip's chaperone to be busted with an underage teenager at the exhibit.


	22. Chapter 22

The groups had continued on without Dean and Twix easily, Sam was very authoritative and could control teenagers half his size without too much of an issue. He knew enough about the displays (since he'd actually gone to the exhibit before Charlie even mentioned it, personal interest) to describe what each thing was and give a little history about it.

Snowe trudged along with the group, his sketchbook in hand as he stared up at different pieces. "Wow…" he smiled happily, copying what he saw quickly onto paper so he could work on a similar project himself. Art was the only thing Snowe could do that his brothers could not, aside from being entirely oblivious and dense. "Charlie," he looked over at the other teen quizzically, "Do you know where Twix and Dean went? They're really missing out." He meant what he said though really he was a bit concerned. Twix had been acting strangely since arriving and now they both vanished without reason.

Charlie had been so involved with his father's knowledge of the exhibit, with the paintings and inventions, that he had hardly noticed his missing uncle and Snowe's overprotective brother. '_It is odd that Twix would leave Snowe alone so long... and uncle Dean does sort of have an obsession with that kid_,' Charlie saw no reason to worry the other boy, and just shook his head, "No idea Snowe. I wouldn't worry about it too much though. Come on," Charlie extended his hand to Snowe, hoping he'd take the offer.

"Guess it doesn't matter, they'll come back." Snowe fumbled with his papers trying to turn the page, not only missing the extended hand but dropping several pencils as he did so. "Oops." Snowe squatted down and picked them up, shuffling after one as it rolled precariously toward a vent. His slender fingers caught it before it disappeared on him; however he heard a strange sound coming up from the vent.

Snowe turned curious eyes toward the dark hole, "That sounds like Twix…" he muttered and the very words made his expression darken. Snowe knew what Twix was doing, it didn't take a genius to notice, though Yoshi grumbling about it once or twice helped a bit. Snowe quickly stood and trotted away from the source of the noise, no one else needed to hear the faint sounds of his brother screaming for Dean. _'Why would Dean do that?'_ Snowe thought disappointedly, _'He was always so nice; he was supposed to save Twix. Why would he do that to him too?'_

Snowe shook his head and started running, away from the group, away from people. He needed to find a quiet space to draw, he needed to find one _now_.

"Snowe?" Charlie asked, his brow furrowed in confusion. Something happened there, something that really upset Snowe. Charlie looked over to the vent that Snowe had frozen by when he'd gone to retrieve his pencil.

Charlie approached the vent to investigate. Maybe it was accidentally linked to the sewage, and the smell made Snowe need to throw up. That'd be a good reason to run. Charlie didn't smell anything by the vent, and he couldn't see anything in there either. It was just a vent –but he did hear something, something very off putting.

Sam looked up after another brief history explanation and noticed immediately that the smaller boy was missing. "Ah god fucking damn it all to hell!" He cursed, "Where's Snowe! That kid needs a freaking leash!"

"He'll live, let's go." Tommy grumbled.

Sam knew better than that, "No, we find him. Come on, everyone in groups of two and we meet back here before going for lunch."

"I'll find him dad!" Charlie took off running, neglecting the order of buddying up. Charlie wasn't sure where he was going, just that Snowe had run in this direction and that was his best bet. No idea why Snowe went this way, no idea where he was running to –and maybe there was no 'where' to this search. Snowe wasn't confrontational; he wouldn't be going to find Twix, so Charlie figured the boy was going to hide, and that just made this all kinds of difficult.

Sam watched his son run and let him go, of all people to run away on their own, Charlie was the one Sam trusted the most. If his son got into trouble in an exhibit that boy was going to get a serious talking to later. He ushered the rest off, running solo in the hunt as well.

Snowe found a small nook to crawl into, away from public eye and anyone trying to find him. If they hadn't followed or didn't know his favourite hiding places (something Twix knew but not Yoshi) he'd be difficult to find.

Once secluded Snowe immediately started drawing as if he'd lose his mind if he didn't do it in that moment. The images in his head needed to come out; drawing it was the best way. Before long a detailed sketch of Twix and Dean started to form, something Snowe was imagining to be the case though that didn't necessarily mean it was true. Twix was pinned down, his face twisted in a combination of pain and ecstasy, Dean smiling disturbingly. Snowe kept drawing until this sketch looked more and more realistic, until it looked like a black and white photograph.

"Hey Sammy," Dean caught up with his frazzled brother, completely broken off from the gaggle of teens that were supposed to be there, "What happened to all the kids?" Dean looked around, finding none, and looked back to Sam just as confused as when he asked.

Sam looked at Dean, his face contorted into an angry snarl, "I sent them off to find someone who ran off on his own without telling me." He sighed heavily and rubbed his temples in a circular motion, "What the hell…"

"Shit, sorry I wasn't here, who ran off?" Dean wanted to take a head count, get the answer himself without having to stress Sam out more, but the kids weren't any more 'there' now than they were a second ago.

"Take a wild guess, Dean. Who can go missing and it's necessary to worry about it?" Sam snapped, not in the mood for Dean's stupid questions.

Yoshi looked down the hall and elbowed Tommy, "Hey, your dad and my brother finally resurfaced. I wonder what took them so long."

Tommy followed his friend's gaze and shook his head, "Whatever, dad had something to say to him and it took a while I guess." He decided to be completely oblivious to the messy state of Twix's hair and fading blush on his cheeks; Dean would _never_ cheat on Castiel. Never.

Yoshi walked towards Twix, hailing him as he approached, "Snowe went missing like half an hour ago. Still can't find him. Where were you?" The question as to 'where Twix was' was one Yoshi didn't need an answer to, it wasn't something he even wanted to know. But by placing it directly after the declaration of Snowe's disappearance, it took on a much different and accusatory meaning.

Twix's first reaction was one of panic but after what happened with Dean, he had a new sense of importance in him. "I left at the beginning of the fieldtrip; _you_ were the one who was with him." He poked his brother in the chest harshly, "So don't you dare blame me for this, you selfish little-" He stopped himself, no need to get too nasty. "Whatever, I'll clean up your mess. You can go and do nothing to help now, like usual." He snapped and looked up at Dean, "I'm going to find him."

Dean nodded to Twix, "Yeah, you go ahead, you'll have the best chance of finding him," _if he's still in the exhibit_. Dean looked back at Sam, "Just breathe buddy, we'll find him."

"'You selfish little' what?" Yoshi prodded after a moment of thought, "It's not like I couldn't counter with a 'you dirty little-' and you not get the reference. I'm not the one who signed up as junior chaperone." Instantly defensive, Yoshi was honestly surprised at Twix's backlash. His brother was notorious for not fighting back, and he chooses his brother of all people to start with.

Twix stopped in his tracks, he was going to spin around and argue back but there was no time for that. Snowe was missing, again. "Yoshi," he spoke instead, "You know what I've done and you know why. If you refuse to see what I've done for you that's your business, I know what I am and who I am. When you figure out who _you _are, be that self-centered, heartless, and ungrateful or someone who I believe you to be, we'll bring this topic up again." Twix wasn't surprised by Yoshi's reaction; it was common for the darker boy.

With that Twix started running down the hall, knowing that if no one found Snowe crying somewhere because he got lost by now, Snowe wasn't lost. Snowe was hiding. Twix started looking for the small, out of sight and out of the way areas first thing.

It only took him about an hour but he finished it. His breathing rate increased dramatically once he held it away from himself to see what he made, tears slipping down his cheeks. "No, Dean! NO!" Snowe shouted and threw his sketchbook out of his little corner, pencils scattering with it. He didn't care; he curled in on himself and rocked back and forth for comfort. Dean was supposed to save them. Snowe cried loudly, not caring who heard. He just needed it out, all the emotions and pain and distressing thoughts needed to be purged.

Charlie was about ready to give up the search and head back to his dad when he heard Snowe's anguished cry and saw a pad of paper come flying out of a bordered off reconstruction section of the exhibit. Charlie cautiously approached, catching sight of the mastercraft sketch on the floor and cringed. "Hey, Snowe? You in there?"

Snowe sobbed and shook his head, "No! Go away."

Charlie cautiously entered the small hiding space, scooting up close to Snowe and placing an arm over his shoulders. "Hey, are you ok? Everyone's worried about you... I'm really worried about you." Charlie shifted uncomfortably before continuing, "I... saw your sketch. Anything you want to talk about?"

Snowe slowly lifted his head and looked at Charlie, wiping his eyes as he did so. Even if he had anything to say, what could they do about it? "Did… Dean really do that? Would he?" He gripped Charlie's arm desperately, hoping it wasn't true.

"I don't really know," Charlie admitted. After hearing what he had, and seeing Snowe's sketch, Charlie really couldn't think of an appropriate alternative. But it wasn't in Dean's personality to do that with someone half his age, to cheat on his partner, or to put Twix of all people in pain. It just wasn't like him; that was probably the disbelief talking.

Snowe nodded and sniffled a little, "Me neither…" he curled against his comforter. "I heard Twix through the vent… I thought Dean would stop him from doing that, not do it with him." Snowe didn't know how to put into words how he was feeling; betrayed would be a good one if he knew it. "And what about Castiel? Someone should tell him…" Snowe felt bad for Cas, going off to work and while he's gone Dean rapes a defenceless guy in a museum.

"I don't know, without solid evidence I wouldn't want to make that sort of accusation, we don't know for sure. I can ask my dad to talk to uncle Dean about it, maybe that would help?" Charlie rubbed Snowe's back while they tried to sort this out, hugging the smaller boy in attempts to comfort him.

Twix spotted the sketchbook on the floor of the exhibit and darted toward it, his mind skipping to a memory of buying the same one for Snowe. Upon closer inspection he saw the artwork scribbled furiously onto it. Similar to the last person who saw it, Twix cringed, closed it and picked it up. "Snowe?" He asked softly, catching the small whispers of the two teens nearby. Twix walked over to the reconstruction area and peered into the small nook, smiling when he spotted his brother. He still knew Snowe's hiding places.

Snowe looked up and his eyes watered, "Twix are you okay?" He scrambled up and hugged the silver haired male tightly. "I thought… I heard…"

Charlie crawled out of their hiding hole and straightened out –he was getting far too tall to be squished into tiny spaces. He watched the two brothers, trying to determine what Twix had really been up to. He didn't look hurt, he actually looked pretty happy. But something seemed so very off, and Charlie just couldn't put his finger on it.

"It's okay, Snowe. I'm fine, nothing happened." Twix knew he was lying, and judging by the expressions on the other two's faces, they knew he was lying too.

Snowe considered asking about it but decided that it wasn't a good time to bring up Twix's profession. Instead he went and took Charlie's hand and smiled, "Twix is okay, let's get back. I'm hungry."

Twix smiled sadly, he didn't regret what he'd done. He'd never regret saving his brothers. He just wished he could have hidden it a little better.

Charlie was more than happy to take Snowe's hand, maybe the smaller boy wasn't as oblivious as he thought he was. After all, he could just as easily (and was even more likely to have) taken Twix's hand over Charlie's. Charlie looked at Twix briefly, knowing that there was something going unspoken here, wanting nothing more than to point out Twix's excursion with Dean –but apparently that conversation was over, and there was no need to bring it up again if neither of the brothers wanted to go there.

When they got back to the area that Sam said to meet up before the bus left for lunch, everyone else had gathered again, Sam walking down another hall leading to the area. "You found him!" He called, cheering up at the sight of the small, cutesy boy. Sam smiled at Charlie proudly.

Charlie smiled back at Sam, "Yeah, I found him a little while ago. We were just talking about some stuff, Twix dragged us out. Sorry to make you worry."

"Good job," Sam smiled and leaned down to Charlie's ear, "I can tell something's up, we'll talk later." He straightened up again and pat his son's shoulder, finally looking over at Dean, "Ready for lunch?"

Dean nodded, "More than hungry –starving. Now let's go."

"And now for the guys you came here to see!" An announcer from a local radio station shouted into the microphone, the crowd already screeching with anticipation. "_Pleasure My Angel_!"

The lights suddenly went out as the crowd shrieked, the tune from their most popular song chiming instantly over the speakers. One single light came on and Castiel was center stage, exactly where the announcer had been. Most would see this as theatrics, though those who paid attention to the laws of physics would see that Castiel wouldn't have had enough time to trade places in the midst of the flickering lights.

A TV crew was there, filming the concert live for all the fans watching the music channel that couldn't go that far to see PMA. All spot lights were on Castiel as he slowly swayed, eyes closed with a subtle vibration in his hips. His outfit was once again close to bondage and gothic; belts, buckles, zippers and chains combined with leather. He wore a broken, form-fitting chastity belt around his waist, black spandex underneath to keep everything in.

Tommy sat eagerly in their living room; he'd taken over the TV because he'd never seen one of his mom's concerts before and now that he missed the hell out of him, it seemed like a good time to start. He leaned forward in anticipation, excited to see Castiel perform again.

The angel's lips parted with a smile and his eyes opened, a vibrant blue. The long intro pounded slowly, a solid beat in Castiel's chest. "I miss you, baby." He whispered into the mic, while they were honestly the first lyrics of the song he meant them. A strong yearning had come back to him in the last week or so of his absence. He'd forgotten the feeling of going to bed alone, this had been a cold reminder of why he searched Dean out in the first place.

"Wow," Tommy muttered, "Mom's really into it…. Mom's _hot_." He hadn't considered it before, Castiel looked young, vibrant, lively, and had a killer body. Of course, Tommy had to step back from his role as the man's son to see this.

Dean couldn't help but ask himself '_why_.' Why was his luck comprised of fermenting manure on a pile of rotting corpses. Tommy _never_ listened to Castiel's music, he never took an interest in the concerts; but now, out of the blue, Tommy was eager to watch, and would probably continue to watch several more throughout the tour. And all right after Dean had started seeing Twix regularly, immediately after cheating on Cas and now Dean was witnessing his partner up on stage, an expression of true loneliness on his face as he sang his heart out. And Dean couldn't pretend for a second that he didn't know for whom Castiel was singing.

The song burst into life and so did Castiel, while the stage had lit up to reveal the rest of the band the viewers' eyes couldn't be taken away from Castiel's movement. His focus had come back entirely, as if he'd never been settled down. He discovered his muse for the first time; trying to attract his mate fueled his performance. Loneliness made him work harder, made him want to enjoy himself to keep away from the increasingly widening hole in his heart.

Tommy looked over in Dean's direction, "I want to go to one of mom's concerts in person! Can we surprise him at his next one?"

"Really?" Dean asked with exasperated disbelief, now he wanted to be there in person.

"Really," Tommy nodded with a smile, "I miss mom and I bet he'd be really excited to see us like that." Tommy remembered what Castiel was like after coming back from performances, happy and amazing to be around.

Sam smirked, "I thought his music sucked?"

"It doesn't matter when mom's singing it," Tommy looked back at Castiel, almost transfixed, "Everything sounds better from him."

Sam looked at Dean, still grinning, "That's adorable. Distance only makes the heart grow fonder I guess."

Dean couldn't help but feel a guilty jab, "Shut up, Sammy." That would sound suspicious on its own, and Dean scrambled for a cover-up statement, "You think I don't have a hard enough time with his reputation without you teasing him for missing his mom?"

Sam raised an eyebrow, Dean's cover up moves were obvious to the younger brother. He'd seen them all his life. The expression on Sam's face would tell Dean immediately that he knew something was off here. "Dean, no one from his class is here so why would he be embarrassed about missing Cas? There's no reputation to protect except the reputation he has with his family, so actually I think he expected to be teased about it."

Tommy rolled his eyes, "Are we really having this argument?"

"We aren't, Dean and I are." Sam corrected.

"Whatever," Tommy went back to the tv, nodding his head to the tune.

When the concert ended, Castiel smiled as the cameras closed in on his face, completely clean of sweat or exhaustion. "Thank you everyone," his voice had an odd edge to it, difficult to place but a very subtle shake in it would give it away to anyone who knew him well enough. He was, for a reason unbeknownst to him, on the verge of tears. "I appreciate how far some of you have come to see us, your devotion to us over the years. I really appreciate you hard-core fans, the ones who have been with us since the start. These concerts must be difficult as you age." He smiled and covered his short lapse with a laugh.

Dean stared at the screen; there was no way this was all in his head anymore. Something was wrong with Cas, his post-concert euphoria should be a non-stop roller coaster by now, but there was nothing there, nothing of the sort. It was horrifying to think of, but Cas was hurting –Dean could see it plain as day, like someone wrote it across Cas' forehead with a black sharpie. "Cas...?" Dean wasn't there for him now, and felt he had no right to be there, but he couldn't leave Cas alone.

Tommy had just been thinking about Castiel's excitable attitude after a performance and now he saw for the first time his mom without it. At first he thought maybe it was something that took a bit to kick in, but Dean's reaction to him otherwise.

"We love you all! Be good while I'm gone, I'll visit again soon!" he waved and started to walk away, the lights flickered once and the entire band had vanished from the stage just as they had arrived.

"Awesome!" Tommy beamed and looked over at Dean, "How come we haven't gotten a phone call from mom? I wanna to talk to him."

"It's because your parents are very stubborn people," Sam laughed, "Both of them are doing the same thing; he'd better call me first. Even if they deny it, it's the truth."

Tommy shrugged and took out his cell phone, "I'll call him then."

Castiel escaped to the bathroom in their personal backstage area, his hand covering his mouth as he attempted to stop the sobs that slammed into throat.

A knock at the door caught his attention, "Castiel, your phone's ringing." Anna called through the wooden frame. "I'm answering it for you."

He leaned on the sink and gasped as he took control back, looking up into the mirror at the frightened eyes that stared back at him. _'What is wrong with me?' _He thought despairingly.

"You're a selfish whore, what's to know?" His reflection responded, a distant and vacant gaze fixed down on him.

Castiel shook his head and looked up again, his reflection matching him like normal. A sob shook him as his knees tried buckling. "Dean…" he whimpered, lowering his head as he sniveled and trembled. "I need you…"

"It's your son." Anna knocked again, "Cas?" She looked at the other guys for a second, "We'll call you back Tommy." She said vaguely and hung up. "Something's up." She hit the door once, "Cas open the door," no answer made her hit it again, "I'll break this down, I swear."

Tommy looked his cell and then up at Dean, "Anna hung up on me… Something's up with mom."

Dean's attention snapped to, looking at Tommy like he'd just been shot. "I've got it." Dean's voice was low, stoic. He picked up his phone and wandered out of the room, dialing Gabriel's number. Anna wanted to take care of Cas, like the good old days, like only the band could. Balthazar would probably listen to Anna –leaving Gabriel as Dean's best bet to get to Europe.

"Hello, you've reached Gabriel, how can I assist you?"

"Gabriel, it's me. I need a ride there pronto, something's up with Cas."

"I know who you are, knuckle head. I have call display." Gabriel rolled his eyes and mouthed to Anna and Balthazar 'It's Dean.' "I don't know if now's the best time."

"Now's the perfect time, he needs me there." Dean insisted, worry growing in his chest that he might not be able to convince the angels to come and get him.

Balthazar knocked on the bathroom door, "Cas, I'm not sure what's going on, but you've somehow alerted your husband who never watches your concerts, from overseas, as to your emotional unrest. He wants to see you, what do you want?"

Dean frowned at the cell phone, wishing there was more he could do to get his way, "Listen, I know where your tour dates are and so help me if you don't come and get me I am jumping on the first plane out of here to Europe and I will find you..."

"And what? Throw a fit?"

"Well I'll be there either way," Dean huffed back, "So it may as well be now."

"Or we could stall as long as possible and keep security on the lookout for you."

'_It's like they know I cheated or something... No, no that's the guilt talking. If I keep that up everyone'll know in no time flat_.'

Cas was on the floor in front of the sink now, curling in himself as a pain in his chest ached harder. He could hear the conversations outside, he knew Balthazar had asked him a question but he couldn't bring himself to speak. His mouth was open in hopes a sound would come out, hoping for words. He got half of it right, sharp breathy cries shot out one after the other.

At first he thought it was just a pain from missing Dean, missing his family. But this pain was more than that, it was more than physical and it burned and stabbed all at once. The location of the pain was coming from a similar place that forced him to stop moving when Michael commanded it, way back when the man had control over him. "Dean!" He wailed as the pain started subsiding to a pounding throb. While it hurt less it didn't calm him down any, his arms wrapped around himself as he tried to disappear on the bathroom floor, still screaming and sobbing.

"That's a yes," Anna looked at Balthazar, "Get Dean here Gabriel. Balthazar, get to Cas' side and see if there's anything we need to fix." She knew she was human, she knew what she could do was limited but that didn't mean she couldn't command these two.

"I'm on it!" Gabriel pocketed his phone with ease in one fluid motion before vanishing into thin air. It took second before he arrived back at Winchester Manor where the majority of the head family was gathered around the tele with a relatively palpable level of alarm. "Alright Dean-o, time to go. Cas is bawling like a baby and only his knight-in-shining-armor can put humpty back together again."

Dean didn't even have the mind to dissect Gabriel's nonsensical statement before he had his jacket in hand and was next to the angel, ready to go. "Alright, as fast as you can get me there."

"Wait I'm coming too!" Tommy shouted and booked it over there, taking a firm hold on Dean. "If mom's hurt I want to see him. Take me with." It wasn't a question and he didn't plan on taking no as an answer.

Dean nodded curtly, he wasn't sure if Cas wanted his son to see him like this, especially when Dean hadn't a clue what was going on with him. But Tommy had the right to be there, the kid was already an adult (or so said the government, Dean would beg to differ) and he was worried about his mother.

Gabriel didn't care how many came with so long as Dean fixed their lead singer. Cas was a dear friend, and Gabriel hated seeing him hurt. Whatever it was, it was bad. Gabriel had never seen anything like it, while is looked like Cas missed Dean sorely, it would've been more accurate to say Cas' soul was being ripped apart from the inside... well not soul, given that he's an angel... human... mix; so maybe grace-soul. Regardless, Dean and Tommy were present in the backstage area a full 37 seconds after Anna gave the order.

Balthazar had barely gotten the door off its hinges by the time Dean blew past him, "Cas!" Dean fell to his knees at Cas' side, pulling the fragile-looking bundle into his arms. "Cas, baby it's me. Everything's ok, I've got you." Dean held Cas close and tight, gently rocking him back and forth while trying to soothe the painful tremors from Cas' form. "What happened out there? Is something wrong?"

Cas' heart finally gave a solid beat the moment his cheek felt the warmth of his husband. His hands came up and gripped Dean tightly, as if he'd die after letting go. Cas took a moment to collect himself, to understand what was happening to him. "I don't know," he whispered hoarsely, the pain subsiding to a subtle throbbing and then slowly vanishing. "I started missing you and the more I thought about it the more it hurt," he sniffled and rubbed his face against Dean's chest as if to assure himself that Dean was really there.

Dean didn't know what to say, it was as though he were busted before he even really began. Cas was experiencing the equivalent of an acute chronic depression crammed into thirty minutes or less. Everyone was worried about Castiel, and indifferent to Dean's existence –because what else would they be but indifferent? Cas was in pain and there was nothing going on with Dean so far as any of them knew.

But it still felt like they were staring.

It was the classic burden of guilt, and Dean knew it. He could get caught up in a bunch of minute coincidences and like a true paranoid put together a hare-brained conspiracy theory of how everyone knew, and just weren't telling Cas. How Tommy knew all along that his dad was a whore and that's why he hated twix, before Dean had even touched the boy. Anna, Balthazar, and Gabriel all knew –_especially _ the angels; but they all loved Cas too much to tell him. Dean knew it was all in his head, that no one had a clue, and they were simply concerned –but the haunting feeling of being found out would either win out or Dean would have to smother it good with some damned good bravado and acting. It worked for their distancing back when Tommy was in kindergarten –there was no reason why it wouldn't work now.

Dean continued shushing Cas' sobs and rubbing soothing circles on his slender back, "_What_ hurt more?" If it was related to thinking about Dean, the answer could've been his heart. But Dean still remembered the other Castiel, the one with the wounded grace... or did they both end up with wounded grace? Whatever, it could've been that too. Dean wasn't a doctor anyway, diagnosing the pain wouldn't help.

Tommy stood in the doorway; he'd never seen Castiel like this before. His mom was usually pretty put together, and when he had an issue he'd solve it with Dean privately or they'd call a family meeting. Nothing this severe had ever happened before. "Is mom sick?" Tommy asked, coming closer and kneeling next to his parents.

"Tommy?" Cas lifted his head, "Sweetheart, you came too?"

"Of course I did," Tommy said softly, placing his hand on the side of Castiel's head, "Why wouldn't I?"

Cas smiled and closed his eyes, listening to Dean's heartbeat and calming further to a point of almost sleeping. Tommy breathed a sigh of relief and glanced up at his dad, "I think we should take mom home, he can fly back out here for their next performance."

"Agreed," Anna crossed her arms in the doorway, not caring if Gabriel or Balthazar would complain. "He's grown accustomed to see you two every day, and I hate to say it but I'm getting a little old for travelling in a tour bus." She brushed her greying hair out of her eyes, pointedly not looking at it. "Not that we won't continue to do so, just a little break at home might do us some good."

When Cas didn't answer Tommy further he really started to worry. Calming down was great; falling asleep in his arms was no problem. But in the face of his worried teenage son? That was not on purpose, not even intentional. Dean hugged Cas close, rocking him gently. He couldn't believe a moment ago he was more concerned with getting caught than with Cas' well being. No one even had a clue what had happened out there, what was wrong, and _that_ was what Dean was worried about? He could've kicked himself.

"Yeah, we'll get him home. I want Cas in bed tonight, I wouldn't be able to leave him alone –not after this." Dean picked Castiel up off the floor, holding his lithe form in his arms effortlessly. Cas seemed smaller than usual, thin and maybe a bit unhealthy. Dean wondered how long he wasn't feeling well, how long this thing had been eating away at him without his noticing. –and how much of it was Dean's fault.

Tommy nodded, "Okay, then let's go."

Arriving home was not the normal event, not this time. The usual flourish and post-performance party attitude was completely absent and replaced with a somber mood much akin to the delivery of the news that your best friend has terminal cancer. There was none of the fake normalcy of using the front door –angel teleportation planted them square in the living room center. There was no cheery welcome, only concerned onlookers.

Dean refused to put Cas down, refused to let anyone approach him or worry over him. Cas needed his sleep, and he needed his time alone with Dean. "Goodnight Tommy," Dean muttered to his son, "I'll take care of your mom. You just try and get some rest, don't worry about it too much."

Cas' legs were frightenly close to gelatin and difficulty walking was just an obvious addition to this, therefore he didn't even try to walk on his own. He wrapped his arms around Dean's neck and remained in his lover's arms, not intending to move at all. He continued to listen to the sounds of Dean Winchester as he was carried to their room, "Dean," he whispered softly, calmly, "I… I saw something in the bathroom mirror. It wasn't me… Or it was but it moved separately from me." He looked up with watery blue eyes, fear evident in them.

Dean looked down into Cas' deep blue depths and felt the burden's of his mate. Where usually his eyes were bright with the spark of life they held now a deep-seated sorrow, reflecting the wounds deep inside. Something was truly haunting him, and Dean didn't know what to do about it. Seeing his own reflection? That was usually the illusion of the guilty man, but this wasn't Cas' fault... Dean remained silent and let Cas continue with his explanation.

"It kept badgering me, and insulting me and…" Cas shook his head and pressed his ear to Dean's chest again, "I know it's silly and I know you… but would you ever betray me?" He didn't want to but he knew he had to look up again, to see Dean's eyes when he answered the question. Castiel had trusted and believed in Dean for over twenty years, now, out of the blue, something in him was screaming betrayal. Something deep inside him was being torn apart, even now it was stretching, pulling as if his internal self knew something he didn't.

"Do I have a reason to betray you?" Dean meant the question, and somewhere deep down, he wanted Cas to figure out that his own independence and neglect for his husband gave Dean more than a reason to do exactly that. But that wouldn't help any, and Dean didn't let the question linger. "Of course I would never betray you, I love you. I'd die for you, you know that. Don't even think such crazy things."

Castiel sobbed lightly, something in him could feel an unhappy, angry vibe for a moment, mixed with a severe onslaught of depression. _'Why am I feeling this? These aren't my emotions so why?'_ It was almost as if the answer to Dean's question dangled in front of him. "If you had a reason," Castiel tried to phrase it as delicately as he could, "What would it be?" He wasn't feeling any better that Dean wouldn't answer 'no' immediately, though he didn't deserve such devotion in the first place. "I'm sorry I'm such a screw up…" he shook his head and closed his eyes again.

Dean laid Cas down in their bed, pulling the covers up and over him to cover and keep warm. Dean slipped in beside Cas and pulled him close. "Everything's just fine, and if you weren't half something other than human I would be demanding you see a doctor right now. Has Balthazar taken a look at you? Or Gabriel? They're angels, they could help figure this thing out, right?" Dean sounded eager –and he was; he'd give anything for Cas not to be hurting, not to be going through... whatever this was. It was terrifying to see him in such a state.

"No, Cas, you're not a screw up. Why would you even think that? You know I love you, and whatever this thing is, we'll work through it together –I promise."

Castiel smiled and relaxed, "Okay, I trust you." He spoke tiredly and kissed Dean lazily, "We'll do it together."

Cas curled against Dean, once again remembering why he sought a partner. He pressed his face into his husband's chest, "I don't know," he mumbled almost incoherently, falling into a comfortable slumber in Dean's arms. "Maybe it's nothing…." He trailed off as his tired body slipped out of consciousness and into sleep, snoring lightly into Dean's flesh.

It was obvious to both of them that this wasn't just 'nothing.' Cas didn't believe for a second that these feelings of his didn't mean something, and Dean knew it. It worried Dean how Cas tried to cling so close, after years of wanting breathing room and pushing away it seemed like all Cas wanted now was to burrow inside and never leave. Dean stroked Cas' hair and down his back comfortingly as Cas drifted off to sleep, all the while wondering how much longer this could last.

It was late and Twix found himself still at home, an oddity for the last several years. He'd promised Dean he wouldn't do that ever again, and he kept his promises as long as it was within his power. He was happy; he had been claimed by Dean, loved by him. It was the most incredible feeling he'd ever experienced, he wanted more of it.

He couldn't remember the last time he'd put Snowe to bed but now he was doing it again, it felt good. He tucked the smaller male in, kissed his forehead and started on his way out the door. He paused when he saw the sketchbook again, what else had Snowe drawn in there? Twix quietly scooped it up and headed to the living room.

He dropped onto the couch and flipped it open. The first image he couldn't deny that it scared him; Snowe's drawings were realistic to the point of looking like photography, it was even more impressive when he used colour.

The first picture was of their house from outside in the yard, however there was a dark figure standing next to it, staring out at the viewer… or was it looking at Snowe when he drew it? Twix didn't remember this picture. He shook his head and flipped the page, flinching again at the sight. He kept flipping through it; in every image he saw that figure somewhere. Several drawings were just of that one creature. It was hideous, sickening to the point that Twix had to put the sketchbook down.

He sat staring forward, chest heaving up and down as he considered what Snowe had been drawing, why he had drawn it. From what he remembered seeing of Snowe's work, the boy sat down and drew what he remembered or what he saw. Something that came to mind usually ended up on the white canvas. But only things that Snowe had seen before, or possibly a strong image that popped into his imagination. He never made up monsters like this, so why?

"Yoshi…" It was the only reason Twix could think of that Snowe would imagine such a grotesque thing. He shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. "That's gotta be the explanation." He reasoned.


	23. Chapter 23

**Author's Note****: OH MY WORD! It has been so long but here's the next one! Sorry it took so long everybody, co-author matsu was studying and preparing for an LSAT. Now that it's finished here you go! I hope everyone remembers what happened last time o_o Feedback and reviews please! XD**_  
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_A week or so later…_

PMA continued their planned tour after taking a few days off, the band finally venturing back out onto the bus like they had expected. Castiel hugged and kissed Dean and Tommy numerous times before leaving; he knew, somewhere deep down he knew that his little episode several days ago wouldn't be the last one. While that thought scared him endlessly, he decided to put it behind him. He was stronger than that; he was stronger than all of it. What happened to the winged being that flew down and saved Dean's life from hit men hired by Michael? Apparently buried by motherhood, not that that was a problem but right now he needed the strength of that angel.

"You gonna be okay?" Anna placed a hand on his shoulder as they dragged their luggage to the same place.

Castiel nodded with a smile, "Of course, aren't I always?"

She smiled sadly and nodded, "Right, I'm just worried about the moment that won't be true anymore."

"You worry too much." Cas grabbed his stuff and looked at the guys, "Let's get this show back on the road." Several quick flaps of almost invisible wings later and he was gone.

"I'm old, of course I worry." Anna grumbled bitterly, taking hold of Balthazar.

Balthazar put an arm around Anna, partially to transport her and partially to comfort her. "You know Cas wouldn't let me touch him. It's like he doesn't even want to know what happened, like hearing it out loud will confirm or deny some fact of life that needs to be left alone. I'm worried as well." And with a flicker they too disappeared.

Dean frowned; it seemed Balthazar was certain his lowered voice would keep those words between him and Anna. Dean thought Cas would've tried, would've taken care of himself and trusted a redeemed friend to at least attempt to fix the problem, or attempt to _figure out what the problem was_. Getting suspicious would be the end of him, Dean reminded himself, and left well enough alone.

Sam smiled after the band left and sat down at the table; it was moments like that, when the band took off to do their own thing, that he was glad he was married to Bella. Glancing up at the time he whistled low, it was late and there was school tomorrow. "Charlie, Tommy, hope you're going to bed." He called, into the house, sipping from his cooled coffee. He knew Dean wouldn't enforce that kind of thing so he figured he'd at least give it a shot, to say he tried.

Tommy glanced over at Charlie with a smirk, heading upstairs; "Of course Uncle Sam!" he called back coolly, and then leaned in to whisper to his cousin, "In about half an hour, meet me in the back yard."

Earlier that week Tommy had spoken with a bunch of the kids from school, a massive party was being planned down at someone's house; parent's out of town and all that fun stuff. Tommy and Yoshi agreed to play a couple sets for the shindig and the Winchester boy was overly excited to do this. Especially after watching Castiel on stage the weekend before (pointedly ignoring the emotional collapse afterward). _'If mom can do it even in a state of depression, I can do it.'_ Tommy had taken many mental notes on the way his mom caught the crowd's attention, the way he took hold of the stage and controlled the room.

Charlie frowned; he knew what this would be. Just a bunch of jocks and junkies getting together to drink, do drugs, and innumerable other stupid things. Up until that moment Charlie was _still_ deciding on whether or not he'd squeal on the whole damn thing and let his lawyer of a father crash the party to bits. It was stupid that kids his age were even doing these destructive things to themselves, much less think themselves cool for doing it. But Tommy was excited, he was going to perform. It was like Castiel were dying, and Tommy`s following in his performing footsteps would ease an unspoken tension. Charlie couldn`t bear to take that from his cousin –who for the record would never admit to the 'follow in his footsteps' line.

Tommy climbed down the side of the building and dropped the rest of the way into the bushes, landing entirely without grace and on his ass. _'Aaaannnnd just like dad.'_ He thought morbidly, crawling out of the bush and out of sight. He stood up and ran to his cousin's side, who was always on time, most often early. "Let's do this. And hey, if you don't like to party then you can always go visit Snowe." He elbowed and winked at Charlie as he strode across the property.

"You know I won't like it, I'm coming to watch you perform, and maybe stop you from doing anything excessively stupid." Charlie pouted his reply, making it known that this was an activity he disapproved of.

Tommy waved his hand at Charlie, "Yeah yeah, whatever you say." He smiled and crossed his arms behind his head, "Excessively stupid isn't my style, come on. As if any of these human drugs could do anything to me anyway."

""Excessively stupid' is an inheritance trait that you've been plagued with, not a style. And it's not going to be the drugs that do you in; it's going to be peer pressure. Just watch yourself, ok?"

"Sure thing, Uncle Sam." Tommy grinned.

"Nice landing by the way, I'd give it a solid 2.5 out of 10."

Tommy spun to face Charlie "Hey shut up! You saw _nothing_." He snorted and turned back, "Even if you did, you tell no one. Got it?"

Charlie couldn't help the smug little smirk that pulled at the corner of his mouth, "Whatever you say."

_An hour earlier…_

Twix pulled his coat on and buttoned it up to his neck, feeling the chill of winter coming on. _'Have to buy warmer clothes.'_ He thought as he adjusted the colour of his jacket. "Yoshi I'm going out," he glanced back into the house, specifically toward the descending basement stairs and Yoshi's room. Twix knew what time it was, about nine in the evening, almost ten. But he hadn't seen Dean in about a week, hadn't spoken to him. Concern had already run its course and Twix was long past swallowing his pride on this. He wanted to see the man who claimed love for him, and that's about all he was certain of.

He had no idea of the plans made by Yoshi and his friends, Yoshi never told him anything. He didn't know that later, possibly an hour and a half later, Yoshi would leave the house as well, leaving Snowe there alone.

Twix didn't know, so Twix couldn't really control it, even if he wanted to. What he could control, however, was his need to see Dean Winchester.

Twix closed the door behind him and briskly walked down the sidewalk, shivering from the wind that nipped at his slender frame. His mind ran through the possibilities as to why he hadn't seen or heard from Dean in the last couple days, a large part of him was worried that the man had reconsidered his love and wanted to take it back.

The young man quickened his pace to a run, if that were true he knew he would never be able to bear it. In about thirty minutes time he saw the Winchester household, his heart racing as he approached it, crossing the frosting grass. The closer he got the more he could hear, Castiel and his band were near the front door, Twix couldn't hear them well enough to know what they were saying but he did notice when they suddenly vanished.

'_Castiel was home… Maybe that's why?' _He thought reassuringly as he closed in on the door. Just as he was about to ring the doorbell he hesitated; would it be suspicious to visit this late? Definitely. He couldn't go in the front door.

Twix suddenly felt the need to get out of sight and bolted around the house, he had no idea which room was Dean's but he figured that the master bedroom would be on a higher floor and have the largest window. He looked up and smiled to himself when he saw a balcony above him. Only Castiel would do something like that, he figured.

He took a breath and started climbing, glad that whoever designed the house wasn't a big fan of straight, flat walls. It didn't take him long to reach the balcony, he hoisted himself silently onto it and peered cautiously in the window. _'Yep, Dean's room.'_ There was no mistaking it, first off it had Castiel's usual flare, secondly that flare was merged with Dean's 'I don't really care' style.

Twix paused before attempting to open the sliding door, what would Dean think to find him sneaking into his room? His heart pounded in his ears at the thought of Dean and he ignored the self-conscious mindset. He had to see him. Twix found the door was unlocked and slid it open quietly, stepping inside and closing it behind him. Castiel had just left, that he was certain of. There was no way the angel would accidentally walk in instead of Dean, that didn't mean others in the house wouldn't. Twix shook his head; people didn't often march into the master bedroom so he didn't have to worry about that.

With a slow breath, Twix undid his coat and dropped off his shoulders and to the floor, kicking off his shoes and slipping out of his socks was the next motion. He ran a hand up through his silver locks of hair and looked up at the ceiling, part of him questioning why he was there, another asking why he hadn't come sooner.

Seconds later his shirt layers were over his head and left messily on top of his jacket. Twix decided to leave his pants on, in case his fears were right and Dean had changed his mind. The young man undid his pants and left them unzipped as he crawled into Dean's bed, the bed he shared with his partner and lover, a bed he wanted to share with Dean on his own. Twix spread out on his back, every limb artfully placed for Dean's entrance, to make him appear as attractive and desirable as possible while not really doing anything.

Leaving well enough alone led Dean straight away from the others –especially Sam, who he feared could see right through him. Dean played it off as missing Cas, as concern and desire to be alone. All true, except wanting to be alone. Dean _never_ wanted to be alone, not really. His charades pushed others away, made him out to be a tough guy, a loner and independent –all a cover for exactly how much that _didn't_ describe him. Dean let himself into his bedroom after a lonely walk up the stairs, wishing he'd have someone to carry up the stairs, someone to dote on and protect, someone needy. And prayers really do get answered.

Dean swung the door open to find the equivalent of a welcome basket on his bed, only a lot closer to naked; completely splayed out and vulnerable, just as needy as Dean was. Dean remembered the morning at the museum and the rush of emotion, the incredible way that Twix _wanted_ him, _needed_ him; how the poor boy was so much like him and simply falling to pieces.

When the door finally swung open and Dean was frozen in the entrance, Twix could feel little goose-bumps form on his skin. Part of him said rejection couldn't be far off; another hushed it in quiet patience. Waiting for the man to speak.

"Twix..." the boy's name slipped out of Dean's mouth, barely a whisper. Dean was thrilled, ecstatic, nervous, and all kinds of relieved. Dean had a feeling the next thing Twix would do is recoil, unless doing something practiced Twix probably had little confidence, and with relationships that confidence grew from a feeling of self worth –of which he also had little. Dean quickly closed the door, locking it behind him, and sped across the bedroom floor. By the time he reached the bedside his shirts were lying in a pile on the floor. Dean slid onto the bed to lie next to Twix and pulled the boy close.

The silver haired youth relaxed as soon as Dean spoke, finding it easier to breathe. He snuggled up against the larger man happily, sighing in relief. He inhaled deeply, taking in the scent of his newfound love and thoroughly enjoying it.

"I missed you," Dean whispered to Twix, his hand entwining in Twix's silver hair. And he hadn't known how true that was until struck by those feelings anew, until the guilt was drowned in the life-affirming knowledge that someone _needed_ him, by their side at all times truly and completely.

"I missed you too," Twix whispered in response, his body shaking from the truth of it. "I was really… Concerned. I hadn't seen or heard from you in the last week, I was scared. I thought maybe…" He looked up, bright red eyes quivering from his fears, "I thought you changed your mind, that you didn't want to love me anymore."

He knew it sounded silly but it was true, that's how he felt.

Dean shook his head quickly, "You know me better than that, I can't just 'turn off' loving someone. You're an amazing person, and I've already told you how I feel and every word of it is true. And besides, my only way of finding you without a phone would've been to stalk my son when he went to hang out with your brother. Speaking of which...

"I wanted you to have this," Dean got up from the bed and went to rummage through the dresser for something. He found the item and tossed it to Twix, "It's a cell phone. I know you don't have one, who do you talk to? But I wanted to be able to... get a hold of you, to hear your voice. And more importantly I want you to be able to call me when you need me." Dean strolled back to the bed and rejoined the younger man.

Twix stared at the alien device in his hands, never imagining he'd ever own one. "You want me to have this? Really?" He smiled and gripped it tightly, "Thank you so much, Dean."

"You're welcome, and I programmed my number into your phone," Dean smiled, proud of how fulfilling it was to care for Twix, to see the sheer gratitude on his face for small but unexpected gestures.

Twix slipped the object into the pants he was still wearing, the ones he'd kept in on just in case things became awkward between them. He knew now that it was a ridiculous notion and with that thought he started sliding them down his hips and over his thighs.

Dean watched Twix's expert movements and the slow slide of denim as his jeans began their graceful exit. Dean wasn't sure if he would be up to it after Cas this last week... thinking of Cas right now wasn't helping anyone, and shoving down the thought was the easiest way to ensure that this night went smoothly.

"Dean, tell me something," Twix whispered as he slipped his pants off his foot delicately, so as not to damage his new gift. "What do people do in relationships? Or… secret relationships?" He hopped up onto his knees and crawled to the end of the bed, his hands placed on the edge while he perched there. "I've never done this before, is it just sex? Cuddling? Are we allowed on dates?" He couldn't help the curiosity; it was deeply seated in him ever since he was a kid.

Dean couldn't help the smile on his face as he remembered a kindergarten aged Twix at the museum, asking him if God was real, how could an all-holy being possibly exist. Always with the difficult questions this one. "Secret relationships require that nobody know we're together like this, and it is most definitely not just sex, not for me anyway."

Twix tilted his head slightly; once again he didn't get a full answer to his question. "You're good at avoiding answers," he said playfully. "I'm guessing that means no dates though, like dinner and a movie." He shrugged, finding that the normal things in life didn't quite suit him to begin with. As much as it would be a cute concept to imagine himself and Dean having dinner in a nice place or watching some stupid comedy in a theatre, Twix knew that life wasn't for him. He thought about the alternatives, just sneaking around to motels, in the backseat of Dean's car, or possibly at either of their houses. Just getting together to have sex, to lay with one another for a few hours, he didn't exactly have a problem with it.

Twix reached up and pulled Dean in toward the bed and onto it, slipping a leg over him into a straddling position. "I'm okay with sex right now." He smiled lustfully; he'd never felt like wanting it before that last time. Now that he got it less and less he wanted it more and more. Twix was pretty sure he was cursed somehow; it almost seemed undeniable after all the shit he'd gone through.

Dean made no resistance to Twix's guiding tug. The boy wasn't terribly strong, and his efforts were more a request for Dean's cooperation than actually trying to pull him somewhere. The confident, lusting expression in Twix's eye stirred Dean into arousal, even though he hadn't thought it possible. Those slender calves, place perfectly next to Dean, leading up to the toned and taut thighs that supported the boy hovering above him. Dean swallowed hard with anticipation, guiding his hands up the paths his eyes were trailing just a moment before, resting his hands on Twix's buttocks and giving them a light squeeze.

Twix moved slowly against Dean, rubbing himself on the older man without any shame of it. He leaned down and pressed his lips to Dean's fervently, a light blush tinting his cheeks. He moaned into the kiss as he felt a strong tingling sensation in his groin, moving solidly against his partner.

"Dean," he whispered breathlessly upon breaking the kissing, his eyes fluttering open to gaze at the man he'd grown to care dearly for. "I love you, so much it hurts." He smiled as his voice shuddered and threatened to crack, "I need you more than you could know and if you…" Twix's words trailed upward in pitch as he fought back a sob, tears welling up in his eyes, "If you ever change your mind, if you stop loving me…" he'd stopped moving now, lying down on Dean as his thoughts caught up with him. "Please… never tell me." He said hoarsely, "Kill me instead; I'd rather die than know that."

Dean looked up at Twix, finding the anguished expression on the boys face and stopped moving. Now wasn't the time for sex, and Twix needed to know that it was much more than that. "Hey now, you don't need to get upset," Dean pulled Twix off of him and laid him beside Dean on the bed. Dean knew full well this wasn't just 'upset,' this was need and fear. "I'm here for you, right here. I love you, and I know you love me, and someday I'll figure out just how much you need me."

Twix heard the words and believed; whole-heartedly he believed them. Yet there was still this nagging feeling in him that said he wasn't allowed this kind of happiness, this kind of freedom. "I know you do, and you will." he whispered painfully, "I know but I… I can't help but expect the worst, like it'll all come crumbling down just as soon as I'm happy." He could hear how dramatic it sounded but that didn't make it any less true.

"I can't blame you for thinking like that, with the shit you've been through. And there are probably a couple of things making you happy right now, one of which is hearing me say I love you. And just because you turn a light shade of pink whenever I say it, I'm going to say it again: 'I love you.'" Dean kissed Twix softly on the cheek , happy to be the one to comfort Twix. "And even if this all starts crumbling down around you, it won't be because I stopped loving you. It's possible some other life-altering event will change the way we live, but I'm not going to just up and leave you."

Twix smiled and sighed softly, "Life altering events can wait for now," he whispered, letting the last tears slip down his cheeks. "I want to keep you like this for as long as I can. Before everything else around us rejects the idea." His mind drifted to the memory of competing against Castiel on that vacation. How on earth could he _honestly_ compete with someone like that? That man knew Dean better than Twix, for now anyway, he knew how to move, how to make Dean want him. Twix had ideas and a hope that it would work out.

Dean shucked his jeans off and onto the floor, pulling himself and the smaller male under the covers and cuddling up close. "I know you're scared to lose me, because I'm married to Cas and you don't think that there's any way you could compete with that. But you're wrong; Cas is really strong willed and powerful, he can do whatever he wants, whenever he wants. And for the last I don't know how many years he's worked on distancing himself from me. I was smothering him, apparently," Dean spat out the word, still distraught about being discarded. He doubted Twix wanted to hear his 'tale of woe,' but getting it off his chest may help the both of them, for Twix to know that he does have a place here with Dean. "I couldn't imagine living without him, I couldn't bear the thought of not seeing him every day, not having him to myself... He didn't want that, he wanted to be happily married, but keep to himself." Dean looked down at twix, into those crimson red eyes and realized just how opposite he was from Cas. Silver hair instead of black, blood red eyes in place of icy blue. "You're not going to do that, I know you won't."

Dean leaned forward and kissed Twix again, a gentle but passionate kiss that he hoped wouldn't suggest that he was after anything other than Twix's heart. "I love you, and don't you think for a second otherwise."

Twix listened quietly to Dean's story, not planning on interrupting in anyway. He welcomed the kiss and words of love openly; Dean needed more than he'd first thought. "You deserve better than that treatment," Twix said softly, gazing up at Dean. "You were suffering and he couldn't see past himself to notice. Just because he's famous doesn't mean you're less than him; someone should tell him that." He kissed Dean on the lips gently, not pressing forward in any way.

"It could be a number of things, not only is he famous he's also not human. He's super-human, part angel and those things are supposedly holy creatures, although my experiences tell me otherwise." Dean was happily snuggled in with Twix under the covers, feeling a lot lighter after sharing his grievances with the younger man. It felt good to know that Twix didn't blame Dean for being too clingy or too demanding of Cass –he just took Dean's story at face value and empathized with him. "Thank you," Dean whispered into the nook of Twix's neck, his voice starting to go hoarse with the threatening tears. He was overjoyed at the connection he'd made with Twix, for the understanding and need for one another that they were developing.

"You're welcome," Twix smiled, more than happy to hear those words from someone. Appreciation was hardly ever given to him, Snowe often forgot and Yoshi made a point of not thanking him. "And about that angel thing…. I'm still not sure I believe." He chuckled at himself, "It still doesn't make sense to me, but you all seem to believe it so I guess I'll leave it alone." He snuggled into the blankets and rested his head on Dean's. "I'll stop second-guessing you now," he smiled, and sighed lightly. "Should I leave before morning?" It was an honest question and asked in a matter-of-fact way though it didn't mean Twix wasn't sensitive to the answer. While he trusted Dean and loved him unwittingly, he couldn't help that tiny voice that kept saying 'it's just for the sex', despite what he'd just said moments earlier.

"No, I'd much rather you stay with me," Dean kissed the top of Twix's head, feeling the softness of the boy's silver hair brush against his face, "I'd be lonely without you."

Twix nodded and curled in for sleep, "I'd be lonely too," he spoke softly, feeling happy for the first time in a long time.

"Hey!" Yoshi called to Tommy as he saw the two Winchesters approach. He tried not to make a face at Charlie being there –he _hated_ how Tommy valued all this family business, 'just like his dad.' But with the whole Cas thing Yoshi didn't want to bring it up. "I thought you'd never make it, come on and help me get this shit set up." Yoshi turned and started back into the house and quickly stopped, "And don't you dare tell me that since your instrument is your voice that you don't have anything to set up!"

Tommy grinned, "Yeah yeah I'm coming, don't be such a tight ass." He ran after his friend eagerly. Setting up was anxious part of the performance, taking it down was the part he hated most. The actual display, being on stage and showing everyone what he was made of, _that_ was why he did this. He could vent his frustrations and prove to everyone he was worth something more than a stupid reputation.

Yoshi waited until Tommy was close, but unaware. Focused on the set, or his mom, or something, before Yoshi stepped up in front of him, nose to nose, "This is going to be big for us, let's do it right, huh?" Yoshi leaned forward and kissed his friend on the lips, solid and meaningful. They'd never really discussed it, and it had never really come up. It was assumed that Tommy was gay because his parents were –which wasn't necessarily true or fair. And if Yoshi would've had to place a bet on himself he'd have said asexual.

Tommy's first reaction consisted of his eyes popping wide open, numerous thoughts and memories flying through his mind. He was being kissed by his best friend, was that normal? Tommy wasn't sure what he was thinking, only what he was feeling and that pointed toward an option that caused him to kiss back. His eyes closed and arms came up around his skinny yet much more intimidating counterpart.

Charlie's jaw nearly hit the floor. His cousin just got a kiss from that goth guy, that guy that Charlie was convinced was bad news from the way Yoshi disrespected his brother Twix, and didn't give a damn what happened to his other brother. That kind of selfish behaviour simply wasn't what Tommy needed, but Charlie had no doubt that Tommy would fall in head first.

Tommy moaned deeply, exploring the feel and taste of his first kiss from someone other than family or a housemate. He was definitely his parents' son when it came to hormones, he felt himself stiffen from the sensations and anticipation of it all. "Yoshi," he gasped into the kiss, eyes opening half way. He didn't know what else to say or do other than kiss the other boy again. Tommy hadn't put a lot of effort into sexual adventures; since he wasn't fully human and was actually part angel he developed a little slower in some aspects. Sexuality and puberty were quite new to him though he hadn't had much nerve to ask his parents about it (mostly because Charlie seemed to know everything and therefore Tommy couldn't be stupider otherwise Uncle Sam would win, or something like that.)

"Guys you're on soon," a girl leaned backstage, pausing to take in the sight. A quick snap from her cell phone first, then pestering them again, "Yoshi, Tommy! Finish setting up and get out here already!"

Tommy blushed and pulled away, barely managing to breathe normally. "Right, right." He glanced at Yoshi and for the first time he saw the other male in a different light.

"Damn that impatient bitch!" Yoshi cursed, hating the interruption for what it was. Tommy was going to be his –end of story. The teen was practically a super hero waiting to turn villain, all that unacknowledged power and potential. There were a lot of people in the world who deserved a good kick in the ass, and Tommy would help Yoshi achieve that... and more importantly, teenage sexual frustrations were a demanding thing. Yoshi turned a brief smile on Tommy, "After the show then." Yoshi paused for a moment, since when was Tommy so... vulnerable? He played it tough, all the time, but right now with that blush on his face, that lust in his eyes, the more than evident arousal in his jeans and –_god_, those plump, kissable, cocksucking lips he'd inherited from his dad made Tommy look more attractively fuckable than Yoshi had ever considered before. "Right, let's get going."

Once the boys were ready and on stage, the party could continue as planned. People danced and raved like they did, the anti-social ones who, for some reason, showed up, stood around the punch bowl and at the edges of the dancing. The talent shown by the two boys on stage stunned many of these individuals. Yoshi had nothing better to do than play and practice while Tommy had a natural talent, only aided by watching his mom perform and gaining a little insight to the profession.

Amidst the commotion, a small hand reached up and tugged on Charlie's sleeve tentatively. "Charlie?" Snowe's voice squeaked out loud enough to be heard over Tommy's singing and Yoshi's playing.

"Snowe?" Charlie was surprised, genuinely shocked to find Snowe here. "What are you doing here? You should be hanging around places like this."

Snowe looked genuinely frightened, his large dark eyes round and glistening from tears threatening to overflow. "I followed Yoshi 'cause Twix was already gone and I didn't want to be alone." He stuttered through an explanation as if he'd be scolded for being there. "But I don't like it here, I wanna go home, can you help me? Please?" He tugged again desperately.

Charlie slipped an arm around Snowe, "Of course I'll walk you home." He leaned over (far over) and kissed Snowe on the forehead, "It's alright, let's get out of here." Charlie started guiding Snowe out of the house party, shooting a look toward the stage wondering if Tommy would realize he left. He didn't, but that probably didn't matter.

"Thank you so much!" Snowe smiled brightly, staying close to the much taller teen.

Charlie found it a little difficult to keep an arm around Snowe and still walk upright, the boy was so freaking _short_. "If you're scared I can carry you home..."

Snowe didn't get the offer to be carried often, Twix was strong enough and so was Yoshi but both individuals insisted that Snowe was old enough and more than capable of walking on his own. He looked up at Charlie and nodded a little, "If that's okay…"

Charlie smiled broadly, "It's more than ok." Maybe this was his chance, now that he was finally alone with Snowe –and for the record that _never_ happened. They were always at school, or Twix was there, or they were at the triplet's place and Tommy and Yoshi were there.

Snowe wasn't much help in the 'picking up' department, Charlie had to do all the lifting while Snowe awkwardly crawled up his back into a piggy-back position. "Thanks Charlie," the smaller boy smiled and hugged Charlie from behind, Snowe's warm breath licking at the back of his neck. "It's cold out here." Snowe commented absently as a shiver ran down his back.

"Yeah, it is cold out here," a shudder ran through Charlie's body at Snowe's breath on his neck, so warm and enticing. Shrugging it off as cold made sense, and Charlie wondered if Snowe knew he was covering it up. Snowe was oblivious to a lot of things, but every once in a while he would unexpectedly pick up on something, which might be impressive at the time, but entirely by fluke.

Charlie's curiosity was getting the better of him, and he just had to ask, "Any idea where Twix went? He usually doesn't leave without telling you guys, does he?"

"I'm not sure where Twix went…" Snowe trailed off, trying to remember if his brother mentioned anything about it. "He looked dressed up when he put me to bed, but in normal clothes so he isn't working. Maybe he went to see Dean again…" Snowe glared at the ground in a moment of recollection. "Or for a walk… I don't really know."

Charlie swallowed nervously, way to hit a nerve. "Hey, did you ever talk to Twix about that whole... Dean-thing?" Another one of those: 'just had to ask' moments.

Snowe shook his head, no. "I don't want to talk about it if he doesn't. What can I really say? 'Did Dean do that?' He doesn't know that I know what he does. I'd rather leave it be if that's what he plans to do. Twix doesn't listen to me, it's like I'm useless and just there to take care of." Snowe sighed and rested his head on Charlie's, his cold cheek touching the back of the taller boy's neck.

When they came upon the modest little home Snowe wriggled from Charlie's back and dropped to the ground, running up to the door to let his friend inside. It was, after all, the polite thing to do.

"Thanks again, Charlie." Snowe smiled shyly as he hopped onto the couch, patting it for Charlie to sit with him.

Charlie dropped onto the couch, quickly adjusting to his surroundings. The small house that the triplets lived in was exactly that: small. It was also incredibly old, and Charlie wondered how they kept warm in the winter. The place was cluttered and rundown and it just screamed 'low-income family' but Charlie knew better than to judge them for that, after all they had no parents. It just took a little getting used to. Once Charlie was seated Snowe clambered up onto his knees and wrapped his arms around the larger teen's shoulders in a hug.

The hug was a bit of a surprise, but it was more than welcomed. Charlie promptly returned the embrace, pulling Snowe a bit closer, almost into his lap.

Snowe lingered there for a moment, his eyes slowly fluttering open. He pulled his head back a little to place his nose against Charlie's, looking up into his eyes for a drawn out moment. "I like you, Charlie." He whispered softly before leaning forward and pressing their lips together hesitantly, he wasn't entirely sure what he was doing but he'd seen it done in movies.

Charlie stifled the overenthused voice in his head that shouted 'Oh _hell_ yeah!' at the just as unexpected kiss. Finally! Charlie wasted no time in pulling Snowe up onto his lap, guiding the smaller teen's legs to either side of him to sit straddled, and deepen the kiss. And it wasn't just a push forward, Charlie had waited for this for most of high school –one hand was placed on the back of Snowe's head, holding him close and guiding him through the kiss, while the other hand snaked up the boy's shirt, feeling the soft skin and slender frame of the teen above him. Charlie moaned happily into the kiss, excited for the evening's prospects.

Snowe moaned and started grinding his hips forward for the friction between them. His cheeks were flushed red by now, eyes hazy from the growing lust. Snowe's kisses started as hesitant, cute; slowly they grew more fervent as if he'd needed this for a long time already, almost like he'd hit puberty along with the rest of them but wasn't allowed to have any relief of it.

Snowe moved desperately on top of Charlie, his arms around the teen's broad shoulders, fingers pressing in on his skin. Snowe grasped at Charlie's shirt and pulled it off him, lustfully inspecting the mass of proud muscles that the other teen had been working on. Snowe swallowed and licked his lips, eyes drifting up and down the developed body beneath him.

"Charlie," he whispered softly, his voice on the edge of pure desire and need, "I… I really want to do this." He leaned in and kissed his soon to be partner, his teeth dragging over Charlie's lower lip as he backed away again. His eyes briefly glanced over Charlie's shoulder, over the back of the couch then back to the beautiful, masculine teen in front of him, "But I don't know how, would you… mind showing me?"

Charlie pulled his eyes off Snowe's body to make eye contact again, his eyes slowly focusing through a shroud of lust, "Yeah, I'll show you everything I know. And if nothing else, there's always google, right? We can experiment." Charlie pulled Snowe off and laid him down on the couch, crawling over him and looking down into his deep, dark eyes. "First, just keep doing what you're doing –follow those animalistic instincts and just let go. It'll be so much better."


	24. Chapter 24

The crowd that had gathered at the party was roaring their final applause for a show well played. Yoshi took his bow, and couldn't help but admire the way Tommy seemed to feed off the energy. The guy was practically bouncing with excitement; his eyes were gleaming with pride and ecstasy. Yoshi wondered what he'd look like after a night in bed.

Tommy watched the people nearly rush the stage, his chest rising and falling along with the heavy pound of his heart. He'd never been treated like this, like he wasn't some rich brat that got everything he wanted. He started walking toward the crowd when he felt a hand on him.

"Hey, hey, hey," Yoshi snagged Tommy before the other teen was swept up in an adoring crowd to be swooned over and congratulated, "we've still got tear down. C'mon, let's get this gear down so we can get to the drinks already." Yoshi started off toward the storage boxes for the stages sound kits, "And don't you tell me it can wait, because this stuff'll get trashed if we leave it."

Tommy looked at the people then back at Yoshi, "But- but…" he looked again then sighed heavily, "Fine." He waved the crowd off, "Behave yourself kids!" he called, remembering that as something Castiel used as a send off. Tommy trotted backstage with Yoshi, "I know it'll get trashed, I know. But MAN! We killed out there!" He nearly squeed with joy, still totally pumped up.

Cleaning up would've gone a whole lot faster if Yoshi's eyes weren't stuck on that sexual icon that had been masquerading as a regular teenager and friend. Those heavy jeans and leather jacket destroyed the shape of an amazing body, sinfully hiding it away from the prying eye. It was hot in here, and Tommy's jacket was discarded to the side, showing off his strong, lithe form. His shirt clung to his body from the sweat induced from the lighting and performance, and the way his body moved was hypnotising, and entirely accidental.

The after party was fantastic, full of pounding bass and alcohol, and crazy fucking teenagers. The alcohol kept Yoshi's jealousy at bay while Tommy was the center of many people's attention. Yoshi didn't even notice the compliments he was receiving on his playing, about his style and performance. His obsessional focus remained fixed on Tommy.

"Hey," Yoshi was pressed against Tommy's side, whispering in his ear with his lips lingering by Tommy's earlobe. "You wanna get going? You should stay over at my place tonight." A pale arm snaked its way around Tommy's midsection, holding him closer as Yoshi kept their bodies pressed together to accentuate his point of coming over.

Tommy was happily enjoying the attention he was getting from everyone else, but the attention from Yoshi was different somehow. Even though he hung out with the guy pretty much every day it was different. The shiver running down his back didn't stop even as Yoshi possessively pulled him closer. "Yeah, we should probably head out," he nodded his head in agreement, resting a hip on the darker teen. "We'll see you guys next time," he winked at his fans and walked out with Yoshi.

Outside on the walk home, Yoshi kept an arm slung around Tommy's waist, "You have no idea how incredibly sexy you are, do you? It's unbelievable how attractive you are –and before you say anything, I was starting in on this _before_ I had anything to drink."

Tommy wasn't sure Yoshi ever complimented him that way, let alone so many compliments at once. His cheeks reddened, "Thanks, Yoshi." He caught himself before turning into a mouse; this was not conducive to his reputation at all. He took his friend's jaw and pulled him closer, locking their lips in a demanding kiss. Tommy refused to be submissive, at least not easily. It was in his nature, despite his strength. Castiel was the submissive of the relationship but Dean's personality wasn't always dominating. And Dean was the one Tommy was trying to copy.

The young Winchester pulled away with a smirk, "If you want a piece of this, you'll have to catch it." He wriggled away and started booking it down the street toward Yoshi's house.

Yoshi's smile turned into a wolfish grin –the only stipulation to getting what he wanted was catching it. Tommy knew what Yoshi was after, and running was his way of telling Yoshi that it wouldn't be easy –but it did nothing to refute or deny that when captured Tommy wouldn't be in the same position Yoshi intended for him. Tommy wanted it, he just didn't know it. Yoshi gave chase, whether he caught Tommy or not, they'd eventually make it to _someone's_ bed.

Tommy knew he was much faster than Yoshi, it wasn't due to malnutrition anymore because Yoshi was eating like a normal person; no it was because Tommy wasn't entirely human. He paused periodically to tease his friend; slowly sliding his pants down to rest lower on his hips, seductive dance movements, and even touching himself. Just to taunt Yoshi on the run home.

"You know you keep that up someone's going to pull you into an alley and offer you fifty," Yoshi snapped sarcastically, growing a little frustrated with his inability to actually get anywhere _close_ to Tommy. The guy was practically dancing circles around him. If it wouldn't be so very worth it to keep up the effort, Yoshi would've stopped running several blocks back.

As Tommy ran up the front steps and pushed the door open his ears caught something that his mind hadn't fully recognized before he stepped inside. Tommy's eyes widened and his mouth slowly twisted up into a grin, "That's my boy…" he almost chuckled, not entirely surprised by what he saw.

Yoshi jogged up the front step, noting that Tommy hadn't moved from the doorway. "What's up?" Yoshi panted, trying to make it look as though catching his breath didn't require as much effort as it did. Peering into the living room Yoshi found the focal point of Tommy's attention, "Oh shit..."

Snowe was positioned on top of Charlie, both of them naked and in the middle of a heated action. Snowe held all of Charlie inside him, his thighs shaking on either side of the larger teen's hips as he thrust up into Snowe and Snowe pushed down. A bright red blush tinted Snowe's face; his eyes squeezed shut though his expression was far from pained.

Snowe hadn't taken notice of the audience that had gathered, he was too far-gone in the feeling. Though his legs were getting tired from supporting himself in such a position, from lifting up and pressing down at the right moments for more vibrant sensations, it wasn't an issue for Charlie. The Winchester boy had taken a firm hold of Snowe's hips and moved him up and down for him; the strength of the taller teen was astounding at times.

With Charlie's hands busy, Snowe was left to eagerly stroke himself, his hand slick from the pre-cum formed and rubbing it desperately into his hardened flesh. Snowe wasn't shameful and he wasn't modest, he cried out and screamed for Charlie repeatedly until he could finally release. Snowe's entire body shook from the weight of his orgasm, limbs spazzing and anal passage tightening.

Snowe gasped for air as he dropped onto Charlie's chest, a splat sound made it known to the two watching that there was quite the mess between the two on the couch. Snowe's breathing slowed as he wrapped his arms around Charlie and nuzzled him gratefully. "Mmm…" he moaned lightly and relaxed completely.

Tommy looked at Yoshi and started to snicker, "They beat us to it, can you believe that shit?"

"With your non-existent sex drive? No, I can definitely believe that my bratty brother beat us to it. I kinda thought Charlie took advantage of the kid months ago."

Tommy snapped a glare on his friend, an un-amused smirk on his lips, "Oh really? You prefer the slutty types who'd rather have sex than do something in life, that's nice to know."

"Hey, you can go somewhere in life and _not_ be completely oblivious to the looks you get, you know. You should try it sometime," Yoshi shot back. If anything Tommy had thick skin. A few friendly jabs wouldn't really offend him.

Snowe opened an eye then closed it again, "Hi Yoshi." He said tiredly, a smile on his lips.

Yoshi arched an eyebrow, "Yeah, hi Snowe." He turned his head to the side, whispering to Tommy, "This isn't an awkward conversation setting at all..." His eyes darted up to Tommy's, "Let's get going."

Tommy shrugged, "Yeah, we should probably get going." He glanced over at Charlie, "Hey buddy," figuring it'd be better to give a quick hello in case Charlie got snippy later.

Charlie rolled his head back over the back of the couch and looked at Tommy, "Uh, ...how's it going? I kind of got tired of your party so we, ah, came here." Charlie offered up a sheepish smile.

Tommy smirked, "No problem," he took Yoshi's hand and led him down the hall, away from the cousin/brother combo.

Finally reaching Yoshi's room, Tommy discarded his shirt immediately, feeling the chilled air on his skin. Even though that was his cousin in the other room he was still feeling the effects of watching the end of a porno. Tommy hooked his thumbs in his pants and looked at Yoshi with a smile, knowing his friend would notice the growing lump in his pants.

"Come and get it, tough guy." He warned playfully, his voice hitting a lower note that used to be untouchable in his younger years. Tommy hopped onto the bed and gave his hips a seductive swing, pants still on until Yoshi did the job of taking them off.

Of course, Tommy Winchester wasn't going to be submissive without a fight.

Yoshi stood in the doorway for a moment, watching Tommy have his fun, swinging his hips and unintentionally fluttering his feminine eyelashes. Yoshi smirked, swinging the bedroom door closed behind him. "You know, you're acting like a bit of a whore..." Yoshi trailed off, circling round to the bed. He dropped his leather trench coat to the floor and began unbuttoning his shirt, leaving it on and open as he crept up from the foot of the bed. "You'll get what's coming to you... and then some."

Tommy grinned, "Maybe I'm acting this way because I know your type," he'd teased Yoshi earlier though in no way was he angry about it. He rather enjoyed playing the part of Yoshi's whore, it sounded a little fun. That sense of needing something interesting to do came from a strong connection to his mom, Castiel always had to be entertained.

Yoshi snatched up Tommy's ankles and dragged him down the bed until he was just below him. Yoshi smirked again, almost dangerously. He was never too sure how much Tommy really trusted him, or maybe feared him. Even amongst his friends Yoshi enjoyed that reputation of unpredictability. "These're going to have to come off now." Yoshi reached for the fly of Tommy's pants, "And for the record –you're caught, and you wanted it from the start."

Tommy's heart skipped, his breathing catching in his throat as his gaze lingered on that devilish grin. Yoshi's dark red eyes on him sent a shiver down his spine, a shudder that shook his excited muscles subtly, his body shifting below his friend. "Never said I didn't want it," he whispered back, his mind considering who he was more like in this split second. Was he in the same position as Castiel, or was he like Dean?

Yoshi's hands on him lifted a low moan from his throat, Tommy gasped lightly at the new feeling. He wasn't one or the other; he was both. Tommy wanted to try everything, to do anything, as long as it was with someone he cared about. Yoshi fit that description; he'd been there for so long and had done so much for Tommy. He deserved the affection, the want and need that Tommy had to offer.

Tommy propped himself up, his pants off and legs spread in a display only for the male above him. His slender hands reached up and pulled Yoshi down to him, lips meeting in a hot, passionate embrace. The young Winchester leaned back after getting a better taste, his eyes more than lustful, "Stay with me," Tommy whispered, "Be mine, Yoshi."

Yoshi's eyes fluttered opened and he took a long gaze down at his boyfriend beneath him. They were already going out, officially. So why ask him to stay? What was that extra something he was asking for? Yoshi's strong and immediate emotional response was 'yes,' and he had to stop and think. '_Since when was this about staying with Tommy? When had the plan changed from getting close to get his money to actually caring about the boy?_' Did it matter? He cared now –fiercely. Tommy was sheltered by his family, and he'd be rightly screwed if he were ever away from them. As tough as he acted, he'd never be able to survive on his own because he was delicate, soft, and vulnerable –and he didn't even know it.

"Yes, Tommy," Yoshi's warm breath blew over Tommy's neck as he moved to whisper in his ear, "I'll stay with you, and be yours, for as long as you need me."

Tommy sighed with a shudder as the small hairs on his neck stood on end. Yoshi's voice in his ears, exhaled air brushing past his skin; Tommy hadn't felt this way before and honestly he didn't know what to do about it. He'd heard enough from his parents, seen enough online and in movies, he figured he had a decent grasp on the rest of the situation.

Tommy smiled and lifted Yoshi's jaw, "Then I'll be yours." He whispered in return, kissing him again.

Unlike the two in the other room, Tommy took it slow with Yoshi. He realized within seconds that the feeling and emotion was just as important for their first time as the physical. Both individuals were new to the idea of sleeping with someone so no one could be disappointed anymore than the other. And if that wasn't true, then Tommy figured he had some inherent skill in this department, at the very least.

* * *

><p>Cas crawled into his bunk in their tour bus again as they started down the road one more time. He stared up at the ceiling, feeling that familiar ache at his core. Rubbing his abdomen gingerly, he couldn't help but notice it wasn't his heart directly that was hurting. "Balthazar, Gabriel…" he turned his head to look in their general directions, concern embedded in his usually clear blue eyes. "Why am I hurting like this? What's causing it?"<p>

Anna sat up from her bed, "First you have to tell us what happened," she stared up at top bunk sternly. "What did that to you in the bathroom?"

Castiel shuddered, "I… saw my reflection move independently, it spoke to me and I just… What it said and what happened afterward… It's like I could feel the pain of someone betraying me, all of the raw emotions it brings up in a person and more… Or maybe it was more like someone was tearing me in two, as if a part of me was trying to rip off and leave."

Anna shook her head and looked at the angel lying next to her, "Any ideas?"

Gabriel sat up on his bunk, "It could be brain damage. I mean, you're hallucinating right? Did you hit your head on anything while we were touring? Or maybe it's a brain eating disease! Hey, you could die at the same time as Dean afterall."

"Not funny, Gabriel," Balthazar scolded, "and entirely incorrect anyway. It's the description of 'feeling betrayed' that really tipped me off. Castiel, you're emotionally and spiritually attached to Dean, and if he's doing something behind your back, you'd know..." Balthazar didn't really want to push it, didn't want to be the one to accuse of something so life altering. "Whatever this is, it is tied to your grace."

Cas, ignoring Gabriel to the best of his abilities, stared at Balthazar fearfully. "My grace is making me feel this way?" he clutched at the spot as it started aching more fervently. _"Yeah, genius. You neglectful, selfish little dick."_ Castiel looked up violently looking for the source of that angry, hateful voice only to see himself standing right next to the head of his bunk bed, face leaned in as close as it could get without touching.

"Cas?" Anna crawled out of the covers and glanced to see what Castiel was so terrified of.

The angel flinched and looked at her, his hand nearly digging into his abdomen in an attempt to squeeze and massage his grace. "Nothing, it's nothing."

"That isn't nothing, Castiel." Anna snapped, "If this is a grace problem can't we fix it?" She looked at Balthazar again, confused.

"He said it's tied to Dean," Cas tried to relax on his back, glancing up at the head of his bed a few times to make sure there wasn't anyone standing there.

"Well then we should figure out what Dean's doing, shouldn't we?" Anna glowered angrily. "Anybody feel like unexpectedly 'popping by'?"

Gabriel nodded fervently, "Yeah, I'd like to drop in on the guy. What could he _possibly_ be up to, right?"

Cas shook his head, "Come on guys, just leave it be. I trust Dean, he said he wasn't doing anything to betray me and I believe that." _"He has every right to do it, you know. He loves someone else, and you deserve the stab in the back. He loves somebody else more."_ Castiel flinched again, squeezing his eyes shut so he wouldn't see the gaunt, ugly expression on a face he knew would be leaning in closer and closer.

"_He doesn't love you anymore, it's just to keep up appearances for Tommy. You know you pushed him away, you made a mistake and now there's nothing you can do. He's fucking someone else and loving that it isn't you."_

"SHUT UP!" Castiel thrashed forward and sent a shockwave of holy magic through the bus and, sequentially, through his visualized self. Cas' chest heaved up and down as he started to breathe more heavily. He recognized this as the start of one of those episodes and did his best to force it down. Though his body trembled from the pain he managed to keep his mind together, he didn't transform into a whimpering baby on the floor and that was an accomplishment.

Anna's frowned deepened, "If it isn't Dean doing this to your grace than what is?"

Cas shook his head, "I have no idea."

Balthazar's expression was pained, watching his dear Castiel suffer through this. "Cas, if you trust Dean so much, and you really don't want to drop in on him, I could seal up your grace for a while. Put up a barricade between you and it. This would leave you powerless, but also without the pain it is causing you." Balthazar looked at the younger angel meaningfully, hoping he could do something to help.

Castiel nodded, "Yes, please Balthazar." He looked at what he'd just done to their tour bus, how everything was now on the floor and there was a nice dent in the side, "If it'll stop the pain I want you to lock it down, cut it off from me." He wasn't entirely sure of how often he used his powers in the first place, how bad could it be?

Balthazar looked over at Gabriel, "And you stay in your seat. If Cas doesn't want you dropping in then don't do it –to Dean it'll look like you were sent and that Cas is suspicious of him for something. It'd be just as bad as though Cas himself were dropping in. Respect his wishes and get back in your bunk."

Gabriel grumbled his protests but complied, dropping himself back in the bunk and crossing his arms over his chest. "The curiosity is going to kill me, you know."

Anna looked at Gabriel, "I'm curious too," she wanted to punch Dean for doing these things to Cas. First off, everyone painted the angel as a bad guy because he wanted a little friggin' space. When your husband is crowding you and whining and crying when you aren't home for ONE night of the week, it gets to be a little much. Of course Castiel wanted to hang out with his other friends, he knew them before Dean and it wasn't fair to the rest of them that Dean get all of Castiel's time. For one thing, Anna wasn't going to live forever either and she didn't appreciate the loss of one of her best friends.

"I'm having a talk with that guy the next time we're there." She grumbled angrily and rolled over in her bunk.

Cas sighed and looked at Balthazar, "I can't sleep… could you do it now?" His eyes were pleading, like an animal in a severe amount of pain and it doesn't know how to tell you.

Balthazar nodded grimly, "Right, now lay back. This may hurt for a moment, but it'll be over quickly." Balthazar placed a gentle hand on Castiel's shoulder, guiding him back down to the bed. "Just close your eyes and hold tight." Balthazar reassured him again before immersing a glowing hand into Cas' abdomen and fishing around for the nephelim's grace.

'_Amazing,_' Balthazar's eyes widened just slightly, '_How did I never notice before? Castiel's only half angel... his grace is tied to his human soul. Should make the division easy..._' Balthazar aimed to work quickly, not wanting to stay longer than he needed, both as a mercy to Castiel who was undoubtedly in a great deal of pain, and as a mercy to himself. The soul does not lie, and the open, barren honesty combined with the hurt from Cas' connected grace just begged to let Balthazar know why. Like the two were screaming at him to let Castiel know why he hurt so much, to tell him what Dean was doing behind his back –because Castiel's grace _knew_ the cause of its torment, and like any other injured body part the constant shouts of pain were an indicator that Castiel needed to tend to the injury. Balthazar split the grace from Castiel's soul, erecting a small box to store it away, silencing its desperate demands.

Castiel whimpered as he felt his friend's hand slide around inside him. He kept his eyes squeezed shut, fearful that if he opened them somehow everything would go wrong and he'd end up hurt worse than he was now. It was irrational but he couldn't help it.

Balthazar pulled his hand from Castiel's middle, reaching up to brush some of the stray strands of black hair from Castiel's forehead. "There you go, all patched up. Now take it easy, it's another 12 hours before we arrive at our next performance."

Blue eyes slowly opened, he felt a hollow space deep inside that throbbed gently from the pain that used to pound there. It took him a moment to understand what was going on around him but once he got his bearings he managed a brave nod, "Thank you, Balthazar." He smiled and relaxed against his pillows.

Gabriel looked over to Anna, "Well, this is only mildly unsettling. We're not going to do anything else about this? Just... leave him alone like that?"

Balthazar interjected, "We're not 'leaving him alone,' his grace is held back. And while he's trying to live a normal life anyway, it's just as well. Life among humans can be difficult, and his grace isn't helping him right now. If it sends him into hallucinogenic panic attacks, and it's not essential to his survival, it may as well be cut out. Sort of like removing a kidney."

"But that's his freaking grace! I'd be a walking zombie without mine, like a soulless freak or something. How can you say that this is ok?" Gabriel fumed –it hadn't been that long since Balthazar was the bad guy –had wanted to haul Castiel away from all this, away from his life and his friends and his love. Taking Balty's word on Cas being 'better off' would take a whole lot more convincing. Gabriel cast a worried glance over Castiel's slumbering form.

"That's just it –he _has_ a soul. It's in there with his grace, and that's all the more reason that he'll be fine. And don't forget that he asked me to do it. If he wants it undone, all he needs to do is ask." Balthazar retired to his bunk and pulled the curtain closed, "And I don't want to hear another word of this until morning. Or never, that'd be fine too."

"Whatever," Gabriel looked at Anna, "I still don't like it."

Anna sighed, "Gabriel I understand your worries about what Balthazar is doing but you can always undo it. You're an archangel, right? You're stronger, so if things go bad then just fix it. I'm more concerned about _why _it was happening." She looked up to Castiel on his bunk and realized he was snoring lightly, unable to respond thanks to a peaceful sleep.

Her eyes narrowed in a sad, angry motion, "How long has it been that he couldn't sleep? What's happening?" She glared at Balthazar, "What did you see in there? Tell me now." Anna leaned in close; her demands and temper were frightening enough, even if all of her band mates were angels.

Balthazar looked at her plainly, "I'm not telling you anything about what's going on in there. It's one thing to read a person's mind when they are lying to you. It is quite a different thing if there's something unknown in their soul that is tormenting them and not even they want to know what it is." Balthazar sighed, nestling into his bunk to get the rest of the night's sleep. "If you want to know what's bothering Castiel, you have to ask Castiel. If he doesn't want to tell you, he probably doesn't want you to know. Hell, he doesn't want anyone to know what Dean's doing. So please, just leave it."

"What do you mean, 'what Dean's doing'?" Gabriel inquired. "So then you know for sure that it's about Dean, and he's doing it on purpose?"

"I never said that," Balthazar backtracked quickly, "And this is no longer up for discussion. Now good night."

Anna frowned and glanced over at Gabriel, neither of them wanted to leave it at 'good night' but they both knew that drilling Balthazar now wouldn't work. _'I'll find a way to squeeze it out of him later.'_ She thought as she slid into the sheets. "Fine, have it your way." She conceded verbally.

**Author's Note:**

**Thanks again for reading and waiting, final projects are bitches I swear! Oh college... Anyway, I know a lot of you are hating this and I commend you for continuing to read it, considering it's gone for longer than the combination of the first two parts of this trilogy! Also, I'm sorry we keep grossing you out with Dean/Twix stuff XP I continue to see Dean as the young hot guy from the first few seasons of the show and I tend to forget he's older in this fic ha ha **

**I enjoy the reviews! Please keep them coming.**


	25. Chapter 25

_Several Months Pass…_

"And we're back!" An announcer beamed happily, overly excited about her next task.

Tommy crossed his arms and leaned on Yoshi who he'd dragged over to watch TV with him. It was the weekend before graduation and both boys didn't really seem to care much. Now Charlie, on the other hand, was just as excited as the announcer it seemed.

"This woman doesn't have to be so excited…" Tommy muttered as she chittered on about band info.

"Of course I'm here today, the last stop of Pleasure My Angel's world tour, with the famous band themselves!"

Tommy sat upright suddenly, incredibly interested. "Mom!" he'd only spoken to Castiel on the phone and saw him on TV, and of course the radio. Being a teenager Tommy usually had better things to do than talk on the phone to his mom, but seeing those bright blue eyes on the screen, up close and just sitting there in a normal-like setting, Tommy's chest ached a little. "Mom looks pretty good." He smiled, glad that Castiel didn't appear to be dying like Tommy had feared he would, without all the stage make-up.

"Thank you for coming, how was your tour?"

"Great! It's been such a long time since we travelled like that, I really enjoyed it." Castiel was the first to speak, though that was expected since he was the lead singer. "I look forward to doing it again, though right now I think we need a rest. These old men have to take a break." He laughed.

"In speaking of which, how long have you been a band? Over twenty years now, right? Castiel you look as young now as you did when I first started crushing on you." The announcer laughed though she was serious.

Tommy smiled, watching the camera zoom in on Castiel's smiling face, "Mom's coming home soon." He got up and ran out of the room, "Dad! Dad mom's coming home soon!"

Of course, since Yoshi liked Tommy and Snowe liked Charlie, and of course secretly Twix was Dean's lover, all three triplets were there. Jo was in the kitchen showing Snowe and, consequently, Charlie, how to bake delicious cookies that her mom used to make. They were all wearing aprons and covered in flour when Tommy ran in. He knew that wherever someone was baking, his dad couldn't be far off to taste-test it.

Dean sat in the kitchen, watching his nephew and nephew's boyfriend bake cookies, snatching up unguarded dough when no one was looking. He could remember decades back –just after high school hanging out with Sammy and his pals at the diner. Annoying music and disagreements about everything, pointless races between Dean's Impala and whatever sports car Bella was driving that month. Back in those days, the idea that he'd be gay was never one that occurred to him. If someone had told him that Sam's son would be in a frilly pink apron in his mansion house baking cookies with a very fem boyfriend, Dean would've punched out a minimum of two teeth on principal alone. It seemed almost weird to be here now, looking back on where he'd been.

Dean turned his gaze on Twix, his barely-of-age secret boyfriend. They'd passed by half a year together, and were quickly coming up on their one year anniversary. Dean knew Twix didn't expect anything of him, and that was exactly why he wanted to plan something nice. Something really nice, like dinner and a movie, a gift of some kind and a night together for just the two of them; maybe in the suite of a hotel. Dean caught himself staring at Twix, nearly ogling –and he caught himself hopefully before anyone really noticed.

Tommy beamed at Dean, ignoring the rest of the people in the kitchen, "Mom's coming back, we should do something for him!" Castiel had purposefully not told anyone he was coming back, he wanted it to be a surprise.

Twix sat comfortably at the table with Dean as he watched Snowe, his red eyes glancing up at an old classmate, but more over it was the son of his lover. 'Castiel's coming home... we should- No, we're visiting. I have every right to be here right now, it's fine.' Twix reassured himself quickly. It would look even more odd if they ran out after hearing that news.

'Wellthat'llmake this anniversary thing a little difficult,' Dean mused bitterly, before giving himself a mental slap in the face. His partner was coming home, the mother of his son and first real love of Dean's life. Dean had never stopped loving Cas, not really. The stir of excitement at the mention of his home coming caught Dean a little off guard. Cas –and more importantly his band- had wanted the tour to be legit, and random teleportation to see one another wasn't legit –so the best Dean had was phone conversations over the past several months. The last time he'd seen Cas in person he looked like a ghost, sick and panicked.

"Yeah, we should do something. What do you think would be a good idea? Dinner with just the family, you, me, and mom?" Dean smiled at his energetic son, loving and eager to see his months-absent mother.

Tommy nodded, "Dinner sounds like an awesome idea, mom'll love it, I'm sure." He squeezed his eyes shut and shook both fists excitedly, "I can't wait to see him! I saw him on TV just now and he looks really good-"

Something Tommy hadn't realized while watching TV was that this show wasn't aired 'live'.

The sounds of a rather large bus pulling onto the drive way rumbled through the house. Jo clapped her hands happily, excited to see Gabriel again. "Yay! Mom's cookies for everyone!"

Tommy's eyes widened in further excitement as he bolted out of the house, nearly knocking Sam over. "Whoa where's the fire!" The taller man stuttered as he adjusted his footing. "Sheesh."

Dean smiled, getting up from his seat in the kitchen, "No fire –Cas' home. It's a little more important to him than any fire." Dean looked out to the door, the one left wide open in Tommy's haste to get out to Cas as fast as possible. "I hope he's doing ok. You think he missed me at all?" Dean looked up at Sam for a moment, he's confident for the past decade's bottled up clingy-ness.

Sam smirked, "Dean, you're such a worry wart. I'll bet he charges in here and jumps on you."

Castiel strode down the driveway; leaving any kind of clean up and collecting to the angels who could make things appear and disappear. His smile brightened when he saw Tommy rushing out to meet him. "Hi Tommy," he called casually, bracing for the hug.

Tommy was entirely unaware, as was everyone who wasn't in the band, that Castiel's grace had been locked. He was used to being able to hug his mom as tightly as he could and that's what he did. Castiel's strained breathing and stumble were enough indication to let go sooner, "Mom, I'm so glad to see you!" Tommy chalked it up to Castiel being incredibly tired; he was oblivious to the knowledge of a grace, had no idea what it was or did.

"I'm glad to see you too, baby. How's school?" Cas smiled; relieved Tommy stopped squishing him.

"I'm graduating on Tuesday," Tommy beamed, "Your invite is on the fridge."

"Oh my god baby I'm so sorry!" Cas hugged him, "I almost missed it." He squeezed his shut, "I won't leave like that again, okay?" Castiel could still remember the pain of what he knew was Dean. That feeling that he was never around, that he was neglecting his family and distancing himself. "I won't leave."

Tommy frowned and pushed Castiel back and held his shoulders that way, "Mom, you're being stupid. You're allowed to leave, to have fun. Why would I ask you to stay forever? You need a life too."

Cas blinked several times to let that register, his heart slowing down and his smile coming back, "Thank you, Tommy. That means a lot."

"Don't worry about dad, you know he can be a drama queen." Tommy smirked, taking Castiel's hand, "Come on, everyone's in the kitchen!"

"Your dad too, I imagine. Jo's baking?"

"Yep."

"Figures." Castiel laughed, his heart beat quickening again, his steps hurried as he almost raced with Tommy to see Dean. They'd spoken on the phone but that wasn't the same, both of them knew that.

Castiel followed Tommy into the house and straight to Dean, tears welled in his eyes and he threw himself onto his husband in a tight hug, "I missed you so much, Dean." He whispered in the warmth of his man's neck. "I love you."

Twix looked away from the display, feeling he had to right to see it, feeling Castiel had no right to say that to Dean.

Dean couldn't help the smile that grew over his features, a genuine ear-to-ear smile complete with the welling up of tears. He held Cas close and tight, happy to have him home again in one piece –glad to find his mate healthy and alive. "I love you too, Cas." Dean whispered back, holding back a sob of relief. "I missed you too, so very much. I'm glad to see you're alright." It took Dean a fair moment before releasing Cas from his grip.

"We should celebrate your homecoming. If you're not too exhausted from the trip, how about we go out for dinner –just the family this time." Dean smiled down at Cas, almost losing himself to those bright blue eyes all over again. He'd almost forgotten what they looked like up close –forgotten what they felt like when you were immersed in their depths.

Castiel smiled brightly, "That would be perfect, Dean." He looked over at Tommy who was standing happily to the side to watch his parents reunite. Cas leaned up and kissed Dean desperately, needing to feel safe again. Without his grace intact he had no power to protect himself, sure he had Balthazar and Gabriel but sometimes that wasn't enough. That same pain of needing someone he'd felt before meeting Dean had reared up again, threatening to consume him entirely.

Dean could be oblivious to a great many things –but very few of those things were regarding Castiel. Dean didn't miss the desperation in the kiss, the fear in the hug, and on top of all that no matter how tightly Castiel held on to him, he felt weak. Like something was missing. Dean felt his worry and concern begin to spike as his grip on Castiel tightened. Dean pulled him back in close for another hug, whispering in his ear, "Hey, are you ok? Something seems off."

Castiel trembled against Dean's embrace, the strength and heat of him enough to make Cas' eyes water. "I'm alright," he whispered back, "I'll tell you later." He promised as he leaned back, a small smile on his lips. He looked relieved to see his family though the fear in his eyes wasn't hidden. Castiel was scared; terrified without his grace and of the things that might happen to him and his loved ones. Of course there were two other angels but he still trusted himself with Dean and Tommy's protection more.

Charlie looked over at Twix; "Maybe you should go hang out with Yoshi in the living room. Snowe'll be fine here with me, and I think Yoshi lost his date." Charlie's suggestion sounded reasonable, but his expression was anything close to light hearted. He and Snowe didn't say a word about that picture in the museum months back. And with that thought itching at the back of his mind, Charlie couldn't help but notice how often he saw Dean with Twix, how often the two of them would conveniently disappear at the same time.

Twix looked at Charlie quizzically; did the other boy know? Or was this only about Snowe's art? Regardless, Twix nodded and strode out. His chest ached incredibly; with every step away from Dean he swears he could hear a hollow crack as his heart decidedly tore itself in half. No matter how close he made it to Dean Castiel would always step in between them. He knew that when everything started, but these last few months with just him and Dean… He'd tricked himself with a false hope.

"Is it okay if we do dinner later tonight? I'd like to relax a little bit." Castiel rested his head against Dean's chest, enjoying the embrace for what he thought it was. Twix's presence wasn't a bother to him in any way, though he had no idea why the other boy was really there.

"Yes, don't worry about that just take your time." Dean reassured Cas, keeping a gentle hold on him. Dean knew it wasn't in his nature to hurt people, especially people he cared about. Clinging to Castiel now, he could clearly see that he'd already gone too far with Twix. There was probably no way for Castiel not to get hurt from his actions. Dean had spent majority of their marriage trying to keep Castiel with him, keep his angel safe from whatever was out there and make sure that he knew he was loved –so if he cared so damn much, why was he doing this to him? Dean fought hard to keep the tears at bay and clutched Cas tighter. "Why don't we go settle down in the living room? I'm sure everyone wants to talk to you... but if you prefer we could go lie down for a while..."

"I'd like to lie down, if that's okay." Cas presses his cheek against Dean, eyes closed.

"It's fine, mom." Tommy looked a little concerned now, he hadn't caught something that Dean had originally, but now he saw it. Castiel wasn't himself. "Go rest up, we'll have dinner later."

Cas smiled at Tommy, "Thanks, sweetie. I appreciate it."

Sam placed a hand on Castiel's shoulder, "You know, you don't have to be scared of us. What's wrong?"

Cas looked up at his brother in-law and realized how much he'd cut out the rest of his family. "Sam…" He wasn't sure what to say, that one small gesture meant so much more than Cas had expected. "Thank you."

Sam smiled, "We're your friends, if nothing else. Open up to us."

Cas paused for a moment, "I really do appreciate it, Sam. But this is honestly something I have to discuss with Dean, alone. I'll talk to you guys later." He hadn't let go of Dean, not wanting to leave that safety.

"Understood," Sam shrugged, still smiling warmly. "Can't say I didn't try."

* * *

><p>Yoshi looked up at Twix from his lounging position on the couch, "Hey, you look miserable. What happened?" Yoshi sat up, a little more concerned with Twix's state of mind as his brother's grim features stayed firmly stationed in place. "Did you..." Yoshi wanted to ask if Twix wanted to talk about it, but they hadn't been on the best of terms in the last while, since their spat in high school. It seemed silly, but he'd meant every word at the time, and pride was a stubborn thing.<p>

Twix looked up at his brother, long dark hair draped over his shoulders and curved around his undeniably handsome face. That same face was distorted in a warped concern that Twix could hardly recognize in those red eyes. "Yoshi," He started quietly, his anger and feelings of betrayal swelling and diminishing like a massive wave in his slender form.

"Not here," He managed to say calmly. "I can't talk about it here." Snowe was safe and sound with Charlie, Twix had a feeling Snowe would stay the night the moment they'd left the house that morning. He shook his head to fight back frustrated tears but they came, a lot stronger than himself. He hadn't expected Castiel's return to be so hard; he thought it'd be simple to say 'we'll do this in secret'.

Twix felt the hot liquid on his cheeks and immediately turned around. Yoshi barely accepted him as it was, showing weakness would break what ever they had left, or so Twix's twisted mentality told him. He'd seen the way Yoshi looked at Snowe, weak and in need of help. Twix could do things on his own, he always had and he always would.

However what he was displaying now wasn't a sign that he could do it on his own, he remembered the conversation he and Yoshi had a while back, and he wouldn't forget it. Twix never wanted Yoshi to act toward him like Yoshi acted toward Snowe, Twix was the one given that responsibility, their father asked it of him and so he would do everything he could for his brothers. If Yoshi saw him as incapable he would have failed that one last thing his father had asked. Twix wouldn't be able to handle it.

"_My arms are open to you when you want to help us… When you want to help me." _

"_Fuck off. Then go ahead and keep waiting with your stupid arms open, I won't take it!"_

Twix knew what Yoshi meant; he didn't want Twix's help. However there was a double meaning there, a second point to the conversation. Yoshi refused to help Twix as well, another thing Twix would never forget.

Yoshi waited patiently on the couch, pulling himself back up into an upright position waiting for Twix to collect his thoughts. As odd as it was to find Twix uncollected at all, Yoshi couldn't help the nagging feeling in the back of his head, like he knew something was really bothering Twix but his brother would never tell him so. Twix's failure to fully hide his tears only worried Yoshi more. He'd convinced himself that everything was just fine for far too long.

"Hey, Twix..." Yoshi got up off the couch to move toward his distraught brother, and froze when Twix started to speak.

"I know," Twix finally managed to speak to Yoshi aloud again, after all of the inner torment and thought. "I know you don't really want to hear this and I know you don't want to help. I fucked up and it's on me, you don't have to go out of your way to hear it." Twix could feel his voice shake and knew it was obvious to Yoshi; the guy had an ear for sounds.

"Twix, wait a second." Yoshi's mind raced, what the hell should he say? Part of this was officially his fault; his fault that his brother was tormented and suffering alone with no one to talk to and no one to help him.

Twix shook his head again, 'I have to get out of here.' He thought moments before he felt his legs comply. With an astounding speed that Yoshi hadn't seen much of, Twix bolted from the house.

"Twix, wait!" Yoshi shouted, and before he could bolt after him he felt a small voice from behind him.

Snowe, concerned for Twix's sudden exit from the kitchen, wandered into the living room after seeing his brother run. "He's in love, you know." Snowe whispered, his dark eyes glued on the exit as he stepped closer to Yoshi and took his arm, gaze shifting up to make contact with the distress deep inside Yoshi's.

"In love with who?" Yoshi asked impatiently. How could he not have noticed that? Twix didn't spend his time with anyone as far as Yoshi knew. At least, not other than Dean. With Cas gone on tour, Yoshi knew that Twix hadn't come over just to watch his brothers hang out with their boyfriends. But that couldn't mean that he was actually in love with the man, he was old enough to be Twix's father!

"No way..." Yoshi's gaze shifted from Snowe back to the door. "You stay here was Charlie, I'm going after Twix." Yoshi booked it out the door, knowing he'd never catch up with Twix, but fairly certain his brother wouldn't go anywhere but home.

Castiel glanced back toward the entrance to the kitchen, "Sounds like someone left."

Sam peered out the window and nodded, "Yeah, Twix." He felt something was off instantly but didn't want to push it too much, "Weird for him to leave his brothers but he's probably late for work or something, I wouldn't worry."

"Twix left?" Dean asked, eyes darting to the table he and Twix had been sitting at just moments before, where he had been thinking of ways to surprise the young man, to make him smile. When had Twix even left the room? Dean felt a jab of guilt for not noticing –Twix must have been horribly upset with him, he didn't even say goodbye. "Do you think he's ok? I mean, that's really unusual for him. Maybe someone should check on him."

"I'm sure he's fine, Dean. He's pretty independent." Sam added casually though he was pretty concerned himself.

"Yeah, saw Yoshi chase after him," Gabriel piped in, two of Jo's cookies in his hand, one in his mouth. "The kid'll be fine, 'sides, you've got Cas clinging to you for attention. Like you're going to pass that up."

Cas nodded and looked up at Dean again, "Can we lie down for a bit then?" His hands gripped Dean tighter, the lonely feelings swelling to visibility in his eyes.

"Yeah, I wouldn't pass that up for the world." Dean smiled down at Cas, thrilled that he would rather be with just Dean than with everyone else. Dean had tried years ago to keep away from Cas, that hopefully Cas would get jealous and needy. It never worked out quite like that, and apparently it took a few months apart to get him there –but now he had it. Hopefully he could stop himself from thinking about Twix long enough to enjoy it.

Cas smiled and took Dean's hand, leading him up to their room. He'd done this so many times before, they pranced up the stairs, clothing off and up to their usual energetic motions. This time Castiel was slower; his steps unsure and his clothing definitely remaining on. "Dean," he sighed as he dropped onto their bed, his hand tracing the sheets. Little did he know that it wasn't just a bed that belonged to him and Dean alone, Twix had taken his share of it. "I… You know how I was the last time we saw one another?"

How could Dean forget? The whole scenario had given him nightmares for months. Cas' leaving on tour was a bittersweet time for Dean –he'd actually lost full contact with Castiel during that time. Dean didn't want to let the angel tour, never once was it actually a feasible idea for him but Dean had known that he had to say yes. He hoped that Castiel would change his mind and stay, or break the 'no angel powers' rule and teleport back. Or something. But nothing like that happened when Dean said yes, Cas became excited and enthused and all about the band. And it was as though that last thread let loose and Dean just couldn't take it anymore –couldn't take the loneliness, the backseat to Castiel's need for independence.

But the last time Dean had seen Cas he had been a wreck. Watching the tv with Tommy that night was like seeing your ex fall apart without you, and realizing that you still love them and want nothing more than to keep them safe. Dean remembered the panic that ensnared him seeing Castiel like that –like the walking dead in his own skin. It terrified him to know that Cas wasn't well, that he wasn't perfect and protected and that something was incredibly wrong. What was worse, Cas had never told Dean about it. He tried to fight it on his own, tried his hardest to keep it to himself and thus keep it under control. It hurt to know that when Cas really needed him, he wouldn't ask him to be there.

"Yeah, I remember," Dean surmised, leaving the gritty details of the thought process out of the conversation. "I remember you should've gone to see a doctor, that you had some sort of panic attack." Dean sat down next to Cas, wrapping his arms around him again to hold the angel close to him, to help protect him now, for what it was worth.

Castiel had a hard time forgetting it, Dean's arms around him, the pain throbbing and pounding him. "It kept happening after I left. Every night it felt like it would tear me apart, I couldn't take it mentally and I…" He fidgeted, how could he tell Dean what he'd been seeing? That he was practically insane? "I was hallucinating and could barely do anything. Balthazar and Gabriel said it was my grace so… I asked Balthazar to put a wall between my grace and me; that's why I feel so weak, why I'm scared. I'm powerless and helpless and I can't do anything."

Every word of Castiel's explanation made Dean feel worse and worse. Why would Castiel keep that from him? "Why?" Dean choked out, hurt and insulted where he knew he should be strong and comforting for Cas, but he just had to know, "Why wouldn't you tell me? If you were sick, and hurt –worse than anything you've been through before; if you thought that you were losing your mind, why wouldn't you come home to me? What if you had lost it? What if you were never the same again? How did you expect me to live with that?" Dean held Cas against him tightly, not letting go for the world. He sat still, just holding Cas and trying to work out what he was going to do next, what he could possibly say next.

Cas knew Dean wouldn't take the explanation well, or the story for that matter. How could he tell Dean that he didn't ask for help because he thought Dean was causing it? That would've made his husband feel worse. "I felt like I was losing my mind and I… Didn't want you to know how weak I was. I thought you'd think I couldn't handle being on my own for a little bit and I needed to prove to you… but more so to myself, that I could do it. That I wasn't losing myself." Cas was telling the truth, just not all of it, not the main reason. The pain was tied to Dean somehow, and Castiel figured it was probably because he kept pushing Dean away. "The whole thing was probably my fault, don't worry about it."

"I'm sorry Cas," Dean eventually said, releasing his death grip on the angel. "I love you, you know that right? I'm just worried about you... apparently after-the-fact. I just... I missed you, and I had nightmares about you getting hurt when you're not with me."

"I know," Cas smiled and closed his eyes, feeling the warmth and strength of his man. "I missed you too, Dean. I'll always love you, even if it looks like I don't." he kissed Dean's cheek, "I can be a rotten kid sometimes."

"But I'm okay now, really." Cas tried to sound reassuring, "I'm not hurting or anything. I'm exactly how you met me, just without the strength and stuff… Which is how you met me… Okay now I'm talking in circles." He scratched his head and sighed, "So yeah, I had a mental lapse but I'm good now."

"And that thing with your grace makes a lot of sense. We all get through life without super powers, and I don't think you think of me as weak, but I don't have a grace-thing. You'll be fine without it, it'll just take some time to adjust, I guess. I'm not really an angel doctor, so I'm sort of making this up as I go." Dean smiled at Cas, intending the doctor bit to be a mood-lightening joke.

Cas laughed, "You don't have a grace-thing, eh?" He nuzzled his stubbled cheek into Dean's neck playfully, "That's okay, I like you better without super powers anyway, they might go to your head or something."

Dean pulled back from the tight embrace enough to get a sure grip on Castiel's shoulder and hip, pushing him back onto the bed and pulling him up next to him. "Try and relax a little, I've got you now, and you don't need to worry. Everything will be alright."

Cas nodded and closed his eyes; relaxing in bed with the man he loved more than anything. Life couldn't be better.

**Author's Note****:**

**Thanks again everyone. I know how tough it is for you to read this but no worries! Chapter 29 is being hashed out as we speak and it's looking like the last one :D Sad but true. I appreciate those who are sticking through to the end, and I know those who don't like the way this is going aren't mad at the writing just the content XP **

**Please review! I want to know who's all still in this with us :)**


	26. Chapter 26

"Twix!" Yoshi shouted, throwing the door to the house wide open, "Twix, where are you?" Breezing through the house, Yoshi made his way to Twix's bedroom. He knocked on the door while opening it, "Twix, you in here?"

Twix flinched from the knocking. He was buried in his bedding, the first time he'd done it since he was four years old. He wasn't sure if he should answer, but then again… Yoshi never chased after him. "Yes," he muttered vaguely from beneath his huddled blanket. Even in such a damaged state of mind he could still think logically enough to not turn Yoshi away.

Yoshi closed the door behind him, letting himself in regardless of a 'come on in' from his brother. "Twix, what I said way back, I over did it. I'm sorry, ok? I do want to help you; I just didn't want to help you with Snowe or with your path to self-destruction. You aren't doing that stuff anymore, and you're spending a lot of time at the Winchester place... I want to help you with whatever's going on, I do. I don't like seeing you like this, ok?"

Twix sighed lightly and tossed the blanket from his head, eyes red and puffy from the obvious crying, a stray tear slipping down his jawline. "Yoshi…" he started again, sounding tired and almost completely destroyed. "I don't know what you can do at this point." He wiped his eyes again for good measure, hand sliding down his face to catch the lone tear this time. "I don't even know what I'm supposed to do now. And I can't tell you what's going on."

"And Snowe told me, about you and Dean."

Twix flinched again, his eyes darting away from Yoshi's immediately and his hands coming up to hold himself defensively. "Dean is…" he wanted to say 'nothing to me' but even the thought of those words hurt. His bottom lip trembled and a violent sob ripped from his throat, he didn't bother to say anything else and pulled his blankets up again, curling into himself. There was no space of comfort for him, his own bed felt cold and lonely. His home was deserted and his brothers… were unappreciative little bastards. The only comfort he knew was Dean and now Castiel was home. The way they looked at one another and their embrace was too much for him.

Watching his brother hide from the world under his bed covers was not something Yoshi had ever seen before. His strong, independent, genius brother –good at everything and discouraged by very little, was breaking apart. Yoshi had no idea what to say or do, so he watched a moment and waited.

"Dean's married," He cried, "I can't do anything about it. I know it's wrong but he's…" Twix's words caught in his throat for a moment, not allowing him to speak any further than he already had. When his vocal chords were finally let go his cries came out in a way that sounded as if he were slowly being torn into pieces "He's the only one who's ever said he loves me!" This anguished wail was quickly followed by more bawling, Twix came undone completely right in front of his brother.

Yoshi felt his chest tighten a bit, and he wasn't sure if it was pity or disgust. First of all, Snowe's inclination had been right –Twix was sleeping with Dean Winchester. Dean Winchester, a married man. Dean Winchester, father of one son –one son, who Twix's own brother was dating. But if Dean told Twix he loved him, then that would make a lot of sense. Yoshi had noticed Twix stopped 'working' months ago. Twix stopped his midnight job, and yet they still had money –money enough to afford the house and groceries, and even a little bit extra. It must have been from Dean. Not to mention Twix had been happy –happier than Yoshi had ever seen him. Like he loved life, rather than loathed it for its unfairness and difficulties; this was also probably from Dean.

Yoshi crawled onto the bed next to Twix, "Hey, hey it's alright," if anyone had asked Yoshi in that moment if he knew what he was doing, he'd have straight up told them he didn't have a clue. "You don't need to get all worked up about one evening. I'm pretty sure Dean didn't break up with you, his husband just came home. Now sneaking around with a married man isn't easy, but you already knew that. Give it some time, don't let one little thing tear you down." Yoshi had a feeling it was more than just that, more than Dean being back with his family. Twix didn't want to hide –no secret lover was ok with being secret forever. Eventually they wanted the love and attention to be authentic enough to be worth a public display, to confirm their own worth to themselves and their lover. But Yoshi didn't know how to address that, and simply hoped it wouldn't come up.

Twix sobbed, wanting to pull away and shrink into nothing. "You're disgusted with me." He muttered, "I know because I'm disgusted with me." His sharp red eyes lifted to see the face of his distant brother; the one person Twix figured hated him more than anyone else.

"Hey, I'm not captain sympathy here –this is weird as fuck. You're my brother, and as much as you like to act like you're older and more mature, you're just as fucked up in the head as any other child without parents would be. You and me aren't that different, just because you try to care for everyone. I mean, to keep on topic here, you're fucking my boyfriend's dad. That's weird," Yoshi paused for a breath, and continued holding eye contact with Twix. If everything he said to his brother was sugar coated with rainbow backdrops they'd both know that Yoshi was lying through his teeth. Honesty was the best policy, especially because lying and acting took too much work. "I said it's weird, not disgusting." Yoshi said, finally.

Yoshi wasn't being nice, he never was and Twix wasn't expecting it. That didn't mean he wouldn't want some sympathy sometimes, or a little love from the other guy. But at the same time it sounded odd to be hearing something even remotely close to kind from Yoshi. Twix still felt pretty disgusting.

"Didn't you see them? How can I keep doing this to a family?" Twix sat up and wiped his eyes, "Granted their family is pretty messed up too. Castiel doesn't deserve him," he knew he was rambling, but what else could he say to Yoshi? The truth came out in a jumbled puzzle that wouldn't be impossible to piece together, just tedious. "Castiel is selfish, he's neglecting Dean and I'm giving him something he needs. I'm not… I'm not the bad guy… am I?" he looked at Yoshi again, "I need him, he understands me and he honestly thinks he needs me. He appreciates what I do…" Twix wanted to say 'unlike some people I know' but lashing out at the person trying to comfort you wasn't such a good idea.

Yoshi sighed and sat on the edge of Twix's bed. "I can tell that you're hung up on him, ok? And you have a couple of messed up reasons for it. You have a serious psychological problem, and your fixation on Snowe is creepy. But it's there, and if you fail you'd probably kill yourself, and when we were at the beach way back when, Dean stepped in and saved Snowe when you couldn't. There's one huge enduring fact. But Dean was acting as a protector, not a lover. He likes helping people, as weird as that is. And just because you don't remember it, doesn't mean that he's the first guy to tell you that he loves you. Mom and Dad must've said it a hundred times. And just because Snowe and I don't say it out loud, doesn't mean we don't." Yoshi knew he was avoiding the topic, and honestly, he had no idea if Twix was the bad guy here.

Twix wasn't sure if Yoshi was oblivious or avoiding the issue, and he especially wasn't sure if he was willing to just sit and listen to it or not. He wanted to say 'Dean stepped in to save Snowe when you fucked up.' He wanted to shout that if it weren't for himself, Snowe would be long dead by now. It wasn't a fixation; it was necessary to keep his brother alive. So many little things to tell Yoshi, 'I wouldn't have tried to screw him if I hadn't needed money. I wouldn't have been a whore on the street if you helped me. I wouldn't be so stressed out and sick in the head if you helped me!' But he couldn't say any of it. Why? Because his better judgment told him it wasn't worth the fight. Yoshi was trying to help him, why push him away?

"I don't know what to tell you. I mean, no, you're not the one with a wife-husband guy, and a son. But you're not oblivious to the fact that your boyfriend is a married man, twice your age. He's fucking with your head, dude. He makes you feel like it's you that fulfills him, that you're useful and meaningful to him and so you cling and you stay and you put up with the bullshit that he dishes out. You're a victim here, no doubt about it. But at the same time, because I know that you're not that stupid, it's your fault too." Yoshi watched Twix work through what he said, wondering if it would just piss him off or if a bit of his logical brother was still left in there.

More things he wanted to say but didn't, more aimed at Yoshi, more aimed at the lack of support or help he needed. 'There's no point in arguing with him, he really is trying to help.' Twix knew that he'd been so busy with Snowe all the time, sure Yoshi didn't help but that didn't mean Yoshi didn't need his help too. Both of them were weaker and less gifted than Twix as children, they needed him back then. He saved them more times than he could even remember at this point. 'Maybe I'll try apologizing once more,' he thought hopefully, maybe Yoshi would accept it this time. "Yoshi, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't ever give you what you needed. I wish… I could change what happened, but I can't."

"For fuck sake!" Yoshi boomed at him, the last straw metaphorically withering to dust. "THAT'S exactly what I'm talking about. Would you take one day, just one fucking day, and stop trying to give everyone else what they need? Take something for yourself! If you want something, go get it. If it hurts somebody else in the process, too fucking bad! You've done nothing but put yourself through dredges of shit all your life for the sake of other people. Other people who I might add never asked you to do it! I'm not stupid, I'm not younger than you, mom and dad never told you it was your martyrdom story to take care of us. They said nothing through gargles of blood and screams, ok? Would you get yourself some help already?"

In his hurt and tired state of mind, Twix was unable to stop himself when his fist came up and jammed itself in Yoshi's gut. Before his brother could back away, Twix gripped the black shirt he wore and held him in place. Twix leaned up, tears in his furious red eyes, and hissed, "You didn't get that close, you've never remembered that scene as well as I have. Dad grabbed my shoulder," Twix's hand firmly gripped his brother's shoulder in the same place he'd felt it so many years ago, leaning in just a little closer so Yoshi couldn't look away from those tortured eyes.

_Short, spikey silver hair matted by rain, slender trembling limbs soaked to the bone, fear gripping his heart, Twix bolted down the sidewalk. Just two blocks from their house, it happened; a freak accident creating a mangled-wreck out of what used to be their mini-van. His mother, father, and poor little Snowe still inside it. _

"_Daddy!" Twix screamed, his wide eyes still couldn't make sense of the scene in front of him. He didn't understand what happened, it was only the one vehicle involved yet it looked like a semi-truck hit it. "Mommy!" He was four years old, despite his better understanding of the world he was still more attached to his parents than his siblings. He never screamed for Snowe that night._

_He was faster than Yoshi; he was faster than most kids his age. His parents always said he was a prodigy, a genius, and gifted child. Even if his dark haired brother was following right away from the front door he wouldn't make it there as fast as Twix could. _

_A bloody figure crawled out from the over-turned vehicle; the strong shoulders suggested it was his father. "Daddy!" He cried as he closed in, the details of his dad's condition becoming more and more clear. Jagged wounds torn down through his flesh, blood seeping through his clothing from where a piece of the car jutted through his belly. _

"_Twix…" his rough voice gurgled through blood and saliva, "Twix, son come here…"_

_He didn't have to say it though; Twix was already rushing to his side, kneeling down before his father. A large, blood soaked hand took the four year old's shoulder, a deep red mark staining his clothing. _

"And he said; 'You're in charge of taking care of your brothers.'" Twix let go of Yoshi and bit his bottom lip, "But you're right, I'm going to get what I want for once. I'll get help." He wiped his eyes and bowed his head to his brother he knew must still be stunned from the punch, "So Yoshi I'm asking you, please help me."

Yoshi looked Twix up and down, surveying what he had to work with. "If I'm going to help you –and believe me, I want to –you need to listen to me. We're both adults now, Twix. I'm not a little kid anymore. If we can't move this broken sibling relationship to a functioning friendship, it'll never work." Yoshi sighed again, not sure if Twix was even capable of it, of letting go and moving forward. Yoshi's voice dropped lower, the anger that welled up in him dwindling away. "Don't think that I don't see it, the way you blame me. Everything I say to you is as good as garbage because you take it all and dwell on what I've said and done in the past... or what I didn't say or didn't do. I wasn't perfect, but if dad asked you to take care of both of us, you failed. We're not close, and we can hardly be called brothers, beyond the literal biological sense. I want to help you because you're sick and you're hurting and whether you admit it or not, you're killing yourself. I love you, Twix, but don't mistake that for us being close. Now get up and have a hot shower, I'll get us something to eat –we're going to be up for a while, hope you're up for talking."

Twix nodded, sitting and listening quietly to his brother. "Thank you, Yoshi. You're entirely right." He leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Yoshi in a hug, "I failed to keep you healthy and I wasn't a good brother at all. I know I wasn't perfect," Twix's hug was far from 'I'm comforting you' and all the condescending feelings that came with that mentality. He clung to his brother for the sake of his mental stability, hoping Yoshi could keep him afloat this time. "I really want to fix this, I love you too Yoshi."

Twix leaned back and smiled, "I'm willing to stay up as long as you are," he was excited to learn new things about his brother and show what he already did know. A way to prove that he wasn't ignoring Yoshi.

* * *

><p>The house was virtually empty, while Dean and Cas left with Tommy for their dinner, Sam and everyone else decided to celebrate the homecoming of the band as well. They went out to do so, however Snowe had begged Charlie to stay back with him. He didn't feel right celebrating, not when Twix was so distraught.<p>

Charlie had been stoked, to be seen in public with one of the world-over's most popular band right after their huge tour. It'd be great, there would probably be cameras and everything –he might even get some screen time to offer commentary because the others were sick of the paparazzi. They'd get dressed up and hit the town, probably even relive old stories like going out for karaoke, since Cas' unfair advantage was no longer present. It was going to be a blast –but that look on Snowe's face told Charlie otherwise; the soft pleading in his tone begged him to stay more than the boy's words did, and Charlie knew the right choice was to stay.

"Have one for me dad," Charlie parted with his parents. "And yes I'm sure I want to hang back here. You guys are all old anyhow, it wouldn't be that fun."

Sam knew his son better than most would have guessed, he knew what Charlie was really thinking; 'That sounds like so much fun' followed by a quick reprimand from his downstairs brain. "Sure thing, Charlie. I'll bring you back a doggy bag or something." He joked as he strolled out of the house, Bella on his arm. There was nothing wrong with aging, or so he kept telling Dean anyway.

The moment they were alone Snowe took a firm grip of his boyfriend's arm, fingers nearly digging in. Something was wrong with his eyes as their gaze shifted up, a twisted smile on that usually adorable face. "I'm glad you stayed," his voice was distorted for a moment but shifted back to normal.

Charlie winced for a moment as Snowe's short fingernails drew small lines of blood from his arm. Charlie's brow furrowed in confusion for a moment as he tried to summarize what just happened. Something about Snowe seemed wrong, like he was twisted on the inside, another voice shadowing his own. It was only for a moment, so Charlie couldn't be sure but it was just so... haunting. "Yeah, that's no problem. I know you're upset about your brother, and I'm sure he's fine. I wouldn't leave you alone like this, you know that." Charlie smiled fondly at the smaller male. Snowe really was adorable, with his soft little chipmunk-esque cheeks and unbelievably large eyes. Whatever that was before was some weird trick of the senses, must've been.

A second glance at Snowe's face revealed him to look normal, as cute and oblivious as always. "I just wanted…" He trailed off. Snowe's grip was loose again, fingers trailing down Charlie's arm to his waist, hooking his thumbs into the fabric, "…to be alone with you." His words were breathy as he pressed himself against the much larger male.

That certainly wasn't how Charlie had expected to be comforting his boyfriend, but he wasn't really going to argue. Charlie leaned into Snowe's touch, wrapping his arms around the smaller boy's slender frame. "Whatever you want, I'm here for you."

"I've got a treat for you." Snowe looked up excitedly, "I left it in a bag outside, let me go get it." Snowe padded across the room to retrieve his bag, hidden in the bushes outside the house.

"Ah, alright." I am never going to get used to his ADD behaviour, I swear. On the bright side, his excitable and curious nature made him a ton of fun in bed. Charlie just smirked at the last thought, waiting for Snowe to return, hallmarked by his rapid padded footsteps.

As the small teen returned, a plastic bag in his grip, he shuffled to pull the items from it. "Come closer and close your eyes, hands behind your back."

'Speak of the devil,' Charlie smirked again, obliging Snowe's requests and closing his eyes. "You know coming closer is difficult when I can't see where I'm going," Charlie joked while cautiously stepping forward before turning and clasping his hands behind his back. "Alright, I'm ready for your little surprise."

Snowe stepped behind him and bound his wrists in a swift motion. "We're playing my way, now." He smirked and peered up at Charlie's expression, his tone of voice more confident and stern than Snowe would normally take.

Charlie's eyes widened perceptibly as he felt his wrists pulled tight together. 'Was that twine?' The strong thin material was pulled tight with no wiggle room, and the slightest movement left little cuts in Charlie's skin. 'Hell, that's gotta be piano wire or something.' Charlie stubbornly twisted his wrists again to confirm, and regretted his curious nature soon after.

Charlie's voice wavered with a thin edge of concern, "So how do you want to play, Snowe?" His curiosity would once more be a damnable thing in the next few hours.

Snowe had remained eerily quiet until that last question, his soft hands spinning Charlie around to face him again, that strange grin in place again. "How do you think, sweetheart?" He leaned in and kissed his boyfriend harshly on the lips, biting down onto the soft flesh of his partner, tasting the blood happily.

With an incredible strength that was impossible for his size, Snowe pushed the larger male onto the couch. "Keep struggling, it's more fun." He hissed with a giggle, playing rough hadn't occurred between them before and it could be possible that he was just acting, but something about Snowe now was definitely off-putting.

The hours that followed, while everyone was away, were the most painful yet pleasing hours of Charlie's life.

Sam walked in the door, laughing with the others about some nonsensical story when he spotted the two boys in the living room. Snowe had wrapped up in a blanket with Charlie on the couch; sound asleep. Sam smiled and snuck closer to them, peering down at his slumbering son's face. It was then that he noticed some blood, 'Kinky sex? Doesn't get that from me…' Sam thought awkwardly, stepping away slowly.

* * *

><p>Twix didn't bother looking at his phone over the next week or so; he'd let Dean decide whom he wanted to be with. If Dean wanted to see him again he could come by Twix's home. All he wanted to feel loved and he'd be damned if he did all the chasing in this affair.<p>

As the weeks passed Castiel seemed more himself, calmer and with a bit of energy. Dean could still see the fear in his eyes, but Cas did his best to keep it in check. Dean didn't mind the clinging –in all honesty, he loved it. Cas stayed with him constantly, glued at the hip. It was nice to have Cas back, to have Cas realize what he'd been ignoring and just how much he needed Dean. But that only served as a reminder for the other person in Dean's life who desperately needed him, that other person, who had been suspiciously absent and without cell phone for weeks.

Cas was out with Tommy, spending quality time together, since Tommy hadn't had much time with his mother since the tour wrapped up, what with Castiel stuck to Dean's side. Dean had made a fuss about not going, being disowned from the family, and they laughed it off for the joke it was. A hug and a kiss goodbye, and Dean was in his car driving down to Twix's house.

Dean parked up the block, like he usually did, and high tailed it down to Twix's bedroom window outside the house. He knocked on the glass and waited, knowing Twix wouldn't be anywhere else.

Twix heard the knocking loud and clear, a skip in his chest had him out of bed faster than his mind wanted him to be. He strode across to his window and opened it, relieved to see Dean's face.

"Twix, where have you been? I tried your phone, but it's not on." Dean knew it sounded lame, knew that he avoided the topic, the reason why Twix had been ignoring him. Dean wasn't 100% on the details, but it had to do with him, and it had to do with Cas, so he suspected some sort of jealousy.

Twix bit his bottom lip and averted his eyes. He'd been sort of cheered up by Yoshi the other day but that wasn't enough to slow the heartache. "I've been here…" He muttered and glanced up again, "I… thought since… The way you were with Castiel that day, and how I know you are, maybe you just wanted to forget this ever happened. You're a good man, you love your family and I know this must be killing you." Twix didn't want to let Dean go, he never wanted to let go but he would humbly step down if he had to. If Dean wanted him to.

"If you know how I am, then you know that when I tell you that I love you I'm not just blowing smoke. And then you'd also know that if I love a person, I'm not going to just up and disappear on them. Your statement's are contradictory." Dean wasn't touching the last part with a 39 ½ foot pole. With Castiel back and hurt and needing him, with Tommy finally dropping social activities and the 'coolness' of high school and wanting to spend time with the family, Dean wanted nothing more than to stay home and not acknowledge that he was tearing his own family apart. The people he loved most in his life didn't even know that he was the black stain in the room.

Twix wasn't sure what he could say to that; while what Dean said was true it was also true that Dean loved his family. Dean would never hurt the ones he loves, so what he is currently doing is contradictory to who he is. But Twix knew better than to say that out loud. "I do really want you, I still need you." Twix did his best to sound stronger than he felt, "I don't want to get in the way."

"Twix, you don't seem to understand that you're a human being. You have no fewer rights than the next person and you're no less entitled to being happy than anyone else. You're not some kind of lesser, sub-human, person." Dean kissed Twix on the check and ruffled his hair. He didn't want to hurt him; he'd dragged Twix into this with the best intentions. The boy had been killing himself, inside and out. He was selling his body, wasting his brilliant mind, and destroying his sense of self and worth. Dean had put a stop to that; he knew he was the one to accomplish it single handedly. Twix felt loved, and despite his current complex, had more pride in himself. He stood up straight, spoke with confidence, and stopped using his body to attract attention. He was better off for his time with Dean; so then why did Dean feel so damn awful about it? Not only did he feel guilty over his family, but also he felt like he owed Twix just as much of an apology.

"Yoshi was saying something to that extent a little while ago," Twix reflected, "And I'm starting to agree with it, but I'm having a hard time seeing it your way. When everyone in the world is so rigid and so unwilling to give anything up for the greater outcome, who else is going to but me? I can see what needs to be done and I can see that in a flurry of possibilities and uncertainties what must be done and what is done are two very different things. Someone needs to sacrifice something, it just turns out that I'm usually the only one willing or able to do it." He always got a little philosophical with Dean around, he wasn't sure why.

"You know I love you, right? I don't know if I tell you that often enough. I just wanted to let you know that I'm sorry for making you feel like this. I understand that you didn't fully comprehend a secret relationship when you agreed to it. How can I make this better for you?"

"You say it more than I'm used to already," Twix smiled, "I love you too, Dean." He kissed the man's cheek softly and rested his elbows on the windowsill. "I'm alright now, I just wanted you to chase me a little bit. I didn't fully comprehend it but I got the gist of it. I just hadn't expected to feel so hurt when I saw you two together." He sighed and dropped his head into his hands, "I was lulled into a false reality, where you and I could see each other more often and everything worked out great. Guess that can't really happen though."

"Honestly? Not really. Everyone in this town knows the celebrity family. Whenever we go out, we go to a different town, or somewhere out of the way. We saw a lot of each other these past few months, with Castiel out on the road..." Dean's eyes grew a little shallow on the thought of Castiel, lost in thought for a moment before refocusing on Twix. "Cas is really sick, and I don't want to leave him alone. You might not see much of me for the next while, but that doesn't meant that you can't still come over with your brothers and be around me. Unless that's too hard for you." Dean wasn't sure what Twix preferred, and despite outright asking him, he didn't receive a direct answer, not one that he could follow through on. There was no way to see Twix all the time; it was suspicious enough as it was.

Twix sighed, "You know you could have left it at 'I don't know' or something. You have a real knack for taking down my mood." He straightened up and stepped away from the window, arms crossing over himself, "I don't want to be around you when Castiel's there, when I know that you'll act completely differently toward me. I can't take it."

Dean nodded, and Twix's request made sense –when Cas was around and paying attention to Dean he didn't want anything in the world other than that moment. Castiel had always been the love of Dean's life, the soul and excitement and finally having him back was only serving to remind Dean that what he was doing here was a mistake. 'No, its not,' Dean's mind would vehemently argue, 'this is justified, and Cas' needy state won't last. Twix needs me, and I love him.'

Twix looked up at Dean sadly, "But I suppose beggars can't be choosers. I'll be okay, you can go home now, if you wanted to."

"You're still pulling the 'I want him to chase me' card, and you're not very good at hiding it. Move over, I'm coming in for a while." Dean hopped the window sill, trying to make it look easy, like it was no big deal, but sometimes age catches up, and Dean was grateful that the awkward angle didn't result in him pulling anything. "So what did you want to do? The afternoon's all yours." Dean tried not to let on that he had places to be, that he probably shouldn't be here now in midday, but Twix needed some kind of reassurance, and this was the best that Dean could do at the moment.

Twix wasn't blind nor was he an idiot. He knew what Dean was doing but he chose to ignore the obvious black clouds behind his fake silver lining, he was happy right now and for the moment that's all that he wanted. "It's okay, Dean." Twix sounded as sure as he could after a week of insecurities, "I know you can't stay, it's suspicious and really a bad idea. All I wanted was for you to come over and talk to me instead of a phone call." He wrapped his arms around the older man and rested his head against Dean's shoulder, "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Dean sighed and wrapped his arms around Twix, pulling the boy a little bit closer. "Although it is a little silly –I mean, I'm the reason that you have a phone in the first place. But I understand that there's a certain something about seeing someone in person."

Twix smiled and nodded, glad Dean understood that much. He stepped back and pointed at the window, "But you should really go, I'd like to keep seeing you without the suspicious stares." He smiled reassuringly, "And yes, I'm fine."

"If you say so," Dean didn't believe for a second that Twix could be 'fine' after a two-minute conversation. Dean knew better from _years_ of marriage that _no one _was 'fine' after a fight or blow out and a two-minute reconciliation. But if that's what Twix wanted him to believe, Dean would leave well enough alone. Twix was young –he was entitled to his own mistakes.

"I'll see you around," Dean pulled himself out the window after checking to see if the coast was clear and trotted back to the side walk and eventually up the street to his car and home.

Twix sighed as he watched Dean's retreating back, resting his elbows on the windowsill and his head in his hands. "I love you…" He whispered and straightened up again, heading out of his room. He'd need a job; otherwise he might actually lose his mind from boredom. Then again… Snowe was still around; chances were pretty good he'd keep Twix busy.


	27. Chapter 27

**Author's Note:**

**Since it's been so long since I had updated before, I'm posting two chapters now :) This one's a little shorter but hey, just another two chapters and we're done. Chapter 29 is almost finished, 28 is done too but I'm not putting three up on the same day XD**

"Good morning, beautiful," Dean passed by Cas in the kitchen, kissing him softly on the cheek as he went. "So what's for breakfast?" It had been a full five months since Castiel's return, and after the first two weeks of comforting him and silencing his guilt, Dean had picked up a fairly good balancing act between his wife and lover.

Cas smiled, a light blush on his cheeks came and went rather quickly, mentally scolding himself for acting like kid. It'd already been a while since he came home; the new should have worn off. And yet he still felt incredibly good when Dean showed him affection, as if the pain in him was washed away, little by little each time Dean did something for him. "Morning," he continued to stir the contents of a large bowl in his arms, something that he still found more difficult now than a year ago. "Waffles are for breakfast baby, so get your toppings ready."

"Waffles? Hell yes!" Tommy exclaimed passionately as he dropped into his seat, "Bring on the carbs because I'm totally not fat enough!"

Cas rolled his eyes, "Tommy, you're a scrawny thing. I don't think you need to worry about it."

Tommy smirked and shrugged, still waiting excitedly for his breakfast.

Dean sat at the table, looking over at Cas, "So I made some plans today with a friend of mine, and I'll be back sometime tomorrow. We're heading to the town over to catch the football game." Dean knew Cas hated sports, most theatrical-musical people usually did. "We'll be out drinking late and then crashing at a motel. I'll be back in time for lunch tomorrow, I promise."

Dean's better judgment told him he was stupid, that this was a bad idea and he shouldn't do it. But these plans with Twix were so long in the making, and he just deserved that something special, whether Cas was around or not. Dean squashed the feeling that Cas might be on to something, that he didn't fully trust him, because there was no reason for Cas not to trust him, and over doing the lie would only make him look more suspicious.

Castiel and Tommy exchanged glances, neither sure of how to put what they both wanted to say. "Uh, dad?" Tommy spoke first, "You don't have any other friends…"

"What?" Dean felt momentarily insulted, as though he hadn't been lying a second ago, as though his made up friend should be insulted for people's disbelief in his existence.

Cas cleared his throat to cover up Tommy's statement the best he could, "What your son means is; have we met this friend? And if not, why?" Cas winked at Tommy with the eye that Dean couldn't see from his angle, "And yes, Dean, you can go. I won't get mad."

"An old friend, been talking to him on that facebook-thing. We used to talk cars in high school, and sports." Dean lied through his teeth. It was normally impossible, and incredibly difficult for him to tell a good lie –at least, when he knew he was figured out. But he needed this, it was important to get out of the house today, and Dean just prayed that they bought it.

Tommy shrugged and glanced at Dean oddly; his dad had been disappearing at night every so often. He knew this well because he'd almost been caught doing the same just about every time. Tommy hadn't bothered to follow his dad; he was usually already late to go hang out with Yoshi and couldn't afford any distractions. But if there were a game on, wouldn't Jo have brought it up? She was one of the sports nuts in their house. Tommy tried to let it go though it nagged at the back of his mind. Not to mention the way Charlie had been acting.

That afternoon Dean pulled off the yard in his prized possession: the '67 Impala that was still in great condition –due to years of teleporting instead of driving, an infinite supply of cash for repairs, and all the time in the world to repair it. Dean had packed a nice suit along with his spare clothes, in the suitcase in the trunk. He pulled up down the street from Twix's house, hoping Twix was the only one home and more importantly that Tommy wasn't over. Skulking outside the house, Dean knocked three times on Twix's window and waited.

Twix sat quietly in his room, a book propped up in one hand and the other scribbling down several items on a to-do list. Neither task had anything to do with the other yet he did them simultaneously, both almost perfect. He tried his hardest to keep his mind off the date, yes plans had been made, yes he wanted them to be true. But this was all assuming Dean could get out of the house without alerting anyone. Twix didn't have that kind of good luck, so he waited patiently for what he thought would be an inevitable disappointment.

_Knock knock knock._

Twix's eyes lit up at the sound coming from outside his window, his pen fell to the floor and he nearly threw his book down. The window was open in an instant.

"Hey, happy anniversary," Dean beamed from outside Twix's window, handing him a bouquet of roses complete with a card and box of chocolate. "Come on, I have reservations for us at the hotel, we'll miss our check in if we wait too long." Dean leaned in the window and kissed Twix, pulling him close and holding him in place for a moment.

Twix's heart pounded, he'd heard the plans, the ideas, yet he never thought them possible. He was going on a for real date with Dean, a get away to a hotel. Just the two of them, no worries about secrets. Twix gave an enthusiastic nod and clung dearly to his lover, "I'm so happy to see you, happy anniversary." He whispered softly.

"And bring something nice to wear, we're going out for dinner," Dean smiled again before backing away from the window. "I'm parked just down the street, don't make me wait too long."

"Of course," Twix winked at him, "I may even beat you to the car." He watched Dean's retreating back, sneaking as he was. He nearly squealed for joy when he turned around, he was going out to dinner with Dean! The best clothing he owned placed in a bag along with a change just in case things got messy. He smiled warmly at what he packed, he warned Yoshi that he may leave some time that day and knew he didn't have to make up a lie. The underlying request was, of course, 'take care of Snowe'.

Twix hopped out the window and bolted down the street, his long, slender legs carrying swiftly, elegantly with each stride. He bounded to the Impala and threw himself inside, "Let's go." He beamed excitedly, ready for his first date.

"Hey there!" Dean laughed at Twix's enthusiasm –he'd never known the young man to be so... excitable. "Don't get too excited or you'll wear yourself out before we head to bed." Dean leaned over and kissed Twix on the cheek, playfully missing his lips before genuinely kissing him.

"Yeah right," Twix smirked, enjoying the playfulness. "I have more energy when I'm sleeping than you do when you're awake." He snickered, leaning against his lover.

"Let's go," everyone in town knew Dean and Castiel Winchester, this much Dean knew. He wasn't lying to Cas about the town over part –he and Twix would have to, in order to ensure no one started talking. Dean didn't want to explain the details to Twix –it just sounded very un-romantic. Then again, he probably didn't need to explain. The day ahead of them held a wonderful dinner at a very high-end restaurant –just for Twix; a drive-in movie and a fantastic hotel suite, complete with champagne, a gift basket, and a little present for Twix.

* * *

><p>Charlie sat quietly on the couch at home, watching television, watching his housemates, and generally watching the world drift by. He kept on his long-sleeve shirt, despite the fact that it was the end of summer and plainly just too warm outside, despite the fact that a young man of his age and build would usually be shirtless and showing off. Charlie scratched at his wrists absently, and winced in pain before pulling his hand back. The red rings around his wrists seemed like permanent markings, as natural as a birthmark. Just like the whip marks on his back or the burns on his thighs.<p>

Charlie looked up briefly at Sam, who seemed to watch him more closely as of late. Probably the change in behaviour, the seclusion and disinterest. Charlie looked away nervously, "I'm going to give Snowe a call, see if he'll come over and hang out." Charlie rose quickly from the couch, hoping to get out of the room before the questions began.

Sam stood just as abruptly, "Charlie," his voice was concerned but at the same time authoritative. He had two theories, either physical abuse or substance abuse. "Come here." Sam of course walked to his son's side and caught his shoulder, turning him around. "What's gotten into you?"

Sam wasn't blind or retarded; he'd seen the slow regression clear as day. Charlie had graduated with the others, top of the class as usual, but his marks weren't what they could have been. They had slipped, and that was a few months back already. "Tell me what's wrong, I can help." Sam was starting to get a little annoyed with all these people trying to do things on their own. Dean and Castiel were having problems, either together or separately or about the other person but they were having issues. Then of course there was Charlie, now hiding in his own skin.

"It's what I'm here for, talk to me, please!"

Charlie wrenched his arm away from Sam, "Nothing's wrong dad! I'm not hiding anything... and besides, I can take care of myself. I don't need you hovering over me, it's nothing I can't handle..." Charlie froze mid-tantrum. He'd just admitted that there was something, no more 'if's or 'maybe's, and Sam wouldn't have missed that.

"Just, leave me alone, ok?" Charlie looked sadder than he realized, he didn't want to push Sam away, he desperately wanted his father's help –_needed_, his father's protection. He wanted to cry, but he knew that looked weak. Charlie remembered when the threats started, _if you tell anyone_, and telling Sam would do more harm than good. "I'll be fine." Charlie bolted from the house.

"CHARLIE!" Sam shouted after his son but didn't move to follow. Teenagers would do what teenagers did; Sam knew that better than most. If his dad had followed him every time he ran off one of them wouldn't have made it this far in life. "Talk to me, I'll be here!" He had a loud voice, he knew Charlie could hear him.

Charlie could hear his dad behind him; hear the anguish in his shouts, that he couldn't help Charlie as much as he wanted to. He didn't have a clue what was going on, there was no way he could understand. And even if he did, what could he possibly do about a super powered, sadistic teenage boy? One such boy who Charlie knew he shouldn't be running _to_, but rather _away_.

Charlie hopped up the front step to the triplet's residence and knocked on the door. He needed to see Snowe, maybe ask him to stop –confront him about it. He just seemed so adorably oblivious to all the pain he was inflicting, like it wasn't him who was doing it. But life was nothing but constant pain with the lasting scars, and the lying to his father. It had to stop.

Snowe opened the front door, eyes brightening at the sight of his boyfriend. "Charlie!" He squealed joyfully, throwing his arms around the much larger teen. "I'm so glad to see you!" He looked up smiling and glanced back into the house, "Yoshi's home, did you want to come to my room?"

"Hey Snowe," Charlie said nervously, his mind racing at the final question. "We don't have to go to your room, the couch is fine. Really..." Charlie could feel his resolve melting away as Snowe took his arm, all the mental buffing he'd went through on the run over here, the determination to end it. Snowe was far too cute when he wasn't being far too cruel. Maybe it wasn't Snowe's fault, maybe Snowe just needed help.

Regardless of the answer Snowe pulled Charlie through the house and closed the doors behind them. "What did you come over for?" His cute little smile widened and broke like it had been doing lately, "Haven't had enough yet, hm? Humans are such gluttons for punishment." A few odd shifts of his neck produced sickening cracks as Snowe stepped forward, his small hands gripping old bruises on Charlie's skin.

"Oh no, please no. That's not why I came Snowe, really," Charlie winced at the tightening grip on his arm. He'd always been healthy, always been active and fit but for some reason the bruises Snowe left on his body took longer to heal than the other injuries, cuts would remain open and fester, requiring constant surveillance and nursing; not to mention that they always left scars even when they closed. "Wait, what was that about humans?"

Snowe giggled freakishly, "Don't be so stubborn, I know you like it." His fingers pressed harder, feeling Charlie's flesh give a little, "And the human thing… well if you haven't figured it out yet then I'm better at this than I thought."

"I don't mind giving you this, it's fun for me either way." His voice was distorted as he spoke, fingers digging into Charlie and drawing blood. Today his patience was running low, "Do you know why I'm doing this?" He started to speak less like Snowe, the young boy's voice almost dissipating from the sounds coming from his throat.

'_This isn't Snowe, there's no way_,' Charlie's face drained quickly, paling to sheet-white. "Who are you? What are you?" He was trembling, fused in place by fear and Snowe's painfully –inhumanly- tight grip.

"I'm tired of waiting. I've grown impatient waiting for that _fucking_ nephelim's grace to break. It's been almost a year and it's so close. One more time should do it," Snowe's grin widened further, his eyes distorting as much as his tone. "Just one more time with that fucking brother. I didn't know how much fun it was destroying someone by doing so little to cause it, Twix was such an easy target."

For Charlie the words were gibberish but Snowe didn't care. He pulled his fingers from Charlie's flesh and swiftly produced rope, tying his boyfriend down promptly. "But you, you're just adorable. Chasing after a little kid like this? You horny little shit; you'll fuck anything you can fit your dick into. Or possibly even something you can't, little Snowe here was a gamble on that one."

"What are you talking about? Snowe, talk to me, what's going on?" Charlie tried to pull away, but the ropes held him tight. "Snowe, please don't do this. I don't want to do this..." But his adorable little boyfriend wasn't listening, it's like Snowe wasn't even there –a stranger in his skin. And this stranger liked to talk, and liked to _hurt_ others. "Please..." Charlie whispered, terrified and barely audible. "Don't do this again, make it stop."

"Shut up!" Snowe bellowed, his voice shaking the room, "Snowe isn't home at the moment but I'd be glad to take a message!" Pitch black eyes widened awkwardly as he giggled disturbingly, breaking out into a full on laugh as he slowly lifted a short switchblade from under his mattress. He leaned in close and licked Charlie's cheek, pressing the blade against the teen's arm ever so gently, sliding it up and down in a sawing motion. Not meaning to cut anything off, just slowly leave a deep gash.

"Oh and don't worry about screaming, I sealed my room off today. No one can hear us in here."

Charlie swore if he made it out of this alive, this was the last time he was coming back here. He promised to whoever would hear, that when he got home he'd tell Sam everything. He'd beg his dad for help if he had to. He'd be better; he'd get better –if only he made it out alive.

* * *

><p>Castiel stood in their room, his and Dean's. He could feel a strong, painful thump in his chest. The wall Balthazar had made was strong, very strong, and yet whatever was torturing his grace had gotten so much worse. Not that it bothered him; he could never feel it aside from a few random tremors once every few days. But every time it hit him he was always alone, never with Dean. The pain only ever happened when Dean wasn't with him, when he left for some phantom reason or another. He could feel the slow, distant pound whenever he anticipated Dean's leaving.<p>

Today was no different. Dean told him that morning and sure enough he felt the light vibrations about an hour before Dean walked away and now the strong, painful throbs after he was gone. Castiel knew it was only going to last for a bit until Balthazar's wall strengthened itself, he couldn't wait until the pain faded.

'_The thing that's hurting is my grace; Balthazar said it was connected to Dean somehow. It's trying to tell me something. Every time it hurts it's trying to tell me something.'_ Cas shook his head and ran a hand through his hair, black locks falling back against his forehead and sticking with the aid of the sweat beading there. The pain subsided suddenly as the angelic barrier pushed it back again, and Castiel could breathe a little easier.

His eyes darted to the alarm clock, it was pretty late already. _'I don't care how drunk he is, I want to see him.'_ Cas decided and darted down the hall to Gabriel's room; while he knew Balthazar would help him too Gabriel was less likely to say 'you shouldn't go there'. "Gabriel?" Cas poked his head into his friend's room, not caring whether he saw something or not, "Do you think you could take me to see Dean? I… I'd really like to see him."

Gabriel unfurled his giant fluffy blanket and poked his bedhead up from behind the mass of fabric, "Dean? Yeah, sure I can take you there. You feeling ok buddy?" Gabriel slipped out of bed into his fuzzy lollipop slippers. He grabbed a housecoat and shuffled over to Cas' side, placing a hand on his shoulder. "We'll be there in a jiffy, don't you worry."

"Thank you, Gabriel." Cas smiled with relief, "And yes, I'll be okay."


	28. Chapter 28

**Author's Note****: **

**Okay it's almost done, this chapter and then one more and we're all finished up here I think. ... Or a small epilogue, but in either case those of you who have begun to hate the story can get over it lol and those who still like it and are reading til the end will finally get their conclusion lol Hope you enjoy this segment, stuff starts to fall together/apart all at once now, doesn't it? XD**

Dean almost missed the telltale fluttering sound, buried deep inside Twix, riding the young man into the bed. He would've almost missed the small fluttering of loose paper that accompanied their arrival while marveling at just how hot and tight Twix was wrapped around his cock; if it weren't for the heavy-handed throb that wracked his chest at the realization of what that meant.

Castiel's eyes slowly widened, the shock and horror settling into his gut like a lead balloon. Full, plump lips drying out from the stale air in the room, his throat closed up leaving him unable to take a breath. The sight before him stole his strength entirely, his knees threatened to buckle in an instant except his pride held him fast upright.

Twix felt the hesitation more than he heard the fluttering sounds of Gabriel's wings. His red eyes opening lazily, sweat slipping down his cheek as he stared up at Dean's quickly whitening face. "Dean?" He whispered before his peripheral vision caught sight of something that scared him more than he'd admit.

Castiel could feel the pressure on his chest, on his grace, and behind his eyes. "Dean," His voice shook as his icy blue stare grew colder. "Dean you… You son of a bitch." Tears flowed down his jaw and along the creases of his neck. His tone a mix of anger and betrayal, hatred and an anguished love that was being wrung out.

Dean quickly lifted off of Twix, wrapping the sheet around them both, and facing the wrath of his wife. The well-deserved and overdue wrath. Castiel's voice was as cold as his stare, yet on fire with emotion, a raging torrent of things the Dean knew he couldn't quite voice right now.

"How _**dare**_ you! How could you…" Cas' scream shifted into a sob, his hands coming up to cover his mouth. He turned toward his long friend and gripped his shoulder, "Take me home, Gabriel. Please, take me home now."

"Sure thing," Gabriel answered quickly, grabbing Cas and vanishing from sight.

"Cas, please!" Dean tried the quickest protest, the largest obstacle was getting Cas to stay for more than two seconds, but Cas was already long gone. "Damn it!" Dean cursed, bringing his palms up to his face and rubbing his eyes. _Busted_. The sneaking and hiding stage was over, and now it was time for choices. And suddenly with no time left, and nowhere to go, with not the slightest chance for forgiveness or redemption; Dean desperately wanted to be at home. With his son, and with his wife –_with__**Cas**_. The beautiful man who dragged him out onto the dance floor, who hypnotized him with those perfect blue eyes and seductive, slender hips. The angel who saved his life and gave him his only son. The wonderful man who loved him more than anything, and who Dean knew he loved more than anyone.

Twix watched the emotions flood over Dean's expression, the ones he knew would be there and the ones he knew he shouldn't have ignored. He knew Dean well enough by now; his family came first. Twix was not family. He didn't bother to fix his matted hair other than give his head a shake, trying to shake away the painful throbs crawling up his chest and ravaging his ribcage. Their one-year anniversary was the same day they were caught. He should have guessed.

Twix was well aware of what was going to happen next, Dean would take him home and never see him again. Force him away and out of his life, like Twix's feelings were a thing that could be summed up as childish and inexperienced.

"Come on, let's get you home," Dean pulled himself from the bed, head hung low and mind racing with impossible plans to get Cas back. The first step was getting Twix out of his life, and that in itself was hard enough. Twix deserved better, and that was exactly what Dean was going to tell him, go find better than all this.

"You're a liar." Twix found himself saying, "You're going to just leave me, aren't you? You'll spout some garbage of 'it's better for me' or something and you'll leave. You can't do that to me after all of this! Why would you say all of those things to me if in the end they weren't true!" Twix punched him as hard as he could in the jaw, not even wincing at the pain shooting through his hand.

Dean hardly reeled from the blow, hadn't moved to block or brace for it either. He deserved it, from Twix, from Tommy, from Cas; from his brother, and his friends –hell, everyone should line up to take a swing. But that was the problem, wasn't it? His own self-pity and guilt trip. Never having enough time with Cas, never getting enough attention when he wanted it. "Twix, just believe me, ok? I don't ask much of you, and I know I messed up. I know I hurt you, and I'm the one who should've known better, who should've drawn the line. I wanted to help you, and when we first started seeing each other, it was because I saw a lot of myself in you. You're lonely, and you've done it to yourself. I know, it's what I did; it's what I've done and continued to do. I love you, but loving you isn't enough to create a paradise, and loving one person doesn't mean that I'm not able to feel love for others as well. I didn't lie, I do love you –but this will never work. I can't hide from it or deny it anymore, and I probably figured it out a long time ago. And even if Cas never takes me back, this is still over between us. I'm not giving you any false hope anymore."

Twix was more than furious, more than hurt; but he had no idea what to do with it. He shook his head, "You're a _liar_. Why would I believe you again? You never loved me, it's just some sick twisted messed up game to you! You figured t out a long time ago! And still did this with me! You knew from the very beginning what I was doing, what I was feeling and, more than that, you knew how you felt. _No one ever said to give me false hope and I never asked for it._" He wanted to lash out again but he didn't have the strength in him for another punch like the last one.

"Take me home." He demanded as he stood up, pulling his clothes on to hide himself. "Unlike you I never lied, I loved you Dean and I'll do this last thing for you. You never have to see me again after today." Twix stepped to the door and placed a trembling hand on the doorknob, barely glancing over his shoulder at Dean. "Happy anniversary." He muttered as he walked out, not bothering to wait.

Dean nodded and replied, despite the bitter and possibly sarcastic tone, "Happy anniversary." He grabbed his things and packed his bag, finding his gift for Twix and realizing just how stupid he'd been. Why would he have bought this for Twix? Was he trying to lie to him? To string him along? In this situation, with the way their relationship had been going, buying Twix a ring would only be taken one way, and Dean knew that's never what he intended from this.

* * *

><p>"Thank you, Gabriel." Castiel squeaked as he quickly hurried to his room.<p>

"Yeah, no problem." Gabriel wanted to say more, wanted to do more –be a good friend, like he'd tried to be. But Cas was off and up the stairs in the blink of an eye. The household wouldn't miss this drama.

Tears still flooded his eyes and ran down his face like rain, and he shamelessly let them. He wanted scream, cry, shout and curse but who was to blame for all of this? Who started it and who should have ended it? "BUT I'M SO MAD!" He shrieked as he slammed the door behind him, loud enough to wake the entire household.

Tommy flinched as he crawled in his window, it'd take a real moron to miss that. "Mom?" He called down the hall, not sure if he dared get closer to such a temper tantrum. Tommy snuck to his parents' door and listened cautiously. His eyes widened when the sounds of his mother's sobs reached him, "Mom?" He said louder, slowly opening the door. "What happened?"

Cas was throwing things into a suitcase and letting his emotions as he did so, stuffing everything inside and attempting to close it. He groaned, frustrated, pathetically slammed it shut several times and watched it pop back open. With a violent cry he threw the suitcase against the wall and collapsed into a wailing heap on the floor.

Tommy slowly stepped over to the suitcase and packed it properly, clicking it shut and placing it down next to Castiel's shaking form. "Mom," he whispered, kneeling down and touching the soft black hair. "Mom, talk to me."

Cas squirmed up and clung to his son, the gift that Dean had given him so many years ago. "Tommy," he mumbled almost incoherently, his long slender fingers gripping the boy's shirt and holding him close.

Sam stepped into the doorway and felt a weight on his chest, watching part of his family collapse on the floor. _'What the hell, Dean?'_ He thought angrily, not being able to take his eyes away from Tommy and Castiel.

"Mom, what happened?" Tommy tried asking again when Castiel's crying had slowed.

"Your dad's fucking someone else, that's what." Cas spat angrily, sitting up again.

Tommy's shock looked similar to Castiel's, mouth agape and halted breathing, "He…. He what? I mean, I heard you but… Dad? Who was he-"

"Twix, he was fucking Twix when I walked in." Cas' expression was a jumble of things, pained was a strong one.

Tommy blinked, his cheeks flushing red with an anger he couldn't quite place. His father? A man he looked up to for so long did something like? After all of the lectures about family? Tommy's hands balled into tight fists, his limbs shaking slightly. "That's what the suitcase is for, you're leaving?"

Cas looked at it, "I need to get away from him, I don't want to hear excuses and I can't see him right now."

Tommy nodded, "You should go, mom. You need to; I'm staying here. I'll wait for him."

Cas hugged him, "Thank you, baby. I'll come home again-"

"No," Tommy interrupted, "Don't promise that. If I were you I'd leave him. Depending on where you go and what he says, I may just join you. So don't make promises right now, okay?"

"Tommy…" Cas shifted onto his knees and looked into his son's blue eyes, seeing his own in them, "I love your dad, okay? He's been perfect but I kept leaving him, I've neglected your dad and I deserve this."

Tommy slapped his mother hard across the face, considering Castiel's grace had been cut off and Tommy was still a quarter angel, the singer tumbled to the floor. "That isn't true! How could you say you deserved something like this! You wanted to have a little independence, is that so fucking wrong? Dad can be a huge baby about this shit and you know it! He can't stand being alone; even though he has all his friends and uncle Sam he thinks he's alone when you aren't there. Like hello, you have a fucking son, how are you alone! But no, he's a big FUCKING baby and he's gone way too far with it! He can't come close to justifying this and I'm going to tell him so."

Tommy pulled Castiel from the floor, the nephelim's face frozen in shock from his son's outburst. "Now you're going to take your suitcase, take one of the cars or ask an angel, and go somewhere else for a while."

Cas found the suitcase in his hands and Tommy's strong push behind him as he was ushered out the door and down to the front entrance of their home. Sam shook his head, if Tommy didn't tear into Dean enough, Sam would do the rest of it.

Sam wasn't sure what he could possibly do now but talk to Dean, Tommy was pissed and fuming out the door, Charlie wasn't even home, and Cas was sent away. He frowned furiously; talking to Dean now would only end in serious fighting between them. He tapped his fingers on the kitchen table and sighed heavily. This wasn't his problem but it sure felt like it.

Tommy threw his shoes on and bolted to Yoshi's place, he needed to share this with his boyfriend, seek advice from his best friend, and just all around bitch about it. He needed to know what he should do about his dad. Was it okay that he still loved the man despite the betrayal? Was that a shot at his mom? Tommy had too many questions and too few adults he felt like asking. Though most of all he just wanted to feel safe in the arms of someone he trusted, someone who hadn't stabbed in the back.

He didn't bother knocking anymore, barging in suited him just fine. "Yoshi," his tone was still hardened from his conversation with Castiel, the door swinging violently closed behind him.

Yoshi was startled to his feet from the slamming door. More importantly, his boyfriend was pissed, and it sounded like it was his fault. Yoshi collected himself quickly, checking himself over for appearances and wondered if he should head out ready for a fight or something else. Admittedly, going out looking for a fight wouldn't help even if Tommy _were_ mad at him. "Yeah?" Yoshi asked, walking to the front door, praying it was still on its hinges.

"Yoshi, I need to talk to you." Tommy didn't wait for a reaction and just fell into Yoshi's arms, curling into the warmth of the other male.

Yoshi's eyes widened and he mentally congratulated himself for not picking a fight by accident. "Hey, its ok, whatever it is. What's going on?"

"My dad was screwing your brother, did you know?" The first question was a question of loyalty, whether or not this was someone he could trust. Tommy had already been struck hard by Dean's actions, questioning people he ought not to.

"Fucking asshole! Which one?" Yoshi fumed, as convincing as any with a knack for stage performance. Tommy needed a rock, a solid entity in his life that he could lean on and confide in, especially if he'd lost faith in his father. Dean meant more to Tommy that Yoshi figured anyone else ever would. Telling the truth about knowing was not a good idea, not by a long shot.

Tommy breathed a sigh of relief into his boyfriend's embrace, cuddling closer and relaxing a little. "Twix, of course. I don't think Snowe's got that kind of evil in him." He gripped Yoshi's clothes for further comfort, not wanting to let what they had slip away too.

"Alright, well Charlie and Snowe are here doing... whatever, did you want to go for a walk? We'll grab a coffee and talk, I promise."

Tommy nodded, "Yes please," he started to get up from the couch though staying in Yoshi's arms sounded much more comfortable at this point. Going out to clear his head wasn't a bad idea though; he didn't want to run into Twix if Dean brought the boy home. He'd kill him.

Yoshi grabbed his coat and quickly laced up his boots before taking Tommy out the door, wrapping an arm around him to keep him close."Well now we know that back in high school Twix wasn't replacing you as a son... how long has this been going on for?"

"I have no idea really… If mom's sickness is any indication I'd say about a year now. Probably started back at the museum, remember when they both disappeared?" Tommy thought about the way Dean kept thinking about Twix, kept asking about it. _'That was more of a worried, fatherly concern… No this definitely started after that.'_ "I fucking hate your brother, by the way." Tommy looked at Yoshi angrily, "If I see him… well you'd better just hope I don't see him." He was pissed, beyond pissed. Hurt, betrayed, angry, scared… A number of thoughts and feelings running through him all at once and yet he couldn't think of a single thing to do about it. Turning back time would be the easiest thing, he figured.

* * *

><p>Castiel had gotten pretty far in his car, he'd decided to do this on his own and not ask for angelic assistance all the time. Everyone else in the world got by without it, and so could he. Besides, he felt like that's all he was using his friends for these days, it felt awful. That scene he'd just witnessed, Dean on top of another man. It wrenched around inside him, he could feel the strong, angry vibrations of his grace behind that wall. <em>'This is what it was telling me. Every time I felt that pain this… this is what Dean was doing every time.'<em>

Cas pulled over and rested against the steering wheel, sobbing again. "For a year…" he mumbled, "Dean's been doing this to me for a year!" His weakened hands slapped the interior of the car as if Dean could feel it, as if slapping his betrayer, all the while shouting furiously.

The more the thought the stronger the pounding his core made, the louder his grace shrieked. Until finally it split in two, then three, four, five, hundreds of little pieces falling into disintegration. Castiel sat in frozen shock, his heart pounding from fear and all the adrenaline that came with it. His grace had just shattered. If it hadn't been for that wall Balthazar put between him and his angelic side he would have been dragged down and killed.

The now human angel had a few options; dwell on this little fact that his grace had shattered and he lost his angel wings, forget about it and continue to flee, run home to his friends, or go after Dean Winchester with a vengeance for killing him for the last year.

After several moments of thought the tires on the car spun out after a violent slam on the gas pedal, the car pulling around in a furious U-turn and speeding back to town. Go after Dean with a vengeance it was. If he knew Dean, and he did, Dean would be dropping Twix off first.

* * *

><p>Dean pulled up outside Twix's house and killed the engine. The drive back had been one long, tense silence; and Dean wasn't sure if he would've preferred a screaming match over that murderous tension. Dean stated the obvious, for lack of something to say.<p>

Twix hadn't noticed the tension in the ride back, hadn't even realized how far they'd driven already. His mind was lost in a faint memory and trying to drag up the feelings of joy and comfort he'd felt then. His mom helping him dress in the mornings, forcing him to brush his teeth and comb his hair. His brothers barely wanting to get out of bed in the first place. Then there was a big blank space where happiness should have been, small warm feelings from little things Snowe would do, the way the boy miraculously survived that fatal crash.

He thought Snowe had died then, with his parents. The small, fragile body of his brother mangled in with the rest of the mini-van. The white skin, cold dead eyes faded from lack of life. Maybe he'd imagined the lifeless body when he was four years old.

Comfort and joy came back to him when he met Dean, little things here and there and finally the act they performed together. Dean held him close, held him together and ultimately saved his life. He couldn't hate this man; there was no way he could bring himself to, not after all they'd done together already.

Twix looked up at Dean, the tears hadn't left his eyes. In that moment he wished he could take it all back, never do that with Dean and instead just go to him when he was little, when he needed Dean, a father.

Dean let his eyes wander, wanting to look at _anything_ else, look _anywhere_ other than at Twix's heart wrenched eyes. He knew he'd be scolded for it, or he should be –what kind of man doesn't look the person in the eye after he's wronged them? _One who feels like less than a man_. Dean made a mental note to thank his self-loathing mind for keeping true to its course. And then he saw it, and his eyes fixated like he had a sudden case of tunnel vision.

One of the bedroom windows of the house was alight, and the interior lighting shone a bright background for the vibrant red splatter across the window's glass. There was no mistaking what that was –blood, and a lot of it, was spattered across the window, and Dean bolted from the car. "That's Snowe's room!" He called back to Twix, who had been facing him, and hadn't seen it. "Just wait in the car!" Dean yelled back, skipped the front steps and kicking the door in.

Twix's heart almost stopped, again. "You say 'that's Snowe's room' and expect me to wait!" He shrieked, bolting after Dean. He slowed down, his mind racing ahead of him. _'Whatever you find in there, it's already done and over with. There isn't anything you can do so why go in? Why see something that may be impossible to unsee?'_ He shook his head and went back to the car, eyes fixed on the window anxiously, watching for movement or signs of his brothers.

"Snowe!" Dean shouted into the house, barging through the small home and promptly kicking in his second door of the day. "Snowe! Are you-" Dean stopped dead in his tracks at the sight in front of him. His nephew was strung up on the bed, clothing torn from his body in shreds to reveal a myriad of wounds and injuries both fresh and old and infected. The room was painted in blood, no doubt Charlie's.

Dean darted to the bed, "Charlie, can you hear me?" Dean brushed the blood-matted hair from Charlie's face to get a look at his eyes, hidden behind eyelids that were far too lax to be conscious. Dean quickly checked for a pulse, terrified that he'd find none. It was faint, but steady, and Dean breathed a sigh of relief before pulling out a pocketknife and severing the ropes from the bed.

"Where the hell is Snowe?" Dean asked aloud, eyes darting around the room as he wrapped up his unconscious nephew in the bed sheets. Dean carefully hefted Charlie into his arms and carried him out to the car, "Twix, Charlie's hurt and I can't find Snowe. I'm going to give the house another look over before calling the cops. Can you stay in the car and watch Charlie for me?"

Twix stared down at the Winchester boy and nodded, eyes darting back up to Dean's, "Where's Yoshi? He was home too."

"Didn't see him either, I'll check again." Dean knew that building wasn't big enough to lose two people in, and if either of them were home, they were hiding. Must've been.

"Dean, you came!" Snowe's light voice called from the doorway of the house, his small frame also drenched in blood and matting his clothing. "I'm so glad to see you!" He ran forward to meet the man, everything about him looked normal besides all of the red stains.

"Oh my god, Snowe!" Dean ran the remaining gap between them, dropping himself lower when meeting up with Snowe, hands firmly placed on his shoulders. "Are you ok? What happened here?" Dean could see that despite the bloodstains Snowe was perfectly fine; it was almost suspicious that there wasn't a single injury on him. '_Did Charlie save him? Why wouldn't Snowe stay with him in that state? Why's he so cheery?_' Something just wasn't clicking, and it was starting to unnerve the older man.

When Dean finished his worrisome speaking, Snowe's eyes nearly melted into dark black holes, that sick smile returning to his face. "Where's your bitch? I'm here for him." His strangled voice rumbled from his throat just before he took hold of Dean's limbs and pulled him down to his knees with an undeniable strength. Snowe didn't hesitate to slam his knee into Dean's nose, hands placed firmly on the man's head to keep him from reeling.

The entire movement caught Dean by surprise, the questions racing through his mind caused the registering of the ink-black eyes to be delayed, the oddity of which was creepy as hell. Dean couldn't believe the strength in Snowe's frail looking limbs, the death grip the teen had on his arms and not to mention the supernatural strength in his knee that shattered Dean's nose. Dean's eyesight went black for a moment and despite the fact that his head was held firmly in place it felt as though the world were spinning. Dean could taste blood in his mouth and knew his nose must be bleeding as well.

"I've been waiting a _long_ fucking time for this, you know that!" He cried as a blood-curdling laugh erupted from deep in his belly. "You ruined my plan over twenty years ago and now I finally get a chance to pay you back!"

Dean could hardly comprehend the demon's screaming antics. '_Plan? 20 years ago...?_' Try as Dean might, all he came up with was that he didn't know Snowe 20 years ago, how could he ruin an infant's plan?

Twix hopped out of the car and ran to his brother's side, "Snowe! Snowe stop it, what are you doing?" He could hardly believe the sight, which is what took him so long to get out of the Impala.

Snowe turned his smirk on Twix and slammed the teen in the stomach with an open palm, sending him flying several feet in the air, landing almost a yard away. "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm finally getting my revenge on this stupid little human."

Dean would have cried out for Twix, shouted or something, if he could just get his bearings straight. One blow to the face did more for disorientation than Dean thought possible. That flight through the air only meant a more painful landing for Twix, and Dean desperately hoped the young man was ok.

Twix groaned as he sat up, staring at the strange figure that was his brother, that devilish smile and those mutated eyes. "What are you?"

"No one's figured it out yet, have they?" Snowe tilted his head with a frown, "Oh well, guess I'll tell you." He took a firm hold of Dean's hair and shoved his face into the ground, foot coming down on his neck. "Stay like this for a second, ass-hat." He giggled again, deranged and inhuman.

Dean grunted on impact, coughing blood out into the dirt and trying to squirm under Snowe's foot. The weight above him didn't belong fully to the older teen; there was something else there. '_Twenty years ago... The kids weren't born yet; Snowe wouldn't even have been born yet. That's just before I married Cas, when Cas was... working for Michael_.' Dean squirmed harder to get up, a cold sense of terror starting to settle in his gut and clear his thoughts. This was bad.

"Remember way back when you freed Castiel from Michael? Your whole 'I love him blah blah blah' schtick? Well let me recap for you, a demon convinced Michael to enslave that pretty little thing in exchange for better success in life. That demon was killed by Castiel at the end of all the crazy shit and you all thought it was done and over with. Well guess what, handsome? It's not. See that demon was _my_ underling. I wanted the angel and I was coming for him, and then you came along and fucked it all up." Snowe lifted his foot from Dean's neck just to wind up and kick the beaten man while he was down.

Dean grunted from the blow, curling up on his stomach to protect it from another, though logically he figured he should probably be protecting his head. He looked back up at the demon-possessed teen in waiting for the rest of the 'I won so I'm telling you my tale of woe.'

"He was a good worker, too. Set it all up so that damn cross would do all the work for us, whittling that angel down, little by little. But when I went to collect the winged beast, you had already freed him and my employee was a lump on the floor! That angel was supposed to belong to me and you fucked it all up. Well I decided to return the favour." Snowe lifted his hands to the air, throwing his head back, "Do you like it!"

Twix blinked, trying hard to understand what had just happened here. "What the hell does this have to do with Snowe!" Regardless of what was happening, Twix knew that whatever this thing was, it wasn't his brother.

With an argument ensuing between the brothers, Dean started to stir on the ground, collect his bearing and maybe _get the fuck up_. They were just kids, and he was on the ground from round one.

"Twix, you arrogant little shit." Snowe laughed, planting his foot on Dean's neck again, a strange powerful force pressuring Dean to remain on the ground. "This plan has everything to do with Snowe, my little tool of destruction. He's made it possible to not only get my revenge but still get what I wanted to begin with! I love this kid!"

After a pause to laugh again, Snowe twisted his head down to grin at Dean then back up at Twix. "Since you're so simple minded I'll piece it together for you. How long do you think I've been in this sweet piece of ass?"

'_I don't fucking know,_' Dean lied still, waiting for the next opportunity to get up and do something. With Snowe's firm footing he wasn't getting up anytime soon, but he could wait it out.

Twix glowered at the boy, his memory flashing a single image across his retinas; Snowe's lifeless body in that mangled wreckage. "When he was four years old."

"Ding ding ding!" Snowe cheered childishly before reverting back to the demonic tone, "Gold stars for the genius kid. This little guy was done for, at least before I entered him. Thanks to me he's alive and well, physically strong and perfectly capable."

"You've been my brother this whole time!" Twix's enraged voice tore from his throat as he struggled to stand up, feeling coming back to his legs after that impossibly hard hit.

"No, of course not! That just wouldn't work, I'm too cruel and you'd see right through it in no time. Think a little, smart guy. I've only been influencing Snowe since then, can you remember when Snowe really started needed constant supervision?"

Twix's heart sank a little with the thought, his brain catching up and solving the puzzle on its own, "After the accident…"

"Good, and can you tell me what caused you to open up to Dean in the first place?"

"…Snowe really liked him, and Snowe was a surprisingly good judge of character in his own way." Twix squeezed his eyes shut, remembering all the little things.

"Yes! I think you're getting it, Twix. Let's hear it out loud, for the folks at home." Snowe grinned madly.

"Everything that lead to what Dean and I did, you influenced Snowe to cause all of it. You're the reason Snowe wandered into dangerous places, got lost all the time, mindlessly walked in front of speeding cars, touching things too hot for him… You're the monster in his drawings." Twix mentally scolded himself for not seeing it sooner, that Snowe was the reason for all of it. "You made him act like an oblivious fool constantly to wear me down, to try and break me apart so when Dean would show me affection I'd never turn away from it."

Twix grit his teeth and glared forward, "But why! What was the point of destroying our lives along with his?"

"Because I needed helpless, fucked up people to get closer and tug at some heart strings and weasel in to Dean's life." Snowe looked down at Dean again, kneeling down and lifting the man's chin to stare into the darkest depths of Snowe's eyes, "When an angel or even a nephelim mates with someone as often as you and Castiel did, it's for life. Your soul and his grace were connected by a strong bond and every single time you fucked Twix you hammered it. Over and over again, you tore that bond down and finally…" Snowe did his best to keep his snickering to a minimum, "Finally it broke. That fucking angel's grace _finally_ shattered! He's powerless and weak, easy for me to snatch up."

"No," Dean stared up at Snowe's pitch black eyes in disbelief, "no way." All those months, all the pain that Castiel had been suffering through, the division of his grace from the rest of his body –was all because of Dean. Now it was too late to fix it, too late to make it right. And it was only thanks to this demon's bragging about how Cas was now weak and powerless that Dean could feel remotely ok because at least he knew Cas wasn't _dead_.

Twix ran up behind the demon and swung as hard as he could but his arm was caught firmly in an unbelievably unforgiving grip. "Twix, you little shit…" Snowe repeated, turning his head angrily to face the red-eyed boy, "I was going to let you off the hook after this but I don't think so. You'll suffer with Dean, I was gonna make him live without his precious wife but now I just want him dead."

Twix's eyes watered, "No wait, Snowe don't."

"I thought I made this perfectly clear already, _I'm not Snowe._" It growled, a bright glow shone from its fingertips, hitting Dean in the forehead.

"GAAAAHHH!" Dean screamed in pain, whatever the hell that light was, it was nothing good. From Dean's slim experience with angel-demon stuff, this must be the complete antithesis of grace. It was bright, but somehow black. And it wasn't warm or ensuring, it was like a disease; a distinct feeling of rot and death and _cold_. The world suddenly felt distant, a permanent black-silhouetted tunnel vision settled into his sight and he felt detached from his body, struggling for control.


	29. Chapter 29

**Author's Note****:**

**Okay final chapter everyone! Socks are on and ready to fly off, I know it's been a long time since this has been up but I really hope you're in the mood for it :) I'm sorry for how long it took, how long the story is, and of course that many of you didn't appreciate it. (of course the ones still reading this are probably not included in that lol)**

**Of course enjoy the last chapter of Pleasure My Angel part 3 :) Look out for another collab fic between Touta Matsuda and I, it'll be called something like Fallout: Supernatural and it's gonna be fun. **

* * *

><p>Tommy felt a lot better, hanging out with Yoshi for several hours seemed to do the trick. As the two strode up toward the triplets' house Tommy spotted the Impala and a deep glare came over his expression. He stalked toward the scene, seeing Snowe holding Twix back with one arm and lifting the other with a strange glowing light at his fingertips. At first Tommy didn't care, not until he saw what was beneath Snowe's foot. "Dad…"<p>

The light flashed into Dean and Tommy could sense that something was instantly off with his father's physical and spiritual states. "Dad!" Tommy bolted forward, forgetting why he was pissed and worrying about the many bloodstains and Dean's current position.

'_Tommy,_' Dean's eyes focused and he forced his head up. His son was here, the one place in the world Dean would've _prayed_ for him not to be. With Dean laid to waste in the dirt, and a crazed, Winchester-hating demon roaming the grounds. '_Leave, Tommy._' Dean's mind spoke when his voice didn't, '_get the hell out of here!_'

Snowe lifted his head and snarled, "Fuck, I was hoping this one would be gone a lot longer." He threw Twix to the ground and stepped off of Dean, stalking to meet Tommy before he got any closer. "Hi Tommy," he spoke awkwardly, getting in the teen's way.

"Back off, freak." Tommy snapped, stumbling back a few steps. How could he have missed this before? How did such an ugly stain living inside Snowe go unnoticed this long?

"You get away from him," Dean growled out, shakily gathering his strength.

Snowe's hands came up in a swift motion, a dark ball of energy forming around his palms and engulfing him up to his forearms. "Say bye bye, little Winchester."

Tommy's eyes widened and felt his limbs stiffen as his body refused to move. Fear gripped his heart as he felt the surge of power flow toward him.

"NOOO!" Dean was up and in the way, the distance between him and his son felt like nothing in seconds. The dark ball of energy didn't hit his son, wouldn't harm Tommy –Dean could rest easy knowing that. Because what else could he do but rest? Dean felt paralyzed when the blow landed, like struck by lightning with your feet grounded by the force. It was all over in a flash, and Dean could hear the muffled pounding of his heart beat in his ears. As the sound faded, he fell to the ground.

* * *

><p>The road back into town seemed longer than it did on the way out; Castiel's foot was pressing the pedal down as far as it would go and flying down the highway. Part of him felt it wasn't fast enough, but that part was all of a sudden very quiet. All of him was, really. He was on his way home again after several hours of driving away, of course it would take a bit but he still felt like the earth stretched itself out just for him.<p>

Yes, Dean cheated on him. Yes, Dean lied to him. And yes, Dean was killing him. That last one was questionable as to whether or not Dean knew about it, Castiel figured no. _'If I had told him that I suspected he was the culprit, would he have stopped? Probably…'_ Castiel mentally scolded himself for not talking to his husband about these things.

"We're married." He said aloud. "This kind of thing takes two people, what he did to me is no one person's fault." Cas sighed, knowing he was to blame for all of it just as much as Dean. Something happened between them and so many times they pretended and tried to patch it up. A huge blow out is exactly what they needed to get it all laid out and in the open, granted it was a hideous thing and Cas was hurting terribly from it. "It would have been easier if he'd just stabbed me physically." He muttered sadly, his foot slipping from the gas.

He shook his head and floored it again, "I'm still gonna kick his ass."

* * *

><p>Tommy's eyes were fixed on the falling back of his father, the way his head bobbed and rolled when he hit the ground. "Dad…?" He squeaked, limbs shaking and lungs struggling to take in air.<p>

Twix opened his eyes from his position on the ground, staring right into the blank expression of his ex-lover. Life drained from those once bright hazel eyes quickly, stealing their sight and leaving the rest. The last breaths flowed from between those perfect lips, dragging with them the last chance for this man to ever say goodbye to his loved ones. And pouring out of a gaping wound in Dean's side was the crimson blood that kept him warm, that closed in and held tight to this life.

Snowe growled, "_That_ was not supposed to happen so soon, but I can live with it." He turned dark eyes on Yoshi, standing further in the distance than the others. "Awe, he thinks he can stay out of it." He glanced at Tommy's frozen stance with a sick look, "I'm going to take everything, you know that don't you? Son of Castiel."

"No…" Tommy whimpered, not able to look up from his dad, "Daddy no…"

Yoshi could only watch wide-eyed as the situation unfolding went from suspicious to a horror movie outtake. Dean Winchester –the man that everyone in their respective families should have hated, the father of his boyfriend and the man fucking his brother –was now dead on the ground. Yoshi wasn't sure if he should be sad, or ecstatic. If it weren't for him, Tommy would've been the one dead on the ground. Maybe it was all just a nightmare; maybe he could just slink into the shadows and pretend he never saw that.

Snowe shrugged, "This'll teach you to pay attention then." He wandered toward Yoshi, "Brother!" He called with that same disturbed giggle, "Come play with me, Yoshi! You fucked up little bastard." In a swift movement of his small hands an invisible force yanked the dark haired teen forward until he landed on the ground just before Snowe's feet.

"Look who's talking," Yoshi grunted out, straining against the invisible force on him. Yoshi was quickly starting to feel that out of the three brothers he was the _least_fucked up. At least the shit he did was _normal_ teenage behaviour. "Snowe _please_, get a hold of yourself. Look at what you're doing..." _Killing people, that's what he's doing. Beating the hell out of Twix, attempted murder and successful murder... no way in hell he's going to listen to me_.

"YOSHI!" Twix struggled to stand, despite the tears streaming down his cheeks and pain rushing throughout his body. "You get away from my brother!"

Snowe lazily swatted at Twix with the same force he knocked Yoshi down with but the silver-haired teen stood his ground. Snowe glared, confused. "What the hell?"

Twix grunted as he dashed forward and punched his brother's face, knocking the smaller boy away from Yoshi's downed form. "I'll never let you hurt him."

Snowe rubbed his cheek, "You bitch, I'm not sure what the fuck you are but no one gets away with that-" His eyes widened and shifted awkwardly, gargling sounds erupting from his throat and his body shaking without his control. Snowe twitched and glanced over to see what was causing his stuttering limbs.

Tommy stood with glowing white eyes and a hand outstretched toward the demonic beast. "You killed my dad." He boomed across the short distance between them, a vicious wind blasting the triplets for every little burst of energy. "I'll never forgive you, monster."

Yoshi watched with wide eyes as his boyfriend lit up like a superhero –epic speeches and all. '_When the hell did I go crazy?_' Yoshi stopped craning his neck and dropped his head back to the ground. This was just insane.

Snowe stumbled and attempted to plead with Tommy but there was no consoling the young Winchester. In a flash Tommy was in front of Snowe's small body, his hand plastered to the boy's forehead. A loud shriek escaped just before an enormous flash of light that just as swiftly faded.

"Snowe!" Twix cried as he caught the falling form, Snowe's eyes closed and body going limp. "Snowe…" He whispered, slumping down to his knees and bundling his little brother in his arms. "How much of you is left?"

"He'll be fine." Tommy muttered and turned his head toward Dean, tears rushing out of his eyes as he let his defensive wall crumble. "But he…"

Twix lifted his head and glanced at the man who had made him so happy in the last year. "I'm… really sorry, Tommy. I wish I could help-"

"You've done enough, Twix." Tommy snapped through a sob.

"For what it's worth, he never loved me." Twix said quietly, wishing he'd meant as much to Dean as Tommy did.

"You're an idiot," Tommy fell next to Dean and curled into him, hands coming up and healing the wound in Dean's body, a hope that it would bring his father back to him. "My dad loved you, but he loved you like a son, part of the family. He just wanted to help and got caught up in it."

Twix sat in silence for a second and nodded, "Yeah… you're right on all counts."

Yoshi edged closer to the two fallen and the two surviving. "So what now? Should we call the cops? Or an ambulance?"

Twix shook his head, words were lost from his tongue and considering all that had just happened he had no idea what the normal thing to do would be.

Tires screeching to a stop caught their attention but none bothered to look up to see who it was. "DEAN!" Castiel's voice shot out of his mouth, shocking himself, his son, and Twix. They had expected Cas to be long gone, to leave Dean for good. What was he doing back?

Cas stumbled down the rest of the drive way and to his husband's side. His strength had diminished considerably and he felt woozy from getting out of the car so fast. What was worse, though, was the terrible pain he felt in his chest at seeing the love of his life bleeding out onto the ground. Cas skidded and dropped suddenly next to Dean, taking the man's cold body into his arms quickly, "Baby look at me. Say something! _**Dean**_!" he sobbed as he uselessly shook Dean's still partially warm corpse, slowing down and lowering it back into his lap.

"Mom…" Tommy sat up sadly, ignoring the blood soaking him entirely. "I thought you left, why are you here?"

"What happened, Tommy?" Cas looked at him desperately, "Why is he so bloody? Why isn't he waking up?"

"I healed the wound but he was already…" Tommy trailed off, not daring to say it out loud.

"_Who did it?_" Tommy had never heard his mom sound so angry, so vicious and ready to kill. Part of him wanted to say Snowe, part of him wanted to say Twix. But he knew better.

"A demon, it was going to kill me but dad saved my life."

Cas couldn't help the memory that came to him after hearing that, the thought that his baby would take everything away from him. How stupid he was to believe that Tommy would steal Dean from him. And now how happy he was to hear that Dean at least died saving his son, redeeming himself as much as he could possibly do in a final moment.

"It's not your fault, Tommy." Cas knew his family well and knew that Tommy was going to take right after Dean with the whole 'if it weren't for me he'd still be alive' thing.

"But he-"

"Dean would have ended up like this whether you were around or not, demons are killers and when they want someone dead for a long period of time it doesn't matter who's around when it happens. Your dad loved you and he'd never blame you for this." Cas wiped his eyes though it did little to stop the flow of salty liquid on his cheeks.

Tommy climbed closer and hugged his parents, Dean pressed between his wife and son.

Yoshi had always thought himself prepared, jaded. Whatever the world was going to toss at him, he could take it. He'd been on his own long enough anyway –with their parents dead in a fiery crash, with his smallest brother a walking nightmare and full time job. His arrogant brother too stuck in surviving to realize he wasn't, taken on a life of prostitution and blaming Yoshi's lack of assistance –lack of brotherly compassion for it. But he was never ready for this. To discover that Snowe was _demon-possessed_, killing his friends and family, and to see death, so up close. As a child, you don't notice the same things. You remember the heat of the flames, the screams and the blood. As you grow older, death is less about the senses and more about the mind –how a human body can be present with no soul and no life. A person you knew to be walking and talking and joking, now cold and desolate. And the people in shock and mourning –they were the worst. How people took to loss (or didn't take to loss).

Yoshi dropped down beside Twix on the yard, holding Snowe's unconscious body in his lap. "Do you think Tommy's right? Is Snowe going to be ok?" Yoshi reached over and brushed some of the stray strands of hair from Snowe's flawless skin.

Twix looked up with tears in his eyes then back at Snowe, "I really hope so, Yoshi." He wanted to ask how Yoshi was doing but he couldn't bring himself to do it, neither of them were doing terribly well so why bother asking? It would be a stupid question.

"We're taking him home with us," Castiel whispered as he lifted Dean up, holding his body close, though they wouldn't be as close as they used to. "I want his… I want his grave nearby."

Yoshi glanced at the body solemnly, "So no ambulance. But there's a dead guy on the ground, we're supposed to call _somebody_." It was more of an utterance, and not a pressing point. Not knowing what to do was the worst thing –hell, everything was 'the worst thing' right now.

Tommy didn't question it and stood as well, glancing over at the triplets he nodded toward the Impala. "Come on," he said simply, heading toward it.

Twix didn't move, assuming Tommy meant Yoshi only. "Twix, bring Snowe. Come on." Tommy's voice called out again, patience slowly diminishing in it.

Twix looked up, confused. "But I…"

"You heard him, get in." Cas demanded.

Lifting Snowe to the best of his ability, Twix sauntered to the car.

"I'll give you a hand with Snowe," Yoshi offered, "You don't look like you're capable of much right now."

They drove off, slowly and almost without any kind of destination. Cas hadn't wanted to let go of Dean but someone had to drive them home and he wasn't about to ask his son to do it.

* * *

><p>Sam looked out the window and his heart nearly stopped. Long legs carried him out the door as he watched the Impala pull up in the driveway. Castiel lifting up a very limp, unresponsive and pale Dean, Tommy with Charlie hefted onto his back, and the triplets, Twix carrying Snowe and leaning on Yoshi for support (who was supporting who wasn't entirely clear to Sam just yet).<p>

Gabriel looked up from the book he was reading, the lollipop in his mouth drooping a bit when his jaw went slack. Looking quickly over to Anna and Balthazar, "Do you feel that? Something's wrong..."

Balthazar nodded grimly, "It reeks of demon down there." The trio quickly rose, following Sam's quick exit.

"What happened!" Sam didn't know who or what to address first. However he knew that the unconscious people weren't all living, that much was clear by the looks on everyone's faces.

They piled inside without answering, nearly collapsing in the living room. Tommy laid Charlie on the couch, doing his best to heal his cousin but he'd spent a lot of his mojo just on expelling the demon and healing Dean's wound.

Sam went to Dean's side, noting that his brother looked worst out of all of them. He was worried about Charlie, but he saw the boy's chest moving and knew he wasn't dead. Dean he'd seen nothing. "Let me see him, Cas."

Cas was lying on top of Dean's immobile form, collapsed there and not moving himself. He shook his head stubbornly, "No," he whimpered.

Sam sighed and hefted the rather light singer off and reached down to check Dean's pulse. At first there was nothing but with a little patience he could feel the faintest beat, but only one every ten or twenty seconds. "He… isn't dead." Sam said a little relieved, though he'd been pissed mad at his brother he couldn't stand the thought of losing him.

"He's not!" A chorused reply came to him, Castiel, Tommy and Twix all lit up at the news. Cas' voice was the loudest.

"No, well... I can't really tell." Sam wanted to stay positive, "Gabriel or Balthazar, can you fix him? Charlie too?"

"I've got Charlie," Tommy grumbled stubbornly. He was older; he should have taken care of his cousin better than he had.

Gabriel exchanged glances with Balthazar, "I've got Dean –he looks like he'd need an archangel anyway. Can you take a look at Charlie?"

Balthazar nodded curtly, walking over to Tommy's side. "Hey there, don't push yourself too hard." Balthazar reached a hand over, gently placing his fingertips to Charlie's forehead. "Your strength will come back with rest –and will grow stronger with training. But for now, just be happy you're among friends."

Tommy felt pretty useless for letting that happen but he nodded to Balthazar anyway, "Thank you, I wish I could have done more." He stared down at his cousin; glad at least that Charlie was still alive and would continue to be for a while.

Gabriel scooted closer to Cas and Sam, "If I could get past you guys, I'll do a quick one-over on him." Gabriel wiggled between them anyway, waving his lightly glowing hands over Dean's supposed not-corpse. "Well there's good news and there's bad news. The good news is that the 'killing blow' wasn't actually strong enough to kill him." Gabriel paused for the inevitable feedback from the group.

The pause only proved to frustrate the others, Castiel especially. "And the _bad_ news!" He was leaned forward as far as he could get without Sam pushing him back again. His eyes were wide with stress and a small glimmer of hope struggled beneath all of the pain and fear, Cas fought it back to keep his hopes from being smashed like his grace.

"The bad news is that killing Dean wasn't the demon's primary objective. Did he do anything else to Dean, do you know?" Gabriel looked over at Twix, knowing the boy had been there with Dean from the start. "He's cursed, and it's not something I can undo –it needs to be removed on terms of the curse. 'Mirror mirror on the wall... Can only be woken by true love's kiss.' I'm pretty sure that the cocky little demon thought no one could really love Dean playing middleman like that. Or it would offend Dean's other lover when one could wake him and the other couldn't. ...or it just happened that way. Who knows."

Twix remembered what Snowe had been saying at the time, how the demon wanted to hurt not just Dean but Twix too. He furrowed his brow and looked at Dean's body anxiously. The way he worked it out in his head, the thing that would hurt the most would be for his kiss to be capable of waking Dean. Knowing that Dean was his true love would kill him; this was true because no matter what happened, Dean would stay with his family. Regardless of if they even wanted him back.

"We should try it." Cas spoke first, his eyes reluctantly meeting Twix's in an awkward, hesitant gaze. Neither wanted Dean to be dead, both loved him endlessly. Why, then, would they not do it? Just because they were scared of what the outcome would be? That didn't make sense, but Cas needed to know one thing first. "You first, Twix." He didn't want to kiss Dean and watch it fail, he didn't deserve someone as amazing as his husband and after all that had happened between them he just wanted it to be normal. He wanted his baby back but he'd settle for alive.

Twix swallowed hard and approached Dean's comatose body with little confidence showing, despite how he thought he knew it would turn out. He knelt next to Dean and leaned in, he paused briefly before he kissed this man for the last time. That much he was sure of.

The room was silent when the boy sat upright again, all eyes on Dean. "He isn't moving," Tommy whispered, his tone impossible to place even for himself. Twix's eyes were widening as surprise settled in. A demon didn't know what would hurt him most? Or maybe that's not what the spell was really asking for?

"Cas' turn," Sam smiled, a soft look in his eye as he touched Castiel's shoulder.

The singer trembled and went to his husband's side, gently touching Dean's face as Twix backed away for them. Castiel's gaze lingered on Dean's perfect lips, shifting up to those eyelashes that he'd always been jealous of, trying to see beyond them and into Dean's mind. "I'm sorry, baby," he whispered hoarsely, fresh tears dripping down his cheeks again. "I never should have let you go." He leaned down and gently pressed his lips to Dean's, eyes closed. Tommy held his breath, eyes watering. Twix smiled knowingly, his eyes were sharp and the tiniest twitch in Dean wouldn't go unnoticed.

* * *

><p><em>Kill for gain, shoot to maim<br>We don't need a reason  
>The Golden Goose is on the loose<br>Never out of season_

Blackened pride burns inside  
>Shell of bloody treason<br>Here's my gun for a barrel of fun  
>For the love of living death<p>

The words started as a whisper, barely audible. Dean couldn't place the sound or source, it sounded far away, and getting closer, and still it sounded like it came from nowhere at all –like it was all in his head. And for the life of him he couldn't place what it was. It was so familiar, so similar to something he just couldn't place. And worst of all –that was all there was, just the sound; melodic and growing louder.

_The killer's breed or the demon's seed  
>The glamor, the fortune, the pain<br>Go to war again, blood is freedom's stain  
>Don't you pray for my soul anymore<em>

With his vision returning, his surroundings slowly became more recognizable –more familiar. Looking around was like sinking in a fishbowl, nothing was clear -nowhere near the crisp HD-vision you'd like to have of life. Dean was in his car, rolling down a familiar highway and singing along with the radio. One of his favorites, his mind supplied somewhere amidst a dying fog. He'd been here before, done this before. He had a vague passing thought, of Sammy not understanding _real_ music; thoughts of music relating to _life_, not some hip new-age pretty face...

_2 minutes to midnight  
>The hands that threaten doom<br>2 minutes to midnight  
>To kill the unborn in the womb<em>

_The blind men shout, Let the creatures out  
>Let's show the unbelievers<br>The napalm screams of human flames  
>Of a prime time Belsen feast<em>

As the reasons for the carnage  
>Cut their meat and lick the gravy<br>We oil the jaws of the war machines  
>And feed them with our babies<p>

The thoughts didn't feel like his own, like they were pulled from his mind but not now, not from him. Another him, riding in his car, singing along with Iron Maiden and admiring the superiority of the Powerslave album; travelling to convene with friends and family like a normal guy, at a small town diner. The same diner where Sam would unveil the victory of acquiring backstage passes to that godforsaken pop band. There was still time to turn around, avoid going and avoid ever meeting...

_The killer's breed or the demon's seed  
>The glamor, the fortune, the pain<br>Go to war again, blood is freedom's stain  
>Don't you pray for my soul anymore<em>

2 minutes to midnight  
>The hands that threaten doom<br>2 minutes to midnight  
>To kill the unborn in the womb<p>

But there was time to go and take the tickets, go and do it right. To see that beautiful face again, those stunning blue eyes. To play savior to a captured angel, a lonely soul, and to do it all right. To love him and let him go, realize that he'll come back and that he'll stay because all along he knew that Castiel loved him and wouldn't dare leave him. Wouldn't ever want to –the love of his life, the father of his child. '_God, what have I done?_'

_Body bags and little rags  
>Of children torn in two<br>The jellied brains of those who remain  
>Put the finger right on you<em>

Time started to fly and the fishbowl vision only worsened. There was chattering and arguing and squealing...

_"I mean seriously, did the Cassiel guy propose to you or something?"_

_"It's Castiel, C-A-S-T-I-E-L. Get it right."_

_"Castiel! It's Castiel!"_

_"Spare me." _

_"Oh my god! We get to meet the band, in person, AND spend the entire next day with them! I'm going to sleep with Castiel, and that's final. I called dibs."_

_"Not if I do first."_

_"Ha ha, Dean. Very funny."_

_As the madmen play on words  
>And make us all dance to their song<br>To the tune of starving millions  
>To make a better kind of gun<em>

Mussy black hair with matching stubble, perfect soft lips and piercing blue eyes; the walk of a man who had nothing to hide, confidence in every step and invitation in every swivel of his fine hips. The club was loud, booming and writhing with bodies and sound. Like the entire population was one organism, shifting and roaming and changing. But _he_ stood out; he was gorgeous, eye-grabbing, and right in front of Dean with a finger hooked in the belt loop of his pants and a gentle tug to the dance floor.

_The killer's breed or the demon's seed  
>The glamor, the fortune, the pain<br>Go to war again, blood is freedom's stain  
>Don't you pray for my soul anymore<em>

2 minutes to midnight  
>The hands that threaten doom<br>2 minutes to midnight  
>To kill the unborn in the womb<p>

It always seems like fate has something else planned, whether you're paying attention or not. It'll laugh, and place an object in your path, make you desire it and love it when you'd never even considered the idea before. And just as soon as you've set your sights on what seems to be a perfect coincidence, every Tom, Dick, and Harry; douchebag manager and hellspawn get in your way to stop you. Seriously, give a guy a break. But then what? When you get your long awaited break and it's a clear, fun in the sun and peachy? Do you just lose interest? Does all the work, blood, sweat, and tears go up in smoke? The challenges are there for a reason, and Dean has to believe that. Would Castiel have been as alluring without the fight to get him? Probably, but that doesn't change the fact that he nearly died, doesn't change the fact that he would've killed to stay, cried at a gentle touch where he'd never received such before. No, Castiel was worth every bit of it, and Dean hadn't done squat to deserve it. All he wished he could do was apologize, for a chance to redeem himself, give up his heart and soul to the man he loved and prayed that he accepted. All Dean wished for was the chance to tell Castiel how much he loved him.

And now he was dead.

_Midnight, all night  
>Midnight is all night<br>Midnight, all night  
>Midnight is all night<em>

Midnight, all night

* * *

><p>He felt like a stranger in his own skin, cold and tingly and difficult to force it to follow commands. There was a spread of warmth, something across his chest –an arm maybe? The need for air struck Dean by surprise, with a functioning mind and a body booting up from comatose the slow beat of his battered heart didn't generate the deep breaths necessary to supply his veins with oxygen. Gasping for breath would've been easier had there not been another mouth sealed on his, and Dean fought to sit upright.<p>

Three deep gulps of breath later Dean realized who he had pushed aside in his frenzy, who it was perched next to him with wide, tear-filled blue eyes. "Cas?" Dean exclaimed, too scared that it wasn't real, too thrilled to pass it up. He threw his arms around Cas' trembling shoulders, drawing him close and pressing his lover's slender frame against his own. He'd lost Cas the minute Cas had laid eyes on the two of them in that hotel room, Dean'd given up the love of his life to his own stupid wants, and for all he knew this might be the last time he'd ever get to hold Castiel again. "I'm sorry," Dean whispered, choking back a sob. "Please, Cas... I love you... more than anything. Just, ...please." Dean shook with fear, anxiety, and rejection. What was the point of surviving that blow just to lose Cas all over again?

Cas hadn't even been able to get over the fact that Dean had pushed him, had sat upright and frantically pulled him back into an embrace. His thought to be dead husband bursting to life like that, the man he thought he'd lost now pleading for forgiveness and babbling to him. His heart ached, an excited though mostly indescribable sob shook him, his wet eyes lighting up. The 'true love's kiss' thing worked when he kissed Dean, not when Twix did it. "Oh my god." He squeaked with a pained laugh, "Dean you're alive, baby you're ok!" He squeezed Dean with as much strength as he could muster.

Tommy's heart lifted, his expression brightening as a wide smile spread across his features. "Dad." He whispered and slowly stepped across the room, waiting for his parents to do whatever it is they were going to do.

Twix held Snowe tightly, happy tears falling down his cheeks and landing in his unconscious brother's hair. Dean was alive, it didn't matter what the circumstances were, as long as his father figure was up and with his family, with people who loved him.

Cas leaned back though he stayed in Dean's arms, his lips pulled into a small smile, "Dean," he spoke softly, a hand caressing his husband's chest slowly. "I love you too, and no matter what you do to me, be it love me for eternity or attempt to kill me, I will always come back to you." He planted a kiss on Dean's lips and leaned back with a wider smile, "Always."

"Thank you, Cas. I don't deserve it," Dean hugged Cas tight again, resting his head against Castiel's just feeling the angel's warmth and slight frame. Taking refuge in his true love for a few moments before releasing him again. "I never... I'll never do that to you again."

Cas nodded, "I'm sure you won't." He said surprisingly trustingly.

Tommy took this opportunity to drop into his parent's laps and snuggle in close, weeping like he did when he was a child.

"Tommy!" Dean's mind flashed with quick memories, replying what happened to him, searching for _anything_ to explain what happened. "You're ok!" Dean remembered taking the hit, right in the chest. He remembered the panic, the fear of losing his son to some demon... he'd hit the ground long after his vision blacked out. "Oh my god, you're alive!" Dean hugged his son and wife close, tears falling unchecked down his cheeks.

Sam didn't pass up the moment either, hugging his brother from behind and pressing his forehead against the back of Dean's neck, "I thought I said never do that to me again," he whispered.

"Sam..." Dean's eyes fluttered closed. They all _knew_, his wife, his son, his brother... the brother`s of his admittedly illegal boyfriend. And despite the fact that it was all his own damn fault, they were scared to lose him, at the height of their outrage and disgust, they couldn`t bare losing him. It was downright heart wrenching. ``...thank you."

All of the happy family moments were good but Twix felt that their welcome had been spent already. "We should probably get going, Yoshi." He muttered quietly, pulling himself up while still holding onto Snowe.

"Hn…" Snowe groaned and his eyes started to flutter open, a hazy black where it was supposed to be and nowhere else. "Twix?" He mumbled then glanced over at his other brother, "Yoshi? Where are we? What happened?" Snowe scrunched up his face, missing the utter relief in Twix's eyes after hearing that the demonic undertone was missing from that innocent voice.

"You don't remember anything?" Twix whispered warmly.

Snowe ran a hand up through his hair, eyes staring up past his siblings and at the ceiling. "No, I remember…" he sat up immediately and went over to the Winchester's.

"Snowe, wait…" Twix attempted to protest but his brother didn't stop to listen.

"Dean… I'm really sorry." Snowe didn't fidget or sound unsure, all confusion was out of his tone. "For all of this, to all of you I'm sorry. Dean because you were tricked because of my influence on my brothers, Cas because you were hunted through me, Sam because of what I did to your son, and Charlie…" he looked genuinely upset, tears welling in his eyes as he looked at what he was sure would be his ex very soon, "Charlie I'm so…" His voice cracked as a sob came through, "Please don't hate us," he looked at the crew of people around him, "If I can make it up to you…"

Dean could hardly believe the change in Snowe. The boy was practically healed of mental retardation, if you looked at a before and after. The fidgety, nervous clumsy child was apparently quite the capable individual. The shit a demon can pull on a person. Dean couldn't help but wonder what made Cas so damned important to every supernatural thing in the country that they wanted his head.

"You can." Castiel stood up, his expression serious as he crossed the room to the slender boy; "You and your brothers aren't going to live in that neighbourhood anymore."

Snowe nodded and hung his head slowly, "I… I understand. We'll go."

Cas smiled, "You could look a little happier about moving in next door."

Snowe's head snapped up, "Wha?"

Twix's face twisted in confusion matching his brother's, "Huh?"

"Next door where, Cas?" Anna crossed her arms over her chest, "There aren't other houses for several blocks at the least."

"The property that Gabriel and Balthazar are going to build for me next to this house." Castiel beamed, hands placed on his hips cockily. "The kids need to move out anyway, I figure next door would probably work best."

Tommy grinned, looking over at Yoshi with a wink.

Yoshi returned Tommy's grin with a devilish smirk of his own. Their own place, a _real_ place. Moving in with his boyfriend and all the money in the world. Well, money can't buy happiness, or love, or super-angel-powers. Yeah, _that_ would take some getting used to.

Twix sat completely flabbergasted at the notion, red eyes wide though staring at nothing. "You too," Castiel's voice was directed at him, causing a stirring in his mind.

"I don't understand…"

"You heard your brother, Twix." Cas went to Twix's side and knelt beside him, "You and Dean were led into that, granted I know you both had a hand in it but I trust that you two learned a lesson from it."

Twix nodded quickly, glad that at least he wouldn't be too far away from someone he'd admired since he was in kindergarten. Not just one person though, it was the entire Winchester family that he found himself looking up to. He didn't know what it was but they somehow all turned out to be incredible people.

"Though you aren't getting away with it," Cas strolled back to Dean and Tommy, "You and I are going to have to duke it out some time."

Twix smiled, "I'd like that, Castiel."

Cas smiled, "Alright then."

Charlie could help but keep an eye on Snowe, a close watch. He didn't know how he felt about any of this, whether he bought this whole 'I was possessed' bit. He hadn't seen it, any of it. But everyone else seemed to believe it well enough. Charlie pulled himself from the couch, carefully, and approached Snowe, placing a tentative hand on his shoulder. "H-hey, about all that... could we maybe..." _keep our distance?_ Charlie thought bitterly, no –his dad had taught him better than that. And all the kids were apparently being shoved into a house together. "...maybe start over?" If it wasn't Snowe's fault, Charlie was sure he'd see the difference. He knew that laugh, he knew that evil glint. If any of it was there again, he was gone –better yet, Snowe was dead. But that was the worst case scenario, and something about this felt alright.

Snowe could have swallowed his own heart in the time that Charlie took to ask that question. Charlie had every right to hate him, to want to hurt him and get the hell away from him, Snowe understood full well. He hoped he could fix it. "Yes, Charlie." He smiled tentatively, worried but willing to try again. "If you'll let me, I'd love to make it up to you." That innocence in his eyes wasn't as oblivious and strong as it was, it was apparent he'd seen things, knew that he'd done things, but that didn't change the fact that he was still Snowe. He was still adorable and lacked a lot of the mentality that it took to hurt another person, which is why so much of the demon came forward when he'd attacked Charlie.

Sam smiled, relieved that his son could at least try to forgive and forget. Granted he was pretty pissed Charlie had been hurt at all, most of the things that had happened were a little too much to take in all in one shot to begin with. His reaction moreover came out in a 'oh my god my brother's dead' kind of reaction.

"Guys!" Chuck ran into the living room, waiving a disarray of pages in his hand. "I've finally finished my novel! So there's this guy, well, I kind of modeled him after Dean cuz... well I started it in high school, leave me alone, I'll edit it. Anyway, he falls in love with this other guy –but sort of has issues about it, cuz he's like totally anti-gay. So later we find out that the other guy is actually an angel! Well, I threw that in there because the plot was dying... Anyway, I posted it on ff . net, you should really check it out!"

Cas laughed, "Sure, Chuck. Will do, as long as you don't include sequels I think we'll manage."

**A/N****: Also, final reviews of the series would be nice, tell us what you thought of the chapter then if you can remember the rest of the series as well, I'd like to know a few of your favourite moments :)**


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